Wes

by Catherine Lievens

  “It’s weird for you to talk about your lion like he’s a real thing,” Wes pointed out. “I mean, I know he’s real, but...”

  “You’ll get used to it. You’ll see more than enough animals around the house. It’s like a zoo, I swear.”

  Wes smiled. “Yeah? What kind of animals—wait, shifters—live here? You said it was a pride, so I assumed you’d all be cats.”

  Taylor grinned. “Nope. We have bears, a weasel, a pair of twin sugar gliders, wolves, even a squirrel.”

  Wes couldn’t help but mirror Taylor’s grin. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. You can live here with all of them, if you want to. So, I guess I want to know what you decided.”

  * * * *

  Taylor waited for Wes’ answer with bated breath. He meant what he’d told his mate—the most important thing for him was to make Wes happy, even if it meant taking him back home and leaving him there. Even if it meant never seeing him again. Even if it meant Wes would go back to offering himself for money.

  He wouldn’t be happy, but he wouldn’t protest—much. But he’d try to convince Wes to stay, whatever it took. No one should have to do what he had to do to survive.

  “I want to go home.”

  Taylor looked down. He couldn’t look at Wes right now, not when he’d decided to go back.

  “Can you take me?”

  Taylor nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

  “Good. Do you also have a few bags I can borrow?”

  Taylor frowned and looked at Wes. “Yeah, but why?”

  Wes’ smile was soft. “To put my things in them. I don’t want to leave anything back there when I move here.”

  Taylor felt his knees buckle and he sat heavily on the bed. Wes opened his legs and steered Taylor until he was sitting between them, his back to Wes’ chest. It felt a bit awkward, but only because Taylor was bigger. He felt like he should be the one in Wes’ place rather than the other way around, but he couldn’t deny it felt good to be held like this.

  Wes wrapped his arms around Taylor’s waist and hooked his chin on his left shoulder. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just... I thought you were saying that you wanted to go back to your old life.”

  “What would you have done if I’d said that?”

  “I would’ve taken you back, then I’d have used all my money to spend time with you.”

  Wes chuckled. “I’m not sure if I should be offended by that or not.”

  “I don’t know either. I don’t mean it badly, though.”

  “I know. I’m scared, Taylor.”

  Taylor patted the hand on his stomach. “I know. Me too, and I’m not even changing much in my life.”

  “But you are. You’re welcoming me when it would be so easy to kick me back out, especially with my past.”

  Taylor tried to turn around, but Wes held him tighter and shook his head. “I know I’m your mate. I know what it means, well, more or less. Still, I can’t imagine all shifters accept their mates unconditionally like you’re doing. A lot of people would have problems with my... job, and they certainly wouldn’t propose to pay me for staying off the streets.”

  He squeezed Taylor and kissed his temple. “Thank you. Thank you for not judging me, for giving me a chance at a better life. For accepting me as I am.”

  “I wouldn’t want you to be any different, babe.”

  Wes snorted. “Yeah, right.”

  “I mean it. I’m not going to say that you doing what you do doesn’t make me uncomfortable, but you wouldn’t be the man you are now if you hadn’t gone through that and everything else.”

  “You don’t know me, Taylor. How can you say that?”

  “I don’t know you yet, not well, but I’ve seen you with Nysys and Keenan, and I’ve talked to you. I know you were hurt, and that you’re still hurting, and I know life was hard for you. Yet you’re still so sweet and innocent.”

  “Innocent? That’s the last thing you can call me.”

  Taylor pushed away, cupped Wes’ face with both hands and forced him to look at him. “Yes, innocent. Maybe not physically, but for everything else that counts, you are.”

  He leaned forward and kissed Wes. Wes didn’t try to move or push Taylor away. He kissed back, and Taylor was in heaven.

  It didn’t last nearly long enough, but they had things to do. He smiled against Wes’ lips. “What do you say if we keep this for after you move in, huh?”

  “Sounds good.”

  Taylor jumped up from the bed and grabbed the bundle of clothes he’d brought. He threw it at Wes and Wes caught it, grimacing just a bit. “Oops, sorry.”

  Wes waved. “It’s fine.” He unfolded the clothes and raised a brow. “You got this from Nysys, huh?”

  “That obvious?”

  Wes laughed, and Taylor loved that sound so much he decided he’d do whatever he could to hear it again and again. “Yeah, definitely.”

  Wes held up the ugliest sweater Taylor had ever seen. It was striped from the collar down in every color one could think of, and even some Taylor had never seen. It was so Nysys it hurt to watch.

  Wes put it down and held purple jeans up instead. Taylor bit on his lower lip to stop the laughter from bubbling out. “Sorry. I asked to borrow someone’s clothes, and he was the first to give me some. He looked so enthusiastic about it that I couldn’t say no.”

  “No, you did good. Thanks.”

  Taylor turned around when Wes climbed off the bed and Wes laughed behind him. “I don’t think you need to turn around. You’ve already seen me naked.”

  “Sorry. It’s... weird, I guess. We haven’t exactly talked about our relationship yet, even though you decided to stay. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

  Two arms slid around Taylor’s waist and Wes pressed his face against Taylor’s back. “I’m not crazy enough to push you away, Taylor. I don’t think I would even if I didn’t know I’m your mate. You’re sweet and considerate, and you make me feel things I didn’t think I’d ever feel. You’re not even disgusted by what I did. I want you, if you want me.”

  Taylor patted Wes’ hand. “We’ll take it slow, huh?”

  Wes laughed. “Why? We’ve already had sex, and you already claimed me. Why do you want to go backward instead of forward?”

  Taylor turned around and hugged Wes. “We’ll wait until you’re settled, then. Is that okay?”

  “Perfect.”

  Taylor wasn’t surprised that Wes was dressed and ready to go in only fifteen minutes. Wes took Taylor’s hand as they walked through the house, giving him a questioning glance, and Taylor squeezed his hand in answer.

  They got serious when Taylor drove away and Wes whispered his address. Taylor knew it wouldn’t be easy to go there, and he couldn’t imagine how Wes had felt every night, going back to that neighborhood, to the dirty apartment building Wes told him to stop in front of.

  Taylor didn’t say anything, not even when they had to climb over an older man sitting against the wall in Wes’ hallway, drunkenly singing old sixties songs. Wes didn’t even flinch, and Taylor knew it was because it was something he was used to.

  Wes’ apartment was cleaner than the rest of the building, and Taylor could see he’d tried to make it a home, without too much success. The curtains at the window only made the room darker, and the carpet on the floor was threadbare. But it had been Wes’ home until now, and Taylor respected that.

  “You should wait here,” Wes whispered.

  “Why?”

  “I need to go to my bedroom.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Taylor was more than a little reluctant to let Wes go anywhere alone while they were there.

  “It’s, well, it’s where I... you know.” Wes was looking everywhere but at Taylor. The meaning of his words hit Taylor and he grimaced. He wouldn’t back down, though.

  “Look, I already know what you did. You’re not going to continue, right?”

  Wes’ eyes were
huge as he shook his head. “No, of course not. Not when I don’t have to.”

  “Exactly. Your life isn’t the same as it was three days ago. I said I wouldn’t hold anything against you, and I meant it.” Taylor took Wes’ hand in his and pulled him toward the bedroom. “Come on, I’ll help you pack your things.”

  Chapter Five

  Wes knocked on the infirmary door. He wasn’t sure he could just go in, so he waited for someone to answer before opening the door.

  Jared’s voice came from a room Wes hadn’t seen while he’d been there. He’d seen the closed door and people coming in and out of the room, but he had no idea what was behind it. He was curious, though, and since the door was open, he peeked inside.

  Jared was standing near a bed, and another man was on the other side of it. This man was tall, and his green eyes snapped toward Wes. Wes raised his hands, hoping he wasn’t about to get beaten, but his eyes fell on a third man he hadn’t noticed before Jared turned to see who was at the door.

  This man was sitting on the bed, looking at the wall. He looked painfully young, and Wes knew he couldn’t really say anything about that since he was only nineteen, but this guy... It wasn’t only that he was young. He had no expression on his face, and even when Jared talked to him, he didn’t react with more than twitch of his lips. There was something almost empty in him, and it made Wes want to hug him and talk to him just to try to fix that.

  “I’ll be with you in a few,” Jared told Wes.

  Wes stepped back and went to sit on one of the beds closest to the infirmary exit. He didn’t have to wait long for Jared to come out of the room, the tall man close behind him. Wes couldn’t help but hear what they were saying, but since they weren’t trying to hide it, he didn’t feel guilty.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t help,” the tall man said.

  Jared sighed. “It’s fine. Thanks for coming, Ira. We’re not really expecting to actually find Adan’s mate, at least not easily, but we’re not sure there’s anything else we can do to help him.”

  “Have you seen every mateless pack member already?”

  “No. We’re still missing a few.”

  “Then maybe you’ll be luckier next time.”

  “I hope so.”

  Ira squeezed Jared’s shoulder and left. Wes followed him with his gaze until the man left the infirmary, then turned to Jared. “Anything I can help with?”

  “No, unfortunately not.”

  Wes hadn’t been living with the pride for long—just over three weeks—and he still wasn’t sure he really had a place there, even though more than one person had told him he was family. Well, mostly it had been Nysys and Keenan, who’d adopted Wes like a brother, much to Taylor’s dismay. They’d already managed to get Wes in trouble twice, but he didn’t mind. He still felt a bit awkward, but he wanted to help if he could.

  “You’re sure? I can try.”

  Jared took a file Wes had learned to recognize as his own and put it on the bed next to Wes. “There’s really nothing you can do. Adan is in a catatonic state. It’s due to what he went through when he was in the labs. We’ve tried pretty much everything we could think of, but apart from very small movements, we haven’t been able to make him react. We’re trying to find his mate to get a reaction out of him or at least out of his bobcat, but we haven’t found him or her yet.”

  Wes grimaced. “That can’t be easy.”

  “It’s not. We’ve asked our closest allies to send their unmated members to visit us to check if we might find a match for Adan, but we still haven’t.” Jared shook his head. “So, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “No lingering soreness?”

  “Nope. Nysys insisted on having a go at me again, so I’m as good as new.” And Wes really was. His life was a completely new one, and he still had a hard time believing it sometimes. There were times when he woke in the middle of the night and was scared to open his eyes. He was scared to find that it was all a dream, and that he still was in his old apartment, on his old bed.

  Then Taylor snored, or hugged Wes closer, and he knew he wasn’t dreaming.

  “Anything else?” Jared asked. “I know I’m just the doctor, but I can listen as well as anyone if you need it.”

  Wes smiled. “I’m really fine. Overwhelmed, but fine.”

  Jared sat on the chair facing Wes. “Have you already thought about what you’re going to do now?”

  Oh, Wes had thought about little else in the past two weeks. He knew he just had to ask and Taylor would give him whatever he wanted, but he wasn’t okay with that. Wes wanted to give back as much as Taylor was giving him. He just wasn’t sure how to do it.

  “I feel guilty because I don’t have a job. I’m not contributing in any way, and I don’t like it. I’ve been earning money since I was sixteen, and it feels weird and wrong not to.”

  “I’m sure Taylor doesn’t think it’s a problem.”

  “Of course he doesn’t, and it’s cute, and it makes me feel good. But it also makes me feel guilty. I don’t know how to not feel like I owe him something.”

  “Have you told him?”

  Wes cocked his head. “Yeah. He just told me not to worry about money, to let him take care of me like someone should have long ago, and to relax for the first time since I lost my mom.”

  “He’s not wrong, you know. You don’t have to rush into anything just because you feel you have to.”

  “I know.”

  Jared linked his fingers together in his lap. “Have you thought about what you want?”

  “I want to finish high school. That’s the first thing. I can’t do anything if I don’t.”

  “That’s not entirely true, but I think it’d be a good thing. And after that?”

  Wes shrugged. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I never thought I’d actually have the opportunity to be something more than a waiter in a diner or something like that. When I was twelve, I wanted to be a firefighter, but, well.” Wes gestured at his body. “I didn’t exactly grow enough to be one. Besides, it was more a child’s dream than anything.”

  “You must have dreamed of doing something,” Jared gently prodded.

  Wes looked down. “Yeah. I, well, I like to draw. Always have. I’d like to make a career out of it, but I don’t think I’m good enough.”

  “Have you been drawing since you got here?”

  “Not yet, no. I haven’t bought the supplies. It feels like it’s not indispensable.”

  “But it is, especially if you want to make it a career. Anything specific you’d like to draw?”

  Wes could feel himself blushing as he nodded. “I want to illustrate children’s books. Well, I’d like to, but I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Mmm, I’m sure we can find out. I guess you’ll have to choose whether you want to go to college or not, but you’ll have to graduate from high school first to do that.”

  Wes didn’t exactly look forward to starting studying again. Not that he didn’t like to learn, but it’d been three years since he’d really had to study, and he hoped he could get into it again without too many concentration problems. Even in high school, he’d been known to have the focus capacity of a cat—he went after anything shiny that caught his eye, even if he knew he had to concentrate on his work.

  “That’s the plan, anyway,” he told Jared.

  Jared got up. “What are you waiting for, then? Go for it. Be happy. You can now.”

  “Does that...”

  “Yes?”

  Wes bit on his lower lip. “I know Taylor has already claimed me, and I know I don’t have to finish the bond with him if I don’t want to.”

  “But you want to?”

  “Maybe. Part of me wants to so much, but another part can’t help but wonder if it’s just because I know that that way I won’t ever be alone anymore, and that I won’t have to go back on the streets.”

  “Do you
like Taylor?”

  “Of course.”

  “Would you leave if you were offered enough money to do it? Enough that you wouldn’t have to worry for the rest of your life? You could do whatever you wanted. Would that include Taylor?”

  Wes snickered.

  Jared frowned, then smiled. “I might not have phrased that too well, but you got what I was trying to say.”

  “Yeah, I did. You know, I don’t think I’d leave this house, much less Taylor. Money is one thing, but the pride, and Taylor... it’s more than that. It’s family.”

  Jared nodded and smiled. “You have your answer.”

  * * * *

  Taylor put away another pile of clean T-shirts and closed the drawer. He opened the upper one, but the door opened before he could put away the folded underwear. He looked at the door, not surprised at seeing Wes, but rather at the expression on Wes’ face. “Everything okay?”

  Wes looked at Taylor, a frown still on his face. “Mmm?”

  “I asked if everything was okay. You look worried.”

  Wes slumped on the foot of the bed. “Not worried. More like thinking.”

  Taylor sat next to his mate. They were growing closer, and they even slept in the same bed, but that was all they did. They barely even kissed, even if God knew Taylor was dying to do it. He just didn’t want to push Wes, to make him feel like him staying with the pride meant he had to be with Taylor. Or that he had to somehow pay for his staying there. Taylor wanted to puke just at that thought.

  So instead of pulling Wes close, he just sat next to him and pressed his hands on his thighs to avoid reaching for him. “What are you thinking about? Do you need someone to talk to?”

  “I already had a chat with Jared, actually. He made me realize a bunch of things.”

  Taylor’s lion rumbled unhappily. Why had their mate gone to another man when he could’ve talked to Taylor? Taylor knew there could be hundreds of different reason, but his lion was fucking stubborn and saw it almost like a rejection. Worse, it was jealous of Jared. Not that Wes had spent more time with the doc than with other pride members. If anything, he spent more with Nysys and Keenan, but for some reason Taylor’s lion didn’t consider them a danger for his and Wes’ mating bond.