by Megan Smith
“Why was he watching you all night then?” He slammed the brakes when the traffic light turned red. “He wasn’t watching anyone else the way he was watching you.”
Sighing in frustration and wanting to cool him down so he didn’t kill us, I reached over and placed my hand on his thigh. “Babe, you have nothing to worry about. He was probably just making sure I didn’t fuck up is all.”
He huffed. “Well, you do that a lot.”
Biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying anything I keep my hand on his thigh rubbing circles with my thumb. Anything to keep him calm so he didn’t kill me.
We pulled up to Jax’s, Brian put the car in park but didn’t turn the engine off and I sent a silent prayer that he wouldn’t get out of the car because all I wanted to do was go upstairs, take a shower and go to bed.
“I want you to quit, Layla.”
I whipped my head around. “What? Quit? I just started and I need this money, Brian. I can’t rely on you to pay our bills.”
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “You’ll never make enough to pay for everything yourself, Layla. Plus, I don’t mind paying them.” He reached over, I flinched thinking he’s going to hit me but he slowed his movement and caressed my face. “I like that you depend on me.”
This is why exactly I needed this job. I didn’t want to depend on him but right this second I needed him because he’s the one keeping food on our table.
“I can’t quit.” I whispered.
His hand slid around to my neck where he grabbed a hold of me roughly and pulled me closer to him. His breath smelled of the whiskey I was pouring him all night and it made me want to gag. “You can and you will.”
He shoved me away and I quickly reached down for my bag and was out of the car in the next second. The tears were there but I refused to give in to them. I would not cry over doing this for my sister. And I would not quit.
Thursday afternoon, in between classes, Jaylinn and I sit under one of the trees in the courtyard. I’ve been working at Fierce for three weeks now. The money is flowing in, although it’s not enough for everything and I don’t get all the hours I need because of my class schedule and needing to take care of Fallon when my mom decides she doesn’t want to play mom. But it’s a start towards our independence.
Jaylinn is staring off into space, watching something only she apparently can see.
“You’ve been in a funk since opening night at Fierce.” I complain. She has, even though it was her that said she was ready to move on.
“I know,” she sighs. “I have been.”
“You need a little fun in your life.”
I’ve been trying to tell her she needs to go out on a date, to have a little fun. A few guys walk by and I point at one. “He’s cute.”
“Clearly we have different taste,” Jaylinn starts to say, “because…”
A guy dressed in black sneakers, tan cargo shorts and a black t-shirt that clings to his upper body walks by. He’s the opposite of the guy I just pointed out. He’s muscular, tall, and carries himself with confidence.
I start laughing. “Well, now we know what type of guy you’re into.”
The guy takes a seat on a bench just a little way down and I want to call out to him but Jaylinn glares at me. “Shut up.”
I start laughing and then it quickly fades away as I spot Brian walking in our direction. He makes me nervous when he comes around when I’m with Jaylinn. I’m afraid she’s going to see how he really is with me.
Brian crouches down. “You have a ride home?” and before I can answer he kisses me on the lips.
I catch Jaylinn rolling her eyes before looking away. “Shithead here is taking me to work but could you pick me up?” I ask.
Brian leans in for another kiss and I ball my hands into fists because I hate when he kisses me. I hate him but I still need him. I had to borrow a little bit of money to pay the gas bill so they would stop calling and harassing me about payment. I’d let the gas get turned off if we didn’t need it to cook.
Brian adjusts his book bag on his shoulder not even sparing Jaylinn a glance. “Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.”
“Bye.”
The second Brian leaves the relief floods me.
“Why do you do that?” Jaylinn asks annoyed.
I shrug, avoiding her question because I can’t explain to her the power Brian has over me right now. I know she sees the difference in me when he’s around.
Taking out the container of carrot sticks from my purse I take a bite of one.
Jaylinn rolls her eyes. “You never answered me.” She slides her sunglasses down her nose. “Why?” Because if you knew the real reason you would probably beat me over the head and tell me to leave that fucking asshole in the dust.
I just shrug again.
“Ugh,” Jaylinn pushes her sunglasses back up and grabs her Kindle out of her purse.
After eating a few carrot sticks I clear my throat and ask, “So, what are your plans for tonight?”
“Oh, now you want to talk?” She’s irritated with me and rightfully so. “I’ve got to go over to Chloe’s and help get a few things ready for Hailey’s baby shower.”
I take a bite of another carrot. I’m choking these things down like they are chocolate because it’s all we had in the fridge. I spot Ryan, a guy who is interested in Jaylinn, across the courtyard and he’s heading in our direction. He’s been trying to get her to go out with him for a few weeks now and I think she should do it just once.
She must have caught sight of him because she quickly tosses her Kindle in her purse and gathers her books.
“Hurry up.” Jaylinn urges me, trying to dodge Ryan.
I giggle. “You know you should just go out on a date with him and make it painfully boring and then maybe he’ll just leave you alone.”
“Hey, Jay,” Ryan says in a low husky voice that comes out more like a growl.
She tries to play off that she wasn’t about ready to run away from him. “Oh, hey Ryan, Layla and I are on our way out. She’s going to be late for work.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. Jaylinn glares me.
“Oh, yeah, where do you work at, Layla?”
I smile at Ryan. Poor guy doesn’t realize he’s being blown off. “That new c---”
Jaylinn cuts me off. “That new bistro down off College Drive.” She looks over at me begging me with her eyes to play along.
“Yeah,” Ryan reaches up and scratches at the scruff around his face. “I heard it was pretty nice.”
Jaylinn looks to me and then to Ryan and I’m trying too damn hard not to laugh because there isn’t a new bistro on College Drive. He’s just trying to act cool.
“Well, we’ve got to get going. We’ll talk to you later.” Jaylinn grabs my arm and drags me away as quickly as her legs allow.
When we’ve gotten a few hundred yards away she spins on me. “Thanks for fucking helping me.”
I put my hand up to cover my mouth and stifle the laughter that begs to escape. I don’t want her to know I was enjoying that more than I should have. “I’m sorry. Who knew you could think so quick on your feet. Is there really a new bistro on College Drive?”
“No,” she smiles. “I totally pulled that out of my ass.
I frown feeling bad for him. “Poor guy.”
“Poor guy? What about poor me?”
“Just go out with him, get it over with and be done with it.” I say seriously as we reach her car.
We climb into the car and I reach behind me for my seatbelt. “I don’t think that’s going to get rid of him.”
“You’ll never know.”
She sighs. “I’ll think about it.”
I reach up to change the radio station. “Good.”
Jaylinn and I don’t really talk on the ride over to Fierce. When we pull into the parking lot I see sadness wash over her.
“Jay,” I place my hand on her arm offering the little bit of comfort I can. “I know it’s hard an
d scary but you’re too amazing to be sitting here wallowing. If Cooper doesn’t see what he lost out on then that’s on him.”
Reaching down I grab my purse. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Layla.”
I shut the car door and she pulls away. I wish I could share my life with Jaylinn, hell, with anyone really but I just can’t expose myself like that. I have too much pride. Maybe if I did we could help each other more than we are right now. I know she’s keeping a big secret from me but I can’t press the issue because I’ve got more than my own share of secrets that I face on a daily basis.
Eli
Fierce has only been open a few weeks. Business is still doing really well, more so than I was expecting for the winter season. The last few weeks I have been spending morning, noon and night here. It’s a lot to handle some days and I feel like I really need Cooper here, but I assured him that I could handle things and that’s what I’m doing.
We just closed and I’m counting the tips and dividing the money between the bartenders. After I’ve figured it out, I walk out and hand them each an envelope of money. Bri, one of the bartenders, is fidgeting by the register. I walk over thinking maybe she had a ride waiting for her.
“Here you go.” I say handing her the envelope.
She snatches the envelope and practically runs to the door. No “thank you,” no nothing. I shake my head and hand Jackie her envelope and then Layla.
“Good night, everyone.” Jackie yells over her shoulder.
“Good night.” I say wishing I could just go home right now but I still need to cash out the registers.
I grab the upstairs cash drawer first and head back to my office. I work on cashing it out and counting the money in the drawer. It’s exact and that puts a smile on my face. I love when that happens. I finish up the paperwork and walk back out to grab one of the downstairs cash drawers and then the last and final one. The club is closed and everyone is gone now. I’m getting frustrated because I’ve counted this last drawer three times and it keeps coming up short by almost one hundred and fifty dollars. I look to see who was assigned to the drawer, Bri. “Shit.” I mutter. This is the third time she’s been short.
I toss my pen on my desk. I’m going to have to let her go. Three strikes and you’re out in my book. I can’t keep having this happen. I guess this also explains her hurry to leave.
About an hour later I’m heading out to my car and I find Layla leaning against one of the poles out front by the door. “Hey.”
She gives me a sleepy smile. “Hey.”
“Everything okay?”
She nods with effort. “Yeah, I think my ride forgot about me.”
I scratch the back of my head. “You want me to call you a cab? Or I can even take you home if you’d like.”
She kicks at a pebble on the ground. “Nah, it’s okay. He’ll show up sooner or later.”
I take a few steps over to my car and lean up against it. It’s freezing out here and she’s wearing shorts and a thin jacket. I can’t leave her here.
“You want to wait inside?” I offer thinking it would be kind of odd asking her to sit in my car if it’s her boyfriend picking her up.
She shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m fine.” I can see her body trembling. “You can go ahead and go home. I’m good here.”
If she thinks I’m leaving her here by herself she’s out of her mind. “I’m not leaving you here.”
Her bag falls from her shoulder. She looks so exhausted. I step over and take it from her. “Let me just take you home.”
She looks around. A cop car passes, sirens are going off in the distance and a guy walking his dog walks by. “Alright.”
I open the passenger side door for her. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“Don’t worry about it.” I say after shutting the door. You shouldn’t be out here by yourself anyway.
I toss her bag in the back seat of my BMW when she asks shyly¸ “You familiar with Brick?”
“Brick, as in the Brick that’s twenty minutes from here?” I didn’t realize she lived that far. I mean it’s not that far but far enough that public transportation must be a bitch and takes forever.
She nods. “That’s the one.”
I turn the car on and crank the heat up. “Okay.”
The ride to her house is quiet and a little awkward. We’ve worked together a lot these last few weeks but I still don’t know her and that makes sparking a conversation hard so I go for neutral ground and start talking about work.
“How are you making out with work and school? It’s not too much with your class schedule, right?”
She yawns. “Oh no, things are fine. I get most of my school work done between classes.”
I nod.
“You’re going to make a right onto Hooper Avenue up here.” She points to the traffic light a little ways down. I make the right hand turn. “Now take this down and you’re going to make a left on Manor Drive.”
I drive for about another minute.
“Make this left and it’s the first house on the right.”
I pull up to her house. The area is a little sketchy but she seems in her element.
“Thank you so much for the ride, Eli.”
“No problem.”
She grabs her things and climbs from my car pausing briefly to look around. I wait until she’s behind the fence to drive off. I’m so fucking exhausted that if I sat for just a minute until she made it into the house I would have fallen asleep. I really need to talk to Cooper about hiring a manager who could help with things while he’s out on the road. This is starting to wear on me night after night with no breaks.
Friday evening just before dinner time I arrive at Fierce. I spent the late morning and afternoon with Erin and Sophia. I hadn’t seen them in months. Erin seemed good, not her normal self but at least she hadn’t sunk into depression like she had in the past with break ups. Our dad did a real number on her when we were growing up. All he ever cared about was his work, nothing in the world mattered but that. Sophia was dressed in her princess pajamas when I arrived and she was dancing around all over the house. After hanging with them for a few hours, I promised to take Sophia out shopping for her fourth birthday that was coming up. So before I left, we agreed on a weekend that we would meet at the mall and Sophia could pick out anything she wanted from the Disney store.
Arriving at Fierce, I went to my office and just sat at my desk and kicked my feet up to catch a little power nap when my phone rang. Cooper. Wonder why he’s calling now? I haven’t heard from him in almost two weeks. To be honest I’m a little pissed about it. I know he’s busy and stuff but still a two minute phone conversation wouldn’t hurt.
“What’s up, Cooper?”
“Just calling to check in, things have been busy, as you can imagine. I’m not getting as much time as I thought I would.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” I say fighting off a yawn. Ever since I let Bri go I’ve felt off, even Layla kept asking if I was okay. I shouldn’t feel guilty for firing her but I do and it’s weighing heavy on me and keeping me awake. “Things are alright. I had to let one of the bartenders go last night though for stealing.”
I know that will feel like a punch to the chest for him but he had to know. I can’t keep stuff like this from him. I know I wouldn’t want him to do it with me.
“Who was it?”
I sigh. “Bri.”
I don’t think Cooper liked Bri very much to begin with. I’d catch him keeping a close eye on her and when I questioned him about it he’d just say, ‘I don’t know about her.’ Apparently he’s got good judgment on people, an intuition that something’s not right.
“What happened?”
I shuffle a few papers together on my desk trying to clean it up and to keep myself from nodding off. “Her drawer was coming up short, the last night almost one hundred and fifty dollars short…three strikes and you’re out.”
“Damn.”
“Exactly.”
“How’s everything else?” He pauses for a second. “Jaylinn?”
I sigh heavily. “She seems to be moving on.” I was hoping he didn’t ask about her. I promised to keep an eye out for her but when she walked in with someone yesterday I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Throw him out? Yeah, probably, but that’s not me. They aren’t together and I have no right telling Jaylinn what she should and shouldn’t do. In all honesty, she’s probably testing the waters to see how it feels to be with someone else. I can’t blame her there.
“Moving on?” Cooper hisses.
I sit back in my chair and rub my temples. I feel a headache coming on. “Look, I don’t want to tell you this but you need to know. I don’t think it’s my place but whatever.” I curse under my breath. “She came in the other night with someone. After they left I asked Layla about it. She said it was some guy from a class of hers.” I feel like such an asshole telling him this but this is what he asked for. He wanted to know and I can’t lie to him. “From what I saw they didn’t seem to be having a good time. The dude was tall as hell and they just looked fucking weird. Their body language was all wrong.” Knocking on the door stops me from continuing. “Hold on a second, someone’s at the door.”
I move the phone away from my mouth. “Come in.” In walks Jaylinn, could this timing seriously get any worse? I wonder if she heard me telling Cooper about her date. She’d probably fucking murder me. “Oh, hey, um… have a seat. I’m just finishing up my conversation.”
I sit up straight in my chair. “I can come back.”
I shake my head and point to the chair in front of my desk. I hear Cooper’s breath hitch. He heard her. “Cooper?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” He says defeated.
I try not to miss a beat wanting to shield both of their hearts if I can. No one ever wants to hurt friends if they don’t have too. “Well, besides that everything else is going fine. Oh, and everything at your house is fine, too. I’ve been stopping by every other day to get the mail and shit.”