Prince of Hazel and Oak s-2

by John Lenahan

  I smiled at Araf. ‘Well, I guess I showed them who’s boss.’

  Araf didn’t look at me. He seemed to look above me. ‘I can only guess at what boss means,’ he said, ‘but I am guessing that the boss is not you.’

  I turned. That’s when I saw the bears.

  Chapter Twenty

  Tuan

  There were two of them. Kodiak-looking fellows about twenty feet high – or so it seemed at the time. To call them bears would be doing them an injustice, like calling a couple of sabre-toothed tigers kitty-cats. They were actually hairy mountains with teeth and claws. They loped towards us on all fours but as soon as they made eye contact, they stopped and reared up on their hind legs. I mentioned before that the sight of wolves in the forest made my heart skip a beat – well, the sight of these guys at full height produced a code-red cardiac arrest.

  They dropped back to all fours and slowly came towards us. They didn’t look menacing exactly – I think I could have coped with that – their expression was far more terrifying. They looked hungry.

  I heard the creak of Brendan’s bow as he pulled his weapon back to full tension. ‘These guys I can shoot, right?’

  ‘NO,’ came a shout from Essa and Araf.

  Brendan turned to Araf. ‘Why not?’

  ‘It will only make them mad,’ the Imp replied.

  ‘Girls,’ I shouted behind me, ‘you better hack through those trees.’

  ‘No, Conor,’ Essa hissed back.

  ‘You either hack the trees or I have to hack a super bear and I have a suspicion that the bear is going to hack back.’

  ‘We did not come here to kill trees and Pookas,’ Essa said.

  ‘Well, I didn’t come here to get a good look at my lower intestines either. Make a decision or these bears are going to make one for us.’

  A screech tore my wide and terrified eyes away from the approaching colossi. I looked up and saw what at first looked like a falcon, but as I watched the feathers on his wings began to be absorbed into what began to look like arms. The sharp beak disappeared into his widening face; talons extended and became long lean legs. He was fully human when he hit the ground. I’d like to say it was a stunning and graceful manoeuvre but that would be a lie. What I saw was a bird that, in midair, turned into a very naked man that then awkwardly slammed face down into the earth. I’m pretty sure even the bears thought it looked painful.

  As he lay there moaning, one of us really should have asked him if he was all right, but, like the bears, we were frozen in shock. By the time he got up, the bears had seen enough and were moving again. He stood and shouted, ‘BE GONE.’

  Now, I don’t know about you but if a naked man fell from the sky and then, in all of his dingly-dangly naked glory, stood in front of me and shouted, ‘BE GONE,’ then I would probably go. But these Pookas/bears, like the wolves, were not in their right minds – they kept coming. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to step in front of this obviously deranged Pooka and save him from almost certain disembowelment. Of course the other part of me was delighted to have anything between me and the two mountains of slobber, fangs and claws that were heading my way.

  ‘Hey,’ I called to him. When he ignore. What I s tried again. ‘Excuse me, naked Pooka guy. Can we help in any way?’

  He turned to look at me; one side of his face was covered with dirt and grass stains. ‘Stand back,’ he commanded. Then he reached his hand to his neck, dropped his head to his chest and went down onto one knee. It looked like he was praying and I hoped it was a short prayer because the bears were almost on him. I heard Brendan’s bow creak. I couldn’t stand to watch. Just as I was about to turn away, he stood up – then he kept standing up. His feet thinned at the bottom, then his backside grew a tail and widened to the size of a downtown bus. His head grew a rack of flat antlers that must have been as wide as the bears were tall. He grew dark brown short hair all over his body. When the transformation was done, we all stood open-mouthed. It was one of the most impressive things I had seen to date. Standing between us and certain death was what I now know was a prehistoric Celtic deer. Imagine a moose the size of a large elephant and you’ve got the idea. He dropped his antler-adorned head, scratched in the earth with his hind legs and charged.

  The bears didn’t give it a second thought. They scrabbled out of there fast. Mr Moose gave a short chase then changed back into a naked man before collapsing onto the frozen earth.

  Brendan and I ran up to him. ‘Are you all right?’ I asked.

  He replied with moans that then became words. ‘Aahh… leave… this

  … mountain.’

  Araf ran up with a blanket and placed it over him. Without looking up he angrily pushed it off. ‘Leave this mountain.’

  I placed the blanket back over him. ‘Really, you’re going to freeze out here. Can we-’

  He scrambled to his feet with a speed that surprised me. Apart from a gold disc that hung on a wire around his neck, and the mud and dirt, he was still very naked. He spotted Essa and Nieve still working on the trees that blocked the gateway. ‘Get away from there!’ he tried to scream but his voice was tired and thin. They looked but continued. He threw his head back, almost falling over. ‘LEAVE THIS MOUNTAIN!’ he shouted. He staggered as he brought his head down, his eyes still closed. I took a step forward to catch him if he fell. He opened his eyes. I think he expected us to be gone, instead of standing around staring at him. A look of mad anger took over his face. He dropped to his knees and grabbed the medallion around his neck. Brendan, Turlow, Araf and I all took an involuntary step back.

  Black fur sprouted from every pore, his nose blackened and broadened. The teeth changed just before the snout formed, giving us a good look at the fangs. We took another step back. As his height increased he tried to stand. That’s when the transformation stalled then stopped altogether. His eyes blinked rapidly and he shrank quickly into naked Pooka guy again as he fell face first unconscious into Araf’s waiting arms.

  Araf carried him over to the gate where Essa and Nieve had started a small fire and were brewing tea. Essa wrapped him in more blankets while Nieve placed her hands on his temples.

  When she released his head she said, ‘He is exhausted and starving.’

  ‘Was he changing into a bear?’ Essa asked.

  ‘I think so,’ Araf said.

  ‘Very strange,’ Essa said. Everyone, except Brendan and me, nodded in agreement.

  ‘Look, everyone, changing into mooses,’ Brendan said, ‘is mighty strange for me but you people are talking like that’s not strange enough.’

  Essa answered him. ‘Pookas spend decades, centuries, studying how to change into their chosen animal. I have never heard of a Pooka that could change into more than one. This must be some sort of master Pooka.’

  ‘Have you had any joy with the trees?’ Turlow asked.

  ‘No, we cannot pass without hurting the trees,’ Nieve said.

  ‘Then we must hurt the trees,’ Turlow said. ‘I will do it.’

  ‘Slow down, honey,’ Essa said. ‘We have a local here. When he wakes he may help us through.’

  ‘Or he might turn into a wolverine and rip our throats out,’ I said. ‘And did I just hear you call him “honey”?’ I said that last bit loudly. I shouldn’t have but I was a bit stunned. The only thing I could ever imagine Essa calling honey is that yellow stuff that bees make.

  ‘What is wrong with calling my fiance “honey”?’ Essa said with that customary fire in her eyes but also with, maybe, just a touch of embarrassment.

  ‘Yes, Faerie, what is wrong with that?’ her Banshee added.

  I was racking my brains for a suitable quip that would stop me from getting clocked by Essa or stabbed by the Turd-low when I was saved by a moan from the Pooka. We all looked at him.

  His head was resting on Nieve’s lap. He had a mop of sandy blond hair sitting on top of an almost boyish face. As we watched, he opened his eyes; they were piercing blue. Usually it’s the eyes here
in The Land that give away how old a person is, but this Pooka’s eyes confused me. I instantly thought he was very young but then I got a fleeting impression of very old age. After that his peepers were just unreadable. Nieve brushed a piece of grass off of his cheek and smiled at him. It was nice to see such tenderness from my aunt – I certainly hadn’t seen that before.

  The Pooka didn’t get up and when he spoke he was hoarse and hard to hear. ‘You must leave.’ He closed his eyes again and I wondered if he had passed out, but then he opened them and looked at each of us. ‘I can’t protect you,’ he said.

  Nieve sat him up and Essa got some willow tea into him.

  ‘I could have sworn I had some poteen with me,’ Essa said. Brendan gave me a furtive guilty glance.

  A little bit more of the spark of life returned to our shapeshifter with every sip of willow tea. Araf gave him some food and he gobbled it down. With a boyishly guilty look, Brendan produced the almost-finished bottle of poteen and handed it to Essa, who gave him such a dirty look I was sure glad I wasn’t him. A shot of Gerard’s special moonshine brought all the colour back to our patient’s cheeks and maybe a little extra. He sat with us around the fire wrapped in about four blankets.

  ‘We do not seek your protection,’ Essa said, breaking the silence. ‘We seek Queen Rhiannon.’

  Pooka guy made a snorting, laughing sound that I didn’t like and said, ‘Queen Rhiannon is indisposed.’

  ‘None the less, we must see her.’

  ‘You cannot.’

  ‘We have come a long way and will see the Queen with or without your help,’ Essa said.

  He threw off his blankets and stood up. Our friendly fireside guest once again became very angry naked Pooka guy – which was disconcerting, ’cause we were pretty close and seated. ‘You can’t see her. YOU MUST LEAVE.’ His face became repossessed – he reached for his neck.

  ‘Woah, woah, woah, Pooka guy,’ I said, as I grabbed his wrist before his hand made it to his medallion. ‘I don’t know you very well but I don’t think you are up for one of your quick changes. And anyway, there are six of us and we are all pretty handy. You’d have to turn into a T-Rex to stop us.’

  He stood there, unmoving. I wasn’t sure if I was getting through to him.

  ‘It’s OK, really,’ I said, ‘we’re like a royal honour guard here. Me and Araf are princes, those two are princesses and Turlow here is like a king.’ Brendan coughed. ‘Oh yeah, he’s a cop.’

  The Pooka placed his face in his hands. From behind his palms he said, ‘You cannot see her. No one can see her.’

  ‘I have even brought gifts, look.’ I took out the muslin parcel, untied it and displayed the six hazelnuts.

  The look on the Pooka’s face was like that of a man lost in the desert for a week being offered a glass of ice water. ‘Where did you get them?’ he almost whispered.

  ‘From the Tree of Knowledge.’

  ‘You lie, the Tree was destroyed.’

  ‘This is from the new tree. Essa and I planted it ourselves from my grandfather’s hazel wood.’

  The Pooka stared hard at my face. ‘You are Liam’s son?’

  ‘I’m his grandson, Conor.’

  ‘I will take them to her,’ the Pooka said.

  I pulled the hazelnuts out of his reach. ‘No, this is a royal gift from Queen Deirdre of Duir to Queen Rhiannon of Ailm. I was instructed to present it to Her Highness in person or not at all.’

  ‘Lady Deirdre has been found?’

  ‘Ages ago,’ I said.

  ‘I sent a runner to find her. He never returned.’

  ‘Was he a curly-haired guy who changed into a wolf?’

  The Pooka nodded yes.

  ‘He found her but I have bad news, he’s dead.’

  Sadness mixed with resignation crossed the Pooka’s face.

  ‘I’m sorry. Look, is there any way we can have this conversation while you wear clothes? You’re making me cold just looking at you.’

  He took the blanket I offered and wrapped it around himself. I filled him in on all the major news of The Land: Mom and Dad’s and my return, Cialtie getting booted out of Castle Duir and the rebuilding of the Hazellands.

  ‘So you are Deirdre’s son. My sister was your mother’s tutor – she was very fond of her.’ He didn’t have to say any more. The look on his face told me that she must have died when the Hall of Knowledge was attacked. ‘My name is Tuan. I will take you, Prince Conor, to see Queen Rhiannon.’

  He stood and placed his hands on the thick branches that blocked the stone portal, mumbled something in a language I didn’t recognise and the trees creaked up and away. ‘Quickly,’ Tuan said, ‘before the larger animals come back.’

  We grabbed our horses and led them through. As the trees were bowing back down into position, I spotted the pack of wolves eyeing us from among some far trees. They didn’t look happy.

  Inside the wall, small animals, horses and sheep wandered freely. After I unsaddled Acorn I expected him to join the local horses for a frolic but he and the others grazed uneasily close by. Tuan said that the others in my party could make camp where they were and offered to take me alone to see Queen Rhiannon.

  ‘I walk with Prince Conor,’ Araf said.

  ‘No.’ Tuan was adamant. ‘Conor alone may see the Queen.’

  Turlow stood. ‘What is to stop you as soon as you are out of our sight from changing into a bear and taking Conor’s nuts?’

  I hoped he was talking about hazelnuts but either way he had a point. ‘Yeah, what assurance do I have that you won’t go all hairy and fangy?’

  ‘You have my word as a Child of Ailm, but if that is not enough then here.’ He reached for the wire that held the medallion around his neck and it expanded at his touch. He slipped it over his head and dropped the gold disc into my hand.

  I looked to my travelling companions, wordlessly asking them, ‘Should I trust him?’ Tuan stepped away and allowed us to confer.

  Amazingly Araf spoke first. ‘We have come a long way. I do not like leaving you on your own, and if you are hurt I shall have to hide from your mother for the rest of my days, but I think you should go.’

  Nieve and Essa both agreed.

  ‘I think he is exhausted and desperate which makes him unpredictable,’ Brendan said, ‘but I think he is one of the good guys.’

  ‘You thought I was a murderer.’

  ‘Yes, but if you remember I also said that you were not a bad man.’

  Turlow was the sole dissenter. ‘We have his changing medallion. We can force him to take us to the Queen without risk.’ He looked around for support. ‘Oh, don’t look at me like that. This is a desperate place and we have been attacked three times today. Desperate times require desperate measures.’

  I don’t know what the others thought but I was glad of Turlow’s opinion. It’s good to have at least one person on the team that errs on the side of caution.

  ‘Tuan,’ I called, ‘let’s go meet the Queen.’ Then I surprised everybody by handing him back his medallion. ‘If you eat me, make sure you let Essa watch – she’d like that.’

  I turned back to the group and said, ‘If I’m not back in two days

  …’ then realised I didn’t know how to end that sentence. ‘If I’m not back in two days – then I’m dead. You can do what you want.’

  ‘We will be back tomorrow,’ Tuan said. ‘Do not eat any animals. They are not as they seem.’

  Tuan and I walked along the wall until we reached a pile of clothes at the base of a tall pine. Tuan touched the tree and said, ‘Thanks.’ He put on a pair of very baggy brown trousers, a black shirt, a black sealskin coat, some leather boots and a rabbit-fur hat. For a guy that changed into animals, he didn’t seem averse to wearing dead ones. We walked over a ridge until we could no longer see my companions.

  ‘Now is a good a time to change into a wolf and eat me,’ I said.

  ‘I am not that kind of Pooka,’ he replied.

  ‘The ones on the o
ther side of the wall were though – weren’t they?’

  ‘Those Pooka are… they are lost.’

  ‘What do you mean “lost”?’

  I could see he was struggling to come up with an answer. Finally he said, ‘It is not in my power to tell you these things. What you may learn is up to the Queen.’

  The hill levelled out into a broad plateau that led to a thick forest in the distance.

  ‘Any chance of you changing into a horse and giving me a lift?’ I asked, flashing my House of Duir smile. ‘Or would that be too demeaning?’

  Tuan laughed at that. ‘Not demeaning, Prince Conor, just short.’

  But when I asked him what he meant, I got the same stonewalling that I got before. I hoped the Queen was more forthcoming.

  The sun was fully down by the time we entered the forest but a gibbous moon provided enough light for us to navigate. Not far in, the path became broad and ran parallel to a stream. A while later we came upon small bridges that spanned the stream and led to modest huts. I saw neither a person nor an animal. Finally we came to a series of ponds, each with a tasteful two-storey pine cottage with a porch that hung over the water. They reminded me of really nice country hunting lodges. We must have passed about a dozen pond/house combinations before we came to the last and most impressive house. We entered and Tuan lit several oil lamps. The large room was sparse but elegant. It had that minimalist feng shui chic – like it was inhabited by someone who didn’t need earthly things. In the corner was an ornate high-backed chair made from polished white pine.

  ‘Is that the Pine Throne?’ I asked.

  ‘It is. This is Queen Rhiannon’s home.’

  I looked around. ‘Where is she?’

  Tuan walked outside onto the porch. At intervals along the railings there were torches connected by a string of gold wire. The Pooka touched the gold and mumbled something that made a spark zoom around the wire, igniting the torches around the porch and then around the pond. I now got a good look at the outside of the house. It was nice, really nice but I still wouldn’t have taken it to be a royal palace. The light glimmered, mirror-like, off the football-field-sized pond, reflecting the circle of flickering torches.