As I soon will be wallowing in my river of self-pity once again.
To God, I apologize for halting my transcriptions,
But I must provide energy to my body
So that I may defend myself from the visions
As they are intensifying.
VIII
pride
We called it Reflection Point,
A place where the prophets could go to reflect
Upon all aspects of life.
It was a beautiful and inspiring place
In every detail of its existence.
Sitting high on a hilltop in the northern valley,
It was not an easy place to venture to.
One had to endure long distance and treacherous encounters
With land and animals in order to reap its benefits.
All those who traveled to seek guidance
Respected the foundation and its surroundings
As it was the basis of which existence
Became understandable.
Fellow prophets would travel
From far lands to envision the ancient relic.
It was told that the creation of enlightenment
Was conjured from its presence.
The structure was simple in design
With an open courtyard that was surrounded
By marble pillars and statues of God.
Being atop of the hill gave the visitor an opportunity
To view the surrounding world in a full spectrum.
The clarity of the horizons was breathtaking to behold
And provided much inspiration to those
Who took the time to contemplate it.
There was no denial that God himself
Constructed the monument
As a way to thank the prophets for their service.
No human hand could ever recreate
The wonderful etchings within the statues
Or the expanding columns that protruded into the heavens.
It was considered an entry point to the glorious blessings of God,
Where one could pray and worship
Knowing that their words would be heard by the clouds.
The weather around the monument
Was always perfect and ripe
Regardless of what hardships
Were endured during the journey there.
The tranquility of the scenery was unmatched
By any other portion of the world;
As if God withheld the ultimate peace from the planet
In order to make the monument atmosphere
That much more unique.
The hill that supported the monument
Was dense with forests and
Provided no assistance to reaching the top.
The terrain was not for the physically weak or undetermined
As the lack of a man-made path
Served as a righteous passage
That blocked most visitors who were deemed unworthy.
Only the strong willed would see the treasure and
Reap the benefits of achieving their goal.
Their determination would receive the visions
And riches of the hilltop
Through enlightenment and creativity.
Most prophets believed that one
Could grasp the same gifts
By remaining at the base of the hill
Instead of venturing to the top.
It was untrue as God strategically
Placed dangers that lurked around the base
In the form of predators and poisonous vegetation
To distract those who lingered beyond their welcome.
At the bottom, prophets only had two options.
One was to ascend the hill
While the other was to turn and leave.
God did allow for a brief period
Of thought gathering in order to make a proper decision.
When rushed, the mind would often
Make immoral decisions
Without the full consent of the body.
Therefore, to enable the mind to fully absorb
The greatness of the task at hand,
God granted for an interlude of deep thought.
However, if the prophet overstayed
Or chose to selfishly extend the time,
He would be promptly escorted from the area
Either by an invasion of fearful thought
Or pushed out by a pack of wild dogs.
Either option was demoralizing to the prophet and
Would last in their memories for quite some time.
It was meant as a punishment for their confusion.
It was believed that all misunderstandings should be depleted
During the journey prior to reaching the threshold of the hill.
The long duration of the voyage served
As a means to drain the rational thought of the prophet.
One had to relinquish all personal goals and dreams
So that the mind was capable to receive more.
It was believed that one could not fully focus
His attentions on the visions of God
If he was concerned about his current salvation or
Burdened by worrisome acts.
A true prophet bled for the opportunity
To sacrifice his will in order to ascend the hill.
The greatness that he would gather once atop
Would return his passion in a more prosperous state.
It was accustomed to relinquish your soul
In the security of God
Prior to climbing as a sign of respect and faithfulness.
Only then would a prophet fully justify his reasoning for being.
Only then would he truly understand the greatness that awaited.
The monument was a place of worship and enlightenment.
Some believed that they would hear the words of God
While others utilized the scenery for prosperity.
Regardless of why they came,
Each prophet would leave with a greater purpose
And a well-driven soul.
No one spoke of what gifts they received during their stay
As each translation was different per person.
Every vision or sign was meant for one prophet
And one prophet only.
It was considered disrespectful for the prophets
To share their experiences amongst one another.
If God intended for his visions to be shared among many,
He would have showed them the same visions himself.
That was not the case
As no two prophets received the same experience.
A normal stay on the hilltop for a traveling prophet
Lasted no more than two days.
Staying longer deciphered into greediness,
An overabundance of God’s word.
Those who greedily stayed passed their welcome
Would have the vengeance of God
Forced upon them and
Stricken of their enlightenment.
There were no comforts of a town or city
To grant a decent night sleep.
It was believed that one did not need these materials
As the dreams provided everything one would desire.
When you slept, you were allowed to envision the heavens.
You were allowed to walk amongst its long-grained fields.
You were allowed to taste the sweet nectar of its fruits and
Feel the warm breeze of its meadows.
Only sleeping upon the hill,
Were you allowed to dream in God’s garden
That many would not have the opportunity to experience.
It was considered a blessing to rest amongst the clouds
As it was the most peaceful slumber imaginable
Due to the protection that one felt.
There were no bad dreams,
Only visions o
f purity and contentment.
It served as a way to cleanse the soul and
Heal the wounds that often scar the mind.
The replenishment allowed for a complete recovery
From the hardships endured during life.
All emotional constraints and shackles of fear
Were broken so that the soul would be released.
That was why I traveled the distance from my homeland.
That was why I longed for the monument.
For the opportunity to cleanse myself
Of the grime of life,
The utter filth that one collects along the way
While trying to worship God.
The infestation of normal people
Haunted my sleep as I feared of becoming one.
I felt that those who did not share my beliefs
Endangered my existence with God.
Those who did not worship or
Pray were not worthy of my touch.
I kept my thoughts sacred from others and
Used my talents to preach the word of God.
Those who allowed for the opportunity
To hear my words were greeted with respect and friendship.
Those who denied my words
Were shunned from me and deemed a lost soul.
I had no energy to lend to lost souls as
I believed they would be dealt with
By the hand of God and
I was not going to trespass on the eternal punishment.
Conformity was not an easy task
In a human society with different opinions and views
Towards worship,
But I continued my lectures
In hopes to free more minds.
I tried to venture to the monument
At random intervals
Especially when I felt that my faith was lessening
Or if I felt overwhelmed by the number
Of lost souls engulfing me.
I would often feel besieged by the lost souls
As they tempted me to plummet into their
Sea of misery or tease me with their
Acts of evilness, but my faith for God
Always remained strong in the battle and
Allowed me to overpower their temptations.
The monument gave me a sense of purpose in my life.
It reassured me that I was not alone in my struggles.
I was never unsatisfied when leaving the hill,
I always had thoughts of inspiration to sustain me
Until the next visit.
It was comforting to see other prophets
With the same idealism as me,
Trying to spread the word of God
To those who desired it.
When returning to my town,
I would preach to the citizens
About my discoveries in hopes to better their lives.
Not all would listen to my words,
But I believed that those who did would benefit greatly.
I felt I had to at least provide them
With an opportunity to understand worship and
How it could increase their happiness.
At that moment, I found myself at the base of the hill
With others surrounding me and seeking the same visions.
The pause before the uphill journey began was always somber.
The hesitation in thought would determine
Whether the person would proceed or not.
If fear was allowed to intervene
Then their journey would be halted.
It was a stress endued task
To enter the demanding dense woods that aligned the bottom.
Many dangers awaited those who trespassed within it and
Once entangled there was no altering the course.
Changing direction midstream was considered disrespectful.
It was looked upon better if one were to not start
As opposed to shifting course
Once one was decided upon.
All prophets knew of that.
That was why many hesitated at the base.
Even I paused, though I had previously
Made the journey several times before.
It allowed for an opportunity
To reflect upon myself,
For my doubt to be subdued.
Some prophets reach the base and never ascend the hill.
They allowed their anxiety to conquer them.
Their punishment would be that they would never
Envision God and hear his words.
After a small hiatus of thought,
I left behind several others at the base.
I squeezed through two trees and
Decided that my destiny involved reaching the heavens.
The journey often times called
For creative foot placements and
Sturdy tree limbs in order to succeed.
All aspects of survival were to be tested.
All aspects of humanity were to be tested.
While climbing, a prophet would never see another.
The sensation of being alone
In the labyrinth of trees
Could be upsetting if one dwelled within it.
The most caustic onslaught on the mind
Was when a prophet became lost and twisted in their direction.
Panic and fear was not a companion
That was preferred during the journey.
Being able to focus with faith
Was the greatest asset
That would lead to success and the summit.
If lost, it was not easy to find the way
As God would tease the weak by contorting the landscape.
Turning around did not always mean
That one was returning to where they began.
An endless loop of trees was given to those
Who became flustered and tormented by their surroundings.
Being lost in the woods was not
A situation that any prophet beloved.
My first journey proved to be the worst as
I had indeed gotten lost where my patience and soul was tested.
Misery became my only ally and even he could not be trusted.
My mind battled with my body
Regarding which way to proceed.
The thought patterns were draining as my energy faded.
Being so weak minded, I even questioned my faith
As to why I was allowed to be lost
When all I desired was to worship.
I had failed.
Up became down and right became left.
I found myself spinning around
Trying to understand my direction, but
The identical trees that surrounded me made it difficult.
I had nothing left to give,
No energy and no commitment.
My heart had spilled more of its livelihood
With every tree I touched until it was empty.
I was completely beaten and betrayed by my mind.
I had no other option but to kneel and pray.
When all was lost and my faith was being questioned,
A single sun ray penetrated the thick trees and illuminated me.
The warmth of the sun pierced my skin and renewed my faith.
The sign pulled me from my coffin of despair and
Gave me the courage to continue.
I rose to my feet and singled out one path
Through the trees and kept to my thoughts.
I no longer randomly ventured with different directions;
I stayed to my path with purpose and faith in my decision.
For that, I was thankful to God.
My current journey offered the same difficulty as the past ones.
One never gets accustomed to the battered conditions
Of the lower hill area as they become altered
With every change of season.
Bei
ng that I had already previously been to the monument,
The visions of the reward aided me and
Gave me the necessary energy that I needed.
I had seen the glory that the journey led to.
I had experienced the peaceful slumber of the heavens
And required nothing else to persuade me further.
I doubted that I would see many of the visitors
That I bypassed at the top
As a few of them would not make it beyond the first challenge.
Choosing the unknown was never an easy task,
Especially for prophets who pride themselves in realization.
It was difficult for me at first to forego
My prior knowledge of the heavens
So that I would receive the new visions.
I had to realize that my previous
Understanding of God was incorrect.
Only then could I discard
My original thoughts and accept new ones.
Those who are unable to complete the task
Would be bombarded by both old and new concepts.
That internal struggle never ended well as
It would often break the spirit of the weak minded.
It was said that God used the process
As a means to exhaust the person and
Reduce it to a mere mindless being.
In order to succeed, a prophet must lose himself
In the situation and absorb the chaos of confusion
Before they were able to find themselves and
Truly rejoice in the glory.
The mind could only hold so many concepts
Before it blocked new ones from entering.
When filled to capacity, the mind would deny thoughts
Regardless of how beneficial they would be to the person.
It was common practice to reduce the capacity of the mind
So that the prophet could receive new visions.
The more vacant space there was
Meant that more of God’s ideas could enter and be held.
Those types of ideas kept me company
As I ascended the hill.
The Sinner 01 The Sinner Page 23