by KC Burn
Hayden frowned at him. “What chocolates?”
“The ones you had delivered. Didn’t you? They came today. I assumed they were from you.” Jez’s mouth dried out as Hayden continued to frown in confusion.
“I didn’t have anything delivered.”
Jez whirled and strode into the kitchen, Hayden on his heels. “These.” Two pounds—a ridiculous amount for someone who had to watch almost every calorie he put in his mouth if he wanted to keep his job—sat on the counter. And he wouldn’t have eaten them anyway, as they weren’t vegan; he’d assumed Hayden had forgotten that most chocolate had dairy in it. But now they lurked rather than sitting innocuously as they’d done not thirty minutes prior.
“Did they have a return address?”
“No. A delivery guy showed up and handed them to me.”
“What about a card?”
Jez shrugged. “I didn’t see one, but I couldn’t think of anyone else who would send me something like this.” Or at least, no one who knew his address. Jayson was long out of his life and living clear across the country. This had to be some sort of weird, uncomfortable coincidence.
Hayden picked up the box and looked underneath. A white envelope was stuck to the bottom. Hayden yanked it off and ripped it open.
“From your secret admirer.”
Hayden turned the paper over in his hands, frowning. Jez stumbled to the kitchen table and fell heavily into one of the seats.
“It can’t be.”
“What can’t be?”
“Hayden, this is how it started with Jayson. He sent me all these gifts, supposedly from my secret admirer. It was this coy little deception that amused the crap out of him.”
Hayden brought the chocolates and card over to the table.
The chocolates were still sealed, but that didn’t make a difference to Jez. They were going right in the garbage. In an earlier, more idyllic time, food items from a secret admirer would have been sweet. But even without his experience with Jayson, eating something from an unknown sender seemed about as smart as accepting a drink from a guy in a club when you hadn’t watched the bartender mix it up yourself.
“Maybe it’s nothing.” If Jez had been on film that second, no one would have bought his conviction. This was something, he just didn’t know what.
Hayden pulled out his phone. After a few seconds, he lifted his head, expression serious. “What was that guy’s name again?”
“Jayson. Jayson Bain.”
Hayden flipped his phone so Jez could see it. An article dated October 30 spoke of several hockey trades. Jez clutched the phone and scrolled to find the list of players’ names. Jayson fucking Bain. Jayson had been traded to Los Angeles. That couldn’t be a coincidence. It hadn’t been headline news anywhere because Jayson hadn’t played enough to have any name recognition, and Jez had deleted his hockey app weeks ago in an attempt to pretend Jayson had never been a part of his life.
Jez wrung his hands, fingers chilled and bloodless. “How did he find me? What is he doing here?”
Hayden wrapped both of his large hands around Jez’s smaller ones, and they radiated heat and comfort. “First, this could be a coincidence. It’s a weird one, I grant you. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. I think we should wait and see.”
Jez nodded, but he didn’t believe that. For whatever reason, Jayson had followed him to California. It had been months of radio silence. The restraining order should have been the end of it.
“I’m going to call Marco.”
Panic spiked, making Jez shaky and tense. “No, you can’t.”
Hayden squeezed his hands. “Hey. We can wait if you want, but I think it would be a good idea. But first, maybe you ought to tell me how it is Jayson took out a restraining order on you. Did you… I don’t know, retaliate in some way after your request for a protection order was denied? You can tell me anything, I swear.”
Jez hung his head. He’d hoped with all his soul that he’d just be able to forget all the crap with Jayson had ever happened. But that was not to be.
“I’m sorry. I should have told you everything. But I was afraid you’d think I was crazy. It sounds fucking crazy, so fucking crazy I ditched all my friends, who didn’t believe me, and it’s why I ended up needing antianxiety meds. How long have you known about the protection order?”
“Since the night you got arrested.”
Jez stared at Hayden. In other words, weeks. Hayden had known weeks and not only hadn’t demanded to know what was going on, but hadn’t treated Jez any differently, despite the occasional quizzical glance. Hell, Jez had never been so pampered as he’d been when Hayden brought him home from the police station.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Hayden genuinely had no clue, and Jez didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky.
“For believing in me. If you didn’t, you would have demanded that day to know why I’d lied. Or at least left out part of the story.”
“I loved you even then. And I was sure whatever happened, you weren’t crazy.”
A bitter laugh escaped his throat. “I’m glad you think so, because sometimes I’m not so sure.” He dragged in a fortifying breath and tried not to grimace at the taste of soot that accompanied it.
“So, everything happened the way I told you. But then, when I thought Jayson had stopped, given up, he’d been sending himself gifts. That were supposedly from me. He had a burner phone and used that to call his own phone at weird hours. Gushy emails from a generic JB1993 email address that he also claimed was mine. And then he went to the cops and got his own restraining order against me. I assumed it was partly because he was mad at me and partly because he’d gotten called up to an NHL team. I figured he’d use the restraining order as a way to prove his straightness and to support his argument that I was only a crazy fan, not a boyfriend. And he didn’t get laughed out of the station, because he was rich and a minor celebrity with a great athletic career in his future.”
“That’s messed up.”
“I even tried to explain that I hadn’t bought those things, that the email wasn’t mine, but it didn’t matter. No one was going to subpoena financial records for a protection order, especially when I had no intention or desire to get within fifty yards of Jayson ever again. Honestly, it seemed like a relief. Like he was admitting we were truly done. It seemed a small price to pay for that freedom.”
Hayden gripped his hands again. “Then came the job offer from the casting director.”
“Exactly. The job was a godsend, because my relationship with Jayson changed everything, but if I wiped my life and ran, maybe that would put me back on the right track.”
“Yeah, I’m calling Marco. We need to share this with him. Get a record of it. It might be the only way to fight back.” Hayden flipped the box of chocolates over. “You wouldn’t even eat these anyway. There’s dairy in them.”
“I love you.” Hayden might not ever become a vegan, but Jez adored the fact that Hayden just accepted his veganism and made their lives work around it, rather than try to cajole him.
“I love you too.” Hayden’s voice was soft and warm, like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. And there were better things to do than talking with his firefighter boyfriend who’d been gone for two weeks being a hero.
“Can we just forget about this for now? For a day? I want to go upstairs and spend the rest of the day in bed with you, whether we have sex or sleep.”
Hayden smiled, wide and happy. “Both would be better. But sleep first.”
Jez smiled back. “Sleep first.”
“Let’s go. The chocolates will keep until morning.”
Thank God he’d stocked up on edibles like chips and dip and veggie crudités. They’d have plenty of fuel to keep them going without any major interruptions.
Chapter 12
JEZ THOUGHT he’d be awake long before Hayden, but between the stress of Hayden being gone, the extra work he’d put into redecorating one of the rooms, and then the panic of
the secret admirer gift, he’d actually slept in a little bit. Until Hayden had gone to work under the covers, reminding Jez of one of the many, many reasons living with Hayden was the best thing ever.
After they’d cleaned up, they went downstairs. While Hayden started making coffee, Jez tossed the box of chocolates in a cupboard in the mudroom where he wouldn’t have to look at it every time he walked into the kitchen.
They drank coffee while Fang danced around their feet.
“When do you have to be back at the firehouse?”
Hayden shrugged. “I have another few days off. When are you due on set?”
That was the best news ever. “I have today off. We can just… stay home.”
With a grin, Hayden pulled him close with one arm. “Best homecoming ever.” He glanced down at Fang doing his puppy pee-pee dance. “Should we just put him out in the yard or get dressed and take him for a walk?”
As much as Jez wanted to stay holed up indoors, taking their dog for a walk wasn’t a bad thing. The weather was good, and Hayden might like to enjoy some fresh air that wasn’t filled with ash and soot. They could even go past the doughnut place Hayden liked—which also carried vegan doughnuts—and get a treat for breakfast. Later, he could enjoy one of his favorite activities: stripping his boyfriend out of his clothes. Always a fun time.
With Fang’s increasing desperation, they got dressed lightning fast, snapped on Fang’s leash, then got going.
AN HOUR later, with Fang’s energy depleted, they walked hand in hand up their street, Hayden carrying a box of doughnuts and Jez carrying a sleepy pup.
They turned up their walkway and Jez yanked on Hayden’s hand, pulling him to a stop.
“What’s up, baby?”
Jez thrust his chin toward the door. “Were you expecting a delivery?”
Expression fierce, Hayden drew himself up, then let go of Jez’s hand to inspect the cellophane-wrapped bundle.
“It’s a fruit basket,” Hayden called out.
Jez approached slowly, cuddling Fang close to his chest. “Read the card.”
“Your secret admirer.” Hayden’s tone was positively glacial. “We’re calling Marco.”
“It’s a fruit basket.” Jez tried to reason with Hayden, although as far as he was concerned, it might as well have been a basket of vipers. “The cops won’t take this any more seriously than they did in New York. Even if you are friends with some of them.”
Hayden sighed. “Maybe you’re right. This isn’t exactly dangerous. But we’re taking pictures of this too, just in case.”
“Put it in the mudroom for now, please.” It could rot there with the chocolates for all Jez cared, but he suspected Hayden would make sure the perishables went out with the next garbage pickup. Jez had no desire to be subjected to ridicule a second time, didn’t want anyone implying he had some sort of mental illness beyond the anxiety that was all Jayson’s fault anyway.
Hayden grasped the handle with his free hand, then peered more closely at the contents. “Mangos? You don’t even like mangos. Can we be sure this was Jayson? Between the nonvegan chocolates and these mangos, how could this be an ex-boyfriend?”
Those words filled Jez with more warmth and love than a standing ovation. “I have to admit, that was a big part of why I broke up with him. He never listened when I spoke, never thought about me as a person at all beyond being his boyfriend. You know, in private, where no one from the league would find out.”
The fates could not be so cruel as to give Jez another stalker. The simplest explanation was Jayson. “Maybe this is Jayson’s way of apologizing? I mean, he’s got a high-profile career to think about now. And no one is going to believe chocolates and mangos are a problem.”
The look Hayden sent his way said he was not convinced. “Maybe. But I still think I should call Marco. Not officially, but as a friend.”
Hayden led them inside and put the fruit basket in the mudroom while Jez started another pot of coffee to have with their doughnuts.
Hayden got out plates, because that was a given, and they sat at the kitchen table waiting for the coffee to brew. After pushing the fried, glazed, sprinkle-covered pastry around the plate for a few minutes, Hayden huffed. “Look. I understand why you want to avoid talking to the cops. I get it. I do. But here’s the thing. He’s the one who has a restraining order, so whether or not he manufactured the incidents required to get one, that piece of paper is going to color your interactions with anyone official. What if he wants to take this a step further? What if he’s trying to goad you into violating the protection order?”
Shit, shit, shit. Jez had just started wondering if he should call Jayson. Tell him to back off or ask him if he was responsible for sending the gifts. But Hayden made a damn good point. Considering Hayden made a lifelong habit of avoiding conflict, the least Jez could do was take Hayden’s suggestion seriously. Especially since such a diabolical plan suited his scheming, vindictive ex.
The basket’s arrival had already cast a pall over the day anyway. “Fine. Call Marco. We can get his opinion.”
Hayden beamed, and Jez suspected he’d be giving in to Hayden’s persuasiveness more often than not.
After the phone call where they decided Marco would stop by sometime after noon, Hayden inhaled three doughnuts. “C’mon. Let’s watch a movie or something. Take our mind off things.”
Jez did his best to smile. “Sounds good.”
AT THE dining room table he almost never used, Hayden sat between Jez and Marco. They’d been there for an hour now while Marco took notes and picked apart every bit of Jez’s story. If this was “unofficial” Marco, Hayden could only imagine how much more exacting he was when interrogating an actual criminal. Aside from some uncomfortable hand-wringing, Jez’s answers and comportment seemed to… thaw Marco somewhat. He hadn’t gone so far as to be impressed, but Hayden was confident he’d treat the situation with gravity and fairness.
Marco tapped his notebook with his pen. “Okay, I don’t want to give you false hope.” Those words sent Hayden’s stomach plummeting ankleward. “I have confidence that the majority of my fellow law enforcement in New York would have investigated your claim with the same impartiality they would have any other. That being said, mistakes are made. And even cops can be assholes. From what you’ve told me, it’s possible that you slipped through the cracks. But honestly, it’s also possible that you did what this Jayson Bain said you did, and you’re lying right now.”
Hayden scowled at his friend. Marco’d never said anything derogatory in Hayden’s presence that he could recall, but could he still have some deep-seated prejudices? “What the fuck, Marco? He’s not lying to you. I’m not lying to you. I see people stunned, in shock, on a weekly fucking basis, and Jez was totally taken by surprise when those things showed up.”
“Relax, Hayden. I don’t think you’re lying, Jez. But your ex has already met the burden of proof, and that’s going to tip things in his favor.”
“There’s nothing you can do?” Hayden wanted to nip things in the bud before anything escalated.
“I didn’t say that either. I can ask some questions, see if there’s enough to open an official investigation. You already told me that they think you paid for all of those gifts, both to yourself and later to Jayson. That’s quite damning.”
“And I also told you I didn’t. I don’t know who paid for them, but it wasn’t me. I swear. I can give you my bank statements. My credit card statements. Can’t you get his financial records?”
Marco shook his head. “Nope. It’d take an act of God to open an investigation and subpoena records with what you’ve given me so far. But send me your statements. I’ll do some digging. See if there’s anything I can use to take to a judge.”
“Thanks, Marco. I appreciate anything you can do.” Jez said all the right things, but he clearly didn’t have faith that Marco would accomplish anything. Hayden didn’t care. Documentation was important.
But Hayden wasn’t going to let Jay
son tear Jez’s life apart a second time.
They stood and walked Marco to the door. Jez had his arms wrapped around his torso like he was cold. After Marco left, Hayden pulled him close and kissed him. “It’s all going to work out fine.” Hayden wouldn’t stand for any other outcome, even if it meant hiring a pit bull of a lawyer.
“I hope so.” Jez sighed. “I sometimes think if I hadn’t tried to get a restraining order in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening now.”
“You don’t know that. And you can’t blame yourself. Your ex did some seriously shady shit. Just stealing your passwords is pretty fucking skeevy. If he wasn’t already doing okay, you could be out a lot of money, because who says he’d stop at getting your banking passwords and PINs too? Or he might have physically hurt you. Second-guessing is a useless exercise.”
“Yeah. I guess.”
Hayden tilted his head. “How about a happier topic? Did you end up doing any decorating? Can I see?” He hadn’t seen anything out of place, but he had noticed Jez had been extra careful to ensure Hayden hadn’t come home to a mess, confirming he’d picked the right man to fall in love with. He was surprisingly eager to see what Jez had done.
Jez clapped his hands. “Oh, yes. Maria and I had a great time.” Then he pouted. “But it’s not quite ready. I had to order some stuff that hasn’t arrived yet. Don’t go into any of the guest rooms, okay?”
Hayden’s pulse picked up just a bit. “Any? I thought we agreed one room.”
“We did, but decorating can create a bit of a mess, so I kept it all in the other two rooms. When the new room is ready, the other two will get cleaned up too, I promise.”
All right. He could accept that. “Then how about we settle in on the couch. Watch TV and order pizza.” One day Hayden was going to have to take Jez out to a club or something, but he was glad Jez didn’t seem to mind hanging out around home. Without any gay friends, clubbing had been a means to an end. But Hayden thought he might enjoy dancing with his boyfriend and knowing that man would be coming home with him and getting into their bed.