Star-Crossed

by Jo Cotterill

  Do I tell her, or not tell her? Tell her, not tell her? Tell her…?

  “Erm, about that, Maddy…” you start, hesitating slightly.

  “What?” she says lightly.

  “I … we…” you stammer and stutter. “Well, we are…”

  “What? What have you done now, Jay-Jay?”

  You can’t do it.

  “Nothing. He’s just an asshole, that’s all.” This seems to satisfy your sister. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” you say, mustering your enthusiasm.

  “Of course! Good luck, gorgeous. You’ll be fab.”

  You put down the phone and shove it back in your pocket. Turning to the door, you realize what you have just agreed to.

  I’m going to be Juliet again! Shakespeare’s Juliet…

  You feel like dancing, so you groove into the room. It’s empty. The other two must be doing some last-minute rehearsing.

  There are tables to hold the make-up, scripts and hair-styling utensils for the three main female roles. These and the windows have been covered in a red cloth. The full-length mirror from the drama storeroom is here, as well as comfy chairs from the music room next door. Over one of these lies The Dress – the others are hung up on a rail at the side of the room.

  You dance around the mirror with springs in your feet, but jump even higher in the air when you see Walker’s face loom from the reflected darkness. The smile drops quickly from your face.

  Walker fixes you with the stare that makes students fall instantly silent. “I take it Chris passed on my message?”

  You feel your cheeks grow hot as you suppress a secret smile and nod.

  “And you are going to help?”

  You nod again.

  “No punching this time?”

  You shake your head, and you can’t keep the smile from creeping on to your face.

  “That’s what I thought,” she starts. “I have just seen one very shocked Miss Phillips. She had glanced into the lighting-room door and seemed to think that the two of you had found some kind of…” She raises her eyebrows suggestively. “…mutual understanding?”

  You smile. “I remember someone once saying that there was a fine line between love and hate – I understand what she means now.”

  “What a very wise person she must have been.” She smiles back. “I’m happy as long as you don’t kill each other before the last line.”

  As Walker helps you get ready, the two of you laugh and chat. Laughing with a teacher? Well, they say love makes you do crazy things, you think.

  Walker is just finishing off your make-up, but she won’t let you look in the mirror until it’s done. You’re wearing your first proper costume, and you love the feel of it. It needed to be taken in a little bit from when Misha had worn it. That made you feel good, given that she is probably the hottest girl in the school.

  You begin to fidget again and stamp your feet slightly. The pre-performance jitters are creeping in.

  “All right, all right! You’re done. Go and look. And calm down, for heaven’s sake!” she murmurs.

  You walk up to the mirror, anxious to see your reflection. Your rich brunette hair is swept up in an elegant style on your head. Your lightly tanned skin looks amazing against the white of the dress, and the make-up on your face makes your features look completely different. You can’t speak. You can’t breathe.

  That can’t be me … can it?

  Walker comes up behind you and gently puts her hands on your shoulders.

  “You look beautiful,” she whispers. “Now, let’s get you onstage, or the play will be late starting…”

  The two of you walk backstage. Everyone stops to let the two of you through. They all whisper good luck wishes to you and you accept them shakily with a small smile. You need to focus.

  When I’m focused, I’ll be fine, you think.

  Walker gives your shoulders a small squeeze. You have to wait in the sides for your scene. All of your nerves disappear. The curtains open. A boy walks onstage and opens the play. You shut your eyes and listen to him speak. This is it. This is what I was born to do. Acting is me.

  “Two households, both alike in dignity,

  In fair Verona, where we lay our scene…”

  The play is going well and you cruised through your first scene. You’re only allowed in the wings when you’re waiting for your entrance cue, and you haven’t seen Chris yet. The tension of waiting to see him onstage is killing you. You are slightly worried that you will forget your lines as soon as you look into his eyes, and just melt into a puddle on the floor. You don’t even see Helene, who is now playing the nurse, until she comes right in front of you and calls your name. You shake yourself from your thoughts. It’s time for the Capulet party scene.

  You walk into the wings, take a deep breath, and let Juliet walk on to the stage. The light is blinding, but you don’t notice it. Your heart flutters. This is it. This is it… You look up.

  Your knees don’t give way. You don’t melt into a puddle on the floor. You, Juliet Capulet, have just seen an entrancing young man watching you. He is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Your eyes connect and electricity runs through your entire body. It’s new; it’s exciting – and you have never felt this way before.

  He’s coming over … oh my Lord … this gentleman has stolen my heart with one glance. How can this be…?

  You finish your scene and come off, nearly collapsing in sudden exhaustion.

  That was amazing…

  The girls backstage swarm around you, stifling giggles and congratulating you on your performance so far. Everyone is giddy with the performance-night feeling, including you. It’s the best buzz in the world…

  You are onstage. Your Romeo is dead by your side. You feel as though your heart has been dug out of your body with a blunt spade, and then smashed into one thousand pieces, never to be replaced. You reach for the dagger.

  “O happy dagger!

  This is thy sheath…”

  You take the dagger to your chest and stab yourself: one final movement. You take a deep, shuddering breath, then whisper, tortured, your last line:

  “There rust, and let … me … die.”

  You crumple on to your dear Romeo’s body, to the sound of shocked and tremulous applause.

  As you go off, you catch sight of Chris heading down to the boys’ dressing room, and give him your best smile. He returns it with a wink. You feel so happy you could fly, straight up into the cosmos. You don’t need wings – you just need Chris.

  Ten minutes later, the play is over. You make your way on to the stage for the final applause. You and Chris walk into the middle of the stage, join hands, then bow and curtsey. The audience is going crazy. You beam as you see your mum, dad and sister clapping furiously. Maddy must have rung them to tell them about you getting your part back. You’re ecstatic that they saw you. You know that they are proud.

  A loud whistle from the back breaks through your thoughts and you smile even more – Rubes was teaching J how to whistle yesterday, and there is no mistaking a Reuben-style whistle. The curtain begins to close, even though the crowd is still applauding and cheering like mad. You are deliriously happy. You turn to Chris. You can’t control yourself any longer. To hell with it! you think.

  You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him deeply in front of the whole cast. He is tentative at first, but then he gives in. The cast momentarily stop jumping and screaming when they see that you two are locked in an embrace, then whoop and cheer again as if nothing had happened. You part from Chris, and catch Reuben’s eye. He shrugs in a “It-was-such-good-gossip-I-had-to-tell-everyone” kind of way. You smile and blow him a kiss. Nothing can spoil your mood.

  Everyone starts to troop off the stage in a crowd, cheering and jumping around as they go. You’re fairly sure your final kiss was hidden from the audience
by the curtain, but now you feel a pang of uncertainty. You know that if your parents had seen you kiss Chris, you would never, ever leave the house again. You can practically hear your mother’s voice screaming at you in your head. “He’s one of them! How could you be so stupid? That boy is—”

  You let the crowd drown out her imaginary voice and let go of Chris, but keep your hands entwined with his. You are buzzing with excitement. You have to do something to get this feeling out of your system. A wicked smile crosses your face.

  “Let’s do something,” you murmur.

  Chris’s eyebrows rise.

  “What do you mean?” he says, with the air of someone preparing themselves for the worst.

  Your eyes shine as you spin round and run off towards the dressing rooms. Chris catches up with you and manages to pull you round to face him.

  “What?!” he laughs.

  You push him into a nearby room, follow him in and shut the door behind you. It’s pitch-black and cramped. The cleaners’ closet. You smile. It doesn’t matter. You run your hand over the wall, searching for the light switch, and switch it on. You look at Chris with a wry grin.

  You can smell him; like a mixture of Hugo Boss and his own unique musky, sexy smell that makes your heart race. He leans against the wall and you lean into him, kissing him passionately for a few seconds then pull away. He takes his weight off the wall to kiss you again, but you push him back and put your hand over his lips.

  “Let’s leave,” you burst out, the words tumbling out in a rush. “Let’s go to the forest and make a fire – stay up and watch the dawn together. Let’s go and get lost. Let’s go to the bus station and catch the next one that leaves… I don’t care! I just want to get away.”

  Chris looks at the floor; his eyebrows scrunched in concentration. This wasn’t the response you were expecting. The soaring high from the play starts to fade, trickling away from you like sand in your hands. You turn from him, confused.

  “I can just go by myself. You don’t have to come if you don’t want—”

  “The station,” he whispers. “We can go as far as we want. Get out of here for a while. Go to the beach – camp out under the stars, see the sun rise over the horizon?” His face turns serious. “We’ll leave tonight. Now. Just you and me…”

  You kiss him again, and whisper in his ear.

  “What are we waiting for…?”

  He takes your hand, switches off the light, and pulls you out of the closet. You shut the door behind you and you both run down the corridor, Chris leading the way.

  Outside your dressing room, he pulls you close and whispers to you, stroking your hair. “No one can see you. If we’re going, we have to get out before our parents find us. If we don’t get out before then we’re screwed.”

  You nod. “We’ll take the back way through the school so nobody sees us, right?”

  “Yeah,” he answers, turning in the direction of his own room. “Meet me in the girls’ toilets near the gym.” His eyes light up and his smile grows bigger. “Grab your stuff and we can get the hell out. I’ll be waiting.”

  You nod. “Two minutes.”

  He kisses you softly and you almost forget about the plan. Almost. You push him away, grinning. “Go!”

  You don’t watch him leave, but quickly walk into the room, gathering up your things and shoving them into a bag. There is a sound from behind you.

  You spin around to see Maddy leaning against the door. You are frozen in shock. You’d forgotten you weren’t supposed to be seen. Especially not by your sister. Maddy walks over to you and stands just in front of you. Her eyes are glittering with anger.

  This is not gonna be good.

  “What IN HELL are you doing, Jen?!” she hisses at you. “Chris BANNER?! Have you lost your MIND?!”

  You frown. “What do you mean? It was only a play, for Christ’s sake…”

  She grabs your arm and pushes you violently into a chair.

  “Don’t you bloody dare try to pull that on me!”

  You are paralyzed with fear. Your sister is usually so close to you, so understanding, never this … this, well, vicious. Her pretty face is contorted with fury.

  “I saw the two of you kissing, just before the curtain closed. And some kids in the corridor were talking about you and him as I walked past. Fancy me coming here, thinking that my little sister is the most wonderful thing on the planet, to find out that she is actually a fake and a traitor! Did you know Mum and Dad made it in the end and had to sit out there, watching that? How dare you do this?!”

  You stand to face her. She knows now. There’s no point in denying it. You are shaking with anger. This is pathetic.

  “How dare I?” you ask. “HOW DARE I?! I LOVE HIM, MADDY! I DARE BECAUSE HE’S SWEET AND FUNNY AND KIND AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE LOVES ME. HE. LOVES. ME! THIS STUPID FEUD IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!”

  The anger boils up inside of you and you can’t stop screaming. You feel as if you are about to break. Your hands are balled up in fists and your hair is falling out of its bun, but you aren’t noticing. All you can focus on is the short-sightedness of your sister.

  “WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT PEOPLE ARE HUMAN AND WE NEED TO JUST FORGET?! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM! YOU’RE SUCH A BITCH!”

  Maddy’s hand suddenly pushes you hard. You stumble backwards, staring at her in a shocked silence. She is shaking too, livid with hurt pride.

  “I’m sorry,” she says in a rough whisper. “But you needed to come back to your senses. You don’t mean any of that. And he doesn’t love you.” She looks at you with a mix of pity and loathing. “He’s just saying that to humiliate you. To trick you.” She moves closer to you, getting right into your face, dropping her voice as she gets nearer and nearer. “Then, when you trust him with your life, he will destroy you. Inch. By. Inch. Just like his dear old dad.”

  You push yourself off the wall, so that your nose and Maddy’s are almost touching.

  “Believe what you want. Chris isn’t like that. Go to hell.”

  You push her aside and run out of the room without any of your things, towards the toilets.

  You hear her shout after you, “How could you do this to your family?”

  You try to ignore it, but your heart feels like it’s about to shatter.

  Chris. I need Chris. Where are you?

  You run through the crowded cast corridor. It doesn’t matter if people see you now. You just have to get there as fast as you can, pushing people out of the way as hot tears fall down your face. You’re nearly at the turning to the toilets when someone grabs your arm. You spin around to pull your arm away, but you catch sight of the person’s face. It’s Rubes. His eyes are full of concern.

  “What’s wrong?” His expression turns angry. “Don’t tell me Banner’s turned on you? I’ll kill him.”

  You shake your head madly, but he keeps hold of your wrists.

  “No!” you choke. “No … I need to see him … Maddy, she … I…” you stutter, and feel a fresh wave of panic, nausea and fear wash over you. You force yourself to calm down. “I have to go to speak to Chris. Now.”

  You turn to go back to the toilets, but Rubes is still holding you. “Where are you going? He’s not in there.”

  Your hair falls out of its last clips.

  “What?”

  Your voice catches painfully in your throat. Maddy’s words echo in your head.

  Then, when you trust him with your life, he will destroy you. Inch. By. Inch…

  You try to shake the cold band of doubt that is contracting around your heart, but it throbs painfully as you try to draw a breath.

  “He’s not in there,” he says quickly.

  You raise your eyebrows. “How do you know he’s not in the girls’ bathroom?”

  “’Cause I just saw him a minute ago. His dad was escorting him out of the door. He look
ed pretty mad…”

  You pull away and sprint back along the corridor to the main hall, where the exit is. People are milling about; waiting for friends and family to come out. They stare at your costume. You push your way through the doors to the outside. It’s dark – the light from the hall illuminates the grass area outside the school. Goosebumps rise on your skin from the sudden change in temperature. You don’t even notice that it’s raining. You are soaked within seconds. As you stare across the car park, looking for the Banner car, something catches the light across the busy road. A car door. A fair man, well-built, with a sharp haircut and stiff walk that must be military, with a blonde teenage boy. They look like they are arguing, and even though you are too far away to hear what they are saying, you know that they could only be fighting about one thing. You. The man begins to force the boy into the car. You start to run.

  You push through the gate and on to the pavement. Your heart is in your mouth.

  I have to get to him…

  A car goes past and splashes you. Your Juliet dress is dripping and you are soaked to the skin. It feels so heavy. The rain is driving into your face, but all you can see is Chris. He’s still so far away, on the other side of the road, refusing to get into the car.

  “Chris!” You cry out his name, hoping he can hear you over the torrential downpour. You step into the road, getting ready to run across it. Time slows. Chris looks up and sees you. You take another step into the road and look up at his face again. But he’s not looking at you. His dad has frozen too and they are both staring, horrified, at something to your right. You take another step, confused, and turn to see what they are looking at. A sudden brightness overtakes the dark, blinding you. You don’t even have time to shade your eyes. You just stand, transfixed with horror, as you hear Chris’s strangled voice cry your name.