One More Try

by Erin Trejo

  Dax picks me up and throws me into the water. I fall under and come back up laughing.

  Bash is there, in front of me. His hands wrap around me quickly.

  “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers before kissing me roughly.

  “Where’s Cory?” I ask when I notice he doesn’t have him anymore.

  “With his daddy. Now come over here to your daddy,” he says in that sexy as hell voice of his. I step closer, our bodies touching.

  “Since when do I need to call you daddy?” I ask, flirting a little with him.

  “Since I said you are,” he kisses me once more, grinding his body against mine.

  “What’s your thought on ocean sex?” he whispers while nipping at my ear.

  “I think you should try it,” I tell him.

  “We should try it.” Bash grabs me, walking us out into the water further, just beyond the waves. It’s a peaceful feeling to be out here right now.

  The sun is beginning to set, the water has calmed.

  Bash reaches down, pulling my bottoms to the side before I feel him. So, hard, and ready to take what he wants from me.

  Bash shoves into me, I slide my legs around his waist, holding on tightly.

  Bash bucks his hips while pulling me down on his length.

  “I think I like ocean sex,” I mumble before kissing his shoulder.

  “Wait till later when we try that hot tub sex.” He plunges into me and all I can feel is him.

  His warmth.

  His body.

  His love.

  Chapter 58

  Sebastian

  “Meet me in my room,” Bomber says as we all walk back to the hotel.

  After everything that happened he decided it would be a good idea for all of us to take a break and relax. It was a much-needed break, too.

  The last year has ran us down. So many things have changed.

  The other clubs focus has been aimed at us. Extra heat from the cops has been aimed at us. We’re not sure where the hell half of this is coming from seeing how we were good with everyone right before we killed that Tyler punk.

  Link checked into all his connections and as far as we could see, he didn’t have any. He was just a fucking punk that was a little off in the head. He wanted something that wasn’t his to have.

  After that though, shit went downhill for us. This trip was supposed to be a good thing but now I have a bad fucking feeling about that, too.

  “I’ll be up in minute.” I kiss Shannon on the cheek as she climbs in the elevator. She nods and smiles at me. I watch her until the doors close.

  “Someone is whooped!” Dax hollers behind me. I chuckle before I turn around and see the idiot with a grin on his face.

  “Yeah. You!” I shove at his chest as we walk down the hallway toward Bomber’s room.

  “Nah, she’s got you by the nuts man. I’m gonna start callin’ her the nut cracker,” he laughs.

  “Do that, and I’ll sit back and watch her slit your goddamn throat,” I laugh again. His smile drops from his face. It’s amusing to watch the king of comebacks speechless.

  “Shit. I forgot she did that. Yeah, I ain’t callin’ her shit.” I can’t help but laugh at him.

  They’ve all seen a different side of Shannon since that night. She’s come out of her shell. She’s outspoken. She will tell you what she thinks and doesn’t care if you like it. Hell, she does that to me more times than I care to admit.

  It’s sexy, though. That attitude looks good on her. She needs to hold her head high. After everything in her past, she deserves that much.

  I’ve never met a stronger woman than her. I know we all have a past. I know we’ve all overcome obstacles but I like to think that Shannon had the worst of it. She was taken once before. She was used. She was beaten, and she still came out stronger from it.

  Losing our daughter, that took a toll on me, too. For so long, I thought I was going to lose my shit. I still feel it in the pit of my stomach.

  On those nights when I can’t sleep and I swear I heard a baby crying.... It haunts me. I feel like a part of that was my fault too. I didn’t directly hurt her but there is that darkness that surrounds me and draws in all the fucking negative.

  Losing her put a lot of things into prospective. This last year has shown me a lot of my wrongs.

  “We got some news!” Bomber says when the door closes behind us.

  “Rangers are gearin’ up for that war. We took out some of their top men and they ain’t happy about it. They want revenge, they want blood.” My palms sweat. I want it too. They just don’t know how badly.

  “Basket got wind of it. They aren’t hittin’ us any time soon. They are preparin’ for this. From what he heard—they want to torture and fuck the whole lot of us,” he says the words with a smile on his face. That’s my fucking Prez right there!

  “We’re ready for that shit!” Bullet roars. The guys all agree. We’ve been waiting on them to retaliate. We knew it would come.

  “Yeah, we’re ready. Somethin’ about this time feels off to me, boys. I can’t put my finger on that shit for the life of me. I don’t like it. One thing I am sure of, though... I will fight for this club. I will fight for you! You are MY men!” His whole demeanor has changed. He’s as serious as I’ve ever seen him before.

  “We got this, Prez. We’re ready when it comes,” Micah says. We all agree on that, too.

  “Spend this time with family. We don’t know when the strike will come but we will be ready when it does!.”

  Chapter 59

  Shannon

  I lie on the bed waiting for Bash to come back when my phone rings.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Shannon.” Her voice filters through the phone and my heart clenches.

  “Mom?”

  “It’s me. I know we haven’t talked in a long time. I know it’s my fault. Our relationship hasn’t been the best in the past. I talked to your uncle though. I know what happened and I’m so sorry, Shannon. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” I can hear her crying on the other end but I don’t know what to say to her. It’s been so long since I’ve actually talked to her.

  “I...” Sobs choke me. I swore I wouldn’t do this again. I swore I wouldn’t cry.

  “I miss her, Mom. I never got to hold her or touch her.” The tears come. I can’t stop them.

  “Oh, Shannon. I’m so sorry.” She says crying her own tears. It’s hard to hear her crying too. I know we didn’t have the best relationship but hearing her cry always killed me.

  “She was a girl, huh? Did you name her?” She asks as she tries to control her sobs.

  “Yeah. She was a girl. We didn’t name her.” Now that I think about it, why didn’t we name her? Why didn’t we do something for her?

  “You should name her. It will bring you some kind of peace, Shannon. I never told you this but I had a miscarriage once. We named him Oliver. It helped me get through a lot of the pain that I felt. He had a name. He had a life,” she says and it all makes sense.

  My heart leaps in my chest when I think about her having a name.

  “Thank you, Mom. I think you’re right,” I tell her.

  “I know you are on vacation but when you get back, do you think it’d be ok if I came to visit? I really miss you.” She wants to come see me? She’s never said that before.

  “I’d like that.” The door opens and Bash walks in looking as perfect as ever.

  “Good. I’d like that, too. I’ll let you get some vacation time in. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for what happened.”

  “Thank you, Mom. For everything.” I hang the phone up and set it on the bed.

  “Mom?” Bash asks as he walks toward me. I nod my head once before wiping at my eyes.

  “She talked to Bomber. She wanted to say she was sorry about the baby.” Bash’s jaw ticks. I know that look. “What? Just say it,” I tell him annoyed with him already.

  “After a year? Where was
she when you needed her the most?” he snaps. He’s always been like this.

  “I didn’t want her there, Bash. I had you. That’s all I wanted.” I grab his cheeks in my hands, pulling him to me. I press my lips to his and savor the feeling of him.

  “Can we name her?” I ask with his breath tickling my skin.

  “Of course, we can. What were you thinkin’?” He pulls back to look me in the eyes. He reaches up and pushes a stray hair behind my ear.

  “I don’t know. I never really thought about names,” I admit. We didn’t know she was a girl until we lost her. I hadn’t really picked out names before that.

  “Sabrina,” he says softly, pressing his lips to mine again.

  “Part of both of us,” I whisper.

  “Sebastian and Shannon. It feels right, Sabrina,” he says with a shrug.

  “How the hell did it end up you picking our baby’s name?” I joke with him. He laughs before laying me back on the bed. Hovering over me, he grins down at me.

  “You can pick the rest. Whatever you want to name them.” He watches me. What is he watching for? A reaction to what he just said?

  “Them, huh? I suppose you think I’m going to walk around pregnant all the time,” I joke. His eyes flicker with fire. The fire that I love in him.

  “As much as I can fill you with. You’re lucky you are on that shot. I’m pretty sure I’ve unleashed a few baby’s in there.” He grinds his hard body against me and I’m lost in him.

  “I love you, Sebastian.”

  “I love you too, Shannon.”

  Chapter 60

  Sebastian

  As soon as Shannon said that she wanted to name our little girl, I knew she wasn’t fully past it.

  I can’t say that I blame her. There are nights that still haunt me.

  Tonight is our last night here, and I want to do something special for her.

  I left her in the room with Link, of all fucking people and stole all the girls to help me with this shit.

  “Are you really doing this?” Aubrie throws her arm around my waist and asks.

  “She needs that closure. So do I.” She nods her head before she smiles.

  “I think it’s perfect, Bash. She will never see it coming. How did you think of it anyway?” Trinity says as we walk along the shops. I probably look like a fucking pimp out here with these hot ass women at my side.

  “There was a thing on TV one night. Shan saw it and loved it. She kept sayin’ she didn’t know what she would do it for but one day she was gonna try it,” I laugh. I remember that night.

  “You paid attention?” Ivy fakes shock. I give her a look and make her laugh.

  “I know my woman. Fuck, you girls act like I’m some kind of degenerate.” They all laugh as we walk into a little shop.

  Aubrie darts to the counter, no doubt asking about the things we will need. She’s as excited about this as I am.

  “This will be good for her, Bash. You’re doing the right thing.” Laura smiles up at me. I reach for Cory and pull him into my arms.

  “Can you help her?” I nod toward Aubrie. Laura smiles and nods.

  I walk around with Cory. I just needed a minute with him.

  “I look at you and see her sometimes. It’s probably all kinds of wrong. You’re a good boy, though. You’re gonna make a good man one day. I hope I get a boy one day just as good as you, little man.” Cory grins up at me as he chews on his fingers.

  In a perfect world, I’d be holding my daughter in my arms. In a perfect world, she would be smiling up at me.

  We don’t live in the perfect world. Our world hurts. It takes. It doesn’t give. If you want it, you fight for it. And I damn sure plan on fighting for my woman.

  Shannon deserves the best that anyone can give her. She chose me. She picked me to love. She let me have her heart and I plan on taking damn good care of that.

  “They are delivering it all to the hotel,” Aubrie says with a smile. I nod my head and walk out of the store.

  “What do you mean? How much shit did you get?” Aubrie doesn’t answer. She acts like she didn’t hear me but I see the grin on her face. That little shit.

  “Just enough,” she mumbles.

  “Just enough says the woman. You gonna help me out here, little man?” I ask Cory. I get that lopsided grin again.

  We head back to the hotel and Laura takes Cory to get a nap. I head up to find Shannon and tell her that I have a surprise for her.

  I think that at the end of the day this is something that we all need. We all need that closure and we all need to make our way into the future.

  “Baby! Where are you?” I holler as I walk into the room. I don’t see her but the bathroom door is open.

  I walk over with my nerves on edge about tonight.

  “Shan?” I push the door open and find her sitting on the edge of the bath tub a small stick in her hands.

  “What’s that?” I ask nodding toward it. She looks up at me with fear etched into her pretty face. I drop down in front of her on my knees.

  “Talk to me, darlin’.” Shannon looks up with tears in her eyes.

  “I took my shots on time, Bash. I swear to you I did.” I look at her confused again.

  “I know. So, what?” I ask not following here.

  “I’m pregnant, Bash. I know you didn’t want kids right now. I know... I took the shot on time. I don’t know how this could have happened.” The tears stream down her face as I smile. I don’t think I’ve smiled this wide in a long fucking time.

  “You mean it?” I ask. Shannon looks up at me confused.

  “Yeah. I took four tests because I didn’t believe it.”

  Chapter 61

  Shannon

  Bash sits in front of me with that stupid grin on his face. I’m waiting for it to sink in and him explode.

  That doesn’t happen though.

  “We get another chance?” he asks instead. I cock my head to the side and study the man in front of me, wondering what he’s done with my Bash.

  “You said you didn’t want kids right now, Bash,” I remind him of his own words.

  “Fuck what I said. I want it, Shan. God, I fuckin’ want it.” He stands up and yanks me from the edge of the tub, pulling me into his chest.

  I’m so confused right now. Bash has never acted like this before. Dark and brooding, I can handle, but this new almost happy Bash confuses the hell out of me.

  “You’re ok with this?” I ask as he squeezes me tighter.

  “Yeah, Fuck yeah, I am. Shit. We need to get goin’. I have a surprise for you.” As quickly as he was there, he’s gone. I watch him rush around the room like a crazed man.

  “Who the fuck are you? Where is my dark Bash?” I ask with my hands on my hips. This is insane.

  “I’m right here, baby. If you need me to tie you to the bed later to prove, I will.” There he is. That dark seductive tone makes my pussy clench.

  “I might like that now.” I walk toward him slowly. His eyes meet mine but he shakes his head.

  “Got plans, darlin’. Unless you want those girls to cut my dick off for bein’ late, we gotta go.” He grabs a marker off the dresser and shoves it into his pocket before moving toward me.

  Grabbing my hand in his, he drags me out into the hallway.

  “What the hell is wrong with you? You are acting really fucking weird, Bash.” I almost want to protest and don’t go with him.

  He stops in front of me, gripping my face in his hands.

  “We need to finish somethin’. We need a fresh start and I think I know how to do that. I’ve planned this out all day. I thought it over. We need this. Both of us. Just trust me, Shan.” He kisses me slowly and melt into him.

  “I do trust you.”

  “Then come on. You’re makin’ us late and you know Aubrie fuckin’ hates when we’re late,” he says dragging me again.

  I laugh this time. It’s a sight to see. Bash afraid of Aubrie.

  We walk out the back door of the hotel and
that’s when I see all the candles lit in the sand. My heart nearly falls from my chest.

  I gasp as we walk further and I see everyone standing in a circle.

  “What is this?” I ask looking up at him. He doesn’t say a word. He just smiles and walks.

  “We’re here to let go of the past and look toward the future. We’ve all suffered loss. Some greater than others. We all know how it feels to grieve. We all know the pain. Tonight, we put it all behind us. We release it into the wind. We take that piece of the past and let it go,” Bomber says. I watch as everyone picks up a lantern.

  “You did this for me? You remembered?” I look up at him and gasp once more. He didn’t forget.

  “I remember everything you tell me, Shan. I fuckin’ love you so much that it hurts at times. I think you deserve so much more than me but when I look into your eyes, I can see how much you fuckin’ love me. I need that. I need you. All of you.” He presses a quick kiss to my lips before he hands me the lantern and a marker.

  “On your lantern, write what you’re lettin’ go of. We all have somethin’,” Bomber says as I watch him write on his.

  “What do we write?” I ask looking up at him. I have an idea but I want to hear him say it.

  “Her. We let her go,” he says softly. My heart hurts. It’s the right thing to do.

  I write Sabrina on the lantern before Bash takes the marker.

  I watch him write before he shows it to me.

  “My little angel. You’re free to watch over us now. Mommy and Daddy love you so much and we’ll miss you always.”

  Tears fill my eyes.

  “It’s perfect, Bash.” He nods once before he lights the flame inside of the lantern.

  “Let it go,” he says. I hold it up and let go.

  Bash wraps his arm around me as we watch the lanterns fly into the night.

  “She’s free, Bash,” I whisper. I don’t know if he heard me.

  We all stand in silence as we watch the lights dance across the sky.