Fidelity - SF6

by Meagher, Susan X

  "What does Ryan think about this?" he asked, almost casually, as the server delivered their meal.

  Jamie waited until they were alone, then spent a few moments arranging her BLT to her satisfaction, intentionally keeping her father waiting. "She’s in favor of it, of course. I wouldn’t make a decision like this without her support."

  He waited her out this time, making his next comment when she took the first bite of her sandwich. "I received a very interesting call from Tuck Gray this week. He tells me that you and Ryan were at his office interrogating him about your trust." His smile was still affixed to his face, and a casual observer would not see the rancor behind those words. But Jamie knew him well, and she recognized the tone all too well.

  "If taking an interest in my finances and asking my own trust officer for clarification on certain items should be called ‘interrogating’, then he’s absolutely correct," she smiled disingenuously.

  "Look Jamie," he said, giving her an intense stare. We’re both concerned about the level of trust you’re bestowing on Ryan."

  "I thought you were supposed to trust your spouse," she said quietly.

  "Jamie," he began in a derisive tone, but when he saw the look on her face he softened his reply. "I understand that you believe this is your last love, but I beg you to go slow with this. The choices you make now will have a long-lasting effect, Honey. Please don’t be so rash!"

  She could tell that he was being completely sincere but she could not let this point pass without comment. "Daddy, I want you to be able to tell me whatever is on your mind, but I have to do the same. I love Ryan, and I swear this is not some fling. The first time I kissed her, it was like the pieces of my life snapped together like an intricate puzzle. She completes me, Daddy, and I love her more than I can express. Please don’t belittle my feelings."

  "I swear that I am not trying to belittle you, Jamie. But I can’t stand by and let her influence you like she has been doing. Tuck told me how she interrogated him about your trust! Can’t you see what is going on?"

  "Yes, I can," she said with a simmering fire in her eyes. "You’ve decided that you don’t trust her, and my opinion is not as valid as your gut instinct!"

  "Jamie, that is not true! I trust you, but you’re 21 years old! You haven’t been exposed to the types of things that I have. I only say this because I love you, Honey, but I believe that Ryan is trying to take advantage of you."

  "That’s not acceptable, Daddy," she said firmly as she stood to leave. "I can’t let you insult her like that."

  "Jamie, Jamie, I’m sorry," he said as he got to his feet and placed a gently restraining hand on her arm. "I admit that I don’t know her well, but it just looks terribly suspicious."

  "You could take my word for it," she snapped.

  "I know, I know, Honey," he soothed. "But this is incredibly hard for me, Jamie. Can’t you at least try to see things from my perspective?"

  She sat down again, glancing around the room at the members at the other tables, all trying to look like they were not staring. It took her a moment, but she tried to have some empathy for her father’s feelings. "I’m not hungry, and it doesn’t look like you are either. Let’s go outside and talk about this without an audience, okay?"

  He nodded gratefully, signaling their server for the tab and signing it immediately when it was presented. They walked outside and took seats by the swimming pool, waving off the attendant who scampered out to see if they wished to order.

  "Can we start over?" she asked after a few minutes of silence. "Yelling at each other is not very productive."

  "I’d like that," he said gratefully. He stared at her for a moment, and admitted, "Few things upset me more than arguing with you, Jamie. It feels like a physical assault." He dropped his head slightly. "You won’t understand this until you have children of your own, but this honestly tears me up inside." He looked more vulnerable than she had ever seen him, and her heart immediately went out to him.

  "I do understand, Daddy. I hate this too! It just doesn’t have to be this way. All I’m asking is that you honor my decisions!"

  Looking up slowly he reminded her, "All I’m asking is that you slow down in making them, but it appears that neither of us wants to give in."

  Shaking her head slowly, she said, "I can’t for the life of me figure out why you distrust Ryan so much. I know that my being in a lesbian relationship is hard for you to adjust to, but other than the fact that she’s a woman, I would think you’d be overjoyed that we were together."

  He cocked his head, encouraging her to go on.

  "She’s so mature, Daddy, and she really encourages me to have a relationship with you and Mother. She understands that you feel uncertain about her, and she doesn’t try to cut you down because of it. But the biggest reason is that she makes me so happy, Daddy. If you really love me, don’t you want me to be with the person who best fulfills my needs?"

  "Yes, of course I do, Jamie…" he began.

  She cut him off quickly, insisting, "I’m the only one who knows what I need and what I want, Daddy. Only I can judge who makes me happy. And I swear–Ryan is the one. There isn’t a doubt in my mind."

  "Jamie," he said fondly, patting her hand, "I know that you believe that. But it was just over a year ago that we had a similar discussion about Jack. As much as your mother and I liked him, neither of us thought it was wise for you to get engaged at such a young age. Do you remember what you told me then?"

  Hanging her head she recalled the conversation, and her insistence that Jack was the love of her life. "I don’t know how to convince you of this, Daddy, but Ryan has opened a whole new world for me. At that point, Jack was the love of my life–and I could have been moderately happy if I had married him. But life with Jack would have been monochromatic. With Ryan, it’s like I see the world through a kaleidoscope of colors. The difference is so huge as to be unbelievable, Daddy."

  Realizing that he was getting nowhere fast, Jim took another avenue. "I realize there is no way to convince you to take it slow with Ryan, Jamie, so let’s just leave that issue. My problem is, and always has been, that no matter her gender, she has you asking questions and making decisions that just don’t sound like you. That is what has me worried!"

  "Daddy, I’m just growing up! It makes total sense that I want more of a say in my finances."

  "Jamie, you were completely uninterested in your trust when you were with Jack. How can I not wonder about the change, when your interest coincides with Ryan’s arrival on the scene? All of a sudden you need a bigger car, you need a copy of your trust agreement, you try to have her granted the ability to make distributions from your trust. Don’t you see how bad that looks?"

  She waited a long while to answer his question, even though it was most likely rhetorical. "It only looks bad if you don’t trust either of us," she murmured, unable to look up at him.

  "I don’t trust her, Jamie, I’ll admit that freely. She is going to have to earn my trust, and so far, she has done a poor job of that. I do trust you, but I still feel that she’s exerting undue influence on you. I will consider your request for the distribution, but I seriously doubt that I’ll grant it at this time."

  "I already spoke to Mother about it…" she began.

  "Your mother doesn’t look at these matters from a business perspective, Jamie. As you know, either of us can veto a distribution, and at this point my vote is ‘no’. That’s not an irrevocable decision, but I’m going to need much more convincing evidence before I decide to make a payment."

  "Even though it’s money from Mother’s family," Jamie muttered, hitting a nerve.

  Narrowing his eyes, Jim gave his daughter a glare that nearly caused her to gasp. "There was obviously a reason that your grandfather gave me veto power, Jamie. If he had trusted your mother’s judgment, he likely would not have done so, would he?"

  "Funny how you inherited that trait from him, even though he wasn’t your father," Jamie snapped, pushing her chair back roughly and
stalking out of the pool enclosure.

  Ryan was sitting at her computer responding to her e-mail when she heard Jamie’s tread on the stairs. Swiveling around in her chair, her bright smile fell when she saw the look on her partner’s face. Most people would have only seen the anger sparking in the bright green eyes, or noticed the grim set of her mouth, but Ryan knew that just beneath the angry appearance was a very sad young woman. One concerned look from Ryan brought the sadness to the fore, and without a word Jamie fell into her embrace and finally allowed the tears to flow.

  Ryan didn’t ask what was bothering her, knowing that Jamie was in no position to speak right then. She adroitly maneuvered her to the bed, where they snuggled together, with Jamie holding on rather desperately. She wasn’t crying all that hard, but she certainly didn’t seem very verbally expressive, so Ryan continued to provide the physical comfort that Jamie was soaking up like a sponge.

  Her first words came as if in response to her partner’s unposed query. "I hate to be treated like a child," she finally said, confirming Ryan’s suspicions.

  She knew of Jamie’s plans to speak to her father about the distribution, and she had tried to gently dissuade her partner from bringing it up quite yet. But dissuading Jamie from her intended path was easier said than done, and Ryan desperately wished she had not been right about her predictions regarding Jim’s reaction. But now her concern was for her lover’s injured feelings, not about who had been right or wrong. "What happened, Babe?"

  Jamie rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed, grabbing some tissues to dry her eyes. "Oh, the usual," she said bitterly. "He’s in charge…he doesn’t think I know what I’m doing…"

  She looked like she was going to say more, but she stopped herself, shaking her head angrily. Ryan knew what she was holding back. She looked at Jamie with compassion and asked, "He thinks I’m behind this, doesn’t he?"

  Jamie nodded slightly, a few more tears falling when she saw the understanding in Ryan’s eyes. "I just don’t get it, Ryan. He’s spent time with us…he sees how you are, and how we are together. I honestly thought that once he got to know you…" She wiped at her eyes viciously, angry with herself for crying about this.

  "We knew this was going to take some time, Love. I think we need to be more patient," Ryan said softly, reaching out to pull her partner against her chest. This was a recurrent discussion, and Ryan knew that it was one that her partner did not want to hear, especially not right now.

  "I shouldn’t have to be patient," she pouted, looking like an adorable little tow-headed child. "He should trust me, Ryan. Even though he doesn’t know you well, he knows me! My word should stand for something, shouldn’t it?"

  "Of course it should," Ryan agreed, nuzzling her head against Jamie’s neck in a move that usually relaxed her. "I really believe that over time, it will. I mean, look at how good things are going with your mom. He’s going to realize that he’s outnumbered eventually…and it’s not like you need the money right now, right?"

  Her warm, calm voice was slowly relaxing Jamie, and she felt some of the tension start to leave her body. She slumped heavily against her partner, enormously happy that she had her in her life. "No, I don’t need it now," she agreed. "It just upsets me more than I can even say, Ryan. Being autonomous is very, very important to me, and it irks me every time I have to go to him or Tuck to get money for something."

  "I can understand that, Honey. It would drive me wild to ask Da for money, so I really get why it bothers you. But being upset about it and butting heads with your father isn’t going to make the problem go away. I’m afraid that it will actually exacerbate it over the long term, and I know you don’t want that. Let’s just keep the status quo for a while. We can spend the time learning more about investments and money management, and when you do get the distribution we’ll know what we want to do with it." Leaning her head around so that she could see Jamie’s eyes she asked, "Deal?"

  The blonde head reluctantly nodded, her pursed lips not allowing for a smile, but Ryan was satisfied with her agreement, even though it wasn’t enthusiastic. Thinking it would be wise to get Jamie’s mind off of her encounter with her dad, Ryan sought a diversion. "It’s one o’clock," she announced. "We’ve got the whole afternoon and evening to ourselves. How do you want to spend it?"

  Jamie considered the soft breast on which her cheek rested and felt some of her stress drain away. "Gosh," she said innocently, nestling and nuzzling, "the symphony is in town. We could go hear some Chopin concertos. There are a couple of new movies out that I’d like to catch…Maybe a visit to the park?" As she offered this suggestion, she turned around and started to undo the buttons of Ryan’s chambray shirt, a little grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. "We could probably get a reservation to tour Alcatraz…Have you ever been?" The shirt was pushed off Ryan’s shoulders and tossed aside, then Jamie reached behind her and unhooked her bra.

  Even though the day was warm, there was a chill in the room, and as Ryan’s clothes fell, goose bumps covered her body, slowly traveling across the expanse of skin until her nipples became rock-hard. Both women watched the transformation of the deep pink skin, their eyes glued to the small points. Swallowing audibly, Ryan tried to continue their conversation. "Uh-huh," she murmured. "I went to Alcatraz with my class in grammar school." She swallowed again, realizing that her mouth was bone-dry. "Given those choices, I think I’ll take the symphony," she decided, whisking Jamie’s polo shirt away. "I’ve never been, you know."

  "Really?" Jamie asked lazily, as she watched her bra being removed and felt Ryan’s warm breasts rub against her own. "What were you saying, Love?"

  "I was saying," Ryan purred, lowering her lover to the mattress to efficiently remove her shorts, "that I’ve never been to the symphony."

  "What an odd thing to bring up now," Jamie breathed. "Does your mind often wander like this while we’re making love?"

  "Is that what we’re doing?" Ryan asked, as her mouth traveled slowly down the center of Jamie’s body. "I thought we were going to the symphony."

  "You can call it that if you want to," Jamie allowed. "I suppose that’s as good a term as any, since you always make me hear the most beautiful music when we make love."

  Smiling seductively, Ryan sang a few bars of music from her extensive mental catalogue. "Whenever you’re near me, I hear a symphony…"

  A few hours later, Jamie was lying on her back with Ryan’s head resting on her chest. She repeatedly ran her fingers through the dark hair, pulling a handful of strands up and letting them slowly fall back down. "I love your hair this length," she said as she continued to play with the shiny locks. "It actually allows me to play with it more than I could before. It’s so thick and heavy that it just glides through my hands."

  Somewhat remarkably, they had not yet technically had sex, but they had been making love for hours. They were both sad about their imminent separation, and it seemed that prolonged touching of each other and talking were more reassuring than the rush of sexual desire that usually overtook them when they were intimate like this.

  Ryan lazily rolled her head from side to side to allow her lover full access. "I could honestly lie here and let you play with my hair for the rest of the day. It almost puts me in a trance to have you run your hands through it so rhythmically."

  "What’s most relaxing for you? Head rubs, backrubs?"

  She thought about that question for a while, going over the merits of each style of pampering. "I think a really good foot massage works best," she said decisively.

  "Really? I would have bet that your head would win."

  "Well, to be honest, it’s almost a tie. Both head rubs and foot rubs can put me to sleep. I just prefer to have my feet rubbed since I have a foot fetish," she said with a leer. "How about you?"

  "I don’t know. I love to have my back rubbed, but it certainly doesn’t relax me," she said with a chuckle, remembering how nearly every backrub Ryan had ever given her had evolved into sex. "I suppose a he
ad rub is the most relaxing for me, although I’ve never had you rub any part that wasn’t enjoyable."

  "Why don’t you let me rub your back for a while? Dinner isn’t for another hour..."

  "Oh, gosh, Ryan, I don’t know..." she said as she picked up her lover’s head and turned over quickly. She was spread out and waiting for the ministrations to begin by the time her sentence was finished.

  "I always have to talk you into everything," she teased as she reached into her bedside table for the massage lotion. She climbed onto Jamie’s upper thighs to begin the massage, and within moments Jamie was humming with pleasure. Ryan got so totally focused on the massage that she failed to notice when her lover peacefully fell asleep, until the heavy, rhythmic breathing caught her attention. She slid off her hips and snuggled down next to her, chuckling to herself. Backrubs don’t relax you, huh? Good thing I love snuggling as much as making love, Ryan thought with a smirk as she nodded off minutes later.

  Part 2

  As soon as the kitchen was cleaned from dinner, Ryan got a fiery look in her eye and literally chased Jamie down the stairs to their bedroom. "Don’t forget to take water with you," Conor called out as they raced past him. Ryan did a quick about-face and ran back into the kitchen to snag a bottle of Gatorade. "Thanks, Bro," she replied with a grin as she blew by him on the return trip.

  By the time she returned to their room, Jamie was already naked and waiting patiently on the bed, lying on her right side with her head supported by her braced hand. "What took you so long?" she inquired, attempting to look cross with her partner. "We don’t have a minute to waste!"

  Ryan gave her a wide grin as she hurriedly started to strip, working on the buttons of her shirt with ruthless efficiency.

  "I love the cute little face you make when you undress," Jamie murmured, her eyes fixed on Ryan’s face.

  "I wasn’t aware I made a face when I took off my clothes," Ryan said, the adorable expression becoming a little brighter.