Chapter Sixteen
I hadn't been able to stop worrying about dinner with Cameron's parents.
I had no idea why they'd invited me. It was obvious they hadn't talked to their son in months, or seen him in person for much longer than that. Wouldn't they want to have a private family dinner?
But there had been something about the way Sharon had kept throwing pleased, almost ecstatic glances my way. It was disconcerting.
Cameron hadn't mentioned anything to me about the dinner after his parents left. I would have thought he was upset that I'd accepted, but then I remembered he'd looked almost happy when I'd said yes.
I also remembered how odd he'd acted around them.
I replayed their conversation in my head for days.
Cameron had rushed to tell his parents who I was. To explain that I wasn't a fan.
His father had been about to say how nice it was for Cameron to be around someone other than his usual company. He had cut himself off before he could finish his sentence.
His mother had been overly friendly. Hugging me. Wanting to know more about me. Inviting me to dinner.
And the way Cameron had acted, effusive and enthusiastic. He hadn't been his normal self.
I knew I was missing something, missing some connection. But Cameron hadn't brought up his parents to me again.
All I could do was wait.
I came home from class one day to find DVDs of part two and three of The Terminator propped up on the door to my bedroom. I assumed that meant he wanted to continue our movie night. I tracked Cameron down, DVDs in hand.
He was in his gym, working out on the weight machine. I paused in the doorway. Without meaning to, I found myself drinking in the sight of his firm, toned arms, the shifting muscles in his chest, the beads of sweat that ran down his abs in rivulets.
He wasn't bulky. His physique was still lean and trim. But those well defined muscles gave him a toned look that set my heart pounding.
I didn't know how long I stood there, mesmerized, but it was long enough for Cameron to notice. He set down the weights with a loud clank.
"I'd tell you to take a picture, but I'm sure there are more than enough on the internet if you really want to ogle my body."
I started, gripping the DVDs tight in my hand.
"Sorry. I don't mean to stare. It's just… you're just…" My tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth.
"Really hot?" Cameron smirked.
"Yeah," I said dumbly. I flushed when I realized what I'd said.
"Surely your all-girls school didn't keep you that sheltered." Cameron grabbed a towel from a rack and wiped his face. The bright red hair was darker from sweat. "You keep on acting like you haven't seen a half-naked man before."
The flush on my cheeks burned even brighter.
Cameron noticed. "Wait. Are you serious?" A look of shock crossed his face. "Are you telling me you've never…. That you're a…"
Virgin.
It was too embarrassing to say out loud. I nodded silently instead.
"Fuck." Cameron's gaze narrowed, sweeping up and down my body. He opened his mouth to speak, before closing it with a snap. His towel hung limply in his hands.
"Is it that shocking?" I folded my arms over my chest defensively. "So I'm a little sheltered. If you're going to make fun of me—"
"No." He cut me off sharply. The look in his eyes had changed. The surprise had trickled away. Instead, that simmering heat had returned. It was a look I hadn't seen in weeks, ever since that party when I'd shown up in that short black skirt.
Cameron had talked about doing indecent things to me.
A warmth began to flow throughout my body, centering between my legs. I squirmed, pressed my thighs together. That look in his eyes, combined with the memory of his words sent my heart beating faster.
"Is it bad?" I asked.
"Is what bad?" He sounded as if he could barely force the words past his lips.
"Being a virgin. Is it that bad?"
"Fuck no." His eyes burned into mine. "You've really never had sex before? So when we were talking about our kinks and you couldn't come up with anything…" He ran a hand over his face. "Fuck, I'm such an asshole."
"No you're not."
"I am." He met my eyes again. "I shouldn't have been flirting with you. I shouldn't have been teasing you. And I sure as fuck shouldn't—"
I twisted the hem of my shirt in my hand, nervous, but wanting to know. "Shouldn't what?"
His eyes blazed. "Shouldn't be thinking of teaching you."
My mind exploded at those words. A pulsing ache throbbed between my thighs. My legs went shaky, my breathing shallow. I slowly approached him.
"What if I want you to teach me?"
"Fuck." He threw his towel to the ground. "Lily, you can't just say things like that."
"I'm sorry," I said automatically.
"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been encouraging this."
I was steps away from him. I closed the distance. I placed a hand on his chest.
"I like it when you flirt with me," I confessed. "I like it when you tease me. I like it when you call me your Angel."
"Lily…" His voice was pained. "You don't know how much I…" His eyes fell to my mouth. "…how much I wish you were just a normal girl."
All the air left the room.
"But this?" he continued. "This can't happen."
My heart sunk. I looked down, not meeting his eyes.
"I get it. I'm Noah's baby sister. You can't betray his trust."
"It's not just that," he muttered. "I can't fucking do this to you."
"Do what to me, exactly?"
"You go speechless whenever you see me without a shirt," he said with utter patience.
I flushed, understanding his meaning. "Oh. You mean, because I've never…?"
He gave me an almost wry smile. "Don't you know your first time is supposed to be special?"
"Are you saying it wouldn't be special with you?" I gave him my best teasing smile, trying not to waver. "And here I thought you prided yourself on pleasing the ladies."
He shot me a look. "That's different."
I shifted closer, until I was practically pressed against him. "How is it different?"
"I've never—" He snapped his jaw closed, looking frustrated.
Understanding dawned on me. "Have you never been someone's first before?"
"No." He ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, looking exhausted. "At least, I don't think I have." He glanced down at where my hand rested on his chest. He traced the back of my hand with the tip of his finger. Heat radiated from that single point of contact, sending nervous excitement flooding through me. "And I've never…"
I leaned closer, bringing our faces closer together. "Never what?"
His eyes dropped to my lips again. I wet them unconsciously. He shut his eyes with a groan. When he opened them, they were full of fire.
"I've never wanted to be someone's first before." His eyes were still focused on my mouth.
"I want you to be mine," I said softly. "I don't want anyone else. I want it to be you."
I mustered all the bravery I could. I wrapped my arms around his neck, until my breasts were pressed to his chest.
"I want you to teach me. I want you to teach me everything."
"Fuck." His eyes blazed. "I told you. Don't say shit like that to me."
"Or what?" I challenged. "What are you going to do?"
He placed his hands on my hips, thumbs rubbing the sensitive skin exposed between my tank top and skirt. A spike of heat hit my gut like a blow, nearly taking my breath away.
"This is such a bad fucking idea," he murmured.
Pushing his hair away from his face with both hands, I met his blue eyes. They were burning with need. I stood on my tiptoes until we were face to face. I leaned forward, until we were inches away.
"I want you, Cameron."
I could practically sense the moment he snapped. The pupils of his eyes dila
ted, blowing wide open. Cameron let out a low grunt.
"Fuck it," he growled.
He closed the gap and pressed his lips to mine.
Fireworks exploded over my vision.
I dug my fingernails into his shoulders reflexively.
It was a soft kiss, light and sweet. I never would have expected sweetness from Cameron Thorne.
But he kissed me slowly, mouth moving over mine, fingertips brushing my cheek gently.
I stood still, unable to breathe, unable to think.
His tongue swiped at the seam of my lips. I parted them, letting his tongue brush with mine. The heat of it, the taste of him, sent me reeling. I did whimper then, heat surging through my body, filling me to my very core. The beginnings of wetness made itself known between my legs.
He was only kissing me and I was already wet for him. Was that my inexperience showing? Should I have been that turned on from something so simple and innocent? It wasn't my first kiss. There had been teenaged fumblings. But it was my first kiss with someone I cared so much about.
Cameron bit down on my lower bit lightly, before pushing his tongue back into my mouth. Our lips tangled, hot and fervent. He brought a hand to the back of my neck, tugging me closer. Kissing me harder.
There was nothing innocent about this kiss.
His other arm pulled me close, until our hips were pressed together. I gasped when I felt the evidence of his arousal. I clung closer to him kissing him desperately.
The sound of a cell phone ringing made the both of us freeze. We met each other's eyes.
"That's your phone," he said hoarsely.
I contemplated ignoring it. But I recognized the ringtone.
We slowly pulled apart, reluctantly. I took a step back, eyes still locked on Cameron, and pulled my phone out to answer it.
"Hey Noah," I said, trying to fake a casual tone and not sound breathless.
Cameron went pale. He mouthed a curse.
"What's wrong?" My brother asked immediately.
"Nothing. Just doing some school work."
I could sense Noah's skeptical frown.
"What do you need?" I asked before he could continue questioning me.
"Jen's planning a small get together with the guys and her friends. A belated welcome home party."
"That's nice of her."
"She wants to know what weekend you're free."
"I'm free every weekend."
"Don't you go out and do stuff? Haven't you made any friends in your classes?"
"I'm always studying."
I was swamped with readings and essays, it was true, but I couldn't deny that I kept my nights and weekends free in case Cameron wanted to hang out.
I snuck a glance at him.
Cameron had walked to the other side of the room, his back to me. One hand was tangled in his hair. I could sense a freak out was imminent.
"Tell Jen thank you," I said hurriedly. "I'm free whichever weekend she wants to throw it. I'll talk to you later. Love you."
I hung up before he could reply.
"Cameron…" I said hesitantly.
"Fuck fuck fuck," he cursed quietly.
"It's okay."
"No, it's fucking not."
He turned to me, forehead lined with pain.
"That shouldn't have happened," he said.
A pain of hurt shot through my chest. "I wanted it to happen."
"It was still wrong. Maybe—" he paused, avoiding my eyes. "Maybe it's better if you moved out."
"What?" I blurted out. "No! I want to stay here."
With you, went the unspoken words.
"I don't think it's a good idea any more. This — this thing between us — there's no way it can end well."
Cameron picked the towel up from the floor and made his way over to the door where I was standing.
"You're Noah's baby sister. He trusts me to watch out for you. If I betray him like this…"
His eyes were guarded, but I still caught a hint of that heat I'd seen before.
"I'll talk to your brother. We'll figure something out. Find you a place to live."
Cameron gave me one last look, almost mournful, before turning away and walking out the door.
"But I don't want to go."
I should have been embarrassed at the plaintive, almost pathetic, words that left my mouth.
He was already gone.
Chapter Seventeen
Cameron wanted me to leave.
That thought kept running around in circles in my head for the rest of the day. I'd holed myself up in my room, trying to do my reading through blurry eyes as I fought off tears.
I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Not after what he said. Instead, I lay on my stomach in bed, clutching a pillow to my chest.
I tried to console myself with the thought that he didn't really want me to leave. He was just trying to…
Trying to what?
Avoid temptation?
Cameron was attracted to me. He had been from the beginning. He'd told me as much at the concert. It had only been after he'd found out I was Noah's sister that he had backed off. He'd told me it would never happen again.
Despite the heated looks, the teasing and flirting, along with the moments between us, rife with unspoken tension, he'd stayed true to his word.
Until he'd kissed me.
I rolled on my back, and put the pillow over my face, flushed and hot as I remembered the kiss.
I was just as attracted to Cameron as he was to me. And it wasn't just because he was really really hot, as he'd so modestly put it.
Cameron was thoughtful. Sweet. He did everything he could to make me feel comfortable in his home. He ate pizza with me and watched movies with me.
He said he didn't think of me as a young girl. That he didn't think of me as a little sister.
And that was why he was kicking me out of his house.
It wasn't because he didn't want me here.
It was because he wanted me here too much.
Cameron said he would never betray my brother's trust. If I wasn't Noah's sister… if I was any other girl…
But I wasn't. I was Lily Hart. Nothing could change that.
I groaned and rolled over to sit up in bed, dangling my legs over the edge. I stared at the floor, wondering if there was any way to change Cameron's mind.
When nothing came to me, I gave up and started getting ready for bed. When I opened the closet doors, I remembered when Cameron had checked it for monsters in jest. When I pulled on a pair of yoga shorts and a tank top, I remembered what he'd said about me looking cute in them.
Maybe Cameron was right. If there could never be anything between us, maybe it was better if I left. Wouldn't it just hurt more to be near him every day and not be able to be with him?
I'd probably have to move back in with Noah and Jen, at least until school officially started and I could move into the dorms.
That wasn't so bad, I tried to tell myself. I would get to see more of my brother. And I liked his girlfriend. We got along well.
Not as well as I got along with Cameron.
Because we did get along well. We made each other laugh just as much as we pushed each other's buttons. He did thoughtful, sweet things for me, like leaving me ear plugs for his party. I liked to think I did nice things for him, like keeping him company during his movie nights.
We were friends.
We were becoming more than friends.
And despite knowing my brother would disapprove, I couldn't help thinking maybe Cameron and I would be good for each other. We'd gotten to know each other. And we'd come to like each other.
More than like each other.
Cameron was the first boy I'd ever had real feelings for.
The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. It was unfair I couldn't be with someone just because my brother wouldn't approve.
My brother didn't approve of a lot of things when it came to me and how I lived my life.
I knew I
'd never get him to see straight when it came to this, when it came to me and Cameron. I was his baby sister, the one he was supposed to take care of and protect. Cameron was irresponsible, a party animal who slept around and never took anything seriously.
If that was all Cameron was, I might have been able to understand. But Cameron was so much more than that. Noah couldn't see past it. But I could.
Even after everything that had happened, Cameron and I were still friends. I didn't want to throw that away.
I decided I wasn't going to let Cameron hide from me any longer. We had to talk about what happened, talk about his reasons for kicking me out.
I had to convince him to change his mind.
I came home from classes late one evening, having stayed at the library late, resolved and with a purpose. I'd find Cameron and force him to listen to me.
Another party was in full swing when I arrived. Music blasted from every window and drunk partygoers spilled out from every entryway.
Cameron hadn't mentioned throwing another party. Then again, he hadn't mentioned anything to me at all over the last few days.
It had been days since I'd last seen him. He went back to hiding from me. That was how he dealt with me with whenever something happened between us. Running away.
I'd lived in dread that every day would be the day Noah showed up to bring me home. So far that hadn't happened. Maybe Cameron was putting it off. Maybe he was just as reluctant as I was.
And maybe he just couldn't figure out a way to explain to Noah why he wanted me to leave without incriminating himself.
It was going to be hard to find Cameron in this noisy, boisterous crowd. The mansion was large enough it might have taken more than an hour to explore every floor trying to track him down.
I shoved and squeezed my way through the mass of people, searching the mansion room by room. I couldn't find Cameron anywhere. He wasn't in the kitchen. He wasn't out by the pool. He wasn't even in the movie theater room. Those were the places I always looked for him first.
I texted him, asking if we could talk, but as I expected I didn't receive an answer.
Dejected, I contemplated whether to just head to my bedroom and try to sleep through the noise, or whether to shake it off and join the party. Without Cameron to shut off the speakers in the third floor, it was going to be a long night.
Hard Rock Sin: A Rock Star Romance Page 10