Fidelity - SF6

by Meagher, Susan X

  Catherine laughed as she recalled, "I was just like that in college. Your father used to think it was so funny. We’d go to a party, and the next day he’d feel fine, while I’d just want to die."

  "That about sums it up," Jamie agreed, as she placed the pillow over her face again.

  "Come on, Honey. At least drink this before you go back to sleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up, guaranteed."

  Jamie decided that she’d do almost anything to end the conversation and go back to sleep, so with great difficulty she forced herself to sit up. Catherine dropped two Alka —Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and waited a moment for the cacophony to ebb before handing it to her daughter.

  Jamie stared at the glass for a long moment, trying to decide if drinking the bromide would make her vomit. She finally steeled herself and gulped it down, not stopping until the glass was drained. Handing the glass back, she sank down into the pillows again, sighing heavily. "What time is it, anyway?"

  "It’s around 11:30."

  "11:30!" she cried, her own voice sounding like it was coming through a public address system. "I never sleep that late!"

  "Well, you did today, Dear. It doesn’t matter, though. You didn’t have anything to do this morning, did you?"

  "No, but I don’t like to sleep late. It upsets my internal clock."

  "Once won’t hurt," her mother reassured her, ruffling her hair. "Now you go back to sleep. The rest of us are going out for a sail. We should be back well before dinner."

  "Oh boy," Jamie said with false enthusiasm. "Sailing sounds like fun!" She started to struggle out of the mess of sheet she was tangled in, but she quickly realized that she was naked. "Could you hand me a T-shirt from the dresser?"

  "Why on earth do you want to get up?" Catherine asked.

  "If I’m going to get that drunk, I have to punish myself somehow," Jamie said, her reasoning totally lost on her mother. "I’m going to get up and take a shower."

  Walking over to the large cherry-wood lowboy, Catherine pulled out a shirt for Jamie, bringing it over to the bed and waiting for her daughter to slip it on before helping her up. Catherine held out her arm and tried to guide Jamie to her rubbery legs, but the younger woman muttered, "Whoa," as she was forced to sit down immediately. "Dizzy."

  "I don’t think a shower is a good idea, Jamie," Catherine cautioned worriedly.

  "I’ll be okay," she reassured her. "A shower always makes me feel better."

  "You wait here. I’ll go turn it on for you." Moments later Catherine was back. She wrapped her thin arm around Jamie’s sturdy waist and guided her into the bathroom, then opened the shower door as she said, "I’m going to stay to make sure you don’t get dizzy and fall down."

  "You don’t need to do that, Mother," she reassured her. "I’m sure I’ll be fine."

  "Jamie, I’m not going to be the one to have to call Ryan and tell her I got you drunk and then let you fall in the shower and crack your head open. This is pure self-preservation," she said with a smile.

  Jamie gave her a small smile in return as she held her arms up over her head. "If you’re going to stay, you may as well help." Catherine obliged by tugging her shirt over her head, an act she had not performed in a good 18 years. She took her daughter’s arm to steady her as she stepped into the hot, steamy shower. "Oooh, this feels better," Jamie moaned, as she leaned against the wall and rested her cheek on the cool tile.

  Catherine waited patiently while Jamie steamed some of the alcohol out of her system, at one point tilting her head back and letting the stream hit her mouth just to hydrate herself. After the water was turned off, Catherine held out a fluffy white towel that Jamie accepted and wrapped around herself as she stepped out. Her mother did not appear to be leaving any time soon, so the younger woman began to rub her body dry with the towel. After a long appraising look Catherine said, "I must have been out of my mind when I criticized you last winter about how your body had changed. You really look lovely, Dear."

  "Thanks," Jamie said with a slightly embarrassed smile. "It takes a lot of work, but I really like to be strong. It just gives me more confidence."

  "I think I was needlessly worried that you’d look hard or tough if you developed your muscles. But you don’t look hard at all. You look soft and smooth and firm. It’s really quite becoming."

  "Thanks," she said wanly, knowing that she looked anything but attractive this morning.

  The shower really had helped, and with the benefit of the Alka-Seltzer Jamie was starting to feel a bit better. After slipping into her swimsuit and a loose pair of shorts and a T-shirt, Catherine helped her make her way to the pool, where she pledged to spend the entire day.

  "Hi there, sleepyhead," Ryan said as she returned her page.

  "Oooh, I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I swear I’ll never get drunk again."

  "You have said that before," Ryan agreed, her voice rather serious. "Maybe you should pay attention this time, Love."

  "Don’t lecture me, Honey. I’m not in the mood. My head feels like it’s going to split apart."

  Ryan’s concern was immediately focused on her partner’s pain. "I wish I was there to give you a good neck massage. That seems to help," she commiserated.

  "I think this pain is beyond even your talents, Love, but I wish you were here, anyway. I miss you an awful lot." After a pause she asked, "Did we…umm…talk about sex last night?"

  "Yes," Ryan drawled. "We most definitely talked about sex last night."

  "That sounds suspicious. What did I say?"

  "Oh, it wasn’t what you said as much as how you said it," Ryan laughed. "You convinced me to self-pollute," she teased, using a term one of the older nuns in her grammar school favored. "I assume you were pleasuring yourself while we talked, since you exploded in a very erotic sounding orgasm."

  "Oh God," she moaned. "I am such a slut when I drink. I have no memory of any details, Ryan. Was it fun?"

  "Yeah, it was. And since you have no memory of it, I can use the same script the next time you need a little release. So you’re saving me time and creativity."

  "Is that why my phone was dead this morning?"

  "Yeah, and you’re going to have one whopper of a phone bill. I could hear you snoring seconds after you finished."

  "Well, that sounds appealing. Your girlfriend calls you and makes you get her all hot, then she falls asleep and snores into your ear, leaving you high and dry."

  "Oh, I wasn’t dry," she laughed. "I was very far from dry. I was wet and frustrated. Still am, for that matter. Frustrated, that is," she clarified.

  "So you couldn’t…"

  "Nope." Deciding that she needed to tell Jamie about what happened, Ryan said, "Something frightened Jordan on Sunday night, Honey. I still don’t know what it was, but she was absolutely terrified. She eventually calmed down, and I let her sleep with me the rest of the night."

  There was a longish pause before Jamie asked, "Umm…what does that have to do with last night?"

  "Well, she was still freaked out, almost like she was afraid to go to sleep, and she needed a little comfort." Ryan paused for a moment and asked, "That doesn’t upset you, does it Jamie?"

  The pounding in her head nearly caused her to snap off a biting retort, but Jamie focused her energies on how forthcoming Ryan was being about this incident. "I um…I guess I’m just a little jealous," she admitted.

  "Jealous? Of Jordan? Jamie, you’ve got nothing to worry--"

  "No, Honey," Jamie interrupted. "I’m not worried that you’ll be unfaithful. I’m just jealous that she gets to sleep with you this week. I miss you so much, and it’s hard to hear that there’s someone else in my spot."

  "Oh, Jamie," Ryan murmured, "no one could ever take your place. Sleeping with Jordan was a chore, Honey. It reminded me of why I usually didn’t sleep with women I didn’t know very well. I thought I slept poorly on Saturday, but that was nothing compared to sleeping with Jordan. She’s so upset that I don’t have the heart to say n
o, but I’m praying that she feels better tonight. I am absolutely dead on my feet." As if to punctuate her point, Ryan let out a massive yawn, causing Jamie to follow suit.

  "Now you’re making me tired," she chuckled. "And Ryan, I know that no one could take my place in your heart. I just don’t like someone taking my place in your bed."

  "Especially a twin bed," Ryan intoned dramatically.

  "Now I know you didn’t enjoy the experience!" Jamie laughed. "Our king-sized bed is hardly big enough for the two of us."

  "Well," Ryan chuckled, "you and I move around a lot more than I did with Jordan."

  "Ha! You’re gonna need a seatbelt in that bed when I get home," Jamie growled, sending a shiver of delight up Ryan’s back.

  "You know that I’m going to hold you to every one of these promises, don’t you?" Ryan drawled.

  "I’m counting on it, Love. Now go take a nap before your afternoon practice."

  "Will do, Baby. I love you, Jamie. Take care of your sore little head."

  "Thanks, I will. Bye, Ryan. I’ll call you tonight."

  As Ryan hung up she retained the receiver in her hand for a long moment. Okay, Ryan, what’s your excuse now? She’s awake, she’s alone and you have an hour to spare. She shook her head as she recognized that she just did not want to have an upsetting talk with Jamie while she was being held captive in Santa Cruz. I don’t feel like myself down here, and she’s not herself either, she decided. It just feels too scary to bring this up now. She replaced the receiver and vowed to try to get up the courage to tell her partner about the incident with her father–later.

  Soaking in the sun by the pool with her Walkman and some of her favorite tapes, Jamie was starting to feel like herself again. She ate lunch outdoors, took a few dips in the pool, drank at least a half-gallon of water, and let the toxins bake out of her body. She was just about to go inside, since it was nearly five o’clock, when Stephanie came down to sit by her.

  The young woman was a little more animated now that the adults were gone, and she quizzed her older cousin with a good deal of interest, "So what happened to you last night?" she asked. "You didn’t really go to bed, did you?"

  Jamie laughed and replied, "No. Mother and I sat in the gazebo and talked for a long time."

  "Right," Stephanie replied, as though she was waiting for the punch line. She nodded her head, waiting for Jamie to continue, but when her cousin didn’t do so, Stephanie asked, "Are you serious?"

  "Quite. That’s why I agreed to come, Stephanie. I wanted to spend time with my mother. I don’t get to see her that often."

  The younger woman just stared at her for a moment, obviously trying to determine if she really was serious.

  "What did you do all day?" Jamie asked, trying to deflect the intense stare leveled in her direction.

  "Just got up," she responded casually, with a touch of pride. The young waiter, Daniel, approached and Stephanie asked him for a Bloody Mary and some toast.

  The waiter looked at Jamie with an unstated plea in his eyes. "Make Stephanie’s drink just the way I like my Bloody Mary," Jamie advised him with a wink, sending the grateful young man off to prepare a Virgin Mary.

  Focusing again on Stephanie, Jamie asked, "Do you normally sleep until five?"

  "No. I don’t usually get to. But David and I went out for a while last night. We came looking for you, but you weren’t in your room."

  "Really? Where did you go?" Jamie asked, thinking it a bit odd for her 21-year-old cousin to go out with a 16-year-old.

  "Just driving around. You know."

  Jamie did not know, but she decided to find out. "Did you stop anywhere?" she asked casually.

  "Huh-uh."

  "How long were you out?"

  "I don’t know. A few hours."

  "And you just drove around the whole time?" she persisted.

  The young woman tossed aside the magazine she was pretending to read and glared at her older cousin. "God, Jamie, get a clue. We went out to get high!"

  "You and David?" she asked in open-mouthed alarm.

  "Who else am I going to go with? He could find a dealer in a convent," she laughed.

  "What kind of drugs do you do?" Jamie demanded in a tone that let Stephanie know that she was not a kindred spirit.

  "We just smoked a little weed. No big deal. My parents know I get high every once in a while. They think it’s better than drinking."

  Jamie closed her eyes and shook her head. My family is so totally fucked up! "That’s all that you do?" she asked again.

  "Yeah. A little weed. Everyone does it, Jamie. God! Don’t you go to Berkeley? I thought you’d be cooler."

  "No, Stephanie, I’m not cool. I don’t think it’s cool to destroy your mind and your body with drugs. You don’t have enough experience to know what a habit can do to you. And it really angers me that you involved Trey in this. He’s trying to stay clean!"

  "Oh, yeah. That’s right. Trey’s clean," she said with a smirk as she stood to leave. "Eat my toast," she said dismissively as she turned and stormed away. Stephanie had only gone a few feet when Trey came around the corner and nearly bumped into her. As she brushed past him she snapped, "What a bitch!"

  He continued on his path and soon flopped down onto a chaise next to Jamie. "What’s with her?" he asked, pointing at their cousin’s retreating form.

  "She told me about your little escapade last night, and I told her that I didn’t approve," she said evenly. She turned in her chair to look Trey directly in the eye. "Are you using again?"

  "God no, Jamie!" he said defensively. "I almost died from that last overdose. I’m not stupid, you know!" He sat up and ran his hand through his medium-length brown hair. "I shouldn’t tell you this, but I think she needs our support." He could tell by the look on Jamie’s face that so far she was unconvinced of his innocence. Sighing heavily he said, "Stephanie told me she was going out to score. I didn’t want her driving around alone, so I took her. I know you can’t get someone to stop by ordering them around, so I thought it was better to go with her and make sure that she was safe."

  "She says you just smoked some pot. Is that true?" Jamie’s green eyes were boring into him, and he nodded somberly.

  "Yes, just some pot," he agreed. "High school kids smoke pot like we used to drink. It’s really no big deal, and it’s less harmful in the long run. I know my problem wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t drinking at the same time, so I’m glad she just does a little weed." He gave his cousin a big smile and said, "Don’t worry about her. She’s just going through that almost-an-adult thing. She’ll be fine."

  "Stephanie does drink, Trey. She asked me to order her a drink the other night."

  "She’s sixteen, Jamie!" he laughed. "She’s just testing her limits…really."

  "Are you telling me the truth, Trey?"

  "Absolutely. I care about Stephanie too. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Ooh, toast and a Bloody Mary," he said delightedly as Daniel approached. "Who read my mind?"

  Ryan was sitting on the training table getting her ankles taped for afternoon practice when Coach Placer signaled to her. "When you’re done there, Ryan, can I have a minute?"

  "Sure. Be right with you."

  A few minutes later she caught up with the coach, and he motioned towards the bleachers. They climbed about halfway up, and as they sat down she noticed that he looked a little uncomfortable. "I’ve got some bad news, Ryan," he began, and her entire stomach did a major flip.

  "What?" she asked, her heart racing with anxiety, panicked that something had happened to Jamie or someone in her family.

  "Calm down," he smiled, patting her knee. "It’s not that bad."

  "Okay," she replied, taking a deep breath. "Let me have it."

  "I just got a call from the athletic director," he began, and Ryan tried to figure out how a call from the A.D. could have a negative impact on her. "He tells me that the NCAA has decided to change the status of Melinda Grover."

  "Melinda Grover?"
Ryan repeated, having never heard the name before.

  "Yeah. She was a junior last year, and after just one game she blew out her knee. We thought she’d be back this year, but the rehab hasn’t gone well and we assume she won’t be able to play at all."

  "That a tough break," Ryan commiserated, still puzzled.

  "For both of you," Coach Placer informed her. "They told us that we have to keep her scholarship open for her."

  The light dawned and Ryan nodded slowly. "I’m guessing that scholarship is the same one you offered me?"

  "I’m afraid so, Ryan. I know the scholarship means a lot to you, and if you choose to drop off the team, I’ll understand."

  "But if you had a scholarship, you would offer it to me, right?" she asked slowly, trying to fully understand the situation. "I mean, you’re happy with me so far, aren’t you?"

  He laughed gently, shaking his head as he said, "Ryan, if I was any happier with you…well, I don’t know what I’d do!"

  "Then I’ll stay," she decided. "I’m having fun…I like the other players…I like you…why not finish what I’ve started?" The words were out of her mouth before the reality of her situation hit her. "Uhh…check that, Coach," she muttered, biting her lower lip in thought. "I uh…need to talk to Jamie first. We’ve uh…there are some financial aspects that have come up that uh…"

  He looked at her sympathetically and offered, "If you need to work this year, I’ll figure out a way to let you have a reduced practice schedule, Ryan. I’ll do anything in my power to help you stay on the team if it’s important to you."

  "It is, Coach," she admitted, realizing at that moment just how important it was. "I appreciate your concern."

  "I am concerned, Ryan. I feel awful that this has happened, and I’m really sorry for leading you to think you’d get a free ride."

  "I think I’ll be okay," she said. "I just need to check with Jamie to see if she agrees. I’m a double major and this is going to be a tough year for me academically, anyway."

  "I don’t think you’ve told me what you’re majoring in," he said, looking at her with interest.