Eternity

by Teresa Federici

  He leaned back and looked down at me, and the challenge in my eyes made him laugh, which only made me angrier.

  “You were already in danger even before this, so now that he knows that you know about him, you’re in even more danger. I will not let anything happen to you and if that means keeping you close to me, then you will be close to me.”

  I stepped away from him and moved around the big coffee table, as if that could keep him away from me if he wanted to touch me again, but I needed the space. Not that I didn’t want to spend my days with him, but I at least wanted the choice. His suggestion wasn’t even that; it was an order, boss to employee, and I didn’t like it.

  An idea came to me, and before I could even throw up a block on my thoughts, horror registered on his beautiful face.

  “No, I will not do that. I cannot condemn you to this life, and the sooner you realize that, the better.” His voice was tinged with anger, his words restrained.

  “If I’m a vampire, he wouldn’t be able to use me as a tool against you.” I pointed out, but even the flimsy logic of it was plain for me to see. Vampires weren’t technically immortal; immortal meant that something was indestructible, couldn’t be killed, any kid with a dictionary could tell you that, but they could be killed, just not very easily and they had no discernible lifespan.

  “Just loving you makes you a tool to use against me, hence why I want you with me always.” He stood with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his icy eyes downcast, not looking at me. His words registered with me, but they were spoken in a context much like when I called him the love of my life. Suddenly, the ludicrousness of it all hit me.

  I was standing in the living room of a house that belonged to witches, watching my vampire lover brood about whether or not he was forcibly going to hold me captive, while another vampire stalked me relentlessly in the shadows, and I was fairly certain that a warlock was a floor below us, perusing a book. How I knew that was beyond me, but I would figure it out soon enough.

  I started to laugh, and even the sound of it scared me. It had a hysterical edge to it I didn’t like at all, and I folded where I stood, crumpling into a ball on the plush carpet.

  I kept laughing until the sounds turned undeniably to sobs. I had no idea what I was crying for though; was it the life that was irretrievably lost to me? Some rational part of my brain that was still working knew that wasn’t it. I couldn’t go back to that life if Gareth wasn’t in it, I would just as soon die a regular death.

  As his hard arms came around me, I realized I was crying for a life that had barely started. Would Gareth and I be able to be together or would we be ripped apart before our life together even started?

  I sobbed into his cold chest as he rocked me gently, his smooth voice murmuring, gently moving the hair at my temples where his lips pressed gently. Nothing he could do though would calm me down. I kept crying hysterically until he framed my face in his hands, caught my watery gaze with his fiery one and then I knew nothing.

  Chapter Twelve

  When I woke, I was completely disoriented. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself staring at the underside of a canopy of a bed, and knew it wasn’t mine. I knew for sure because I didn’t own a canopy bed, and I was inclined more toward beige colors with splashes of crimson and orange, not the moss green and earth brown that draped the canopy. I leaned up on my elbows and pushed my hair off my face, looking around the room. The bed was the kind that suburban women everywhere struggled to imitate, with feather topper and down comforter that kind of sucked you in, with masses of pillows.

  The sun filtered softly through sheer brown curtains, and cast soothing light on the moss green walls. It was a dark room, and I could imagine clearly who it belonged to. With a gasp I looked down at myself as I hastily threw off the blankets. I was relieved to see that I still had clothes on, but I was also strangely disappointed. Gareth had left me fully clothed, sans shoes, but I wondered how he got me here. I just remembered crying hysterically and gazing into his spectacular eyes. Then nothing.

  I had no clue how long I had been here, whether it was five minutes or five days.

  I climbed out of the bed shakily and went in search of the restroom. My bladder was painfully full, like I hadn’t gone in days, and my need was urgent. I opened a closet door before finding the correct door.

  When I came back out I climbed back up on the bed, not sure where Gareth was. I didn’t know if I should go looking for him, or what, but I needed to get home, change my clothes, and get in touch with Harley and Teagan. They were probably worried. I had just swung my legs back over the side of the bed when I heard a knock at the door and Gareth walked in, carrying a tray.

  My stomach recognized it for what it was before my brain processed the food on it.

  I watched Gareth carry the tray over to a small table across the room, set up next to a roaring fire and wondered at his silence. I stood, my head swimming from lightheadedness, when he was suddenly at my side, having crossed the large room in a fraction of a second. He looked down at me with that sadness back in his eyes as he lifted me effortlessly in his arms, holding me close to his chest. He walked in a normal manner back to the table, saying nothing the whole time.

  This was getting on my nerves.

  He sat me down in one chair, carefully staying away from a ray of sunlight, and then moved to take the other seat, the one that wasn’t sitting in a patch of sunlight. He looked at me across the small expanse of table and food, and made a gesturing motion with his hand at the food.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything to me? How long have I been here?” I looked at him warily, not scared, just puzzled.

  “Aren’t you going to eat? You must be hungry; you haven’t eaten in two days.” He replied, nodding at the tray.

  “You’ve kept me here for two days? What did you do to me? Keep me in thrall?” I sounded affronted, which was what I was going for, but I knew deep down that he didn’t do anything to me. My mind and body just hadn’t been able to cope with everything. His eyes still looked sad as they studied me. I knew he was poking at my thoughts, but I fought to keep my wall up.

  “I haven’t done anything to you, as you well know. You needed the rest, and after your…breakdown, I thought it best if I brought you here. Harley and Teagan are fine, they know where you are, and trust me, it was very hard for me to tell them where I was bringing you. My home is something that I keep hidden, for the obvious reasons.”

  He thought I was scared of him. That’s why he told me that Harley and Teagan knew where I was, so I wouldn’t think that no one knew where I was. At that moment, Harley’s voice was in my head. Oh good, you’re awake, followed by Teagan, We’re here when you need us. Gareth must have heard them too, because a pained smile formed on his mouth and then was gone, fast as it came.

  “You have good friends. You’ll need them to protect you.”

  I had reached out to grab a slice of toast when his words stopped my hand. It just hung there in the air, refusing to move as his words hit me.

  “What do you mean? Where will you be?” I asked, my voice unnaturally high pitched.

  His eyes turned flat, expressionless.

  “I’m leaving. I’m going to try to draw Padraigan away from you.”

  My hand came down and picked up the toast, brought it to my lips. I nibbled at it, but didn’t taste any of it. I had caught the real meaning of his words.

  “You won’t be back, will you?” Still high pitched. I cleared my throat, the toast crumbs had seemed to have made a blockage in it. He didn’t look at me as he nodded.

  “I’ve spent the past two days watching you sleep, hearing your heart beat, and I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. I’m sorry, Anna, but if this is what it takes to keep you safe, then I will do it.”

  I swear my hand acted out on its own accord; I would never have stooped to such childish extremes, but before I knew it, the piece of toast hit Gareth squarely on his rock hard chest and slid down, leaving a buttery trail on h
is blue shirt. He stared down at it for a moment, and then picked it up from where it came to rest in his lap and put it back on the tray. He caught my next missile without even thinking about it. His hand moved lighting quick and caught the fork before it could hit him in the face.

  “Don’t.” His voice was menacing, with a low growl tingeing the word and making it more sinister than I think even he meant it to sound, but I was having none of it. I knew I had to be a little bit crazy if I was deliberately provoking the ire of a vampire, but I didn’t care. I wanted no part of a life without him, and if that meant I would make him so mad that he killed me, that’s what I was going to do.

  “Why?” I snarled myself as I launched a roll at him. He caught that unerringly too and threw it aside, and then he was up and snatching me from my chair, twisting my throwing arm behind me. He pulled me against him, his eyes turning a dark stormy color, which scared me a little. Not even at Harley and Teagan’s had his eyes changed, and it couldn’t bode well.

  I kicked him in the shin, but only succeeded in hurting my bare foot. I swore, but struggled against him. He just held me, one hand pinning my right arm behind me, the other arm wrapped around my waist. I cursed him every which way to hell, kicked, scratched with my free hand and then he finally had enough of me and strode over to the bed and threw me on it, although not as hard as he would have liked, I’m sure. I scrambled back to the headboard, my back pressing into it as he snarled “Enough!”

  I watched him with wary eyes as he paced next to the bed. I still knew, deep down, that he would not hurt me. He wouldn’t even turn me into what he was, let alone kill me, but he was tearing me into pieces all the same.

  He raised a hand and raked it through his dark hair, then swung around to face me.

  “I can’t do this Anna. I can’t stay with you, as much as I love you. Because of how much I love you. Padraigan will find you, and he is very powerful, more powerful than I am. He is ancient, and he loves what he is. Nothing will stop him from destroying everything that I have accomplished or love. I have to leave you to protect you.”

  I shook my head slowly. “No, we had this conversation, back at Written. You said that you were with me for the long haul, that you couldn’t fight me anymore and that you were committed. Does your word mean so little that you could break it so quickly? Hell, I haven’t even been awake most of the time since you made that vow.”

  He sat down on the mattress, and glared at me furiously. I glared right back at him.

  “Don’t impugn my word. I made it in haste, not realizing that the only way to protect you is to leave you alone.”

  “Oh, wah.” I made a sound like a crying baby, and it didn’t go over very well. His eyes grew even darker and he hissed this time instead of growling. Everything short of showing teeth. I forged on.

  “I’m a big girl, Gareth, and for the most part can take care of myself. With you beside me, I’m fully covered, but are you too much of a coward that you won’t take the chance?”

  A red light came into his eyes that I had never noticed before. It was quite fascinating even as it terrified me. I even started to doubt that he wouldn’t hurt me. I was thinking that I could provoke him, make him attack me. He wouldn’t go so far as to kill me, but maybe he would go past the point of no return and he would have to change me.

  “Or does the thought of being with me scare you? I’m nothing spectacular of course, just a weak human. I’ll eventually die, and you’d be alone again. Maybe that’s why you don’t want Poindexter to get his hands on me. If you distance yourself now, before you’re in too deep, you won’t be as hurt when he kills me.”

  That did it. He was on me before I could move, pinning me against the headboard, and I could feel him at my neck, his breath coming fast. I ran my fingers into his hair, as if I wanted to hold his head there at my pulse point, but I was terrified. Would it hurt? Would he be able to stop? What had I done?

  These thoughts raced through my mind almost as fast as Gareth could move, but then I noticed that he wasn’t sinking his teeth into my neck. His breath seared the tender skin on my neck, but I realized that instead of fangs puncturing my jugular, his lips were nuzzling behind my ear, the iciness of them at odds with the heat that was building in me where they touched. I whimpered when his teeth raked down the column of my neck, but his teeth were normal, and the whimper was from desire, not fear.

  His mouth traced a line along my collarbone, leaving trails of fire in his wake. He nuzzled under my chin, inhaling my scent, and then continued on to my other ear.

  This was not what I was expecting. It was so much better. I closed my eyes as he maneuvered us into a more comfortable position, where he laid stretched out next to me, still dancing kisses across my jaw and neck. His hand came up to hold my face steady, and that’s when I saw it; a burn ran down his arm, from where his sleeve was rolled up at his elbow down to his wrist, the edges ugly and raw. If he had been a human, it would have been a burn a couple days old already, but a third degree burn none the less. I sat up and grabbed his hand, cradling his arm across my chest. I touched at the edges tenderly, wincing as though it hurt me instead of him.

  I kept my eyes on the burn as I whispered, “When did you do this?” His eyes were on my face, not on his arm.

  “When I picked you up off the chair. You were sitting in a patch of sunlight.” He whispered back, all traces of aggression gone from his voice. My eyes stung with tears as I realized that I had done this to him. In my childish anger, I had caused him pain. The tears overflowed my eyes and dropped on his arm, bathing the burn in their saltiness. The hand that I held reached up and wiped away my tears, gently and with infinite care. Then he turned me to face him, tucking me against his chest. I rested my head, my tears slowly drying up, his hand running up and down my back, his fingers trailing shivers down my spine.

  “What a pair we are. You’re deliberately trying to provoke me into turning you, and I’m running away from the only thing that has meant anything to me in two hundred years.” A laugh rumbled out of his chest, and I giggled myself. I sat up and turned to face him, sitting lotus-style, and placed a hand on his chest. He reached up and took my hand with both of his and met my green gaze with his blue one.

  “You are not leaving me. We will fight this together, side by side, and if I have to live in this pigsty….” I waved my hand around to take in the sumptuousness of the chamber “then I guess I will have to stay here. Don’t try to push me away again, Gareth, I won’t have it.” Like I could do much about it if he really decided to leave. He could leave in the middle of the night while I was asleep.

  “I agree, on one condition. No more of this nonsense about you becoming a vampire. You will remain unchanged.”

  “I’m afraid for me, this is nonnegotiable. I don’t want to grow older, knowing that I’m going to die and you will go on without me. Selfish, I know, but not happening.” I watched as he brought my hand to his lips, as he pressed a kiss in my palm, and then started to nibble on my wrist. He was trying to distract me, but I had resolve on my side.

  “Do you forget that we are trying to find a cure for vampirism? If you were changed, it might be to just be changed back.” He reasoned as his worked his way up my arm, pausing to spend extra attention to the sensitive skin at the bend of my elbow. Never knew that was an erogenous zone. Interesting.

  “No I don’t forget that’s what brought this whole Pinhead mess about, but then if we find a cure I can be turned back into a human along with you.” My last words were gasps as he moved to kneel next to me, baring my shoulder and biting lightly.

  “This is an argument that we will continue later, I’m sure.” He murmured against my heated skin, and then I lost whatever coherency I was clinging to.

  He pulled me up to kneel in front of him, brought his hands up to frame my face. I loved it when he did that. I brought my hands up to wrap my fingers around his wrists, and was immediately lost in his eyes. His mouth crashed down on mine, but not hard enough to hurt
me. I kissed him back for all I was worth, my tongue tangling with his. He moved from my mouth to my cheeks, to my temples, rained kisses down my nose, and I was crying from the beauty of it. He was worshipping me, as if my very soul was the most precious thing in the world to him.

  I wanted to touch him, to reciprocate the feeling. I brought my hands down from his wrists and moved them to his shirt, where I fumbled with the buttons running down the front. He was much smoother at this than I. He leaned back on his heels and watched me fumble, and I realized that he was waiting for my reaction to the sight of him. I got all the buttons undone to where the shirt was tucked into his jeans, and I pealed it off of him, to leave it hanging from the waistband.

  Other than moving his arms to accommodate the removal of his shirt, he hadn’t budged an inch since I had started unbuttoning the shirt. Now he just watched me, watched my reaction to him.

  I reached out and traced the patterns the hair on his chest made, marveling at the feel of supple skin over unyielding flesh. His skin was dusky gold with a pale cast to it, like a statue painted to look lifelike. He was beautiful to me, and he seemed immensely relieved that I wasn’t repulsed by him. I skimmed my fingertips along his collarbones, leaning toward him from where I still knelt. My lips replaced my fingertips, and I was amazed that he didn’t seem as affected as me. Whereas I was vocal, he was silent, and I was worried he wasn’t feeling anything.

  “I’m affected, Anna, trust me.” His voice quivered above me, and I smiled against his cold skin. I scooted closer to him on my knees, and I mimicked his earlier movements, trailing my lips along his shoulder, up his neck, biting tenderly on his earlobe, a little awed that I didn’t chip a tooth.

  He inhaled sharply and I smiled again, but then he grasped my arms and laid me down, bringing his length down on top of me. He braced his weight on his elbows, and brought his hands to my own buttons. I still had my work clothes on from two days ago. I was more than happy to get them off me. Then I remembered I hadn’t showered in two days and a look of horror must have come over my face, because his hands froze.