Reverie

by Rico, Lauren

  “Yeah, of course. And the third?”

  Tony Ruggiero puts down his coffee cup and pulls a small folded piece of paper from his pocket.

  “I think you two need to take a little trip to Philly. There’s someone there you really should speak with in person,” he says, handing Matthew the paper. “And I don’t think you should wait. She could change her mind at any minute.”

  “Alright,” Matthew says with a firm nod. “We’ll be on the first flight out in the morning.”

  52

  The thing I remember most about Laurie Daughtry, was the way her long blonde hair would swing from side to side as she played her flute. The thing that I liked most about Laurie Daughtry, was that way she always had a smile for me. I was an incredibly shy freshman, out of the care of the foster system for the first time in over a decade. She was a sophomore with an easy, outgoing personality and a great sense of humor. Everybody loved Laurie. And what a talent! It was plain to us all that she was headed for big things.

  The woman that I spot now, in this park outside of Philadelphia, has short dark hair in a severe blunt cut. She’s painfully thin, her skin pale and pasty. Despite the overcast sky, most of her face is hidden behind huge sunglasses. At Tony’s suggestion, I have come alone, to this meeting anyway. Matthew is waiting in a coffee shop a few blocks away.

  “Hi, Julia,” she says with a small smile when I approach her.

  “Hey, Laurie. It’s good to see you,” I say, joining her on the bench where she’s sitting. “Thanks for agreeing to see me.”

  “I wasn’t going to. But your friend, Tony… well, he’s very persuasive.”

  “Yeah, he thought it was important that we speak.”

  She nods and gives me the briefest smile before turning away to face forward, looking off in the distance. I can see that behind the big, dark lenses, there are big, dark circles under her eyes. Is that how I look right now? Pale and haunted? Just another victim of Jeremy Corrigan?

  “What happened to you?” I ask her quietly. “One day, you were on the fast track at McInnes and the next day, you disappeared.”

  She shifts a little uncomfortably and clears her throat.

  “I dated Jeremy for a while. You probably know that much, right?”

  “Vaguely…” I lie to her.

  Who wouldn’t remember those two beautiful people walking through the hallways holding hands and sneaking kisses back stage? They were hard to miss.

  “Yeah, well, it was really nice at first. He was so… attentive. He showered me with gifts and expensive dinners. One night, he surprised me with a carriage ride around Central Park. He was all about the grand, romantic gestures.”

  She pauses here and moves her gaze slightly, looking further into the distance. I wait, watching her take a tentative breath before she speaks again.

  “Then things got weird. He started to make mean little comments, always taking jabs at me. How I looked, how I played. He wanted to know where I was every second of every day, but refused to give me any details about where he had been all night. Pretty soon, he was flirting openly with other girls and bragging about having sex with them.”

  My stomach is churning with every detail that spills from her lips. I think of his little digs and mysterious nights out. I picture the waitress in the restaurant on New Year’s Eve. Dear God, it could so easily be me telling this story.

  “That’s when I was done,” Laurie is saying now. “I just stopped. There wasn’t a big break-up or anything. I just… stopped answering his calls. I got in and out of rehearsals as quickly as I could, and surrounded myself with other people, knowing that he wouldn’t try to confront me unless I was alone.”

  I remember when this happened. There was a lot of buzz around the orchestra that Laurie had dumped Jeremy. And, knowing him the way I do now, I’m quite sure that gossip would have made him furious.

  “One day he managed to catch me alone on the sidewalk. He was actually very nice, very apologetic. He said he knew he’d been a jerk and promised to leave me alone if that was what I wanted. Of course, I felt like an idiot, like I had overreacted. He asked if I’d like him to bring my things from his apartment. Somewhere in my mind, I thought I would be better off coming to him. I felt better with the thought that Brett would be there. So, we decided on a meeting at his place in Brooklyn the next night.”

  She pauses now, just stops and gazes at the nannies pushing strollers carrying their bundled charges. It’s a parade of tiny little hats with tiny little pompons and mittens. Laurie looks at them wistfully before she continues.

  “Anyway,” she says after a few moments, “I went to his place on a Friday night. Brett was there, too. Jeremy offered me a glass of wine. I said ‘no thanks’ and did a quick scan of the room for my things. I didn’t see a box or a bag anywhere. That made me a little nervous, so I told him I was in a bit of a hurry. He asked me who I was off to fuck now. When I told him to go to hell, he slapped me. Hard. I was so stunned, I just stood there holding my face. He was going on and on about how no bitch was going to make him look bad. The next thing I knew, he had me by the hair and was dragging me to his bedroom.”

  I can’t help myself, I gasp out loud. This is so much worse than I’d imagined.

  “Surely Brett must have done something…” I say, hoping to hear that he had. But I know better.

  She gives me a rueful smile.

  “Julia, I begged him to help me. Do you know what he said? ‘Sorry, Laurie, this is where I get off.’ Then, he picked up his keys and left me alone with that animal. Just walked right out the door knowing full well what was about to happen.”

  Before I can think about whether or not it’s appropriate, I have asked the question.

  “Laurie… what did happen?”

  She takes a deep breath and blows it out through pursed lips, steeling herself for the rest of her story.

  “He started to rip my clothes off. Literally ripped them from my body. When I fought him, he punched me in the face so hard he broke my jaw. The pain was unbearable, and it was all I could focus on, even as he was pushing me onto the bed.”

  Her voice chokes here and she looks away from me again, but not before I see the tears starting to stream from behind the glasses. I wait in silence, until she’s ready to speak again.

  “He raped me, Julia. Raped me, and beat the shit out of me for over two hours. The worst of it was that the whole time he talked about my three sisters. He recited their names and ages, the schools they attended and what each one looked like. He told me that if I breathed a word of it to anyone, he would hurt them, too. I saw it in his eyes, Julia, he meant it.”

  “My God…” I murmur from behind the hand that covers my mouth.

  “When he was through with me, he helped me into the shower and bathed me. It was all very… tender. I could barely stand at that point. He brushed my hair gently and found some clean clothes I’d left there. Then, he helped me downstairs, hailed a cab and told the driver to take me to the hospital, that I’d had a bad fall down the stairs. I never saw him again. My parents came and brought me back home, and I withdrew from McInnes the next week.”

  “Laurie, I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” I say, shaking my head.

  Part of me is stunned by her revelation. Part of me is not.

  “Julia, your friend Tony told me a little bit about what happened between you and Jeremy. That’s the only reason that I agreed to see you. You need to know that you’re in danger as long as you are a threat to him in any way. I’ve been following the Kreisler Competition. You and I both know that there was nothing accidental about Cal Burridge’s death. If Jeremy thinks, for even a second, that you could somehow implicate him… well, I can only imagine how far he’d go to protect himself, his reputation.”

  “So… you think he killed Cal too?” I ask.

  “I don’t doubt it for a second,” she replies, almost before I can get the question out. I’m about to ask her something else, but she’s suddenly looking at me so strangel
y, so intently. She finally takes her sunglasses off and I feel as if this woman can see right through me. And, as it turns out, she can.

  “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

  It’s more of a statement than a question. I find I can only nod, dumbly.

  “Does he know?”

  I shake my head.

  “Good, try and keep it that way.”

  “You can’t think he’d… that he’d hurt me… not like that, do you? Not if he knew…”

  Now Laurie is looking directly at me. She puts the glasses in her lap and reaches into her mouth, pulling out what looks like a denture. She smiles at me, and I see the gaps where there should be teeth. She pops the appliance back in.

  “He knocked out six of my teeth that night. I’ll never play the flute again. I know he’d hurt you. Julia, he’d kill you in a heartbeat if you were so much as an inconvenience to him. And believe me, he’s going to see your pregnancy as an inconvenience. If they can’t get him on Cal’s murder, then I strongly suggest you do what I did. Get out of town. Get as far away from the Corrigan brothers as you can and don’t ever look back.”

  Before I can say another word, Laurie Daughtry stands up and starts to walk away from me. She never once looks back.

  For the first time in weeks, I consider myself lucky.

  ****

  Matthew is holding my hand as the plane banks south toward home. I told him about my conversation with Laurie, including her guess that I’m pregnant. It’s been hanging over us like a brewing storm cloud for hours now.

  “I know…” I start, and then stop.

  “You know what?” Matthew coaxes gently.

  I take a deep breath and try it again.

  “I know you probably think I should have an abortion…”

  “What?”

  This one word, spoken with such shock, stops me mid-sentence.

  “I mean, don’t you?”

  He turns to face me, as much as he can within the constraints of the airplane seat, and looks directly into my eyes.

  “Julia, I may hate Jeremy, but that baby is a part of you. I would never want you to destroy a part of yourself,” he says, his voice low and intense. “I’m not saying it’s not right for other women, but I know you almost as well as you know yourself. There’s no way you could live with yourself if you went through with it.”

  In one, overwhelming wave of understanding, I realize that this, right here, this is what true love looks and sounds like. It’s not the sexy guy with the crinkly eyes, who is great in bed. At least, it wasn’t in my case. No, it’s the one man who has been, just as he is now, by my side, holding my hand. I have disappointed him and angered him. I have sent him away. But he never stops coming back. He never stops loving me.

  I open my mouth to speak and quickly close it again. There are tears sliding down my cheeks now. I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder. He rests his chin on my head.

  “There’s so much, Matthew,” I whisper through the tears. “I don’t know what to feel first. I’m so, so sad. I didn’t know it was possible to be this sad. I should be furious with him, but I’m just not there yet. Oh, God… and the baby…”

  His voice above me is quiet, but firm.

  “You need to think of this as grief, Julia, because that’s what it is. You’re mourning the loss of someone you… someone you loved. Someone you trusted. There are stages to mourning, you know, like denial, anger, and acceptance. Well, I’m thinking the anger piece isn’t too far off. And then, one day, you’ll wake-up and it won’t hurt quite so much. But that could be tomorrow, or a year from now.”

  I’m nodding, too choked up to speak. Small gulps and hiccups and gasps are slipping out of me as I fight the urge to weep openly in front of this plane full of strangers.

  “And as for the baby, well, that’s just fucking terrifying.”

  And just like that, the tears turn to laughter.

  “It is, isn’t it? It’s fucking terrifying!” I whisper back to him.

  “You’re going to be a mother, Julia,” he says with a smile in his voice.

  “I’m going to be a mother,” I repeat, my hand instinctively finding its way to my belly.

  “It’s going to be okay. I promise you, Julia. I will be by your side no matter what, for as long as you want me there. You’re not going to have to do this alone.”

  I look up at him with my tear-stained face and he smiles down on me.

  “I love you so much, Matthew. And I’ve treated you so badly…”

  He shakes his head sharply.

  “No. No, we’re not doing that. Ever. You are not to feel guilty about any of this, Julia. There were so many things that were out of your control.”

  “But you knew, and I wouldn’t listen. And now…”

  “And now, your heart is broken. I understand. And I’ll do whatever I can to make it a little easier for you, but like I said, it’s grief. It takes as long as it takes.”

  I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to fully get over Jeremy Corrigan, but the words of Laurie Daughtry have definitely put me on a faster track.

  53

  Roberto Vasquez is peering at us from across the narrow table in this tiny, beige, cinderblock room. A one-way mirror hangs on one wall and there are cameras mounted in the corners. On the cop shows they call it ‘The Interrogation Room’ or simply, ‘The Box.’ Vasquez claims this is the most private place for the three of us to talk, but I have the distinct feeling that someone is watching us from behind that mirror, mirror on the wall.

  He clears his throat and opens up a small notepad in front of him.

  “So, tell me exactly what you saw, Miss James.”

  I sit up tall in the metal chair and meet his eyes squarely.

  “I followed Jeremy Corrigan up onto the stage while he and the conductor were trying to help Cal. While the Maestro was talking to Cal, trying to get him to stay responsive, Jeremy moved Cal’s horn out of the way. That’s when I saw him take the mouthpiece out of Cal’s horn, put it in one pocket and pull another one out of his other pocket. That was the one he put back into Cal’s horn. I think Jeremy may have put something on the first mouthpiece that caused Cal to have an allergic reaction, and switched it out so there wouldn’t be any trace of it.”

  Vasquez is nodding as he jots down a few notes in his pad.

  “Why didn't you say something sooner?” he asks, looking up again.

  “I was so upset at the time. I think I must have been in shock. Cal was a friend.”

  “So when did you realize what you’d seen?”

  “I don’t know. A few days ago, I guess. I didn’t really want to believe it.” I look down at my hands and up again. “I was seeing Jeremy at the time.”

  “But you’re not now?”

  “No.”

  “And who, exactly, broke off the relationship?”

  “Wait,” Matthew interjects. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  Vasquez surveys him with raised eyebrows.

  “Mr. Ayers, if you can’t stay quiet I’ll have to ask you to step out.”

  “Excuse me? We came to you!”

  “Exactly. And I have to wonder why. I mean, if you were all such good friends, why did it take you over a week to come forward with this information?”

  “I just told you…” I start to protest but he cuts me off.

  “Miss James, isn’t it true that Mr. Corrigan broke off your relationship two days after Cal Burridge’s death?”

  “Well, yes but…”

  “Is it possible, Miss James, that you’re just hurt and angry and looking to get back at him for dumping you like that right before your recital?”

  I’m staring at him in disbelief. Something isn’t right here.

  “Detective Vasquez,” Matthew starts, “neither of us said anything about the circumstances of their break-up. How would you know the details?”

  He ignores the question and comes back with one of his own.

  “Mr
. Ayers, do you know a Tony Ruggiero?”

  Uh-oh. I’m not sure I like where this is headed.

  “Yes…” he answers cautiously. “Why?”

  “Well, I know him, too. At least by reputation, and I know exactly what kind of work he does. I understand that Mr. Ruggiero has been snooping around, prying into Jeremy Corrigan’s background. Accessing files that he has no authority to access. Did you hire him to do that, Mr. Ayers?”

  How would this man know about that? Unless…

  “Have you spoken with Jeremy?” I ask suddenly.

  He smiles at me. A placating smile that says ‘I don’t have to tell you anything.’

  “I have, actually. He was in here yesterday discussing the possibility of filing a harassment complaint against the two of you and Mr. Ruggiero. I suspect you’ll be hearing from his attorney.”

  I can’t be hearing this correctly. Jeremy kills Cal and we’re the ones who are in trouble?

  “Making a false accusation is a very serious crime, Miss James. Especially when you’re accusing the person of murder. You might just find yourself on the ugly end of a slander suit if you’re not careful,” he says.

  I can tell Matthew has just about had it. He stands up and gestures for me to do the same.

  “We’re not done here,” Vasquez is saying as he gets to his feet, too.

  “Oh, yes we are,” Matthew says. “You’re a fool, detective. Jeremy Corrigan is playing you and you can’t even see it.”

  The officer puts his palms down on the tabletop and leans forward so that he’s only inches from us.

  “What I see, Matthew, is a woman scorned. I see the silver medalist of the Kreisler Competition trying to cast dispersions on the gold medalist, knowing full well that if he’s disqualified, she’ll be next in line to the gold.”

  I can only stare at him, my mouth hanging open. This is exactly what Tony warned us would happen. The whole ‘woman scorned’ thing. Oh my God. This can’t be happening.

  “I– I can’t believe you think that I’d do that,” I stammer in an astonished whisper.