Working My Way Back to You

by Doreen Alsen

  “It was really bad. Really bad. He went insane.” She picked up the glass of iced tea she had at her side. “Tried to have Jeff arrested for rape. Jeff and I ran away so it wouldn’t happen.” She took a sip of tea. “We ended up right here in Lobster Cove in the middle of a huge blizzard.”

  “Yikes.” Jenna put her hand on Beth’s arm. “What happened next?”

  “My supposed best friend, his current wife, the biggest skank in the universe, told on us, like actually called the Lobster Cove police and my father so we got hauled back to Addington. My father packed up me and my mom and made sure we disappeared. He got super paranoid about Jeff finding where we were and moved us all over the place.”

  “How’d she know where you were going?”

  “One of Jeff’s friend’s family had a summer cottage here. We were going to stay there until we could find a justice of the peace and get married.”

  “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”

  Beth nodded. “Here’s the thing. My father wanted me to give Danny up for adoption but I couldn’t do it. I begged him to let me keep him.”

  “Obviously he let you.”

  “But with a price. I had to change my last name to Rawson and give Danny that name, too. I could never let Jeff know about Danny or have any contact with him at all.”

  Jenna shook her head, broke off a hunk of muffin, and popped it into her mouth. “Damn, this is good.” She swallowed. “Aren’t your parents dead?”

  “Yeah. I was going to do the right thing, find Jeff and tell him about Danny.”

  “What stopped you? I mean, I’m guessing he still doesn’t know—hence all the secrecy.”

  Beth shook her head. “I looked him up on Facebook. His status said he was married”—she scowled—“to Skankarella—who called the police on us, remember?” She sniffed. “Bitch. Call me petty, but I just couldn’t make myself share my son with her.” Shrugging, she said, “Plus I was so mad he married the one person who split us apart and ruined my life, who almost got him sent to jail, I decided he was too stupid to deserve to know Danny. So I kept quiet.”

  Jenna frowned. “You’ll have to tell him at some point. Lobster Cove is a really small town. You need to give him the news before he finds out on his own.”

  “I know, I know. I just don’t know how I’m going to find the courage to share my son with the two of them.” She took another sip of tea to cool her temper down. “But there’s more.”

  Jenna groaned. “Of course there is. Do I want to know?” She shook her head. “What am I asking? Of course I want to know.”

  “My father wouldn’t let Danny know he was created outside of marriage, so he made up a husband for me and a father for Danny. For his whole life Danny’s believed his father died a hero in Afghanistan before he was born.”

  “Holy petunia.”

  “For real. How can I tell my son I’ve lied to him for his whole life? He’s going to hate me.”

  “You’re his mother, he’s not going to hate you. I imagine he’ll be mad for a while, but he loves you. He’ll come around.”

  “But what if Jeff sues for custody? He’s married and has a good job. I’m a single mother, working all these pick up jobs to take care of us. I don’t have the money to hire a lawyer.” Beth ran her hands over her face. “I’ve let it go on so long. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself and borrow trouble. I haven’t heard anything about a wife, but if anyone can find out, it’s Sally at the diner. I’ll schmooze her to find out what she knows.” Jenna stood. “Why don’t you go talk to Father Zack? I know the two of you are close. Maybe he can help you come up with a plan.”

  Beth pursed her lips. “That’s probably a good idea. I’ve got a meeting with him tomorrow about some extra music for mass on Sunday. I’ll ask him then.”

  “Good.” The big antique clock on the wall chimed five o’clock. “Closing time. We did pretty well today.” Jenna smiled as she went to the store’s door, turned the lock and flipped the Open sign to Closed. “You’ve got a lot of friends here and they’re strangers in town. Don’t forget that.”

  Beth got up and took the plate with her untouched muffin to the little kitchen off the storeroom. Sure, she had friends now. They’d most likely all hate her by the time word of her secret got out.

  Chapter Five

  Jeff’s Junior Sharks ran laps. A mixed bag of abilities, as usual, but they were enthusiastic. Most of them had some experience playing football, but there were a couple who’d never been on a team before.

  That was okay. He loved introducing kids to the game.

  One kid in particular caught his eye. That kid from yesterday, Danny Rawson, had shown up today with permission from his mom to be on the team.

  The kid could run. He turned out to be super-fast and agile. Jeff couldn’t wait to see what the kid could do when shown how to throw the ball.

  Some of the kids were slowing down. He blew his whistle. The kids looked at him.

  “Walk it off and take a water break!” Some kids were visibly relieved. Not this Danny kid. He looked disappointed, like he wanted to keep running, but he followed orders. Jeff remembered the feeling. Back in the day he couldn’t stand still even if his life had depended on it. He never walked when he could run, never sat when he could stand, always had to be on the move.

  He walked over to the kid. “Hey, Danny. You’re a pretty fast runner.”

  Danny grinned. “I like to run.”

  “I could tell.” He cleared his throat. Somehow a lump had formed in there. The kid just got to him. “So, you got your mom to let you join the team.”

  “Mrs. Parks did that. First Mom said no because she wants me to play the piano and I don’t want to.” Danny looked up at him with happy eyes. “Mom said I got a lot going on and that we can’t afford the equipment, but then she said yes. I told her I’d do some stuff to get the money for the equipment but she said she didn’t care. She’d figure it out.” He wrinkled his nose. “She works a lot of jobs because my dad died in Afghanistan and sometimes she says money is tight.”

  Jeff resolved that Danny would get his equipment for free. “I’m sorry you lost your dad.” However, he was curious. “What would you do to get the money?”

  “Lots of things. Mowing lawns, cleaning garages, walking dogs.” He rubbed his grimy hand over his mouth. “I really want to walk dogs.”

  “Like dogs, huh?” Jeff didn’t want to speculate about how many germs were on the hand Danny swiped across his face. “Me, too.”

  “I really want a dog, but we’re not home enough to take care of one. Mom says maybe someday.”

  Jeff smiled. The kid was a pistol.

  He noticed a couple of boys pushing each other around over by the bench.

  Okay, break time over. He blew the whistle. “Everyone come over here and grab a ball. We’re going to learn to pass!”

  ****

  “Hey, Beth! Thanks for coming in special for this.” Father Zack beamed at Beth.

  Larger than life, Father Zack had a full head of gray hair as well as a bushy gray beard. Today he wore one of his favorite tie-dye shirts over a pair of jeans and running shoes.

  He was a great boss. If you were good at your job, he pretty much left you alone to do it.

  The youth of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church loved him.

  “Happy to do it. What’s up?” Beth’s stomach might as well have been filled with a flock of hummingbirds, their long, pointy, beaky things poking her. Confession might be good for the soul but it was hell on the gut.

  “The twenty-first is the International Day of Peace. I think we need to make sure all the music is about bringing about peace next Sunday.”

  Beth sighed inwardly. The choir was so going to bitch about music changes they hadn’t practiced. “No problem. Do you have any songs in mind?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Father Zack opened a file on his desk, took a paper out of it then handed her the paper. “Everyone should
know these.”

  Of course they did. Every single one of them was a hippie cliché. She grimaced inside.

  Father Zack hadn’t quite left the sixties behind.

  Could have an up side. Maybe the choir would keep quiet for once and not complain about having to learn new music. “I’m sure there’ll be no problem.”

  “Great.” He leaned forward on the desk, planted his elbows on top of it. “I really appreciate your flexibility about the music. I know it’s a problem that I’m so last minute.”

  “Well, that was true, but, I knew the twenty-first is world peace day. I should have been on the ball.”

  Zack studied her. “You okay?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m nowhere near okay.”

  “Want to tell ol’ Father Zack about it?”

  “No, not really.” She met his gaze. “But I need some advice.”

  “Shoot.”

  Beth told him the whole story. He listened and didn’t say a word until she finished.

  “Lucy, you got some ’splainin’ to do.” Father Zack picked up his pen and drummed it on his desk blotter.

  She hung her head. “I have to tell Danny and Jeff, but I just don’t know how to do it.”

  “Here’s an idea. You just sit face-to-face with them and tell them the truth.”

  “Easier said than done,” Beth muttered.

  “Duh.”

  A laugh tickled the back of her throat. “Seriously. What do I do? How do I do it without making them hate me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Plus, how do I share my child with Katie? Oh, God.” Beth wrapped her arms around her middle. “I can’t do it.”

  Zack waited until she had calmed herself. She appreciated that about him.

  “Cross that bridge when you come to it,” Father Zack advised.

  “I’ve lied to everyone in town. How do I come back from that?”

  “I don’t know. I guess it’s uncharted territory.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’ve got my faith in you.

  She wished she had that same faith. “From your mouth to God’s ears, Father.” She made the sign of the cross. “From your mouth to God’s ears.”

  Chapter Six

  Jeff took a deep breath as he stood outside the Happy Thoughts door. He needed to know once and for all if the Beth who worked here was his Beth. He grabbed the door handle and pushed his way in.

  The little blonde Tinkerbelle clone stood behind the cash register. He barely noticed her. His gaze focused on the slender dark haired woman putting cards of buttons on a display. “Beth.”

  She turned at the sound of his voice, blue eyes wide, rose-colored lips open. She’d been a pretty girl ten years ago, but the woman standing in front of him was beautiful. She still wore her long brown hair up in a ponytail. He remembered slipping off the elastic so he could run his fingers through the soft silky strands.

  His heart clanged like a church bell on Christmas Eve. Beth. His Beth.

  “I knew it was you,” he whispered.

  “Jeff.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “Long time, no see.”

  He crossed to her and wrapped her in his arms. Inhaling deeply, he rested his cheek on the top of her head. “You just disappeared. Where did you go?”

  Beth pulled away and took a step back. “All over. My father didn’t let us stay in one place very long.” She hesitated. “He’s dead now. My father. My mother, too.”

  He grabbed her hands. “What about the baby?”

  Beth looked at the floor. It was several heartbeats before she looked up. “A girl. We made sure she went to a good home.”

  The blonde behind the counter coughed like she was hacking up a lung. “Excuse me.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’ve always had this dream that…well, never mind. It must have hurt.”

  “My father didn’t give me much choice.”

  He nodded. “Listen, can I take you out to dinner sometime?” He just blurted it out.

  A glacier of ice slid across Beth’s gaze. “Will your wife be joining us?”

  Damn. “You know about me and Katie?”

  “I found out, yes. How dare you ask me out while you’re married to…her?”

  Didn’t take an advanced degree in physics to figure out Beth had some hard feelings about that. “Katie and I got divorced a year ago. She still lives in Addington.” He fought the urge to touch her since it looked like she didn’t want him to. “With our daughter Cookie.”

  “You have a daughter with Katie?”

  “Yes. She’s the light of my life.” A thought blinked across his brain as his stomach clenched. “Are you married?”

  “No.”

  “Dating?”

  “Look, Jeff, I don’t think dinner would be a good idea. There’s no point in rehashing the past.”

  “Then we can talk about the now. I can’t believe both of us ended up back here. I’m coaching football at the high school. I’ve got to call Coach Mike and Mrs. Coach and tell them I found you.”

  She raised one eyebrow. “Mrs. Coach?”

  “You don’t know? Of course you don’t. Mike married Andi Nelson. Well, she’s Andi Kelly now. We kind of got into the habit of calling her Mrs. Coach. She really took your leaving hard.”

  Beth brought a hand to her mouth. “I miss her so much. Are they happy?”

  Jeff wished she’d missed him, too. “Deliriously. Come on, Bethy. Come to dinner with me. I’ll catch you up with all the news.” He didn’t care if he had to beg. “Please.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think so, Jeff.”

  “I’m going to keep after you, you know. I’m pretty stubborn when it comes to getting what I want.”

  “The answer’s not going to change. I’m sorry.”

  He grinned. “We’ll just have to see about that.” Though it was difficult to do, he turned around and left the store. But he’d be back. He didn’t give up without a fight

  ****

  “Oh my everlovin’ God! How could you say no to hunka-hunka burnin’ love there?” Jenna fanned herself.

  Beth braced herself against the button display because her legs didn’t want to work any more. All her circuits had fried. “I can’t breathe.”

  “I know the feeling.” Jenna came out from behind the counter and pulled Beth into a little gold brocade covered chair. “Why won’t you go to dinner with him?”

  “I can’t! Not until I figure out how to tell him about Danny. And he has a daughter with Katie, a daughter who is the light of his freaking life. How could he?”

  “At least Skankarella is now his ex-wife,” Jenna pointed out.

  “He still married her! And had a child with her!” She’d stopped trembling and could breathe again.

  “Go to dinner with him and ask.”

  “That would be so humiliating. No way. It’s best I stay away from him.

  “I’d do it sooner rather than later, especially since Danny’s on his football team.” She folded her arms over her chest. “That whopper you told about having a baby girl and giving her up for adoption wasn’t your finest moment.”

  “He hadn’t told me he and Katie were divorced at that point.”

  Jenna shot her a pointed glance.

  Beth’s shoulders slumped. “I know, I know. I let jealousy get the better of me.”

  Jenna squeezed her shoulder. “Let’s get back to work.” She winked. “Those button cards won’t go on display by themselves.”

  Beth nodded, thankful for the busy work. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She had to admit Jeff still had a hold on her. Just being in the same room with him made her heart race like Secretariat. God, what a mess!

  Chapter Seven

  “Mom, can we go to Shucker’s Booktique to look for the new Adventures of The Refractor comic?”

  Beth stopped stirring pancake batter to look at Danny. “Sure thing, baby. I need to pick up the latest Scarlette LaFlamme novel.”

  He pretended to gag.

 
“Hey, I like romance novels. I don’t make fun of The Refractor.”

  “That’s because The Refractor’s totally dope!”

  Beth and Danny loved Saturdays. They slept in and she made him pancakes and spent the day with him doing whatever he wanted.

  That would change in a couple of weekends when the Junior Sharks had their first football game, which she’d still had to figure out a good reason to miss.

  Danny’s grin was worth a million bucks. Beth wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. She hated making him sad, which she would if she didn’t go to the game. That’s all there was to it.

  In the meantime, “Go wash your hands. Pancakes are up in a minute.”

  “Thanks, Mom!” He ran off.

  She couldn’t ignore the reality waiting down the line. She had to come clean. Which meant Katie would be in Danny’s life. She didn’t trust Skanky Katie with Danny.

  With anything.

  End of story.

  Jeff was still an unknown factor. Would he favor his daughter over Danny? She had no freaking idea. She hadn’t slept in what felt like forever. She’d spent the past couple nights sitting in his bedroom watching her boy sleep.

  The aroma of scorched chocolate chips pulled her back into Saturday morning. She dumped the ruined pancakes into the sink. After that she opened the oven warming the other pancakes. “Danny! Pancakes are up.”

  She smiled as he ran into the kitchen.

  “Mom, you’re the best!” He hopped onto a chair. “I love you.”

  Beth sat in the chair across from Danny. “I love you, baby boy. So much.”

  He looked up and grinned, his mouth full of chocolate chip pancakes. “I love you this much!” He spread his hands apart as far as they could go.

  Oh, her boy. Her beautiful, lovely boy whose world was about to be blown apart. “I love you, more. “Across all dimensions.”

  The promise Dr. Pierce Powers and Princess Arabella gave to each other, teammates to The Refractor, the most awesome of the awesomest super-heroes.

  Danny attacked another pancake, squirting Bosco all over it. He over-shot and got some on the table. “Thanks for letting me join the football team. Coach Myers is so cool!”