Army of One

by A. K. Henderson

  “Mama, see that’s what I’m talking about; you act like I did something to you. What did I do?”

  “What did you do?” Sandra shouted and stood up, leaning toward Jelisa and pointing her finger in her face. “It’s because of you that I could never keep a man in this house, anyway. You did the same thing with Reggie.”

  Jelisa heard that name and became furious. Reggie was Sandra’s former live-in boyfriend. He moved in a couple of years after she and Pete divorced. In the girls’ eyes, Reggie was a nasty old man. He was a retired steel worker with a bad drinking problem and an unnatural attraction to young girls. Sandra was so heartbroken by the breakup with Pete that she just wanted a man in the house.

  Jelisa jumped up and leaned over the table, pointing her finger right back at Sandra. She shouted with everything in her, “Mama, how dare you bring up that pervert! You know—”

  Right then, Shawnie pushed the coffee table out of the way and jumped in between them, holding Jelisa back. “Jelisa, stop; don’t do it. Y’all just sit down and cool out.”

  Sandra dropped her hand and stepped back. With a calm voice, she said, “I’m calm, I’m calm, but ain’t no child of mine going to talk to me like that in my house.”

  Shawnie interrupted her, “Mama, she didn’t even say anything.”

  “I know what she was about to say. And she is not about to keep throwing that in my face.” Sandra was referring to Jelisa saying multiple times that she didn’t feel comfortable around Reggie.

  “Mama, please stop playing with me right now. You have no idea.” Jelisa started pacing back and forth in front of the front door. Shawnie could see the situation was about to go from bad to worse real quick.

  “Stop playing with you? Little girl, who do you think you talking to? I will—”

  Jelisa interrupted her, getting right in Sandra’s face. “You’ll what, Mama? I’m sick of you. I can’t take this no more. I hate you!” she shouted with great conviction. “Mama, you don’t know how hard it is for me to look you in the face and not scream. All of this time you’ve been blaming me for Daddy leaving you and treating us different. He actually loved us, and that’s what was different. You never loved me or TT; you always hated us. And now you have the audacity to stand here and blame me for Reggie leaving, too. I swear to God, you got hella screws loose.”

  Shawnie moved quickly to push Jelisa back toward the front door. Her five foot frame jumping around and trying to get past her was an indicator that there was nothing Shawnie could do to calm her down at this point.

  Sandra stood square toward Jelisa, still smoking her cigarette, which was now down to the butt. “What you trying to say, Jelisa? Huh? Go on and get it off your chest.” Sandra was slowly slipping into her manipulative state, trying to guilt Jelisa into letting it go.

  The anger boiled inside Jelisa, and suddenly the floodgates of her eyes burst open as she screamed in torment, “He raped me, Mama! Okay? He raped me!” Jelisa dropped to her knees, cupping her face in her hands.

  As she sobbed desperately, Shawnie looked over at Sandra with disgust and anger. “You knew this, didn’t you?” she said.

  “What? Shawnie, stop that.” Sandra barely showed any reaction to Jelisa’s claim as she tried convincing her that she had no idea it had happened.

  Shawnie wasn’t buying it. She helped Jelisa up from the floor, walked her to the kitchen table, and sat her down. “Jelisa, baby, I’m sorry,” Shawnie said as she rubbed circles on Jelisa’s back. Shawnie turned her attention back to Sandra, walking over to within a foot of her. She stood face to face with her. Calling her bluff, she said, “Mama, I know you; and you’re not about to stand here and play stupid. Look me in my face and tell me you didn’t know.”

  Sandra looked away, barely making eye contact with her. “I’m not about to do this with y’all,” she proclaimed.

  “Oh, yes, the hell you are. Mama, I love you; but I promise to God, it’s gonna be me and you up in here if you keep lying. You know what? Don’t even answer that ’cause I know you did. I know you, and you trifling for that. What kind of mother are you?” Shawnie wanted so badly to slap the piss out of Sandra. Instead, she called TT downstairs, gathered Mya and Jelisa, and they all left and went back to Jelisa’s apartment.

  As they drove off, Sandra went and poured herself a glass of vodka and sat at the kitchen table. She was ashamed that she had let something like that happen to one of her girls. Her pride wouldn’t let her go after them, and she figured Jelisa wouldn’t answer if she called anyway. She sat at the table for the rest of the night, smoking and drinking until there was nothing left in the bottle.

  Chapter Nine

  When the sisters arrived at Jelisa’s apartment, the whole mood was somber. Jelisa hadn’t said anything the whole ride home; she just cried and stared out the window as Shawnie drove her car for her. TT followed them in her own car. Jelisa was in rare form this evening; no one had ever seen her as angry as she was. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to pop off, but this had Shawnie and TT worried about what she might do next.

  The sisters gathered around Jelisa in the living room on the couch, each trying desperately to get her to talk. Mya stood next to her mother, clueless as to what was wrong, but attempting to make it all better by bringing her dolls and placing them in her lap.

  “Jelisa, you have to talk about it, honey. I know this is hard. We had no idea,” Shawnie said, taking Jelisa’s hand into hers.

  “Yeah, Jelisa, tell us what happened,” TT chimed in.

  Jelisa remained silent for a moment, and then slowly lifted her head to whisper, “I don’t want to talk about it, y’all. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t think anybody would believe me.”

  Shawnie and TT sat by helplessly as Jelisa contemplated on whether to fill them in on the details. She hesitated for a moment, and after taking a long, deep breath, she proceeded to explain. “All right, y’all, so long story short, Reggie waited one night for everybody to go to sleep and then he came into my room. He covered my mouth so I couldn’t scream and he threatened to kill everybody. I didn’t know what to do.” Her tears increased as she relived the horrible moments of that night. “I called Shamar and told him to come over to stay with me ’cause I was terrified to leave my room.”

  Shawnie’s eyebrows rose as she remembered the events that followed that night. The morning after that tragic event took place, Sandra walked into Jelisa’s room to find her and Shamar fast asleep. The sight of her fifteen-year-old daughter in bed with her boyfriend sent her into a rage. She flipped out on both of them, banning Shamar from ever coming over her house again. She grew to resent him as she began to see Jelisa draw closer to him and further away from her.

  Shawnie was in the next room listening as her mother scolded the two. She tried to warn Jelisa that she might get caught but after everything that had happened she didn’t want to press the issue. In Shawnie’s opinion, her mother would never be okay with them being in love with any man. She envied her daughters and the way their father cared for them. Shawnie would do anything to protect her sisters but when it came to men there was only one way she knew to deal with them and prison orange would never look good on her.

  “Jelisa, I’m so sorry. I wish there were something we could have done. Does Shamar know about it?” Shawnie asked, trying not to push her too much.

  Jelisa shook her head and replied, “There’s no way I could ever tell him. What man would ever want me after something like that? I’m damaged.” She looked over at TT, knowing that she could relate. She knew firsthand what Sandra’s hatred for them looked and felt like. Their mother had no shame in showing her jealousy toward her girls. TT, being the youngest, not only got more attention from their father, but her sisters now became her protectors. “Look, y’all, do me a favor and stay here tonight. I need to get out of this apartment, and I don’t want Mama anywhere near Mya. She’s on thin ice with me. I don’t even want to see her right now.”

  Jelisa knew she proba
bly wasn’t stable enough to go out, but her usual response to feeling low would be to curl up next to Shamar. Being stuck in the house was a constant reminder that even with her sisters and Mya there with her she was still alone. She had no desire to be around the people from the shop but, at this point, it was far better than sitting at home, staring at the TV. Jelisa still wasn’t totally sure about going out but staying home just wasn’t an option.

  Her request didn’t quite sit right with Shawnie. She knew her sister and going out in such a vulnerable state would only lead to her putting herself in a situation she would regret, especially when it came to men. Jelisa was strong-willed, and Shawnie knew that there was no way to talk her out of it. “All right, Jelisa, but are you sure? Is your head in the right place to be trying to go out right now?” Shawnie asked.

  “Look, Shawnie, I’m good. I just need to get out. I’m not going far, and I won’t be out long. I’ll probably just go to this little thing Donny is having for everybody who works at the shop. It’s at his house, but I promise I’m okay. I just need something to get my mind off of this craziness. Y’all know how I get. I’m not going to be able to stay in this house all night.”

  Against their better judgment, the sisters agreed to stay behind with Mya while Jelisa went out to clear her mind. “All right, Jelisa,” Shawnie said. “I know we can’t change your mind about this, but don’t think we’re not going to deal with this eventually. You can’t avoid it, honey, or it’s going to continue to eat away at you. Forget about Mama. You need to get some closure for yourself.”

  Jelisa was growing impatient, and her face told exactly how she was feeling inside. She felt nasty and worthless. No one had ever made her feel so low. Staying in the house meant she would either have to sit and relive those feelings or possibly be subject to her sisters drilling her with questions. She had gone years without having to deal with it so one more night wouldn’t hurt.

  Jelisa left the living room and went into the back to her room to change clothes. As she stood in the front of her dresser, staring at herself in the mirror, her face covered with dried tears, she wished that Shamar was there with her. With him around, it was the only time she felt safe. But she knew that eventually she would have to tell him the truth. Michigan City was too small of a city for things like this not to get around. For now, she was content with handling things on her own.

  * * *

  Having decided to get out and free her mind of the pain she had just relived, Jelisa decided to make an appearance at Donny’s party. She was in her own world as she got into her car and made her way out to South Gate, where he lived. Whenever he threw a kickback, everybody came out. People went out and bought new ’fits and hit the carwash to make sure they came through flossing. As Jelisa made her way onto the street Donny lived on, coming from the windows of his house was the sound of hard-hitting bass and the laughter of slightly drunk men and women.

  When she parked her car and proceeded to walk toward the house, the aroma of blunts and joints filled the air. People lined the sidewalk and the driveway. As she made her way up the stairs, she was greeted by the who’s who of the city. She was well known, and every head turned her way when she stepped in the place. Jelisa didn’t keep too many females close to her, so she was usually alone. Unless she was accompanied by her sisters, she didn’t usually have an entourage.

  She navigated her way through the sea of people, exchanging smiles with all of the ballers and ignoring all of the thirsty women and their rolling eyes. The smoke was thick in the living room as she made her way to the back deck where she could hear Donny’s voice cracking up in laughter. She looked around for a friendly face but saw none. Determined to enjoy herself, she decided to stay. At the corner of the deck, Donny stood in an all-white tailored Steve Harvey suit with baby blue snakeskin ankle boots and a hat to match. Donny seemed to have cleaned up pretty good.

  “I didn’t know he had it in him.” Jelisa laughed to herself. Donny stood across from her, looking as good as ever. Jelisa suddenly felt something drip down the inside of her thigh and noticed her arms were covered in goose bumps. What was happening? This feeling that had come over her was different from any she had had being around Donny before.

  She tried shaking off the fact that just the sight of Donny tucked over in the corner made her moist. Against her better judgment, she took a couple more steps in his direction. She paused when he removed the shades from his face.

  He licked his lips, rubbed his perfectly shaped-up goatee, and nodded at Jelisa. “So you decided to grace us with your presence, huh, baby girl? You looking hella sexy in that dress.” Donny admired her skin-tight red dress and stiletto heels, which seemed to make her legs look like they went on for forever up her dress.

  His attempts to seduce her with his words were working. She found herself captivated by his whole persona, and all the time she spent trying to be faithful to Shamar seemed to not even matter anymore. Her inhibitions began to subside as she imagined what it would be like to spend the night with him. The next thing she knew, she was face to face with Donny, taking in his Gucci cologne.

  She returned the compliment, stating, “You looking pretty good yourself. I guess you do clean up good. So you going to give me a tour or am I going to have to show myself around?” Inside, Jelisa knew she was playing with fire by flirting with Donny. Shamar would have a whole fit if he caught wind of her antics. But, unfortunately for him, his track record of being there for her was shaky as of late.

  Donny nodded, took her by the hand, and led her up the stairs to his master bedroom, which had a sliding glass door that led out to a balcony where she could see the clearest sky she had ever seen. The stars seemed to shine brighter than ever. Unbeknownst to her, Donny had grabbed a bottle of Hennessy on the way up to the room. There was a glass table and two glasses already filled with ice, awaiting their drinks. Donny was calculated, and he knew Jelisa wouldn’t be able to resist coming to see what he had thrown together. Just before she walked in, from inside the house Donny saw Jelisa getting out of her car. He was quick on his feet as he made sure things were in order when she came in. As she sipped the drink he poured for her, Donny leaned back against the rail of the balcony and smiled at her.

  “What? Why you looking at me like that?” Jelisa asked, cracking a smile and blushing.

  “Nothing. I’m just wondering what could be so important that a man would leave a woman like you alone. I mean, I know dude is in the military; but he couldn’t do nothing to stay home?” Donny was attempting to plant a seed of doubt in her heart in hopes that she would seek comfort in his arms someday.

  It wasn’t working. Even though the buzz from her drink was starting to kick in, she quickly snapped out of it. “What? I don’t know about all that. Where did that come from? Boy, I’m just trying to have a good time and you blowing my buzz with all that.”

  Donny didn’t panic. Knowing that his comment rubbed her the wrong way, he quickly recovered. “Naw, baby girl; it ain’t like that. Didn’t mean any disrespect. I’ll leave it alone. I don’t want to mess up the mood.” He gently ran his hand across her cheek, and she quickly forgave him. The smell of his cologne on his hand made her forget what she was offended about.

  “You good. I just don’t like to get into my personal business when I’m chilling, that’s all. You got a nice place here. I had no idea it was this nice. Looking at it from the outside, it didn’t seem so big. You live here all by yourself?”

  Donny liked that she was impressed by his bachelor pad. “Thanks, I try. Yeah, I’m in here solo. You know, maybe one day that special lady will come and make this house into a home. For now, it’s me and my son. He spends the weekends with me when he’s not with his mother.”

  Jelisa was more impressed that he was an involved father than she was that he had his own place. She could feel the liquor starting to take a stronger effect on her as she knocked back a second and third drink. Jelisa kept checking the time on her phone trying to make sure she didn’t
allow herself to stay longer than she should. She set her phone on the table next to her drink and returned her attention to their conversation. As more time went by she could feel herself getting sleepy, as she usually did when she drank too much. Her street sense kicked in and reminded her not to trust even Donny when alcohol was involved. She knew that most men wouldn’t hesitate to slip her into the bed and out of her dress in her condition.

  “Well, it’s getting late. I should probably be getting out of here.”

  Seeing his opportunity to have her for the night slipping away, Donny protested. “Naw, baby girl, you ain’t gotta go nowhere. I’ll take you home if you don’t feel up to driving.”

  Not one to be fooled, Jelisa refused. “No, I’m straight. Thanks, though.”

  “Well, at least let me walk you to your car.”

  Jelisa nodded in agreement.

  Donny walked her to the driver’s side of her car, gave her a hug, and watched as she drove off. In his mind, he was satisfied that he at least planted the seed. She may not have given in just yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time. For now, at least the wall she had put up was down. He now had a little more of her trust, and he was patient and persistent enough to wait for his chance.

  * * *

  Jelisa barely made it back home without wrecking her car. She took all of the side streets and stopped at every stop sign completely, trying not to attract any attention to herself. This evening had been just what she needed to get her mind off of the drama with her mother.

  When she made it in the apartment, Shawnie and TT were fast asleep on the couch. Mya had also fallen asleep with her head on Shawnie’s chest. Jelisa didn’t want to wake them, so she quietly went into the back to her room. She showered and changed clothes, and then carefully maneuvered into the kitchen to fix herself a drink. When she dropped a cube of ice on the floor, Shawnie jumped up. She was a light sleeper, and she was so startled that she nearly knocked Mya to the floor, but her reflexes caught her.