Dax

by Shannyn Leah

  “What are they, Momma?” Olivia glanced at the tickets. “We’re eating at the fire station? Yes!”

  Dax shared in her excitement. The fundraiser meals at the station were always a buffet of delicious food. However, Ava and Dax said a contradicting “yes” and “no” that left Olivia standing between them looking back and forth.

  “Hey guys!” Hawk slapped Dax’s shoulder. “You guys coming to eat?”

  “Please, Momma?” Olivia said.

  “Why don’t you go in with Hawk,” Dax suggested.

  “Okay. I’ll save you guys a seat.”

  Hawk picked Olivia up and set her on his shoulders before walking inside the station.

  “What are you doing?” Ava asked.

  “You haven’t been back to the station since Dad died.”

  “And you have?”

  “Ava, I’m a fire fighter. I respond to the calls.”

  Her face twisted in horror. “Rowdy hasn’t been dead one month.”

  “And my dad wasn’t a quitter.”

  “That’s not true. Don’t tell me he didn’t step away from this when your mom died.”

  “He wouldn’t want me to do the same. Or you. He wasn’t proud that he’d gotten so lost, and distant. I sure as hell am not hiding like he did.”

  “That’s your choice. But don’t force this on me.”

  “I’m not forcing.”

  She waved the tickets in front of him.

  “I’m offering to be here with you, to help you take the first steps if you want to.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “I will go grab Olivia and we can eat at the beach. It’s your call. But remember, Ava, your family is in there. All the people who stayed with you waiting for Rowdy to return from runs. The women who comforted you and you them. They all care about you and they are all just beyond those doors. The only person you’re hurting by staying away is yourself.”

  “Maybe I can protect Olivia.”

  “Or maybe sheltering her will make her want something you won’t approve of more. We don’t know. But right now, we know she’s in there with people she grew up with and she feels good. Happy.”

  He sure knew this family was here for him when his mother died and his dad disappeared for a bit. They helped him through it all. Without them, he didn’t know what he would have become.

  “Are you sure you aren’t staying away because you’re scared?”

  “How long after his death did you stay away from here?”

  “The day after the funeral.” He wasn’t saying moving on was easy, it hadn’t been and he sure as hell wasn’t over the loss of his dad. Not even close. Walking into the station had been as difficult as walking into the shop—both places he’d seen his dad multiple times a day. Even now, he found himself staring out his office windows for sometimes as long as a half hour, as if waiting for his dad to walk through the office door. The fact he never would again always tilted his day. Some of those days he needed to get out of the building that seemed to suffocate him. Other days, he worked through it. Both ways were damn hard, but he dealt with it because what choice did he have?

  “That fast?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow.” Her eyes dropped to her boots on the sidewalk.

  “But I’ve always faced things straight on. Every stop, corner, big or small, I’ve lunged forward.” He lifted her chin with his finger and gave her a shy grin. “Except you.”

  She let out a humourless laugh. “Really?”

  “We aren’t the same person. Your caution is part of what I love about you. I plunge but you think about the consequences. Have you considered the long, long term consequences of walking away from what you’ve built with these people?’

  She wrung her hands in front of her, glancing at the door and then back at Dax. Inhaling the cool evening air she said, “Thank you.”

  He held out his hand and she grabbed it. “You’re welcome. If it’s too much, give me a sign and we’ll leave.”

  She nodded.

  One step at a time, one day at a time, and every single stage he wanted to do it with her.

  ~

  TO DAX’S SURPRISE and gratification, they’d stayed at the station until the end of the fundraiser meal and even helped with clean-up. He couldn’t have asked for a better turn out for forcing her back into the hard memories.

  Olivia had played with the other kids, while Ava washed dishes in the kitchen and Dax helped load the tables and chairs back into a trailer to deliver back to town hall. When they finished, he walked the two smiling girls back to Ava’s car and listened to their stories of the night before following them back to the house in his car.

  “She’s sleeping,” Ava whispered, climbing out of her car and pulling her denim jacket tighter around herself. “That was the most activity we’ve had in a while.”

  Dax stopped beside her, noticing her smile. “And how did it feel?”

  “It felt good. Thank you.”

  “No need to thank me. Go unlock the door and I’ll grab her.”

  “Okay.” She ran to the house and Dax picked the sleeping girl out of the car. How was it possible that this girl had fallen sound asleep in less than a five-minute drive? She didn’t even budge as he kicked his boots off and carried her up the stairs. She didn’t blink an eye as he laid her down on the bed and Ava pulled the covers over her. Nothing.

  Back downstairs, Dax slipped his boots back on and Ava stopped by the front door to see him out.

  “I think you’re winning me over, Colyn.”

  He leaned his side against the door frame and folded his arms across his chest. “Really?”

  She nodded.

  “Are you almost ready for the next step?”

  She grinned at him. “Almost.”

  He straightened and loudly laughed. “You’re a tease.”

  “You like it.”

  He leaned down and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear, “Maybe.”

  As he moved away, he was surprised for the third time this night, when Ava’s mouth captured his for a long overdue kiss. Shit, he missed the touch of this woman. But the kiss ended short, much shorter than he would have liked. She stepped back, her fingers lingering where his lips had just been.

  “Goodnight, Dax.”

  He shook his head. Damn tease. “Goodnight, Ava.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ~

  THE DAY STARTED OUT LIKE any ordinary day for Ava. She woke up, brushed her teeth, jumped in the shower before making breakfast and driving Olivia to school. Only two differences stuck in her mind, one more than the other. First, it was the beginning of October which meant pumpkin spice everything and she absolutely could not wait. Second, it was four weeks later, to the day. Today was the day Dax had decided enough time had properly passed to sort out his tangled emotions.

  It was crazy. He was crazy. Heck, she felt a little crazy lately, which was reason enough to postpone his “four week” arrangement.

  Luckily, today she didn’t have to worry about Dax. It wasn’t Friday movie night or Sunday barbecue, which was inside now more often than not. It was just an ordinary, no special day that Ava planned on spending quietly alone with her daughter. Well, her daughter and a delicious smelling, freshly baked pumpkin spice cake from Mrs. Calvert’s Bakery. And pizza. Who wanted to cook on a non-celebrating day?

  As they rounded the corner of their street now in their car, Olivia’s excitement escaladed. “Look, Mom! Uncle Dax is at our house. See? His truck is right there on the side of the road.”

  So much for a night of non-celebrating.

  She sent her daughter a small smile, nodding in the rear view mirror as Olivia wildly pointed at Dax’s truck.

  His vehicle hadn’t been the only one she’d noticed. A moving truck with a bright orange logo was parked in the driveway. Ava watched as Stone and Hawk walked down the ramp carrying a black leather sofa.

  “Is Dax here to eat pizza and cake with us?”

  Ava’s
smile tightened into a firm, thin-lipped, ready-to-scream line. “We can ask.”

  She parked on the side of the road, grabbed the pizza and cake from the passenger’s side as Olivia’s small legs ran across the front yard. Slamming the car door shut with extra force, Ava walked up the path contemplating the possibilities of Dax’s new strategy.

  Suitcases propped open the front door, but to her surprise and relief, she found no extra couch cluttered in the living room. However, the mountain of boxes piled throughout the first floor looked like towering castle walls.

  She’d caught up to her daughter who had skidded to a halt at the sight. She cautiously said, “Dax?”

  He popped up from behind a box pile, startling Ava and sending the cake box sliding to the edge of the pizza box. She turned her attention away from ogling how sexy he looked in his backwards baseball cap and his muscles pressing the material of one of his tight T-shirts to the limits. She feigned up-righting her handful.

  “Hey, there are my two favorite girls.” His charming smile immediately won over her daughter. Who was she kidding? His presence won her over, too.

  “Are you here to have cake and pizza? It’s a pumpkin spice cake because it’s the first of October.”

  “Pizza sounds good.” Stone stopped to high-five Olivia.

  “Yes!” Olivia said, bouncing up for the hand slam. “I’m going to change.” She pulled at the hem of her dress, making a face, and skipped up the staircase. When had her daughter decided she didn’t like wearing dresses?

  With a disapproving glance at the single pizza in Ava’s arm, Stone pulled out his cell phone. “I’m going to order a few more.” He nodded at them and turned toward the front door, finally giving Ava a chance to figure out what was going on.

  “What are you doing?”

  A huge grin split Dax’s lips. “I’m upgrading this box my father called a television.” He kicked Rowdy’s old-school box television sitting at his feet. “With this…” He walked to the dining room and Ava numbly followed behind, making it a point not to let her glance fall downwards. He stopped and her eyes widened at the huge flat screen TV covering the entire table.

  “Why?”

  His eyebrows perched. “Because Dad was stuck in the seventies and it’s the twenty-first century. My television has everything.”

  “Your television?”

  He nodded.

  She shifted the box of pizza on her hip. “Again, I ask, what are you doing?”

  “Moving in.”

  “Kicking us out?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t say in four weeks I was kicking you out. I said I’d give you four weeks before I claimed you for my future.”

  Ava pointed at the boxes. “Dax, pack it up and move back to your condo.” She turned on her heel toward the kitchen.

  “I sold my condo.”

  She spun around. “You did what?”

  “I don’t want it. I don’t want to live there anymore.”

  She let out a humourless laugh. “You’re crazy. You can’t just move in.”

  “Technically, this house is half mine and half Olivia’s.”

  Ava sucked in her lips, turned and continued to the kitchen before she said something she’d regret. Stepping in to what she hoped would be privacy to breathe, she skidded to a stop at the sight of Wanda standing behind an ironing board, puffs of smoke and noises coming from the iron as it pressed against black material.

  “What are you doing?” Ava’s eyes skirted from Wanda to the piles of pressed clothes on the table to the open box on the floor.

  She set her iron upwards on the board and began repositioning the shirt. “Ironing.”

  “Why are you ironing in my kitchen?”

  “That boy tossed all his clothes in boxes. No folding or rolling, or even a flat layer. No, he balled them up like baseballs and tossed them in. Now they’re wrinkled like a tornado flung them around the town.”

  “You’re ironing Dax’s clothes?”

  The older woman nodded, head down, and continued with her strokes, humming a little tune.

  Ava finally set the pizza and cake on the counter and faced Wanda. “He can iron his own clothes in his own house.”

  “This is my house.” Dax breezed by her, opening the pizza box.

  Ava swatted his hand away, replacing the lid. “Technically, half the house is on Wanda’s side, so since she’s so good at playing Molly Maid, how about you go move in with her.”

  A light chuckle wafted from Wanda, drawing Ava’s eyes in her direction. “I’m already moved into the staff headquarters of the house.”

  Ava shot her a look. “Pardon?”

  “Isn’t it cute the way her ‘pardon’ is only half curiosity and the rest scolding?” She caught Dax’s finger moving toward her nose and she slapped his hand away before he made contact.

  “I’ve been downsizing for weeks,” Wanda continued. “Ever since Dax told me he wanted to open the house to its original state, larger—for a bigger family.” She winked at Dax and he beamed liked one of Ava’s students getting an A. “After a wedding, of course.” Wanda turned her attention to back folding Dax’s ironed clothes.

  Ava didn’t share their enthusiasm. Her stomach twisted at the thought of more kids. Kids with Dax. Marriage. Remodeling the house into a home. Everything had her mind whirling. What exactly had he said to Wanda? To the rest of them? What would the town think? What about her daughter? It was all happening too fast. Didn’t she have any say?

  Ava glared at Dax. “Can I talk to you alone?”

  He nodded. “Pantry?” he whispered, sending tingles of desire that conflicted with her good sense.

  “I would say the staff headquarters, but it looks like you’ve already gone and given it away.” She hadn’t even known a staff living area existed.

  ~

  DAX COULD EASILY envision the house being transformed back to its original state. Walking into the living room now, he pictured the wall torn down between the two units, the double staircase opened to the upper floor where daylight from the large windows would brighten the foyer.

  He’d visited Wanda’s side to inspect the existing original areas and had been pleased to find the cast iron railing matched his dad’s side and the ornate ceiling molding remained intact. A few minor places would need repairing where he would tear out walls, but, all in all, it would be easy enough. Except the updated kitchen on Wanda’s side, which he planned to tear out completely and combine it with Ava’s to enlarge it to the original kitchen size. He felt confident about the changes and looked forward to the next few months of renovations. If he stayed focused, he planned to have it all completed before Christmas. November would be ideal. But right now, he had a fuming Ava to deal with.

  “How could you decide all this without telling me?” Her wide eyes flared as her hands swept over the boxes.

  “I told you—”

  “Claiming some prize and moving in are two completely different things.”

  He shrugged. “They overlap in my book.” What did she think he’d meant by his promise? That he’d court her for the next few years and then maybe move in? Hell no. He wasn’t wasting any more of his life cautiously stepping around what he knew was the right decision. Besides, she’d said she was almost ready for the next step. Well, this was the next step.

  “You’ve dropped your book a few too many times and have the pages mixed up.”

  “Ava, this is a huge house—”

  “Because you’ve kicked Wanda out!”

  “He didn’t kick me out!” Wanda called from the kitchen.

  Dax grinned. “See, I didn’t kick her out.”

  Ava stepped closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. “You didn’t mention it to me, you didn’t ask, and now I’m being forced to smile and pretend everything’s alright.”

  He stepped closer and watched her quick inhale. “Everything is alright. I’ve never felt like a decision I’ve made has been as right as this one.”

  “Maybe
I’m not ready. Maybe my decision to give you space was really because I needed space.”

  He thought about that for a moment, realizing he hadn’t considered her side of the equation. He’d assumed all she needed was him to prove she was the only woman for him. It was possible he’d gone about this wrong. But maybe she would have to give him credit for undertaking such a large task when this was the first serious relationship he’d ever been in.

  “Did you need time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this is a big decision.”

  “The right decision.”

  “Push all the rights and wrongs aside, and what do you have left? You and me. Where is the us in this decision, Dax? There is no us. It’s your macho, egotistical…whatever…making one decision. Move in. Don’t move in. Apparently I have no say in any possibility of an us, but you are not jumping into my bed. You don’t get to decide that alone. You don’t get to take away my freedom and back me into a corner with no alternative!”

  The humor and fun of surprising her drained from him. “Ava, I didn’t mean to make you feel cornered.” He reached for her but she pulled away, her hands shaking. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I should have discussed my move with you first.”

  She took another few steps back, the features of her face looking haunted by whatever had fueled her outbreak. He sure as hell didn’t believe for one second it was because of him though. There was something going on inside her head he hadn’t prepared for.

  “I’m going to have a shower before supper. Can you ask Wanda to watch Olivia?”

  “Of course.” He noticed how she didn’t ask him to watch Olivia, but that seemed to be the least of his worries. He heard her bedroom door shut and he saw Stone and Hawk standing in the front doorway with arms loaded full of boxes. Their reluctance and knowing looks said they’d heard the conversation. So had he. Loud and clear. There was something underneath the surface keeping her from committing to him. A fear of her past? It sure as hell wasn’t his indecision. He’d give her space to sort it out, or help her reach that point.