Fear Nothing

by Dean Koontz

  “How’d you know it was me?”

  “Only a handful of people have this number, and most of them are asleep at this hour. Besides, when it comes to you, I’ve got great intuition. The moment I saw the phone light flash, my nether parts started to tingle.”

  “Your nether parts?”

  “My female nether parts. Can’t wait to see you, Snowman.”

  “Seeing would be a good start. Listen, who else is working tonight?”

  “Doogie Sassman.” He was her production engineer, operating the board.

  “Just the two of you there alone?” I worried.

  “You’re jealous all of a sudden? How sweet. But you don’t have to worry. I don’t measure up to Doogie’s standards.”

  When Doogie wasn’t parked in a command chair at an audio control panel, he spent most of his time with his massive legs wrapped around a Harley-Davidson. He was five feet eleven and weighed three hundred pounds. His wealth of untamed blond hair and his naturally wavy beard were so lush and silky that you had to resist the urge to pet him, and the colorful mural that covered virtually every inch of his arms and torso had put some tattooist’s child through college. Yet Sasha wasn’t entirely joking when she said that she didn’t measure up to Doogie’s standards. With the opposite sex, he had more bearish charm than Pooh to the tenth power. Since I’d met him six years ago, each of the four women with whom he’d enjoyed a relationship had been stunning enough to attend the Academy Awards in blue jeans and a flannel shirt, sans makeup, and outshine every dazzling starlet at the ceremony.

  Bobby says that Doogie Sassman (pick one) has sold his soul to the devil, is the secret master of the universe, has the most astonishingly proportioned genitalia in the history of the planet, or produces sexual pheromones that are more powerful than Earth’s gravity.

  I was glad Doogie was working the night, because I had no doubt that he was a lot tougher than any of the other engineers at KBAY.

  “But I thought there’d be someone besides the two of you,” I said.

  Sasha knew I wasn’t jealous of Doogie, and now she heard the concern in my voice. “You know how things have tightened up here since Fort Wyvern closed and we lost the military audience at night. We’re barely making money on this airshift even with a skeleton staff. What’s wrong, Chris?”

  “You keep the station doors locked, don’t you?”

  “Yeah. All us late-night jocks and jockettes are required to watch Play Misty for Me and take it to heart.”

  “Even though it’ll be after dawn when you leave, promise me you’ll have Doogie or someone from the morning shift walk you out to your Explorer.”

  “Who’s on the loose—Dracula?”

  “Promise me.”

  “Chris, what the hell—”

  “I’ll tell you later. Just promise me,” I insisted.

  She sighed. “All right. But are you in some kind of trouble? Are you—”

  “I’m all right, Sasha. Really. Don’t worry. Just, damn it, promise me.”

  “I did promise—”

  “You didn’t use the word.”

  “Jesus. Okay, okay. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. But now I’m expecting a great story later, at least as spooky as the ones I used to hear around Girl Scout campfires. You’ll be waiting for me at home?”

  “Will you wear your old Girl Scout uniform?”

  “The only part of it I could duplicate are the kneesocks.”

  “That’s enough.”

  “You’re stirred by that picture, huh?”

  “Vibrating.”

  “You’re a bad man, Christopher Snow.”

  “Yeah, I’m a killer.”

  “See you in a little while, killer.”

  We disconnected, and I clipped the cell phone to my belt once more.

  For a moment I listened to the silent cemetery. Not a single nightingale performed, and even the chimney swifts had gone to bed. No doubt the worms were awake and laboring, but they always conduct their solemn work in a respectful hush.

  To Orson, I said, “I find myself in need of some spiritual guidance. Let’s pay a visit to Father Tom.”

  As I crossed the cemetery on foot and went behind the church, I drew the Glock from my jacket pocket. In a town where the chief of police dreamed of beating and torturing little girls and where undertakers carried handguns, I could not assume that the priest would be armed solely with the word of God.

  The rectory had appeared dark from the street, but from the backyard I saw two lighted windows in a rear room on the second floor.

  After the scene that I’d witnessed in the basement of the church, from the cover of the crèche, I wasn’t surprised that the rector of St. Bernadette’s was unable to sleep. Although it was nearly three o’clock in the morning, four hours since Jesse Pinn’s visit, Father Tom was still reluctant to turn out the light.

  “Make like a cat,” I whispered to Orson.

  We crept up a set of stone steps and then, as silently as possible, across the wooden floor of the back porch.

  I tried the door, but it was locked. I had been hoping that a man of God would consider it a point of faith to trust in his Maker rather than in a dead bolt.

  I didn’t intend to knock or to go around to the front and ring the bell. With murder already under my belt, it seemed foolish to have qualms about engaging in criminal trespass. I hoped to avoid breaking and entering, however, because the sound of shattering glass would alert the priest.

  Four double-hung windows faced onto the porch. I tried them one by one, and the third was unlocked. I had to tuck the Glock in my jacket pocket again, because the wood of the window was swollen with moisture and moved stiffly in the frame; I needed both hands to raise the lower sash, pressing first on the horizontal muntin and then hooking my fingers under the bottom rail. It slid upward with sufficient rasping and squeaking to lend atmosphere to an entire Wes Craven film.

  Orson chuffed as though scornful of my skills as a lawbreaker. Everyone’s a critic.

  I waited until I was confident that the noise had not been heard upstairs, and I slipped through the open window into a room as black as the interior of a witch’s purse.

  “Come on, pal,” I whispered, for I didn’t intend to leave him outside alone, without a gun of his own.

  Orson sprang inside, and I slid the window shut as quietly as possible. I locked it, too. Although I didn’t believe that we were currently being watched by members of the troop or by anyone else, I didn’t want to make it easy for someone or something to follow us into the rectory.

  A quick sweep with my penlight revealed a dining room. Two doors—one to my right, the other in the wall opposite the windows—led from the room.

  Switching off the penlight, drawing the Glock again, I tried the nearer door, to the right. Beyond lay the kitchen. The radiant numerals of digital clocks on the two ovens and the microwave cast just enough light to enable me to cross to the pivot-hinged hall door without walking into the refrigerator or the cooking island.

  The hallway led past dark rooms to a foyer lit only by a single small candle. On a three-legged, half-moon table against one wall was a shrine to the Holy Mother. A votive candle in a ruby-red glass fluttered fitfully in the half-inch of wax that remained.

  In this inconstant pulse of light, the face on the porcelain figure of Mary was a portrait less of beatific grace than of sorrow. She appeared to know that the resident of the rectory was, these days, more a captive of fear than a captain of faith.

  With Orson at my side, I climbed the two broad flights of stairs to the second floor. The felon freak and his four-legged familiar.

  The upstairs hall was in the shape of an L, with the stairhead at the junction. The length to the left was dark. At the end of the hall directly ahead of me, a ladder had been unfolded from a ceiling trapdoor; a lamp must have been lit in a far corner of the attic, but only a ghostly glow stepped down the ladder treads.

  Stronger light came from an open door on the ri
ght. I eased along the hall to the threshold, cautiously looked inside, and found Father Tom’s starkly furnished bedroom, where a crucifix hung above the simple dark-pine bed. The priest was not here; he was evidently in the attic. The bedspread had been removed and the covers neatly folded back, but the sheets had not been disturbed.

  Both nightstand lamps were lit, which made that area too bright for me, but I was more interested in the other end of the room, where a writing desk stood against the wall. Under a bronze desk lamp with a green glass shade lay an open book and a pen. The book appeared to be a journal or diary.

  Behind me, Orson growled softly.

  I turned and saw that he was at the bottom of the ladder, gazing up suspiciously at the dimly lighted attic beyond the open trapdoor. When he looked at me, I raised a finger to my lips, softly hushed him, and then motioned him to my side.

  Instead of climbing like a circus dog to the top of the ladder, he came to me. For the time being, anyway, he still seemed to be enjoying the novelty of routine obedience.

  I was certain that Father Tom would make enough noise descending from the attic to alert me long before his arrival. Nevertheless, I stationed Orson immediately inside the bedroom door, with a clear view of the ladder.

  Averting my face from the light around the bed, crossing the room toward the writing desk, I glanced through the open door of the adjoining bathroom. No one was in there.

  On the desk, in addition to the journal, was a decanter of what appeared to be Scotch. Beside the decanter was a double-shot glass more than half full of the golden liquid. The priest had been sipping it neat, no ice. Or maybe not just sipping.

  I picked up the journal. Father Tom’s handwriting was as tight and precise as machine-generated script. I stepped into the deepest shadows in the room, because my dark-adapted eyes needed little light by which to read, and I scanned the last paragraph on the page, which referred to his sister. He had broken off in mid sentence:

  When the end comes, I might not be able to save myself. I know that I will not be able to save Laura, because already she is not fundamentally who she was. She is already gone. Little more than her physical shell remains—and perhaps even that is changed. Either God has somehow taken her soul home to His bosom while leaving her body inhabited by the entity into which she has evolved—or He has abandoned her. And will therefore abandon us all. I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe because I have nothing else to live for. And if I believe, then I must live by my faith and save whom I can. If I can’t save myself or even Laura, I can at least rescue these pitiful creatures who come to me to be freed from torment and control. Jesse Pinn or those who give him orders may kill Laura, but she is not Laura anymore, Laura is long lost, and I can’t let their threats stop my work. They may kill me, but until they do

  Orson stood alertly at the open door, watching the hall.

  I turned to the first page of the journal and saw that the initial entry was dated January 1 of this year:

  Laura has been held for more than nine months now, and I’ve given up all hope that I will ever see her again. And if I were given the chance to see her again, I might refuse, God forgive me, because I would be too afraid of facing what she might have become. Every night, I petition the Holy Mother to intercede with her Son to take Laura from the suffering of this world.

  For a full understanding of his sister’s situation and condition, I would have to find the previous volume or volumes of this journal, but I had no time to search for them.

  Something thumped in the attic. I froze, staring at the ceiling, listening. At the doorway, Orson pricked one ear.

  When half a minute passed without another sound, I turned my attention once more to the journal. With a sense of time running out, I searched hurriedly through the book, reading at random.

  Much of the contents concerned the priest’s theological doubts and agonies. He struggled daily to remind himself—to convince himself, to plead with himself to remember—that his faith had long sustained him and that he would be utterly lost if he could not hold fast to his faith in this crisis. These sections were grim and might have been fascinating reading for the portrait of a tortured psyche that they provided, but they revealed nothing about the facts of the Wyvern conspiracy that had infected Moonlight Bay. Consequently, I skimmed through them.

  I found one page and then a few more on which Father Tom’s neat handwriting deteriorated into a loose scrawl. These passages were incoherent, ranting and paranoid, and I assumed that they had been composed after he’d poured down enough Scotch to start speaking with a burr.

  More disturbing was an entry dated February 5—three pages on which the elegant penmanship was obsessively precise:

  I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe in the mercy of Christ. I believe in the mercy of Christ….

  Those seven words were repeated line after line, nearly two hundred times. Not a single one appeared to have been hastily penned; each sentence was so meticulously inscribed on the page that a rubber stamp and an ink pad could hardly have produced more uniform results. Scanning this entry, I could feel the desperation and terror that the priest had felt when he’d written it, as if his turbulent emotions had been infused into the paper with the ink, to radiate from it evermore.

  I believe in the mercy of Christ.

  I wondered what incident on the fifth of February had brought Father Tom to the edge of an emotional and spiritual abyss. What had he seen? I wondered if perhaps he had written this impassioned but despairing incantation after experiencing a nightmare similar to the dreams of rape and mutilation that had troubled—and ultimately delighted—Lewis Stevenson.

  Continuing to page through the entries, I found an interesting observation dated the eleventh of February. It was buried in a long, tortured passage in which the priest argued with himself over the existence and nature of God, playing both skeptic and believer, and I would have skimmed over it if my eye had not been caught by the word troop.

  This new troop, to whose freedom I have committed myself gives me hope precisely because it is the antithesis of the original troop. There is no evil in these newest creatures, no thirst for violence, no rage—

  A forlorn cry from the attic called my attention away from the journal. This was a wordless wail of fear and pain, so eerie and so pathetic that dread reverberated like a gong note through my mind simultaneously with a chord of sympathy. The voice sounded like that of a child, perhaps three or four years old, lost and afraid and in extreme distress.

  Orson was so affected by the cry that he quickly padded out of the bedroom, into the hallway.

  The priest’s journal was slightly too large to fit into one of my jacket pockets. I tucked it under the waistband of my jeans, against the small of my back.

  When I followed the dog into the hall, I found him at the foot of the folding ladder again, gazing up at the pleated shadows and soft light that hung in the rectory attic. He turned his expressive eyes on me, and I knew that if he could speak, he would say, We’ve got to do something.

  This peculiar dog not only harbors a fleet of mysteries, not only exhibits greater cleverness than any dog should possess, but often seems to have a well-defined sense of moral responsibility. Before the events of which I write herein, I had sometimes half-seriously wondered if reincarnation might be more than superstition, because I could envision Orson as a committed teacher or dedicated policeman or even as a wise little nun in a former life, now reborn in a downsized body, furry, with tail.

  Of course, ponderings of this nature have long qualified me as a candidate for the Pia Klick Award for exceptional achievement in the field of airheaded speculation. Ironically, Orson’s true origins as I would soon come to understand them, although not supernatural, would prove to be more astonishing than any scenario that I and Pia Klick, in fevered collaboration, could have imagined.

  Now the cry issued from above a secon
d time, and Orson was so affected that he let out a whine of distress too thin to carry into the attic. Even more than the first time, the wailing voice seemed to be that of a small child.

  It was followed by another voice, too low for the words to be distinct. Though I was sure that this must be Father Tom, I couldn’t hear his tone well enough to tell if it was consoling or threatening.

  28

  If I’d trusted to instinct, I would have fled the rectory right then, gone directly home, brewed a pot of tea, spread lemon marmalade on a scone, popped a Jackie Chan movie on the TV, and spent the next couple of hours on the sofa, with an afghan over my lap and with my curiosity on hold.

  Instead, because pride prevented me from admitting that I had a sense of moral responsibility less well-developed than that of my dog, I signaled Orson to stand aside and wait. Then I went up the ladder with the 9-millimeter Glock in my right hand and Father Tom’s stolen journal riding uncomfortably against the small of my back.

  Like a raven frantically beating its wings against a cage, dark images from Lewis Stevenson’s descriptions of his sick dreams flapped through my mind. The chief had fantasized about girls as young as his granddaughter, but the cry that I’d just heard sounded as though it had come from a child much younger than ten. If the rector of St. Bernadette’s was in the grip of the same dementia that had afflicted Stevenson, however, I had no reason to expect him to limit his prey to those ten or older.

  Near the top of the ladder, one hand on the flimsy, collapsible railing, I turned my head to peer down along my flank and saw Orson staring up from the hallway. As instructed, he had not tried to climb after me.

  He’d been solemnly obedient for the better part of an hour, having commented on my commands with not a single sarcastic chuff or rolling of the eyes. This restraint marked a personal best for him. In fact, it was a personal best by a margin of at least half an hour, an Olympic-caliber performance.