New Adult Romance Box Set

by Emme Rollins, Julia Kent, Anna Antonia, Helena Newbury, Aubrey Rose

  Oh, God. Have I already given into him? Have I lost all my pride?

  What was wrong with me? Didn’t I always swear I’d never be like the long line of Gabriel’s broken hearts? It wasn’t fair. I wasn’t supposed to be this weak! Not for him, not for anyone.

  “Emma?”

  You are who you are. It’s always been a question of time as to how long you’d be able to hide it. In that way, you’re no different from Gabriel.

  I had to at least appear to be in control. I couldn’t let on to the downward spiral dragging me down. Not without a fight. “Fine. Let’s go into the living room.”

  Gabriel followed me closely. I wasn’t going to bolt but apparently he’d rather be safe than sorry. I sat down on the love seat. Gabriel sat next to me, trouser knee brushing mine, and held my hand.

  “I want you to know I’m not going to lie to you, Emma. No matter how bad it makes me sound. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “What do you want me to answer first?”

  That was easy. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth about Embry?”

  He didn’t hesitate in answering. “Because I didn’t want that relationship to damage the one I’m building with you.”

  “Keeping it from me did more damage than if you’d been truthful.”

  Gabriel winced. “I didn’t love her, Emma. I never did.”

  “Then why were you going to ask her to marry you?”

  He didn’t look away from me even though his words were enough to make me want to weep and scream. “Because I thought she was the best choice for my life.”

  Just breathe. This was before you. It was past tense.

  “Okay, that makes sense.”

  Gabriel squeezed my cold hand. “It did on paper. She’s beautiful and she loved me. I didn’t see why I shouldn’t marry her, especially because my lack of real feelings was no different with her than anyone else.”

  “And don’t forget she’s submissive.” I couldn’t help how sarcastic I sounded. The word that should’ve been an insult was now only an insult about me. I wasn’t submissive. At least not in the way I understood it to be.

  “And she’s submissive.”

  “So why’d you break it off?”

  He turned my hand over and studied it while answering, “I saw you, Emma. The girl I never forgot, the one who stole my heart seven years ago and never gave it back, standing only a few feet away. I couldn’t believe it. The day I was going to propose and there you were.”

  His gaze softened. Gabriel was clearly remembering the moment. I imagined that day, filling in gaps with how I hoped I looked—confident, serene—because I remembered feeling none of those things.

  “Emma, I knew in that moment that I’d been on the verge of making the biggest mistake of my life. I was going to marry someone I didn’t love all because it was the most logical decision. No matter what happens from here on out, I want to thank you for being there right when I needed you.”

  My heart squeezed. I wanted so badly for his words to be the forever truth. I didn’t want him to look back and realized he’d made a mistake. I didn’t want to wreck his life or take away his chance for happiness because I was the wrong girl for the right reason.

  In the end, Gabriel doesn’t want to be alone. And I don’t want that for him either.

  “Then what happened?”

  “That night I told Embry we were through. She stayed in the penthouse and I stayed at a hotel. She didn’t leave it until last Thursday. I wanted to move her out immediately, but I’d already hurt her so badly with my abandonment I didn’t want to rush her out on top of that. Now, I wish I had. I had no idea Embry was going to try to turn you against me. I severely underestimated her. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  His coldness served to remind me of Gabriel’s darker side. I dug further, apparently masochistic in my need to understand just how close Embry had been to keeping the man I loved.

  I can’t let him know that yet.

  “Did you buy the penthouse for her?”

  “I bought it for the life I thought I was going to have with her.”

  Knowing how committed he’d been to her stung more than I’d like. I knew I had no right to be jealous about who he’d been with before me. Still it hurt. “Why didn’t you just come out and tell me, Gabriel? Why’d you pretend she was just some ex?”

  “Because of the pain I see in your eyes right now. I didn’t…no, I still don’t know how to explain my decision to be with someone I didn’t love.” His smooth brow creased as he struggled to make sense of it. “All I could describe it was like living in a fog, Emma. Life didn’t have color or texture. I went with the flow because I couldn’t dream of anything better. All my feelings were numb, you see. I didn’t think myself capable of feeling anything real for anybody. It didn’t matter who loved me because I wasn’t capable of loving them. I know what a piece of shit that makes me.”

  I didn’t deny that. I also didn’t share that I’d felt the same until I let myself open up to him again.

  “I know I hurt you, Emma, and I’m sorry.”

  As much as I didn’t want to point it out, I did. “You hurt her too.”

  Gabriel sighed loudly. Guilt glimmered for a moment in his expressive gaze. “I know I did. I also know I would’ve hurt her worse if I stayed.”

  I studied my hand in his. It seemed safer than letting him see the confusion and shameful need in my gaze. He wanted me enough to upend his life just so he could crash into mine. I should’ve been horrified.

  I wasn’t.

  “Why are you having me followed?”

  Gabriel’s grip tightened briefly. “Because I didn’t want to take the chance that you’d slip away again. Not until I can make you love me.”

  And there it was. Love. Love the great justifier, the emotion that allows any and all actions to be excused—no matter how hurtful.

  Yet whose love was right and pure? Gabriel’s for playing with my life as if I were nothing more than a puppet on his stage? Embry’s for shamelessly manipulating the man she claimed to love? Or me, the girl who ran away seven years before because she was too afraid to believe in him?

  The questions pounded me, relentless.

  Were we all just demented? Was madness inevitable when you dared to fall in love with Gabriel?

  “You know this makes us both unstable, right?”

  “What?”

  “The fact that you can admit to any of this and the fact that I even understand it.”

  His brief smile lacked any trace of humor. “Who wants to be normal, anyways?”

  “Apparently you do.” I girded myself and charged right through. “Why didn’t you tell me about your sexual needs? Did you think I’d turn you down right off the bat?”

  “Wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t think I would.” I took a moment, imagining myself chained to a wall with him wearing nothing but leather pants and wielding a whip. “Actually, I’m not sure.”

  “I wasn’t about to take that chance, Emma. Not with you.”

  “Still, couldn’t you have said something?”

  “It’s hardly the first thing that comes up in conversation. ‘Hello, how are you? I’m fine. Thanks. By the way, did you know that I love to spank girls silly? I also like to tie them up and play with them until they scream?’ Wait. Where are you going?”

  Lust jolted right through me, awakening my body to near-painful awareness. Gabriel in nothing but leather pants took center stage in my mind once more. The whip was replaced with a blindfold.

  That doesn’t scare me at all. In fact, I want to know more…maybe even a demonstration?

  I licked my lips and hoped my voice didn’t betray the lurid thoughts curling about. “All right, I’ll give you that. That isn’t exactly the best conversation starter.”

  Gabriel looked at me and then away. His shoulders drew up even as he attempted to make his voice light and casual. “Aren’t you going to ask about my father? I know I would if
it was the other way around.”

  “Only if you want to tell me.”

  “There’s not much to tell. My father was a very mean piece of work. He beat my mother and then moved in on me when I got big enough to stand up for her. I didn’t want to be anything like him, never imagined I could be, so imagine how I felt when I discovered that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the diseased tree.”

  I ached for him. I could only begin to imagine the torment he suffered at the hands of someone he should’ve been able to trust above all others. The anger I’d seen during high school, the detachment all made sense now.

  “Have you really hurt anyone you’ve been with?”

  “Physically? No. Still, I don’t necessarily feel that great about my needs.”

  “Would you ever do it to someone who wasn’t into pain?”

  His dry laugh brought a pang to my heart. “I’ve never had to. You’ve been the only woman I was with that I’ve never been rough with. I was actually normal with you our one night.”

  “But what about how you said you’d been pretending all this time with me? Why did you do that?” Again, the thought of Gabriel adopting a different persona just to herd me in the direction he wanted...it made me feel a rejected fool.

  “I wasn’t trying to trick you, Emma. I just…I don’t know…I just didn’t want to be how I’d been with everyone else. Not with you. So I just tried to be the man I thought a nice girl like you would want.”

  “Was any of it real?”

  “Yes.” Gabriel looked at me tenderly. He tipped my chin. “That wasn’t fake, Emma. Every smile, every laugh—all of it was real. Please believe me.”

  Relief pounded. “How were you with the others?”

  “Indifferent. Cold. Arrogant.”

  “I got one out of three. I guess that means you weren’t a complete liar.”

  Gabriel knew exactly what I was talking about. “I tried to tone down the arrogance. I guess I didn’t do so well, huh?”

  “No, I think you blew that one right about the time you moved in next door.” We both looked down, awkward because of the identical but inappropriate grins on our faces. “Why did you move in?”

  “Because I didn’t want to scare you off.”

  I cut him a skeptical glance. “Gabriel, normally that would scare a girl off.”

  “Yes, but it was different with us. I know how you feel about my money. I wanted you to see me without all the trappings that make you uncomfortable. Even if I didn’t hate my penthouse, I still would’ve moved in right next door. I just wanted you to see me as a man, not a billionaire.”

  “Weren’t you afraid I’d freak out because of it?”

  “I was willing to take that gamble. And no, I wasn’t that afraid. Not after Friday.” He carefully brushed back a strand of hair off my face. “I didn’t want the night to end. I don’t remember the last time I was that happy. All I could think was ‘This could be forever.’”

  “So did I.”

  “You did?”

  I nodded shyly, overwhelmed by the happiness shining brightly on his handsome face.

  I debated about bringing our lack of sex up. So of course I plunged right to it. “Why haven’t you tried to make love to me yet, Gabriel? I know you want me, but you won’t touch me.”

  A slight flush painted his high cheekbones. “Believe it or not, Emma, I’m actually trying to court you. I don’t want to rush into it because I don’t want you to ever feel I’m just using you for sex.”

  “Is Embry right? Are you afraid of touching me?”

  “I don’t know. I just know I want it to be right with us. I want it to be about love—not about getting off.”

  I bit my lip. “You’re controlling me like this though. All I think about is how much you won’t touch me.”

  Gabriel lowered his head. His body tensed. “Emma, it’s been hell on me. I’ve called myself the stupidest man alive every hour on the hour. I’ve never denied myself anything, and the one woman I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world—I send her home without even a kiss.”

  “You’ve suffered?”

  “Yes!”

  “Good. At least it wasn’t just me.”

  Gabriel leaned closer and whispered, “I’ve made myself come every chance I get. The things I’ve done to you here,” he tapped the side of his head, “is criminal in at least ten states.”

  I tightened my thighs. “I’ve worn my vibrator out over you.”

  He flung his head back and groaned. “I’m so stupid, aren’t I? Why am I even trying to be a gentleman when it’s so clear that it’s making neither of us happy?”

  I feathered my fingertips across his chin. “What if I can’t accept this? You? What will happen then?”

  Gabriel’s smile fell. His gaze hardened. “Then I’ll do anything short of murder until you can.”

  My breath escaped in a rush. What else could be said?

  I stood on the precipice. Logic behind me, Gabriel beneath. I could stand up and throw him out of my apartment. I could go so far as to request police intervention if needed. From then, I could move on with my life as if Gabriel Gordon never existed.

  I did it once. I could do it again.

  I would be firmly in charge of my life, no wealthy master deigning to pull the strings on a whim. I would plow through my goals like always. Soon he would be another memory to add to my collection.

  No Gabriel—no uncertainty.

  No Gabriel—no confusion.

  No Gabriel—no color.

  “I always thought of you as an angel. Now I know you for the devil you are.”

  I took one step and fell.

  There’s no going back from here.

  Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his. Gabriel immediately opened. His tongue slipped inside, sensuously stroking my mouth with long strokes. I moaned raggedly, breathless and ravenous for him. Gabriel roughly pushed me back against the arm of the loveseat. I reached up and grabbed fistfuls of his hair.

  This is what I wanted, had wanted even as I feared it and him.

  I could never go back to a life without Gabriel.

  His hands gripped my hips hard. Gabriel desperately ground against me. He broke our kiss to sink his teeth into my neck. The pressure made me scream in delight.

  I moaned his name, lost and delirious from the feel of his muscled body against mine. My legs scrabbled around his hips, crossing up high around waist. He licked a trail from my neck down to my breasts. He tongued them through my shirt, teasing me with what I couldn’t yet have.

  “More!” I gasped.

  Gabriel looked up at me, damp lips reddened and curled into a wicked grin. He ripped the shirt straight off my body. He immediately swooped back down, pulling my bra away so that my full breasts could pop free. Plumping one breast, Gabriel didn’t tease me any further. He sucked my nipple hard. I arched up, desperately clinging to him as his lips, teeth, and tongue drove needy moans from my throat.

  I fought his zipper. He swept my hand away and pulled it down himself. I palmed the long shaft, purring in hunger when it sprang free from the confines of his briefs.

  “What are you doing to me, Emma?”

  I silenced his pained question with an open-mouthed kiss. Gabriel pushed up my skirt and pushed my underwear out of the way. A deep groan reverberated in his chest when he slid two fingers all the way to the knuckle.

  “You’re so soft and so, so wet.”

  I tilted my hips and rocked madly against his hand. I wanted him to give me everything before I lost my mind.

  “Gabriel, I want you. Now.” When still he hesitated, I held him tighter and begged hoarsely, “Please!”

  He lunged forward. The broad head of his cock nudged at me. I urged him to go faster.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, baby. I have to go slow because you’re so damned tight…”

  I knew he might hurt me, but I didn’t care. Not anymore. Not about anything. “I want it all, Gabriel. Play with me however you
want, just give me what I need.” I angled my hips and impaled myself. A strangled scream broke free. I clung to him as he pushed forward. “Oh, my God!” I moaned over how big he was, how I’d missed feeling him inside me all this time.

  Gabriel crushed me to him, hips rocking faster and faster. Frenzy descended. We clawed our way closer to the other. His skin slapped against mine with erotic intensity. Gabriel branded himself deep within my core. I wasn’t going to last long. Pleasure pulses ricocheted through my body.

  “I’m coming!”

  He immediately slowed his thrusts.

  “No! What are you doing?” I cried out in a panic.

  “Playing with you just for a bit.” Gabriel kissed my ear before biting down on my lobe. “How badly do you want to come, baby?”

  My fingers rhythmically clenched and unclenched. “Very badly.”

  “Good. Then I want you to let go of me. That’s it. Arms up now. Good girl.” Gabriel crossed my wrists and then held both in one hand.

  The vulnerability of my new position made me wetter. I blindly searched for his mouth, unconsciously seeking reassurance that he was still there with me. Gabriel responded immediately. His lips molded against mine as he murmured how much he loved and needed me. I tasted him fully and felt divine from the blessing.

  “Do you like this, baby?”

  “Yes!”

  Gabriel’s craven smile made me groan. He worked his heavy shaft deeper and faster inside me. One of my legs dropped, toes digging into the carpet just so I could be completely open to him.

  He held himself above me. I felt the heat of his stare as he studied every nuance of my expression. Each of my sighs, moans, and groans elicited a different response from his body.

  I was completely in his power. I loved it. I craved more.

  My orgasm built with each measured thrust. “Gabriel, I’m so close!”

  A grimace appeared on his gorgeous face. His free hand lifted my hips higher. I immediately screamed as the tight, pleasure knot between my thighs unraveled.

  Gabriel pounded into me harder than ever. Enamored with his carnal violence, I desperately kissed any part of him I could reach. Gabriel captured my mouth with his. Our tongues sensually tangled, softly and gently, in direct odds with our rough coupling.