Love Times Four

by Jeanne Mccann

  "Has it ever been an issue?"

  "I think it's less an issue then my being a Hispanic woman, and a tiny one at that."

  "You've been discriminated against?"

  "Many times, but so has everyone else. I just don't dwell on it. What about you?"

  "I work in a predominantly female field. Men are discriminated against all the time, and I am sure minorities are treated unfairly. I've been treated differently because I am a single mother."

  "I think we all get discriminated against. I'm not sure that that we'll ever stop all discrimination until we start showing respect for everyone, regardless of our differences."

  "I think you're right. Is it difficult to be a gay woman in a large corpora-lion?

  "I think less so now then it used to be. It's hard to attend office parties alone. I would love to be able to bring a partner with me, especially since everyone else brings a significant other."

  "Would you bring a woman partner if you were with someone?"

  "I don't know, but I would like the choice. If I choose to be with a woman for the rest of my life, I would want to include them in all aspects of it."

  "It must be hard."

  "Probably not any harder then being a single mother."

  "I wouldn't change a thing. Maddy's my life. I think if I was braver I would have had Maddy on my own instead of getting married."

  "At least your ex-husband doesn't make it difficult."

  "No, he's a nice man and a good father."

  "You're very lucky."

  "I know."

  "I have friends who just had a baby by artificial insemination. They tried to adopt, but it's very difficult, especially if you're two lesbians."

  "I'll bet. That's very cool that they had a baby together. I'd love to have another baby. Maybe I should look into artificial insemination."

  "You don't want to get married again?"

  "Not if I can't find passion. I need that in my life."

  "I know the feeling. It's better to be alone then not have that."

  "So why aren't you seeing someone?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, you're beautiful, smart, sexy, and single. Why aren't you seeing someone?" Catherine grinned at Tia.

  "Thank you for that, but contrary to that statement, not everyone I meet sees me that way. Besides, it's difficult to meet women when I work long days, and rarely go out. They aren't going to show up on my doorstep."

  "I know that problem. I'm so tired of blind dates with friends of friends."

  Tia giggled as she spoke, turning to face Catherine. "What was your worst blind date?"

  "I'll tell you mine, if you share your worst."

  "Deal."

  "Okay, it was with the brother of a woman I used to work with. She bugged me for months until I caved." Catherine grimaced as she spoke. "She told me he was a successful software programmer, and that he was good looking, with a great personality."

  "Ah ha, the old great personality line, it'll get you every time."

  "Yep, and I still went on the date. He picked me up after work for dinner and a movie. I should have known something was up when I had to climb into his extremely old and dented car from the driver's side. The passenger's door was broken, not to mention he was wearing a stained sweatshirt and torn jeans."

  "You're kidding?"

  "No, and I was wearing a dress." Catherine groaned as she relived the very embarrassing evening. "Boy, was I overdressed. He drove to a tavern in Fremont because he said it had great food. It didn't, and it was dark and smoky. He then proceeded to get into an argument with the gentleman seated next to our table about the Internet."

  "A date from hell."

  "It got worse. We missed the movie so we stayed at the tavern, where I watched him play pool. He didn't like to compete with women, so I wasn't allowed to play. Finally at eleven, I asked him to drive me home. He got a little angry because he wasn't ready to leave, so I took a taxi home."

  "That's horrible." Tia couldn't help but grin as she listened.

  "The worst of it was his sister got mad at me for being such a rotten date for her brother."

  "I can't believe it." Tia was close to laughing.

  "Okay, that's my worst date. Now, it's your turn."

  "My date wasn't anything like that."

  "Come on, you aren't going to get out of it, start talking."

  "Okay, okay. A group of women were going to go out for dinner and a little dancing. I went along and was to meet one of the women's friend, who was visiting from San Francisco. We met at Salty's and I saw her for the first time. She was wearing jeans, a white men's tank top with no bra, and a black leather jacket, oh, and motorcycle boots."

  "Uh oh."

  "She was an extremely large woman, very heavy set, with hair shaved close lo her head. The first problem we had was when the waitperson called us ladies. This angered Jan beyond belief and she berated the young waitress until she was in tears."

  "Why?"

  "The term ladies denigrated her as a lesbian."

  "What did you do?"

  "I asked her to let it go."

  "Did she?"

  "Yes, but only as a special favor to me. I think that's how she put it. The whole dinner was like that. Everything was a political argument. She monopolized the conversation, and offended just about everyone. Let alone calling unwanted attention to our table. It was so embarrassing."

  "I hate that."

  "So do I. We finally left to go dancing, and when we arrived at the club she grabbed my hand and told me to come with her. She called me baby."

  The horrified look on Tia's face made Catherine laugh. "What did you do then?"

  "I pulled my hand back and told her I wasn't her baby. She told me she knew I was a fern, and since she was a butch, we were perfect!"

  "And..."

  "I told her she could shove baby up her butch ass and I left. Needless to say, we didn't go out again."

  "That sounded horrible." Catherine grinned, choking on laughter.

  "It was." Tia began to chuckle. "But, I got over it."

  "Looks like we need to be more discriminating when it comes to dating."

  "If I get any choosier, I'll die before I have one."

  "True and no dating means no sex."

  "Yup." Tia sighed heavily. "What are we going to do?"

  "It's too bad I am not gay, 'cause then we could go out with each other." Tia choked on the wine she was sipping and her eyes grew big. "I'm sorry," Catherine paused. "Did I-did I embarrass you?"

  "No, not at all, you just surprised me."

  "Why? Because a straight woman thinks you're attractive?"

  "I guess." There was more to it than that but Tia wasn't sure what to say.

  "Don't you look at attractive, straight women?"

  "Of course I do, but I certainly don't look at them as a potential date. First of all, it's futile, and second of all, it's dangerous."

  "Why is that?"

  "Well, what if, hypothetically, I found myself attracted to a straight woman and we become friends. If I tell her I am attracted to her, or heaven forbid, I should make a pass at her, she would probably get very angry. She would never be able to be a friend of mine, because she would always worry that I might have inappropriate feelings for her. I would lose either way."

  "I see your point. But if someone cared enough about you to be your friend, they would be flattered."

  "Easy to say, but hard to do, that's why I don't cross the line when it comes to straight women."

  "I certainly wouldn't react that way." Catherine's eyes were large and serious as she looked at Tia.

  Tia's heart beat loudly in her chest. She wasn't sure what Catherine's eyes were telling her. "So if I told you I was attracted to you, you wouldn't be offended?"

  "On the contrary, I would be flattered, and extremely honored." Tia and Catherine stared at each other silently for several minutes before either one of them spoke. "Tia, I value your friendship, and I care ab
out you. You're becoming very important to me, and I don't want to lose that."

  "Catherine, I care about you. I would never do anything that would damage our friendship."

  "Good, now that we have that settled, do you want to watch a movie? I rented a couple today."

  "Sure, what did you get?"

  "Two action adventure ones."

  "I love action adventure."

  The two of them settled in to watch the movie but Tia was still a little thrown off by the earlier conversation. She wasn't sure whether she had just admitted to Catherine that she was attracted to her. She hoped not. It would only cause a lot of problems. She knew from experience. The rest of the evening slid by easily, and it was after midnight before she headed for home.

  "Don't forget, Maddy and I are expecting you for dinner tomorrow night." Catherine reminded her as she walked Tia to the door.

  "You're going to get tired of me." Tia smiled.

  "Oh Tia, I don't think that will ever be a problem." Catherine grinned and hugged her quickly.

  "Goodnight."

  "Goodnight, Catherine." Tin was shocked at the raw lust she felt for Catherine from the apparent innocent hug. She was in big trouble. She had no clue what to do about it, except stop seeing Catherine, and she didn't want to do that. She needed to get her act together.

  Chapter Seventeen

  "Tia, you know lusting after a straight woman is unhealthy."

  "I know, Emma." Tia was glad Emma had called. She needed someone to talk to.

  "You saw what happened to Van."

  "How can I forget?"

  Van had fallen in love with a straight woman who dabbled with sleeping with women. Once her curiosity was appeased the woman publicly denounced Van, and devastated her. Not only was Van's heart broken, but straight women who she considered friends, avoided her. It had been a very painful lesson. One that Tia saw first hand and she would never repeat it.

  "Honey, what are you going to do?"

  "I don't know. Maybe I need to go out on a few dates and put my attentions elsewhere."

  "That sounds like a good idea. Why don't you call Erica? You both liked each other."

  "Maybe I will."

  "Tia."

  "Okay, I'll do it."

  "Good, call her today."

  "Emma, I said I would call her."

  "Today."

  "Goodbye."

  "Bye, hon."

  Maybe Emma was right. She liked Erica they were both just so busy. She decided to call her and give it a try. Erica's telephone machine answered and Tia left a message. Maybe if she saw Erica she would stop thinking about Catherine in that way.

  "Erica, this is Tia. I was wondering if you wanted to get together next week. It's been a while since we saw each other, and it would be nice to catch up. Give me a call if you get a chance." There, she'd done it. She could stop thinking about Catherine as anything more than a good friend. Yeah, and pigs could fly! Tia was in a lot of trouble.

  "Hello, little Miss Maddy."

  "Tia." Maddy threw herself into Tia's arms. "We're having chicken for dinner.

  "Good, I love chicken."

  "It's Mom's best dinner."

  "I can't wait."

  "Mom said we could play cards after dinner." Maddy still hung off Tia's neck, hugging her.

  "Maddy, why don't you let Tia come inside?" Catherine smiled in greeting. "I promised her we could play concentration after dinner."

  "No problem. Here's dessert. It needs to go into the freezer until we eat it." Tia grinned. "And don't peek, it's a surprise."

  "A surprise, I can't wait. Would you like a glass of wine? Maddy, you get a glass of juice."

  "Sounds perfect, can I help?" Tia took a big deep breath as she took a second look at Catherine. Catherine looked incredible and she made Tia's heart pound.

  "No, everything is done."

  "Tia, we're going to sit at the big table with candles and flowers. Want to see?" Maddy jumped up and down in front of Tia. She was very excited.

  "I'd love to." Maddy took Tia's hand and dragged her to the elegantly set dining room table. "It's beautiful, Maddy." And it was. Tia was surprised to see the china and linen.

  "Mom said it's a special dinner because you're coming. She asked me to be really good."

  "You're always really good, Maddy, and your mother's right. Tonight is special. I get to have dinner with you and your mom, and you're my very favorite people."

  "Here you go, ladies. And Tia, I hope you don't think I am being disrespectful calling you both ladies?" Catherine teased, her eyes twinkling with humor.

  "I'm certainly not offended, we are ladies. Thank you." Tia chuckled. "The table is beautiful."

  "I thought it might be fun to eat in the dining room."

  "It's perfect."

  "Okay, Maddy, show Tia where she gets to sit, while I bring dinner out." Maddy grabbed Tia's hand and led her to her seat, while Catherine carried two full dinner plates out and placed them in front of Tia and Maddy. "Maddy, napkin on your lap, please."

  "Okay, Mom."

  Tia grinned. Maddy was trying so hard to be a grownup. Catherine returned with her own plate, turned out the dining room lights, plunging the room into flickering candlelight. It was not only beautiful, it was romantic.

  "Oh, Mom, it's pretty." Maddy exclaimed, her eyes large with delight.

  "It's very pretty." Tia agreed, staring at Catherine. It was almost like a romantic dinner setting. Tia wasn't sure what to think. Catherine's eyes glittered in the candlelight, her long blond hair pulled up on her head in a loose bun. Tia sighed quietly as she reacted to Catherine. She was so sexy, and Tia couldn't control her feelings. Catherine smiled at her. Tia was in big time trouble.

  "Maddy, would you like to say the grace?"

  "Okay."

  Maddy bowed her head and said a very short grace. Once she was done, she looked up and grinned. "Okay, we can eat now."

  Tia chuckled out loud as Catherine gazed fondly at her daughter. "Good job, and you're right, we can eat now." Catherine patted her daughter's hand. "Thank you for saying the grace."

  The three of them began to eat, and as usual Maddy chattered about her day. She was excited, and wanted to share everything. They had all finished eating by the time she wound down. Catherine and Tia had hardly uttered a word.

  "Okay, Maddy, while your mom stays and relaxes, you and I are going to clear the table and get dessert."

  "Tia, you don't need to do that."

  "I course I do. Now, sit and relax, please." Tia placed her hand on Catherine’s shoulder. "We'll take care of you."

  "I appreciate that, thank you." Catherine reached up and grasped Tia's hand. "I never get waited on."

  Tia smiled down at Catherine. "Well, then it's way overdue. Come on Maddy."

  The two of them quickly cleaned up the dinner plates and the kitchen. Then they started on the dessert. Catherine smiled when she heard giggling. She liked Tia an awful lot. In fact, she was attracted to Tia and not sure what to do about it. She had never thought about being with a woman before she met Tia, and now it was all she thought about. She'd laid awake the last two nights analyzing her feelings. It scared her to death, and excited her at the same time. She didn't want to lose Tia's friendship, but the craving she felt around her had nothing to do with friendship.

  "Okay, Maddy, give your mom her dessert."

  "What is this wonderful concoction?" Catherine asked as Maddy placed a bowl of dark chocolate in front of her.

  "It's chocolate mousse." Tia grinned, placing bowls in front of her and Maddy. "The perfect dessert for chocolate lovers."

  "Oh my God, this is heavenly. What do you think Maddy?"

  Maddy's face was streaked with chocolate as she shoved another spoonful into her mouth. "It's good."

  Tia and Catherine laughed as they watched Maddy enjoy her dessert. It more then validated the success of the surprise since she hadn't taken a breath since she'd started to eat.

  "Your dessert is
a hit."

  "Good, so was your dinner."