Whispers of the Heart

by Stephanie Wilson

  Time was frozen as their hearts melted into one. The music and the people faded to black. His lips lingered over hers, tasting her sweetness. Gently, reverently he slid his hands up her neck until they embraced her chin and cheekbones. Tenderly he ran a coarse finger along her chin. The kiss deepened when he wrapped his arms around her back, supporting her craned neck.

  Imperceptibly, Erika became aware of her surroundings. Though it was torture, she carefully slid a tiny hand to his chest, pushing slightly to gain his attention. T.J. unwillingly broke the kiss holding her tightly against him, resting his head on the top of her silken tendrils.

  After several moments and an unsuccessful attempt at slowing his heightened breathing, T.J. tilted Erika’s face to where he could see her eyes. His heart melted as their smoky, emotion-filled eyes locked. Her perfect lips now slightly red parted and her chin now reddened from his stiff whiskers quivered slightly.

  There was a glow about her. Though their kiss only lasted a few minutes, it was enough to bind their hearts together. Each wished for a lifetime. Each knew it would take a miracle. And one knew it was a dream that could never come true.

  As Erika gazed into the blue orbs of the man she loved, she realized a blind had been lifted from her eyes. The emotion she had felt for Steve Caslin, though she had known him considerably longer than T.J., was nothing more than physical attraction. For the first time, she knew what it was like to experience true love. Though there were many secrets that would most likely divide their lives forever, for right now, they belonged to each other.

  Suddenly everyone was clapping, for the band had ended their song, a tune that was even now being played on country stations across the country. Erika stepped back and dropped her head. The moment was broken. Glancing quickly at the others, Erika realized that she and T.J. had been the object of much speculation and enjoyment. Her face began to burn in embarrassment. T.J. sensed her unease and immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders, causing her to glance his direction. Smiling, he released her and grabbed her hand in his and led her back to the table.

  Maime was beside herself. It had not escaped her rapt attention, of course. Her eyes had been glued to the dance floor. Every movement, every expression, every tender glance had been noted. Papa’s leg had received a beating underneath the table as each petal of newfound love had unfolded.

  When T.J. had finally bent his head to kiss Erika, even Papa secretly hoped each could find their way through the maze they had created and into each other’s hearts. In Papa’s opinion, T.J. had finally found one worthy of him. He had become so impressed with Erika that he had even stopped commanding Maime to mind her own business.

  Harry watched as they made their way back toward their table. A worried expression flashed through his eyes. Sadness settled upon him as he contemplated his earlier conversation with Erika. It was obvious she knew nothing of T.J.’s background. Equally obvious, after spending a day in their company, that T.J. knew little about hers. Knowing T.J. as he did, Harry knew their secrets could trample the tender shoots of new love. He prayed that somehow circumstances would intervene in their situation. He must warn T.J. as soon as possible about his earlier conversation with their pretty guest. It didn’t take a blind man to see how attached the two had become.

  The country band began playing an old two-step tune when Harry asked Erika for a dance. She agreed only when he promised he wouldn’t be embarrassed by her ineptness. He whispered his agreement by confiding that he had never been much good at it either. Ballroom dancing had always been much more his style.

  After a time, Erika asked Harry something that had caught her attention earlier that evening.

  “Why did Tim promise you that you would be on that boat at next year’s Derby?”

  “Oh, no reason,” he responded trying to ward off her curiosity. “It’s just that ... at my age, anything could happen.”

  “I suppose so,” she said somewhat concerned but knowing that their brief acquaintance did not give her permission to pry into his personal affairs.

  “Harry, I’m leaving in a few days. I have really enjoyed my time here ... and I have really enjoyed spending some time with you.”

  “Oh, we’ll be seein’ one another again soon,” he said with a knowing wink.

  “Actually,” she said briefly glancing away from his direct stare, “I don’t think we will be seeing one another ... at least not here. You see,” she said quickly gazing at the other couples littering the dance floor, “there are some ... problems ... at the place where ... I work ... and I may have to return a few days ahead of schedule. I had so wanted to visit your ... hideaway ... in the woods, Harry. From Tim’s description, it sounds like a storybook cottage.”

  Harry chuckled at T.J.’s boyhood fascination with his wooded cabin by the babbling brook. Often, he had made up stories, encouraging Tim to use his imagination to learn about the lives of famous American explorers and mountain men. Perhaps, Harry thought briefly, he had overdone it some. The woman would probably be surprised at its lack of storybook charm.

  Erika let the strains of the music wash over her. The soulful sounds struck a chord within her own heart. She knew she must do something to ward off this sudden case of melancholy. Ever since T.J. had turned her world and her good intentions upside down with his tender kiss, hopelessness had settled around her heart. Her mood lifted somewhat as she thought of the many women who would fight tooth and nail to be in her shoes.

  “You know, Marie,” Harry said when the band had gone into an instrumental set, “I need to get some air. Wanna go with me to that patch of grass out front?”

  Erika quickly searched the crowd for T.J. A slight smile formed at the corners of her mouth as she spotted him engrossed in conversation with the Derby winner and his partners. Knowing her presence wouldn’t be missed in the slightest, she agreed.

  The night air had a piercing chill that previous evenings had lacked. Erika inhaled sharply against the cold breezy air as it stung her tender skin. Silently she followed Harry to the sandy shoreline of the lake. It was so still. So incredibly still. Only at intervals could you hear the muffled sounds from the party in the lodge behind. The candlelight cast a soft shadow on the fading Shasta Daisy’s lining the grassy slope that led to the waters below.

  Harry had moved toward two weathered Adirondack chairs perched on the edge of a five-foot bluff above the water. After some minutes passed, Erika checked the left-hand chair for moisture and finding none, silently sank onto the cold peeling wood. Glancing at Harry, Erika watched as his eyes roamed the heavens. She then followed his stare up to a brilliant starry display of lights.

  “What ...,” she breathed.

  “The Northern Lights,” he explained succinctly, immediately understanding her surprised pleasure.

  “I’ve ... never seen ... anything like it,” she breathed.

  “I know,” he said simply.

  “How does that happen?” she asked after a time.

  Minutes passed before he finally answered her. “There are scientific explanations for it ... there are ecological reasons for it. I’ve spent years studying them. Eventually, you just chalk it up to God.”

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Really.”

  Harry and Erika sat in perfect companionship as each gazed at the spectacular show of lights, each reverently acknowledging the vastness of the universe and the smallness and seemingly insignificance of man. Soon, however, their thoughts would turn to the day just behind them.

  He would lament on missing Bob and of not winning the Derby, and wondering if .... perhaps .... there would be a next time. And glad, if he would admit it, that Bob was still roaming the black depths of the waters before him. Always illusive.

  Her thoughts would skip like a rock tossed across the lake from her painting almost finished on the sun porch of her lakeside cottage, to her newly acquired domestic skills. And then her thoughts would skip to Maime, the only woman to take an interest in touching her heart
since her mother’s death. Finally, the rock of her thoughts would sink, leaving ripples in their wake. Stretching and stretching until they all but disappeared into the black waters beyond. It reminded her of her world back in Los Angeles. Her experience at Priest Lake would leave ripples in her life. She didn’t want them to disappear, blend into the landscape of her life. She wanted the memory to stay fresh until the day she died.

  Finally, her thoughts wandered to the man who occupied her dreams. His world was like a cocoon she decided. It sheltered and protected him from the outside world. Sitting here surrounded by the mountain ranges of ancient timber reminded Erika of just how far away her world was. As if ... it no longer existed. Then she remembered her earlier phone call with Lawrence and reality crashed in around her. Somehow the inevitable crushed her soul. Leaving Tim and his home behind would irrevocably change her life forever. How much he had ingrained himself into the fabric of her life. Never were her thoughts far from him.

  The kiss. She would always remember that kiss. In the dark and lonely nights ahead, she would warm herself in the memory of that kiss ... so tender, so loving. Of course, she knew his feelings toward her were not as deep as hers, but it didn’t matter because he would never have a chance to find out what was in her heart.

  Harry had ceased gazing at the vast sparkly sky several minutes ago. Preferring, for the moment, to study the girl woman sitting next to him, wrapped up in thoughts that seemingly carried her far, far from the lake. Concern etched his wrinkling, kindly face as he studied her petite profile. A fatherly impulse to gather her in his arms all but overwhelmed him. It reminded him of what he had missed. The ache was excruciatingly sharp.

  Slowly he shifted his eyes to the ground as he stretched his well-trimmed form out over his knees, resting his elbows on their pointed bones. Rummaging through the pebbles between his boots, it took Harry some minutes to find something of satisfaction. Smiling he lifted the object for a closer inspection. Finding that it would do, he gruffly brushed the dirt away.

  “Here,” he said with an outstretched hand toward Erika.

  “Oh,” she said somewhat amused. “It’s a ... rock,” she said turning it from one side to the next. “Thanks, Harry.”

  Chuckling, he explained. “It’s not just any rock, my dear. Don’t think of it as ... just a ‘rock’. Think of it as a piece of the lake you can take back with you. When your memories of this place begin to fade, this,” he said tapping the rock in her outstretched hand, “will be a reminder to you. A tangible reminder of what you discovered here ... of the people who live here.”

  “Thank you,” she said with misty eyes. “Somehow I think you were reading my mind.”

  “No,” he said with a far-off smile. “No one can read your mind. I just ... I just think I know what you’re feeling right now.”

  Gazing at his profile, Erika decided to pry ... just a little. “How’s that?” she questioned.

  “You are not the only one who will be leaving here,” he said softly.

  “You?” she questioned with shock.

  “But, why? I thought this was your home! I thought you didn’t even like to be around people!”

  Surprise ignited his eyes. “Who told you that,” he cried and then waved her answer away.

  “This is my home. More than you will ever know.”

  “Then, why are you leaving? Is that why Tim promised that you would be on his fishing boat next year for the Derby?”

  “Partially. You see ... I have a medical condition that needs some attention. Doctors here and in Spokane think that if I were to see a specialist back East, I could be helped.”

  For many minutes, they sat in silence. She was unwilling to break into his thoughts, giving him time to solidify his feelings.

  “It’s my eyes,” he finally said. “They are not as good as they once were. In fact, doctors here say I may be blind in a year due to an advancing condition.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Erika cried.

  “But, your carvings ...”

  “Yes, my carvings,” he mused. “I will miss that most of all. I’m not so sure I will have to give it up all together though. For years, I have sat on my porch gazing out at the brook... carving. I have carved whole images without even looking at the block in my hand. I think ... possibly ... I could still carve.”

  “Well, that’s good news,” Erika said misunderstanding his longing.

  “The specialist,” he said after some time. “That’s not why I’m leaving.”

  Silence.

  “I have a daughter,” he said. “I haven’t seen her, in person, since her mother took her from this place twenty years ago. She said it wasn’t a fit place to raise a child.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered covering his hand gently with hers.

  “You are the reason I’m leaving, you know.”

  At Erika’s wide-eyed expression, Harry continued. “You remind me so much of her. She is only a bit older than you. But just as beautiful in a lighter way. She’s blond,” he said smiling into the distance.

  “Her mother and I waited so many years for her to come. We had given up all hope of ever having children when she popped into our lives. She brought so much joy. So much light.”

  “Why haven’t you seen her?” she asked gently.

  After a long sigh, he answered her haltingly. “I don’t really know. Sometimes we can become so .... wrapped up in being right that we lose sight of others. I was very, very wrong. I know that now. I guess ... I can be somewhat bullheaded at times.”

  “Yes,” she smiled to herself. “I know.”

  “Does she know that you are coming ... home?”

  “This is home,” he said fiercely. “No. No, she doesn’t know I’m coming. I’m not sure what she will say after all these years. She has been a dutiful daughter, you know. We’ve written ... we email each other all the time now.”

  Erika was amused that Harry would even own a computer, let alone use email. It prompted another thought.

  “Tim told me that you are ... quite active ... in the business world,” she said tentatively.

  “What all did he tell you?” he asked suspiciously.

  “Just that you were not what you appeared to be.”

  “Well, aren’t we all,” he said gruffly. Then, sighing, he reluctantly continued.

  “Tim’s right. I’m not the ... hermit I appear to be. I own majority stocks in several major corporations.”

  “Then how ...”

  “How did I end up here?” he posed the question for her.

  “I’ve made enough money to sustain several generations. The world is very jading. I didn’t want to raise my family that way. I wanted to give them something better ... something more wholesome. So, I moved them here, to this exquisite playground,” he said enveloping the area with his outstretched arms. “I just didn’t know I would be enjoying it alone.”

  “I’m sorry,” she once again expressed. “I suppose you asked them if they wanted to move here before you turned their world upside down.”

  Sending a sharp, sideways glance at Erika, Harry pulled his lips into a grim line giving her a glimpse of a younger man, very set in his ways.

  “My daughter and her husband run my corporate offices. I keep track of everything on my computer and I am on very good terms with Idaho’s express delivery system.”

  Harry rubbed his hands together briskly, warding off the chill. “My daughter’s pregnant now. I don’t want to miss seeing my only grandchild. If I go blind, I don’t want to miss that.”

  “I think that is a very good reason to go back,” Erika said softly patting his rough hand.

  “And, missy, what about you? When are you returning to that world out there?” he asked, tired now of their previous conversation.

  “In a few days,” she mused.

  “Tell me,” he said leaning down over his knees once again, sifting through rocks the Lodge lights only partially illuminated. “What about Tim.”

  “Wha
t about him?” she asked, suddenly wanting to end their intimate conversation and join the others inside.

  Harry leaned back in his chair before sending a penetrating look her way. “You know exactly what I mean.”

  “There’s nothing much to tell,” she said nervously. “We’ve had a wonderful time together, but we live very different lives. I think we’re both adult enough to know that though the attraction is certainly there .... it could never work. It really is as simple as that,” she said rising and preparing to leave.

  “Missy,” he said catching her hand before she sailed back to the Lodge. “Things are never as they appear. Take it from a very old man. You have one chance at happiness -- and some don’t even have that. When you are blessed with it, you gotta take it and run. Nothing ... nothing is more important than that,” he said passionately.

  “I don’t know what kind of life you have back in Los Angeles, but it can’t be more important to you than ... love.”

  Withdrawing her hand, Erika stopped and gazed directly into Harry’s tired gray eyes.

  “Harry, sometimes it has everything to do with love. Sometimes sacrifice is the greatest form of love.”

  “Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you guys,” came a shout from back at the Lodge. Harry and Erika turned quickly to see T.J.’s long legs quickly covering the distance.

  “Harry,” Erika implored. “Please, don’t tell him. He doesn’t know anything,” she whispered.

  Without an answering response, each turned to smile at their friend.

  “We both needed a bit of fresh air,” Harry was explaining. “And I, of course, could never resist a beautiful lady.”