Fallen Woman

by Stephie Walls

  We chatted for a bit longer and set plans for him to pick me up on Saturday, although I knew I’d talk to him again before then. When I hung up, I made my final nightly call to Jase. Something about his voice… I loved him being the last person I talked to each night. I slept soundly the nights I was able to say goodnight, and those I wasn’t, I tossed and turned and might as well have stayed awake.

  “Hey, babe,” he chimed into the phone. “How’s Holland?”

  “How’d you know I’d been talking to him?”

  “Because he won’t answer anyone else’s calls when he talks to you, and he’s not a phone person. Don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he’s come out of his shell more in the last couple weeks since you two went to lunch than he has in years.”

  “He’s a good guy. He’s funny in a quiet and broody sort of way.”

  “Yeah, he is. He was my saving grace in high school. It was nice to have someone to come home to at the end of a shitty day who understood just how awkward I was and didn’t care because he rivaled me for the first place nerd position.” He laughed at the memory, and it was hauntingly familiar to me as well.

  I got my daily dose of Jase, away from the office that is, and said goodnight to my best friend with my kids sleeping soundly in the next room. I looked around at the bare walls and the dark brown carpet. I hated this place, had since the day I moved in, but somehow, it didn’t seem quite as bad when I didn’t feel so alone. With Pearl, Jase, and Holland, I felt like I had family that extended beyond my children.

  ~~~

  Holland’s SUV fit right in in my neighborhood. He looked more like a dealer driving around than he did a powerful businessman, and regardless of his age, he was youthful. No one would guess he was in his mid-thirties. Late twenties at best. The black Mercedes had tinted windows, well above the legal limit, and rims every guy in the complex had eyeballed when he locked the car. I was standing outside talking to Miss Pearl, who again was babysitting for me, when he came strolling up. Standing in the projects, I looked completely out of place in the dress he’d chosen, but I didn’t care. I felt like a million dollars and couldn’t wait to go out with him. I didn’t care what we were doing. I got to play dress-up and hang out on the arm of a man women all over the city would be lucky to have. I wished I knew more women—good women I could match up with these guys. Selfishly, I thought about how my role in their lives would change. I was really only friends with Jase and Holland; Drake maintained a distance I didn’t quite understand but respected.

  I had met up with the group of them for lunch a few times with Jase, but Drake kept me at arm’s length while Holland and Jase acted like I’d been in the fold since birth. Max and Willum even warmed up to me quickly and started acting as though there had never been a day I hadn’t been around, but not Drake. He was always pleasant, but something was just beneath the surface, and if I dug, I’d probably find it. Whatever he was hiding, he hid from Jase as well. I didn’t dwell on it, though. He was the one lingering on the outside of the fray, not me.

  Holland strolled up to me in his tailored black suit. It accentuated his broad shoulders and slim waist, and I giggled at how large his feet looked in his monkey suit.

  “Hush,” he said playfully as he kissed me on the cheek with a warm hello. The twins were hanging at my side, and he squatted down to introduce himself. Megan giggled, but Trace wasn’t happy. He refused to even acknowledge him verbally and just glared at my friend.

  “Trace, don’t be rude. Say hello.”

  He ignored me and stomped off into Miss Pearl’s apartment and slammed the door behind him. I started to go after him, but she turned me back around and directed me to the parking lot with my date. I hated that term. It wasn’t a date—Holland was not considering me for a role in his life. I was an escort, but I despised that term even more than I detested date. I was a glorified prostitute who didn’t put out.

  “You sure?” I asked my surrogate grandmother.

  “Honey, go. You don’t wanna be late. He’ll be fine. He’s just not used to sharing your time. It’s part of life, and he has to accept it. Now go. I’ll make him some cookies.” She smiled in a way only she could and soothed my worry away.

  I kissed Megan and Emmy goodbye, but Emmy launched herself at Holland. “Have fun with my mommy. She sure looks pretty.”

  He was a good sport about it and hugged her back. “Yes, she does. I promise to make sure she has a good time.”

  With that, my girls were happy and skipped off as we went to his car. Emmy seemed to be regaining some of her energy, but I was hesitant to get my hopes up. There’d been so many highs and lows over the years; therefore, I never got excited about much.

  “So I need to warn you that you might get some inappropriate questions tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “These are all people I’ve worked with for years. I haven’t brought a date to an event in so long I don’t remember when the last time was. So, some of the women might be a little…intrusive.”

  “So how do you want me to handle that?” I didn’t think he wanted me telling people he hired me to hang out on his arm, but if he did, then we needed to turn the mother ship around now and head back to The Village.

  “With grace. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

  I settled back in the seat and smiled smugly. He was confident I wouldn’t let him down. I was truly doing a job, one that benefited him, and it made me feel good. Even if there was a hefty reward at the end, I loved knowing I was helping my friend avoid rabid women.

  Holland was wrong. They weren’t a little intrusive—they were downright, blatantly nosy as all get out. And talk about asking inappropriate questions. The award-winning inquiry came from a member of upper management, who happened to be a woman. She questioned if I’d taken classes. “I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

  She was subtle, keeping her voice low so no one would overhear. “You know, like in seduction.”

  “Is that a thing?” I asked shocked.

  “Hell yes, and one people charge a ton of money for. Most of the women at these events have paid to play with the big dogs. Not tonight so much as the other obligatory functions we have to go to. They’re vying for position in high society. So…I’m just wondering who you went to.”

  Oddly enough, I liked her. Morgan was her name. She was sharp as a tack, drop-dead gorgeous, but I could see how men wouldn’t find her approachable. She was intimating. I laughed and gave her an answer she didn’t believe. “No classes, Morgan. We’re just great friends.”

  Holland returned, saving me from any further discussion about my success landing him, and handed me a glass of wine. It smelled warm; the red was intoxicating and sweet. We engaged with Morgan for a few minutes while I sipped my fermented grapes before he pulled me off to meet other members of his team. I was impressed. He knew every person on staff by name and where they worked. He knew what they did, roughly how long each of them had been with the company, and he blew me away when he knew spouses’ and kids’ names. This guy was invested in his people, and they loved him. They were kind and courteous to me, and the occasional odd comment, I believed, came out of a place of genuine interest in his happiness, not malice.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked me in a raised whisper.

  “Very much. Thank you. I love your staff.” I smiled as I gazed around the room seeing everyone having a good time. No one appeared miserable like they normally do at these things. It was as if they were all a big family, and I was jealous. “I almost wish I had come to work for you.” I snickered.

  “We certainly can make room for you on our team,” he said straight-faced.

  I waved him off as though he was joking.

  “I’d have Jase to bury, but seriously, consider it. I’d love having you around, and it wouldn’t be in the damn mailroom. I love Jase, but fuck, he needs to put your skills to good use.”

  “It’s not his fault. I wouldn’t let him move me. I want to earn it.”

&
nbsp; “You did earn it. You graduated from Dartmouth.”

  “My boss hasn’t promoted me or put in for a promotion, and until he does, I’m sticking it out in the mailroom.”

  “But what if you changed companies?”

  “I can’t do that, Holland. I vowed to myself if I got a job, I was sticking it out and working my way back up. I’ve only been there a couple of months, and that vile woman in HR didn’t think I’d last two weeks. I can’t quit.”

  “No one like you ever falls in my lap. Jase is a lucky son of a bitch.” He nudged my arm in good humor, and I was thankful he wasn’t genuinely upset.

  It’s hard to turn down the chance to do anything different, but hard work never hurt anyone, and I liked Nancy—I’d finally learned her name. She was funny and certain Jase was falling for me. I rolled my eyes every time she’d said it. My job was easy, and there was something to be said for being able to go home at night with zero stress. I could eat dinner with the neighbor and my children, give them baths, and for the first time since they were very small, not worry about how I would feed them the next day. Emmy’s medical needs had been smaller than normal, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be long before we were back at a specialist trying to figure out how to battle the fatigue and joint pain the insurance companies swore didn’t exist. I had started to dig myself out of the hole I was bogged down in, and it felt good.

  “Jase is a good guy. I’m lucky.”

  The rest of the evening was spent with cocktails and stories about people and their families and others convincing me of what a great catch Holland was. I would just smile and admire him. One day he’d find a woman who appreciated his strong silence and the heavily rooted foundation he had. Part of me wished I had the connection to him I felt with Jase, but no matter how I wished it were there, it wasn’t. And somehow, Holland believed I belonged to Jase. It wasn’t necessarily in the words he’d said so much as the way he acted and the things he’d insinuated about his best friend.

  When he dropped me off, he hugged me tightly and told me what a wonderful time he’d had. Just before he left, he handed me a royal blue pouch and closed my fingers around it. “Thank you for a lovely evening, Gianna.”

  “Likewise.”

  There was something in the bag in my hand, but like with Drake, I didn’t open it in front of Holland. He’d closed my fingers around it for a reason, so I respected his desire for me to open it privately. With no children to put in bed—Miss Pearl thought waking them up in the middle of the night was silly—I went inside and turned on the kitchen light. I found my phone with the intention of calling Jase before I went to sleep, but set it down while I opened the little drawstring on the pouch.

  Sticking my hand inside, I found the money, and just as Jase had indicated, there were five one hundred-dollar bills, but at the bottom was something else. I pulled the jewelry from the bag and was stunned by the beautiful tennis bracelet made of what I assumed were sapphires to match the dress he’d chosen for me to wear. These men were over the top, and I didn’t know how to handle them. I was overwhelmed by their generosity.

  I shot Holland a text telling him I couldn’t accept the gift but it was beautiful.

  Holland: Nonsense. I bought it for you.

  Me: It’s just too much but thank you.

  Holland: Everything you do is for someone else. This is just for YOU. I can’t return it so suck it up. Goodnight.

  I knew arguing wouldn’t get me anywhere, so I called Jase to bitch instead. He needed to get his friends under control. I didn’t need lavish gifts—they were already doing more for me than I could ever repay.

  “Hey, babe.”

  The way he drew out the word “babe” sent shivers down my spine. For some reason, when I called him late at night, his voice was always husky, and it made me want him in ways no respectable woman should ever consider.

  “Did you know?”

  “Know what?” Normally, I loved the slower speech pattern he reserved for me, but right now, it was just irritating.

  “About Holland.”

  “I know a lot about Holland. You’re going to have to be a tad more specific.”

  “The bracelet.”

  He laughed, giving me every indication he was well aware of what I was talking about.

  I stomped my foot like a five-year-old and clenched my fist at my side, beating it on my leg with each word that followed. “Jase. You have to stop this stuff. Your friends can’t give me expensive jewelry, and buy me clothes, and take me out. I look like a whore!”

  “No, you don’t. Plus, no one but you even knows.” He made light of what I was talking about, but it was true.

  “You knew exactly what I was talking about, meaning I’m sure Drake, Max, and Willum know.”

  “Likely. And luckily for you, Max and Willum will try to one up him. Drake won’t care. He’ll stick to the agreement as it was written.”

  “What the heck, Jase? You guys have a written agreement about our arrangement? Are you insane?”

  “It’s not going to get out, and they’re not doing anything they don’t want to do, so don’t worry about it.”

  “I am worried about it. You never let me pay for anything, not even lunch. Your friends buy me expensive clothes, pay me an insane amount of money to hang out with them publicly—which, by the way, I’d do for free—and now lavish gifts? No way. It has to stop somewhere.”

  “I’ll let you buy lunch Monday. Deal?”

  He infuriated the crap out of me. “No! Jase. Not a deal. Me spending fifteen dollars on lunch does not make up for a sapphire bracelet.”

  “But I didn’t buy you the bracelet. You have to take that up with Holland.” His jovial tone made me want to reach through the phone and smack the daylights out of him. “But don’t be surprised when he rejects your demands as well.”

  “Oh no, please don’t tell me that.”

  “He fancies you, but don’t worry. He won’t violate the bro-code.”

  And that right there shut me up. It was the perfect opportunity for me to attempt to get Jase to give me any indication he felt the same thing I did. He all but implied his friends see me as off limits, but knowing Jase, that’s probably out of protection rather than any romantic association.

  “Gia, you still there?” The silence had gone on too long and I’d gotten stuck in my head.

  “Yeah. I guess.”

  He chuckled again. I hated that I loved his sounds so much, happiness being my favorite. It rattled through his chest like wind through leaves on a warm day. “Night, babe.”

  “Night, Jase.”

  ~~~

  My eyes opened early the next morning. The curtains remained open where I’d forgotten to close them last night, and the sun broke through like a blinding beacon. I grabbed a quick shower and put on jeans and a T-shirt before going to Miss Pearl’s. I stuffed a bit of cash in my pocket and went to see what she had going on for breakfast. Sunday mornings were usually reserved for church, but she’d made an exception, and I was welcomed by the scent of warm sugar and fresh cinnamon rolls. If she weren’t older than Methuselah, she could have a nice career opening a restaurant of some sort.

  The kids were still asleep in the living room when I walked in—all but Emmy, who was jammed right up next to Pearl in the kitchen making icing for the cinnamon rolls. She was in her element as much as my neighbor was. Emmy poked her in the side in an effort to goose her, but instead, it sent her into a fit of coughs—horrible, wet, croupy coughs.

  “Miss Pearl, you doing okay? That cough sounds bad.”

  “Nonsense. I’m fine. Better than I can say for our girl here. She had a tough night with the pains.” The look on her face wasn’t fine, but I couldn’t tell if she was deflecting or ensuring I knew my daughter had a rough night…meaning we were headed back to the doctor this week.

  “Are you coming down with something? You look like maybe you’re getting sick,” I said to Pearl as I kneeled down to see if Emmy had any other symptoms. Her glands were
swollen along her neck, and I could easily see the swelling in her elbows, but my little trooper hadn’t complained. It ate at me that she knew every doctor visit was more money I didn’t have, and thus hid her pain from me. I raised my eyebrows, acknowledging I knew but that we’d talk about it later and turned my attention back to Pearl.

  “Now hush yo’ mouth. I told you I’m fine, and I aim to be just that.” Her tone was harsh, and I’d never been spoken to like that by her. She must’ve realized just how short she’d been. “Don’t worry yourself over nothin’, ya hear me?” she asked pointedly, and I nodded. “Now, reach up there an’ gimme that plate.” I did as she told me to, and Emmy loaded the platter and then set the table.

  I watched my friend the rest of the morning. She moved slower than I’d ever seen, and I was concerned she might have a fever. She refused to let me show her any attention or go to the store to get her anything for a cold. “I’m nearly eighty years old. I know what’s I need, and it ain’t you fussin’ over me. Hear?”

  “Yes, ma’am. But promise me if you do need anything, you’ll let me know?” I made her promise before I’d leave. And as I walked out the door to take Derrick and the kids to the park so she could nap, I dropped a couple hundred dollars on her kitchen counter. I wanted to do more, but I needed to take the kids to get clothes, get some food…and now it appeared I’d be visiting another specialist. Despite several paychecks and two “dates,” I still wasn’t caught up and had nothing in savings, but I wanted to do something, and I knew she wouldn’t take it if I just handed it to her.

  This way she had no choice.

  Chapter Six

  “Babe, he’s not going to bite, and neither is his family.” He couldn’t stop laughing at me over lunch. I’d met him at Fifth’s after taking Emmy to the doctor—another dose of potent antibiotics while we detox and wait for lab results and hoped it didn’t get worse.