Just Shoot Me (Cowboy Way, #1)

by Becky McGraw

  Dean could only hope she would be tied up. And hopefully the weather would get better soon, because if it didn’t happen soon the money wouldn’t mean shit to him. Jeremy would be gone. That money was going to be the difference between keeping Jeremy and losing him to Cindy. Dean felt it in his gut. That fight was coming, even though he hadn’t been served notice yet. He was going to be as prepared as he could be, which meant he needed the money from the photo shoot. Regardless of whether he had to see Tina again, work with her.

  “Daddy I want to go say goodbye to Laney and Miss Tina,” Jeremy said with a tug on Dean’s belt. Dean looked down at him. The kid looked afraid that Dean would say no, like he expected him to say no. A few days ago, Dean probably would have said no, or just brushed him off. He didn’t want to go over there, but he was going to do it. For his son. If he was going to lose him, Dean was going to make damned sure the kid remembered him fondly at least.

  He ruffled Jeremy’s hair, and his son smiled up at him. Emotion shot to his throat to form a tight knot. He cleared it, then said, “Okay, go get your raincoat on.”

  Jeremy squealed and turned to run across the living room, and Dean went to get his slicker out of the closet. They met in the foyer, then walked out into the rain. When they got to the bunkhouse, Tina was inside, but Laney was out on the porch. Dean stopped and pushed Jeremy toward the porch, hoping he would just say goodbye to the little girl, so they could get back to the house. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t have to see Tina.

  No, if he was lucky she wouldn’t be leaving. He shoved that thought out of his head and said, “Okay hurry up. We need to get back to the house and they need to go.”

  “Yes, sir.” Jeremy ran splashing across the yard to the steps. Dean just stood in the rain, hoping he would hurry. Before he had to see Tina. Before he had to say goodbye. Before he had to watch her drive off down that driveway, and watch her leave him like Cindy had done.

  Different situation, different woman, he reminded himself. But it sure felt the same.

  “Fuck,” he said under his breath, as he turned and took a couple of steps back toward the house. Jeremy could just say goodbye then come home.

  “Dean!” Tina called from the porch, and he stopped. A gust of wind blew rain into his face and he was glad for it. He tilted his hat lower over his eyes and kicked up the collar of his slicker before he turned around. His heart did a loop in his chest when he saw she had changed into those damned heels of hers again. The ones that made her legs look like three-quarters of her body length. And a navy blue business suit. He’d never seen her in business mode before. She didn’t even look like the same woman. This Tina Montgomery he realized was a million miles removed from the one he made love to in that deer stand.

  Her smile wobbled and she waved at him. His heart stuttered in his chest again. There was no way in hell he could talk to her. He waved back, then spun on his heel and stormed across the yard. No, he needed just to cut ties and be done with it. Focus on what he needed to be focusing on. Keeping his son. She would go back to Dallas and she would carry on. Probably meet some guy in a matching business suit, and have little boys that wore polo shirts instead of cowboy boots. That was the life she was suited for, not trudging through horseshit and mud in her high heels.

  Dean walked through the front door of the house, right past his daddy, who tried to grab his shoulder in the foyer to go straight to the liquor cabinet. It was just ten o’clock in the morning, but he needed a drink. He grabbed the whole fucking bottle, and a glass then headed to his room.

  “Watch, Jeremy. I don’t feel good,” he yelled down the hall before he went inside his room and shut the door.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Tina sat at the long conference table in her nine o’clock meeting with her bosses, staring out the window over the President of Texas Tomboy’s shoulder as he talked. She wanted to focus on what he was saying, it was important she was sure, but she just couldn’t.

  How could she think about anything except the note she found when she got home yesterday afternoon? Her sister was gone on the road with a cowboy. She asked her to take care of Laney, but said she didn’t think she’d be a burden. What the fuck did her sister think raising a child was, if not a burden? But then she wouldn’t know that. She had never raised Laney.

  Laney had cried herself to sleep last night, even though Tina tried to convince her niece that her mother was just taking a vacation. And since she was still on Spring Break from school, Tina had to leave her with the elderly neighbor this morning to come to work. Still crying. Totally unacceptable. She had almost called in sick, but since she got the call from her boss yesterday, specifically requesting her presence in this meeting, she had to be here.

  Or lose her job.

  Then she wouldn’t be able to support her niece, who might as well be her own daughter.

  Tina wanted to strangle her sister.

  “So, of course we’ll need you to travel if you’re offered the position,” Mr. Jamison said.

  The word travel penetrated the fog around her brain, and Tina dragged her eyes back to Mr. Jamison. “Travel?” she repeated dumbly.

  “Weren’t you listening, Miss Montgomery?” he asked impatiently. She glanced at her manager June, and received a hot look.

  Tina looked back at Mr. Jamison, but panic grabbed her by the throat and she couldn’t find her voice or words for a second. It finally broke free. “Um, yes of course, I heard, Mr. Jamison. Travel?”

  “As our European Marketing Manager, you’d be required to travel overseas frequently. Do you think that would be something you could do?”

  “European Marketing Manager? We’re not in Europe, sir,” Tina repeated, terrified now that she’d missed something vitally important while she was daydreaming. Texas Tomboy was a western wear company. That was as American as you could get. What the hell was he talking about Europe for? Tina pasted on a smile, and her voice was a little patronizing, because she thought surely he had made a mistake. “Um, I was developing the Texas Tomcat menswear line, remember Mr. Jamison?” Texas Tomboy employed a lot of people, she thought surely he had gotten her confused with someone else. “I don’t have the photos and presentation together yet. The weather delayed the shoot, but I’m working on it.” Tina sat up in her chair and stiffened her shoulders, then said confidently, “I’ll definitely be ready for our meeting next Tuesday.”

  Tina planned on going back to the ranch this weekend to do the shoot. Come hell or high water she was going to get the photos she needed to sell this line. If she was going to have to take care of Laney, that promotion was more important to her now than ever. And the check for that photo shoot would also give Dean Dixon the money to fight his ex-wife to keep his son. Before she’d left the ranch, Tina had only been able to give them the check for the location, since the shoot didn’t happen.

  Her manager covered her hand on the table, and gave it a squeeze. “Mr. Jamison, this is a huge opportunity for Miss Montgomery. I think she’s a little stunned by the offer. Let us talk, and she’ll get back to you tomorrow. Would that be okay?”

  Mr. Jamison grunted, then shoved his chair back. Her manager grabbed her arm and all but pulled her up to her feet. “We’ll just leave you to your work now, sir. Thank you for your offer. I should have an answer for you later this afternoon.”

  Tina was pushed from behind to the door of the office. June opened it then shoved her into the hallway. Leaning back she shut it behind her. “What the hell is wrong with you Tina?” she hissed.

  “I must be living in an alternate universe, June. What just happened in there?”

  “You got offered the biggest job you’re ever likely to be offered, and you were off in lala land somewhere. What were you daydreaming about?”

  “What job offer? I have to do the photo—“

  “That promotion is off the table now. Jamison shelved even thinking about the men’s line until next year, so the company can do an expansion into Europe. I recommended you for this job, be
cause I can’t travel like that with my kids. Now, I’m not so sure I made a good call. You just made me and yourself look like an idiot!”

  Good God almighty. Now that Lori had taken off, Tina couldn’t take the job either. She had a kid now too. There was no way she could leave Laney here to go gallivanting all over the world. “What happens if I turn it down?”

  Nobody here knew her personal problems. These were her co-workers, not her friends or her family. Tina kept her personal like to herself.

  “If you’d been listening in that meeting, you would know they’re downsizing the staff to help fund the expansion. I’m afraid your job will be one of the ones to be cut. That’s why I recommended you.”

  “But the calendar sales—“

  “Made us a record year last year. It was a great idea, and you got full credit for it. But that was last year. And this year, the board has decided to ride the momentum from the increased sales to expand their market, instead of the developing a product line. I’m sorry.”

  It looked like even though she’d been at Texas Tomboy six years now, she had just worked herself out of a job by recommending that calendar to them. “I see,” Tina said fighting valiantly to control the tremble in her voice. “I’ll have to think about it.”

  “Think fast, Tina. I told Mr. Jamison he’d have an answer tomorrow. He wants this settled so they can start talking to distributors.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ll let you know by five tomorrow.”

  June was right, Tina thought as she turned and headed for the ladies room to have the meltdown that was very near to the surface. Tina was about as stunned as a woman could get. She had a little over twenty-four hours to make the decision of her life. And she had not a soul to help her make it. Not a soul to talk to about it.

  ***

  Loud pounding at his bedroom door sounded like it was coming from the inside of his skull. Dean groaned and squeezed the sides of his head. He rolled over and bright sunlight pierced his brain, so he slammed his eyes shut and rolled back over. A noisy thud on the floor beside the bed made it worse. He peered over the edge at the empty whiskey bottle and groaned. A wave of nausea rushed through him, and Dean held his breath, slapped a hand over his mouth, and hugged his stomach. Collapsing back onto the bed he groaned again. Dumb, dumb dumb, he castigated himself. The knocking started again and he flinched, barely suppressing a whimper.

  “Daddy, Miss Tina is on the phone for you,” Jeremy shouted from the hall. “And Maw Maw says to tell you to come to lunch!”

  Lunch? He glanced over the side of bed at the bottle again and wondered what time it was. Hell what day it was. Friday maybe? He thought it was around midnight when he finally polished it off last night, but couldn’t remember. Tina had left yesterday hadn’t she? Dean’s stomach lurched, and he groaned. He knew one thing, the last thing he wanted right now was food. Or to talk to Tina Montgomery. The pounding started again, and the knob rattled.

  Dean sat straight up in the bed. “Alright, Jeremy!” he shouted and swallowed hard, waiting for the room to quit moving. “Tell your grandma I’m not hungry. And tell Tina I will call her back!” Sometime in the next lifetime, he added mentally as he laid back. That might be sooner than later, he thought, because he sure as hell felt like he was about to meet his maker.

  “Yes, sir…” he barely heard the words, but what he didn’t miss was the dejection and concern in Jeremy’s tone. Dean sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. He needed to get out of this fucking bed. The sun was shining, and that meant it was a workday. He had work to do, and he also had things to work out. But he just couldn’t find the energy to move, or the motivation. Maybe if he just curled up and slept a little more he’d feel better when he woke up. Odds weren’t good for that, but it was something to hope for he thought as he drifted off again.

  A little while later, or he thought it was a while. It could have been days for all he knew. Dean was just that fuzzy. Scraping at the doorknob woke him up. He sat up in the bed and threw his legs over the side, then hurriedly shoved his legs into his jeans and zipped them up. The door flew inward and Cord stood there looking mad as hell with a butter knife in his hand.

  “Get your lazy ass up, Hope needs to talk to you,” he grated, taking a step inside.

  “I don’t feel good. Am I not allowed to be sick once in a while?” Dean shot back, and flinched when his voice echoed in his head.

  “You’ve got a fucking hangover, Dean. Because you’re too damned pathetic to face your problems, you tried to drown the fact that you don’t have the balls to do something about your situation. To forgive and forget. Move on.”

  Every word out of his brother’s mouth was like a nail driven into his skull. Dean fought the nausea that rolled in his stomach and clenched his fists. He took a step toward Cord, then clamped a hand over his mouth and shoved his brother into the door jamb to get out of the bedroom. He staggered down the hallway to the bathroom, and went inside and locked it. After he worshiped the porcelain goddess for a few minutes, he felt a lot better, but weak as a newborn colt. He staggered to the sink and splashed his face with water then brushed his teeth. When he raised up to look in the mirror he wanted to scream, because he didn’t recognize the old man who stared back at him. Old and used up. He had lines at the corners of his eyes, and deeper ones around his mouth. His skin looked pale and his cheeks sunken. Dean felt just as old and used up as he looked. Cord was right, he was absolutely pathetic.

  What the hell had happened to him? Cindy had happened. Life had happened. And whiskey had happened last night, which he was sure made things worse. Tina Montgomery must be blind to think he was a fucking model. Maybe she’d taken pity on him because of his financial situation. That’s all it could be. Well, he wasn’t going to see her again, and he wasn’t doing that damned photo shoot. He would just have to figure something else out.

  Dean sucked in a shuddering breath, then opened the bathroom door and walked down the hall. He stopped in his bedroom to put on a shirt, because he knew his mama wouldn’t be happy if he showed up in the kitchen without one. When he walked into the kitchen his family was all gathered at the table. A sandwich sat in front of his chair.

  “Why does everyone look so morose?” Dean asked as he sat down at the table. “Somebody die?” He picked up his sandwich, and a glob of mayonnaise leaked out the side. His stomach rolled, so he put it back on the plate.

  “A courier came by here earlier, son,” Silas Dixon said, and his eyes were suspiciously bright. His hand shook as he pulled a sheaf of papers from his lap. He sat them on the table and slid them across the table to Dean.

  Dean’s stomach rolled again and he sucked in a breath, trying to calm the storm inside of him. He didn’t want to look at the papers, didn’t have to really. Just a glance at the top of the page told him all he needed to know. “Petition for Emergency Custody of a Minor?”

  “She’s going for sole custody son. And there’s a restraining order in there too. She said you threatened her life, and she’s afraid for her son’s safety.”

  “Bullshit!” Dean screamed, as his chair scraped back. He stood and slammed his hands down on the table. “She was trespassing on my property! I didn’t touch her! And if Cindy was so goddamned concerned about her son, Bobby Jones’ son, why the hell did she leave him here for me to have to raise for three years?!?”

  Dean heard a whimper and looked at the doorway to the kitchen. Jeremy stood there and his face was white. He looked crestfallen. Devastated. His mother pushed her chair back and she smothered a wail with her hand, as she ran from the room. Dean’s father went after her.

  “Oh, God…” he groaned and walked toward Jeremy. Jeremy backed out of the doorway and spun. He ran for the front door, and Dean chased him. “Jeremy, wait!” Jeremy didn’t stop though, his feet hit the ground and he ran toward the barn.

  Cord ran out onto the porch behind Dean and grabbed his shoulder to jerk him back. “Let me go talk to him, you go talk to Hope,” he said sternly. Dean no
dded and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’ll bring him back to the house when he calms down.”

  Dean nodded again then staggered back to the kitchen. The emotion inside his chest built like a pressure cooker. It was so tight he could barely breathe. Spots danced in front of his eyes, his ears rang and Dean thought he might pass out. He sank to his knees, and dropped his chin to his chest. His heart hurt so damned bad he thought he might be having a heart attack. He heard a chair scrape back, then a hand rubbed circles in the center of his back.

  “Dean are you okay, honey? Let me help you up,” Hope said. She slid her arm through his, and pulled upward with a grunt. Something inside Dean snapped and the lid came off of the pressure cooker. His chest loosened, he sucked in a deep breath, so deep he thought his lungs might explode. The emotions bubbling inside pushed up into his throat, then exploded out of him in a roar. When he was done, Dean felt like a dishrag. He sat back on his butt and hugged his knees to him and rocked. Hope kept rubbing his back, but leaned closer.

  “I talked to my father and he recommended an attorney in Dallas. He can help you. I paid him a retainer, and you have an appointment on Monday. You just have to go talk to him. Don’t worry about the money, we’ll deal with it.”

  “I can’t take your money,” he pushed past his raw vocal chords. He put his hand to his forehead. “I’ll use the money from the modeling shoot. Has Tina called you yet?”

  Hope’s hand stopped moving and her body tensed. “Just go talk to the attorney, Dean. He’s good. He won’t let her win.”

  Something was wrong. Hope wasn’t telling him something. Fear shot through him that something had happened to Tina, or her niece. He met her eyes, because Dean knew his sister-in-law couldn’t look him in the eye and lie to him. “Did you talk to Tina?”