Reverie

by Rico, Lauren

  “Hi, Cal,” I say, greeting him with a smile, that he does not return.

  “Julia, do you have a second?” he asks, nodding his head toward the end of the hall, which is deserted.

  “Uh, yeah, sure,” I say, glancing at my watch. “I have five minutes before class starts.”

  We walk a few doors down and stop.

  “I, uh– I saw you with Jeremy earlier today. Kissing him,” he begins quietly.

  Oh. So that’s what this is about.

  “I don’t really know how to get into this,” he begins.

  “Into what?”

  He looks down at his feet for a moment, as if there might be some secret store of courage down there. I guess he finds it, because when he looks up, there is determination in his blue eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago.

  “What’s bothering you, Cal?” I press, even though I think I already know the answer.

  “It’s like I said to you the other night in the diner, Jeremy is a complicated guy. He can be a difficult guy. He’s dated a lot of girls here at McInnes and it never ends well. I’m just concerned that you don’t know what you’re getting into with him.”

  I lean forward and put a hand on his wrist.

  “Listen, I respect you, but I’m not going to get in the middle of whatever it is that’s going on with you and Jeremy. Besides, we’re just sorta spending time together right now,” I say. “Hanging out.”

  Cal doesn’t look at all convinced.

  “I don’t know how to say this any other way, so I’m just going to say it. In my experience, Jeremy Corrigan never does anything for anyone unless it benefits him.”

  Okay, now I’m starting to get irritated. I get that he’s disappointed that I’m more into Jeremy than him, but that’s no reason for Cal to go around spreading lies like that.

  “I think maybe we should just let this go right here,” I say, softly but firmly. “I like Jeremy a lot, and I have no reason to stop seeing him.”

  “Believe me, you don’t want to have a reason to stop seeing him. By then it’ll be too late.”

  “Now you’re just being dramatic,” I say, straightening up and backing away a little.

  “Does Matthew know you’re seeing him?” Cal asks suddenly.

  “Since when do I need Matthew’s permission– or yours for that matter?”

  He looks as if I’ve slapped him. This is exactly what I didn’t want to have happen. I sigh and rub my forehead with one of my hands. After a moment, I make a concerted effort to soften my tone.

  “You’re a good friend, Cal, and I appreciate your concern, but it’s just not necessary.”

  He shakes his head again, looking at me a little sadly now.

  “Please be careful, Julia,” he says, just before he turns around and walks away.

  18

  “Jules, please stop worrying, it’s going to be fine,” Jeremy says, looking down into my fear-filled eyes with his calm, steady ones.

  “But what if he hates it? What if he says I need to play a different piece? I know it sounds silly, Jeremy, but I just have my heart set on the Rachmaninoff,” I say, trying to convey my concerns, without sounding whiney.

  He smiles and shakes his head.

  “He’s not going to hate it, Jules. You’ve got this. And you won’t be alone in there, I’ll be right beside you. We’ll do it together.”

  Together. Now that’s a nice word. And, it does the trick. I nod firmly, and give a rap on the studio door before opening it slowly. Dr. Sam looks up from where he’s sitting at his desk, writing something in his notebook.

  “Hello, Julia!” he says. When the door swings open further to reveal Jeremy, his eyebrows go up in surprise. “And Mr. Corrigan. To what do we owe the honor?” he asks jovially.

  “I’m actually here in my capacity as an amateur accompanist for the lady, Dr. Michaels.”

  “I see. So you’ve been working together on the Rachmaninoff then?”

  “Yes, Sir,” I say, with a nod, as I get myself settled in the seat next to my professor.

  Dr. Sam seems to consider this for a moment, then he moves from his desk to the chair next to mine so he can watch the music on my stand as I play.

  “Alright. Mr. Corrigan,” he says once he’s situated, “help yourself to the piano over there, and you kids can get started whenever you’re ready.”

  Jeremy does as instructed, setting up the piano part and watching me for the signal to start playing. I give him the slightest nod and we begin.

  The piece is even more beautiful than when we played it together the first time. He starts, I join in. With our respective instruments we embrace, we whisper, we speak of love without uttering a single word. I realize as the movement ends that I haven’t taken my eyes off of him even once. I’ve played every note from memory.

  Now, dropping the bow to my side, I hesitantly turn toward Dr. Sam, a little afraid to see what his reaction is.

  He’s just sitting back in his chair, chin resting on folded hands, as if he’s contemplating the fate of the world. I guess he’s contemplating the fate of my world. Jeremy and I both sit perfectly still and wait silently until he looks up. It takes him a full thirty seconds. And then he nods slowly.

  “I have to admit, Julia, I didn’t think there was any way you were going to come back with this thing ready to go. And yet, here you are. And there it is.”

  I squint at him quizzically.

  “Uh, I’m sorry, Dr. Sam, is that a yes or a no?” I ask.

  His face erupts into the broad smile he reserves for only my most spectacular moments.

  “That, my dear, is a resounding yes!”

  Out in the hallway later on, I throw my arms around Jeremy’s waist and squeeze him as hard as I can. Which isn’t very hard, but it still gets the point across.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

  He pats my back and rests his chin on the top of my head.

  “Don’t thank me. That was all you in there, Jules.”

  “Hey,” I say, nearly knocking his teeth out as I look up at him excitedly. “Stay over again tonight?”

  Yikes. Did that sound too clingy?

  “Unless you want to spend some time at home…” I quickly qualify.

  “Well, I’m out of clothes. I’m already wearing what I had on Friday. If I come in with the same sweatshirt and jeans again tomorrow people will really start to talk!” he says with a laugh.

  “Oh, of course! No problem. You can stay another night…”

  “I just need to go home and check in on a few things. Tomorrow night for sure, okay?”

  I smile, trying not to show my disappointment. I guess it’s just as well; a little sleep wouldn’t be a bad thing.

  “You bet. I’d say I’ll cook for you, but then you might never come over again.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe I’ll pick up a pizza on the way,” he smiles and bends down to give me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you later. When are you going to be home?”

  “Uh, well, I think I’ll put in a couple hours here practicing. Then I think a nice hot bath and an early night in bed.”

  A suggestive smile crosses his face.

  “Hmmm. Don’t tempt me, Jules.”

  I start to walk away from him, toward the stairs.

  “Maybe bubbles, too,” I say over my shoulder. “Oh, and candles. I do love to bathe by candlelight…”

  As I turn the corner he’s still standing there, shaking his head and smiling at me. Hah! He’s not the only one who can play dirty!

  ****

  I revel in my man-free house by taking a ridiculously long, hot shower and curling up on the couch with a glass of wine and the book I’ve been trying to start for months. Unfortunately, I’m so relaxed that I fall asleep before I can enjoy either. When the phone rings, just after midnight, it takes me a while to find it under me, in between the cushions.

  Hah! I knew Jeremy couldn’t go the whole night without calling.

  “Hello…?” I say, in w
hat I hope will pass for a sultry tone.

  Silence.

  I look at the phone, which is what I should have done in the first place. This isn’t Jeremy at all. Damn! I really need to give him his own ringtone.

  “Matthew? You there?” I ask in a more normal voice.

  “Yeah, sorry. I, uh, I didn’t mean to call you so late. Did I wake you?”

  “That’s okay, I fell asleep reading on the couch,” I say gently. He sounds a little off.

  “I was just missing you,” he says softly.

  Ah, so he’s homesick.

  “I miss you, too. How was the concert tonight in– where are you again?”

  “Boston. I got here last night. You were supposed to call me, remember?”

  Crap! How could I have forgotten? Jeremy, that’s how. He has a way of making me lose track of time.

  “Oh my God, Matthew, I’m so sorry! It just totally slipped my mind!”

  I wait for his irritation, but it doesn’t come.

  “I thought maybe you were pissed about the other night, and you didn’t want to talk to me,” he says with an odd tone to his voice.

  What is up with him?

  “No, it wasn’t anything like that! I swear, I just forgot. Tell me about it now. How did the concert go?”

  “It went pretty well, actually. We’ve got another one here tomorrow night and then we move on to Philly. I was thinking I might try to come home this weekend…”

  Oh, no! I’m really not ready to have the Jeremy conversation with him yet.

  “…But I’m just so damned tired, I think I’m going spend it sleeping in the hotel room instead.”

  “Oh, that’s a good idea,” I say, trying not to sound relieved. “Hey, I got the okay from Dr. Sam to do the Rachmaninoff.”

  “Of course you did,” he says, as if he never had a doubt. “And how’s it going with… who did you say you were seeing?”

  “Nice try, Sherlock,” I groan. “I didn’t say.”

  “But you thought I was him calling, right?”

  Busted.

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m sorry I was such an ass on the phone the other night. All I want is for you to be happy, and if that’s with someone else, then so be it. I’ll always support you no matter what, Julia. You know that you can count on me, right?”

  He’s sounding a little sentimental now. I wonder how many little bottles are gone from the minibar in his hotel room.

  “Of course I do.”

  “Please, just promise me you’ll be careful.”

  “I’m always careful, Matthew.”

  “No, actually, you’re not, Julia. You lead with your heart. I’m just afraid you’re gonna get hurt.”

  Oh, yeah. We’re talking at least three shots of the vodka. Maybe four.

  “I just think you want to live happily ever after,” he’s saying.

  Four. Definitely four shots.

  “And what’s wrong with that?” I ask.

  “Nothing. But it’s not always reality.”

  “Can we please not do this right now?” I ask, with just a hint of irritation.

  “What?”

  “This. This lecture on the darker side of human nature and how fragile I am.”

  “Fine,” he says flatly. “I’ll spare you the lecture then.”

  Damn! I’ve offended him now.

  “Matthew, wait…”

  “Goodnight, Julia.”

  I start to say something but he has already hung up on me. I think about calling him back, but I know he won’t pick up. Instead I poke out a text on my phone and send it with a swoosh.

  I’m sorry. I love you. Good night.

  I take a deep breath and pull the covers over my head, but somehow I don’t think sleep will return anytime soon.

  19

  “Come with me,” he says, staring intently at me from the other end of the couch where my feet are in his lap.

  “What? To Denmark?”

  “Yeah, why not?”

  “Jeremy, you’re crazy! You’re talking about going there to take an audition. That’s not the time to be playing tourist. You need to be focused and I’d just be a distraction.”

  “Exactly! Don’t you see? You’d take the edge off my nerves. You’re so stable, Julia. There’s something very… calming about you. I think it would be a good thing for me to have you around. And, when I’m done, then we can play tourist.”

  I don’t know what to say.

  “Can I think about it for a little while?” I ask finally.

  He smiles smugly, as if he’s already won the battle.

  “Only if you think about it in bed.”

  Oh my. Now that’s a tempting thought, as always.

  “Hmmm…” I say, putting a finger under my chin and looking up at the ceiling as I pretend to ponder.

  “Yeah, you’re taking too long,” he says, getting to his feet and coming to where I’m sitting on the couch. He takes the wine glass from my hand and sets it on the table before bending over and literally tossing me over his shoulder.

  I shriek in surprise and start to kick.

  “Hey! Put me down!” The childish delight in my squeals belies my demand.

  Jeremy ignores me as he carries me easily over to the kitchen and sets me on top of the breakfast bar so that we are face to face.

  We are connected only by his lips as he manhandles my sweater.

  “Hey! Don’t pull it, I like this sweater!” I protest as it gets stuck around my ears.

  “I’ll buy you a new one,” I hear him say through the cashmere blend as he frees it with a yank.

  And then he’s onto the bra, slipping the straps from my shoulders and dipping his hands into the cups. He fondles both sides at the same time as he leans against me for a kiss. Did I just gurgle? Who knows? When Jeremy touches me my body does all kinds of unexpected things. I’m wearing a skirt and he’s hiking it up and up and up until I feel cold granite on my backside.

  “You know, I do have a bed…” I mutter.

  “No time,” he says.

  “What do you mean ‘no time’?”

  He tugs my panties down roughly and his jeans hit the kitchen floor a few seconds later.

  Ah. That’s what he means.

  As he leans into me, I wrap my legs around his waist and he pushes forward with so much force that I gasp loudly.

  He groans his approval of both the gasp and my body.

  I have to place my hands behind me to keep from sliding back on the slippery surface.

  “God, I love you like this. Just like this,” he murmurs, as he grabs me from behind and pulls himself harder into me.

  I can’t even formulate words at this point. I don’t want him to stop. Ever. But this is that incredibly satisfying little carnal encounter known as the quickie.

  “Oh, God. Oh, God...” I’m moaning loudly and he’s picking up the pace that pushes me right over the edge.

  My orgasm comes with such intensity that I find I’m digging my nails into his back, holding on for dear life. Apparently the nails do the trick for him, too.

  “And you said you were no good in the kitchen,” he says, as we both struggle to catch our breath.

  I start to giggle. He starts to chuckle. Within a few seconds the two of us, sweaty, half-naked and still on the breakfast bar are laughing so hard that neither of us hears the key in the front door.

  20

  When I see Matthew standing there, I freeze, mid-laugh. Jeremy can’t see him, but he can see the look on my face and turns his head. The three of us are frozen in a horrific tableau. I hop off the counter and quickly pull my skirt down while Jeremy awkwardly grabs his pants from around his ankles. I want Matthew to turn around, to at least give us a second of privacy, but he refuses to look away, his eyes moving from me to Jeremy, and back again.

  His face is expressionless.

  Shit. This is bad. This is really, really bad.

  “Uh… Matthew, I didn’t expect you till tomorrow afternoon,”
I say, as I fumble with the buttons on my blouse.

  “Clearly.”

  “Matthew…” Jeremy starts to speak, but the glare that Matthew levels on him stops him cold.

  I put a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder.

  “I think you’d better go home for tonight. I need to talk to Matthew alone,” I say softly.

  He shakes his head.

  “Uh-uh. No way.”

  “Please, Jeremy. Please do this for me. I promise, I’ll call you later tonight.”

  His eyes search my face for a moment before he picks up his keys from the counter. He takes a long, hard look back at Matthew before he opens the door and walks out, leaving me alone with the one person I love most in this world. Only, he doesn’t look like he loves me very much right now. In fact, he looks like he might actually hate me. I lick my lips nervously and come around the counter so we are standing face to face. When he finally speaks he spits the words out of his mouth in the most frightening tone I’ve ever heard.

  “Really, Julia? Jeremy Corrigan? That’s who you bring into our home?”

  He’s pointing at the door from which Jeremy has just exited the apartment.

  “That’s who’s been sleeping in your bed?”

  “Matthew…”

  His face is getting redder by the second, and he won’t let me get a word in.

  “I don’t believe you. Here I am thinking that maybe you’ve finally met the guy. Afraid you’ve finally met the guy. The one who’s going to give you whatever it is that I don’t seem to be able to give you. But it’s him.”

  He stomps past me and into the living room, raking his hand through his light brown hair.

  “And what is so wrong with him?” I ask his back.

  “I can’t believe that you don’t see it.”

  “See what? Matthew, is this about his brother? About you and Brett? Because I know the two of you don’t get along, but Jeremy isn’t his brother, you know.”

  He swivels around to face me again, looking even more agitated, if that’s possible.

  “No. This has nothing to do with Brett, though he’s just as bad. Julia, Jeremy isn’t the guy for you. And you’re definitely not the girl for him.”