“I think we’ve proven nothing is forbidden between us.”
“I’m serious.”
So was he. “It’s not attractive. Like, it goes along with a guy who would give a pretty brunette a false name to lure her to bed then walk away without any consequences.”
She leaned down, letting her hair fall over his chest, as she kissed him. Quick but hot. “Just so you know, the name didn’t get me into bed. It was that face and the dark sexiness.”
“Good to know.” Great, actually, Part of him always wondered why she took him up on the offer to move their conversation from the hotel bar to the room. It wasn’t as if he was smooth and at his best. That night the worst side of him had threatened to burst out.
He brushed his free hand over the arm lying across his chest. “I was furious, irrationally so.”
“About?”
“Austin and Mitch.” He closed his eyes on a regretful groan. “I really was a dick. They’d both found these women and were happy and I felt...I don’t even know how to describe it. Austin had some tough times and got through them, too much alcohol and too little Carrie, but everything felt so unsettled yet it wasn’t. See they were settled. I was the one. It was like nothing felt right, my life, my choices, even my own skin. I was angry and looking to lash out. Then you sat down and ordered a drink and I said Austin’s name because in that moment I didn’t want to be me.”
“You didn’t seem angry to me.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her, enjoying the softness he saw there “How did I seem?”
“Lonely.”
He hated that word. Made him sound weak and pathetic and he hated that, too. “Damn, really?”
She moved so that more of her body covered his. The shift put her face right above his. “Is it possible what you were feeling was abandoned?”
“I’m not a little kid.” His hand ran down her back until it reached that fine ass. Much more of this and they’d be looking at another round.
“Now, that’s telling.”
He stilled, not sure what part of the conversation he’d just missed. Since she looked all serious and sure, he worried it was a biggie. “Meaning?”
“When Stephen moved on—”
Spence’s back teeth slammed together at the mention of that idiot’s name. She’d given him bits and pieces of their marriage story, and nothing Spence heard made him want to do anything but smash the guy. “He’s a shit.”
“What I’m about to say won’t make you like him any better.” She kissed Spence’s chin before continuing. “His gambling messed up our accounting practice. He had the problem and I rushed to fix it and then do you know what he did?”
“Unless the answer is ‘fell into a cement mixer’ I’m not going to like it.” He cupped her ass in both hands now, gently kneading her bare skin and kicking off a new punch of need in his gut.
“He needed to start over. That’s what he said. I’d given everything and sacrificed my reputation and my career to save our pathetic marriage and he needed a new life, free from me. I was about to say those same words to him, but he said them first and robbed me of the pleasure.”
“Now that’s a dick.”
“No arguments here. But I think what I was feeling mirrored what you were feeling, in a different way, but still similar.”
“Austin and Mitch didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No, but they moved on and there had to be a part of you that hated that.”
Her comments knocked him speechless. His fingers stopped moving and his heart thundered its beat in his ears. “I’m not sure how I felt.”
“Well, you think about it while I go to the bathroom.” She sat up, giving him a front view of her breasts and just when he reached out to touch them, she was gone. With a blanket wrapped around her, she stood at the door to his bathroom. “And get your mind off my body. I need to find some clothes so you can buy me breakfast.”
He fell back against the mattress, his mind in a jumble. She threw out theories and broke down his defenses. In such a short time, she had him spinning in circles and rethinking vows he’d made long ago. The least he could do was take her to breakfast.
He smiled...then he sat up as the amusement faded away. Clothes. Her damn bra was downstairs.
Stumbling into his jeans and not bothering to zip them, he scrambled out of bed and down the hall. His bare feet thudded against the wooden steps as he raced down, determined to grab the clothing before anyone showed up for work. Out of the windows next to the door, he could see the sun coming up, which meant he only had minutes.
He slipped on the rug at the bottom of the steps but managed to keep his balance. With one hand on the doorframe, he spun into the main office, almost knocking into the Christmas tree...and stopped dead.
Travis leaned against Spence’s desk, still wearing his jacket and bundled up from the cold. With a lacy bra in his hands. “Good morning.”
Spence’s temples began to pound. “Damn it.”
“Have a good night?”
He wiped a hand over his face as he glanced around. “Are you the only one here?”
Travis’s eyebrow lifted. “You mean downstairs? Yes. But I’m thinking I’m not the only one in the building.”
With as much command as a half-naked guy could muster, Spence walked into the room and stopped a few feet away from Travis. “We worked last night. It got late. That’s it.”
Travis glanced at the bra in his hand. “You’re sticking with the work story?”
“There’s no story.” Spence weighed the chances of snatching the bra out of the younger man’s hand without making the scene even worse.
Travis held up the bra. “This looks like a story.”
The ticking of the clock echoed in Spence’s ears. When had the damn thing gotten so loud? “Give me that.”
“She get hot and take off her clothes?”
“I...this...” Sweet damn, he was sputtering. He was a grownass man and the idea of getting caught having sex made him nuts.
“You managed to knock him speechless.”
Spence closed his eyes at the sound of Lila’s voice behind him. The only positive he could find was she sounded amused instead of pissed.
Travis smiled and this time he looked past Spence, right over his shoulder, as he did it. “I’m thinking you might have done that.”
She stopped next to Spence. He could barely think over the clanging of the headache. “Why are you down here?”
She pointed at Travis’s hand. “To get my bra.”
“Spence was trying to explain how it spontaneously fell off, or something. I really couldn’t follow the whole explanation.”
“That’s sweet, chivalrous even, but Travis is a big boy. He knows we’ve slept together before and I’m pretty sure he knows we did now.”
Which brought Spence straight back to the point. “And if he breathes a word of this I will beat the—”
“Now.” As if he hadn’t spoken, Lila stepped forward and held her hand out to Travis. “Can I have that?”
For what could have been the first time in memory, Travis blushed. “Oh, sorry.”
She took the bra and balled it in her fist. “Gentlemen, I am going to go change and then I’ll need breakfast. Anyone who wants to join me at Schmidt’s is welcome.”
Travis raised his hand. “I’m in.”
Spence wanted to be alone with her, to apologize for not grabbing the evidence sooner. To ask her why she so clearly didn’t care that Travis walked in on them this morning. All of that would have to wait because she headed for the stairs. He heard her feet against the steps and then she was gone, moving around in his bedroom above them as the floorboards creaked beneath her.
Travis’s smile grew even bigger. “The secret is safe with me, though I have to say the entire town already assumes you’re together. Darla said the leading contender for the nickname is The Fall, referring to your bachelorhood status, of course.”
“Damn gossip.”
&n
bsp; Travis pushed to his feet. “You thought it was funny when it was aimed at Austin and then Mitch.”
“It was back then. Look, this is a different situation. What I have with Lila isn’t serious.”
“Really?”
“No. I mean, yes.” Shit, he had no idea what he meant or why Travis was frowning. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Do you really not know?
“It’s too early for word games.” Spence glanced at the clock again. The countdown to accidentally flashing the women who worked in the office had begun. He had to get upstairs and find clothing or the town gossip would flame out of control.
“I have faith you’ll figure it out.” Then Travis headed toward the door. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
Before Spence could come up with a new question, he stood alone in the office. Except for that short period months ago, the sensation usually didn’t bother him. Today it did, so he went to find Lila.
Chapter Ten
Three days later, days of sharing work during the daylight hours and nights twisting with Lila in his bed, Spence stood in the first-floor kitchen of the farmhouse. Travis and Lila lounged in the upstairs television room. It was once a closed-off bedroom but Spence had turned it into a family room. Two days before Christmas and everyone would pour in tomorrow.
He heard footsteps behind him and didn’t have to turn around. He knew the lumbering walk. He’d been hearing it for thirty years. Austin had been back from D.C. for three hours and hanging around ever since. Spence liked having him home, except when he talked about marriage and commitment, and those topics seemed to be the only ones on his baby brother’s mind lately.
Spence closed the refrigerator and set the beverages next to the tray he used to haul snacks upstairs for football-game days. “How about some help?”
Cans clinked together as they worked. “You ready to introduce Lila to Dad and Mitch and Carrie and—”
“Yeah.” That was enough of that. “Speaking of your wife, I thought you were supposed to go pick her up.”
Austin glanced at his watch. “I have exactly fifteen minutes. That was the deal. Drive back and drop her at her parents’ house for three hours of time with her mom then I swoop in. We all meet up again tomorrow.”
“What’s with all the back and forth between houses? Why not just stay over there?”
“Lila. Carrie is dying to meet Lila. I’m surprised she could wait three extra hours.”
Spence should have seen that landmine before he trampled right through it. “I’m stunned you let her out of your sight that long.”
“You should talk.”
“Meaning?” he asked then immediately regretted it. This was exactly the conversation he wanted to avoid. Enough people in Holloway were talking about his love life. The Fall of Spencer Thomas was bigger news than the holiday sales, and Spence didn’t need Austin jumping in.
Austin dug through the bowl of chips and came out with a handful. “You’re living with her.”
“Wrong.”
He ate one then another chip, stretching out the discussion longer than necessary. “Her clothes are in your bedroom and all her brushes and junk are in your bathroom.”
There were some downsides to living in the same house with your brother. Separate floors sometimes failed to provide enough privacy. “You searching through her things now?’
“I can see evidence when it’s right in front of me without digging through anything.” Austin put his hand to his mouth and poured in the chip crumbs.
“She can’t stay at the campground and she can’t stay at Dad’s place since he’ll be home tonight for the holiday.”
Austin brushed his hands on his jeans as he surveyed the beverage tray. For the guy who insisted on exploring this topic, he sure acted like food was more important. “You’re saying you’re acting as her hotel.”
“Exactly.” Spence turned to get some plates out of the cabinets so he wouldn’t have to see the mix of disappointment and disbelief in Austin’s eyes. “There’s nothing else there.”
“Really?”
“That’s all. Some fun between adults.”
Austin’s smile fell. “You can’t be serious.”
“It’s not serious. That’s my point. Sex and fun. You used to understand that theory.”
“Uh, Spence.”
“You married guys act like every date is a step toward engagement. Sometimes it’s just a few dates. Nothing special.”
There was a knock against the wall the second before Travis’s deep voice cut through the room. “Excuse us.”
Spence spun around. Travis and Austin stood on either side of Lila. Her expression stayed blank, unreadable, but Travis was all but spitting fire.
“Hey.” Spence tried to rewind his comments and figure out what had Austin looking so guilty. “We were just about to bring some drinks up.”
No one said anything for what felt like a good ten minutes but was likely a few seconds only. Finally Lila blinked. She cleared her throat. “I need to go.”
That answered the question. She heard and took it wrong. Whatever he’d said had pushed him right back to the “dick” category in her mind and now she was running. He searched her eyes for pain and hurt. He didn’t see anything. Just a bottomless empty gray, and that scared him more than tears.
“Why?” he asked even though he knew.
She shrugged. “Nothing special.”
Damn it. He didn’t want to do this here, not with an angry audience, but the guys weren’t budging and she looked ready to bolt. “Lila, I—”
“It’s okay, Spence. This should be a family day.” She patted Travis’s arm. “I’ll see you all tomorrow for Christmas Eve dinner as planned.”
When she left, Spence came around the kitchen island, meaning to follow, but Austin and Travis closed in on him. They blocked the path and their matching flatlined lips suggested he’d have to go through both of them to get to her.
“What is the matter with you?” Austin’s question came out as a harsh whisper.
Guilt turned to anger and Spence had two prime targets right in front of him. “This isn’t your business.”
“You basically told her she didn’t matter,” Travis said, his voice vibrating as he spoke.
“I didn’t say anything like that.”
“The loner crap and your theory about relationships being temporary.” Austin looked at the ceiling, mumbling something about being so smart and so dumb at the same time. “Why are you spouting that bullshit?”
“I didn’t know she was standing there. There isn’t a room in this house right now where I can have a second of privacy.”
Travis kept shaking his head. Said something undecipherable under his breath, too. “For a smart guy you are acting really dumb.”
Austin shook his head. “Damn, Spence. Did you see her face?”
Saw and was destroyed by it. The flat eyes hit him like a shot to the throat. And the way the light drained from her face, he could go a lifetime without seeing that again. “She understood what I was saying.”
Travis swore under his breath. “You really are an idiot.”
The fury inside Spence unleashed. All the gossip and Austin’s nagging. It all piled up and came spilling out of Spence. “I’ve about had it with the namecalling.”
Austin joined in Travis’s fury, complete with a clenched jaw and wide-legged battle stance. “That’s too damn bad.”
“Maybe marriage has turned your brain to mush, but not every guy sees relationships like you do.” Spence turned to Travis for support. “Right?”
“I’d like to think if I found the right one I wouldn’t be too blind or stupid not to notice.” Travis exhaled, visibly bringing his anger back under control. “You know she’s falling for you, right?”
Spence shut that thought out. Pushed it out of his head and refused to think about it because if he did then he’d have to admit that he’d made a miserable mess of every dealing he had with her. “No.
”
“Do you really not see it?” The shock was evident in Austin’s voice. Spence would have to be deaf not to hear it.
The doubleteam had Spence on the defensive and he hated the feeling, being verbally shoved around, having everything he said challenged. It set off something hot and fiery inside him. “Not everyone goes from dating and sex to the altar. And the ones that do...well, we’ve all seen how most of those work out.” Spence’s shout bounced off the walls and echoed through the house. Once out, he felt winded and achy. He stood there but his mind was with Lila. He wanted to find her and explain he’d been trading barbs with Austin.
“Meaning?” Austin asked.
“Is long-term even realistic? Look around. Maybe a guy is smarter to not take the leap.”
“Wait, do you think Austin’s marriage is temporary?” Travis asked.
No good could come of that conversation. Not with Austin standing there. Not at the holidays. “I’m not getting sucked into this crap.”
Spence tried to shove Austin to the side, but Austin pushed back. He held Spence with a hand pressed against his chest. “Answer the man’s question.”
“This isn’t—”
“Spence. Now.”
With their gazes locked, Spence gave in. “Okay, yes. I think it’s probably temporary.”
Travis walked to the far side of the kitchen, shuffling his boots against the tile. “Damn, Spence. All those degrees and such a warped view of commitment.”
Austin’s hand dropped and his mouth stayed open. He didn’t move. He just stood there, staring.
Seeing the confusion and touch of pain in Austin’s eyes, Spence rushed to explain. “Not because of you or because you’ll cheat or get bored or whatever. It’s just the way of things. Natural.”
They both stared at Spence now with eyes narrowed. It was as if they held their breath, waiting for the next stupid thing to come out of his mouth. He tried again. “One day, not soon and I’m not saying Carrie will want to, but she’ll leave. It will kill her, and a part of her will fight it, but she’ll go. Regardless of the plans you’ve made or what happens to her, it will break you, Austin. Rip you right in half. I dread that fucking day like nothing in this world but I know it’s coming.”
Romancing the Holiday Page 10