Backwoods

by Jill Sorenson

  “I did?”

  “Even when you were little, you couldn’t be bothered with braids or bows.” She’d kept Brooke’s hair trimmed in a pageboy style to make it easier. Brooke hadn’t been interested in growing long hair until she got older.

  Brooke fell silent for a moment, seeming drowsy. “Did my mom tell you she hooked up with Leo’s dad?”

  Ella’s eyes widened with delight. “No!”

  “I saw them kissing in the hot springs.”

  “Do tell,” Ella cooed.

  Abby set the comb aside. “It didn’t mean anything.”

  “Why not?” Brooke asked.

  Abby hesitated. It seemed foolish to speculate on Nathan’s intentions toward her. She didn’t want to give Brooke and Ella the wrong idea. More importantly, she was afraid to give herself the wrong idea. She was so caught up in him already. If he didn’t return the sentiment, she’d be crushed.

  “You never looked half as flustered over Jeremy,” Ella said.

  “That’s because they were just fuck-buddies,” Brooke said.

  Ella nodded at this frank assessment, agreeing.

  Abby sometimes wished she hadn’t encouraged Brooke to be so outspoken. “Have you talked to your father?”

  “Yes. He’s driving up from L.A. with Lydia.”

  Abby rubbed her temples, where a tension headache was forming. Ray would probably demand a sit-down meeting with law enforcement and try to throw his weight around. He might be rude to Nathan and Leo. This was the reason she didn’t get emotionally involved with men: she didn’t need the extra stress.

  When Brooke climbed under the blankets, Abby stretched out beside her, stroking her damp hair until she drifted off. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her daughter. It felt good to be here for her, but also bittersweet. Brooke would leave for college again soon. She’d grown more independent every year.

  Abby rose from the bed to finish her conversation with Ella. Like Brooke, Abby craved the company and closeness of loved ones. Talking with Ella always comforted her. They tiptoed outside to sit in lounge chairs on the outdoor balcony.

  “Did you call Mom?” Abby asked.

  “No.”

  “Good.” Their mother tended to worry too much, like Abby. If she knew what happened she’d want to drive up here and join them. There was no need to upset her at this point. Abby would tell her when they got home.

  “So what’s the deal with Nathan?”

  Abby groaned, clapping a hand over her forehead. “I don’t know.”

  “Come on. I told you about Paul.”

  Ella had slept with Paul the first night they met, when they were stranded on San Miguel Island. Abby had high-fived her for the bold behavior. She knew Ella wouldn’t judge, so she confessed about their interrupted encounter.

  Ella sputtered with laughter as she pictured the scene. “You can’t leave things like this! Give the poor guy a happy ending.”

  Abby’s pulse accelerated at the thought. She’d love to be with him in a mutually satisfying way, but she was concerned about the long-term implications. Sex would mark a beginning, rather than a resolution.

  “He’s hot,” Ella said.

  “Hot isn’t everything.”

  “It’s a good start.”

  “He’s not a...fuck-buddy,” she said, repeating Brooke’s crude term.

  Her sister didn’t comment. Ella had already shared her opinion of Jeremy. She’d accused Abby of using him to avoid commitment.

  “Ray’s cheating again,” Abby said.

  “How do you know?”

  “Leo told us. Lydia wants a divorce.”

  Ella’s mouth twisted with displeasure. “Why are you presenting this as if it’s evidence that all relationships are doomed?”

  Abby glanced away, reluctant to acknowledge her fears. Ella was newly engaged and madly in love. Of course she believed in happy-ever-afters. Their mother had found a great guy the second time around. Why couldn’t Abby?

  “You deserve more than a fuck-buddy,” Ella said.

  “I’m afraid to get involved with him.”

  “Why? Is he a player?”

  “No. He gave up drinking and sleeping around a few years ago.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  Abby had to spell it out for her. “He’ll break my heart.”

  “Do you think he’s worried about you breaking his heart?”

  She hadn’t considered that before, but it sounded reasonable. “Maybe.”

  “You’re equally likely to get hurt, the way I see it. He has as much to lose as you do. You’ve both been burned before. You both have to take a risk. The real question you should ask is if he’s worth your time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Is he good enough for you?”

  Abby smiled at the sisterly question. “Yes.”

  “Are you afraid to date him because he’s untrustworthy, or because he’s exciting?”

  Abby tapped a fingertip to her lips, mulling it over. Nathan was well worth pursuing. The thought of letting him go made her chest hurt. He was exciting and trustworthy. But was she capable of trusting?

  “If you can walk away without getting upset, why bother?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Then don’t.”

  Abby had an important decision to make. Later, after she’d gotten some sleep. “I think Brooke has a crush on Leo.”

  “I don’t blame her.”

  “What do you know about them?”

  “She told me he kissed her over winter break. She’d just broken up with her boyfriend. Leo was comforting her.”

  “That’s as far as it went?”

  “He wouldn’t take it any farther.”

  Abby ran the comb through her tangled hair, contemplative. Brooke was free to choose her own path. Make her own mistakes. Abby couldn’t protect her from every danger. She could only hope that Brooke would be able to move on from the kidnapping, and not choose the wrong boys to fill the hole her father had left.

  “Get some rest,” Ella said. “I’ll handle everything.”

  “You’re a good sister,” Abby said, her throat tight.

  “I know.”

  “I’m happy for you and Paul.”

  Her eyes watered with tears.

  “Don’t,” Abby said, looking away.

  “I’ll cry if I want to.”

  She laughed at Ella’s petulant tone, her heart aching. They exchanged a long hug, and Abby went back inside, climbing into bed next to Brooke. Ella’s questions fizzed like soda bubbles in her tired mind.

  Was Nathan worth it?

  When she looked back on her life with Ray, she had few regrets. They’d made a beautiful child together. But her overwhelming feeling about their relationship was sorrow. She couldn’t bear the thought of going through another divorce.

  She knew she’d made some bad choices. She’d married too young. She’d been too dependent on Ray. She didn’t blame herself for his cheating—that was totally on him—but she had to take responsibility for her reaction. It wasn’t healthy to be so guarded with men. Ray’s betrayal hadn’t broken her. She was twice as strong at thirty-six as she’d been at eighteen. She had a career and an identity. Her anxiety was manageable, for the most part. Nathan hadn’t seemed horrified by her recent breakdown, and she’d recovered quickly.

  She didn’t have to live in fear.

  But it was hard for her to climb these mental boulders, let alone jump off. What concerned her most was the intensity of their connection. She’d never been this drawn to a man. Maybe she was reaching her sexual peak, because she hadn’t been half as responsive or uninhibited with Ray. Her powerful attraction to Nathan promised more than fleeting pleasure. She an
ticipated ups and downs. Fireworks and emotional tumult. She wasn’t sure she could handle the fallout. She didn’t trust him not to hurt her.

  How did she feel about letting him go?

  That was the kicker, because she couldn’t imagine walking away. Not now, not like this. He might not be the best match for her. They might crash and burn. She’d never know if she didn’t take the plunge.

  Failing wasn’t the true measure of weakness. Giving up without trying was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  NATHAN WOKE TO the sound of a razor being tapped against the edge of the sink.

  He rolled over in bed and squinted through the open bathroom door. Leo was shaving. Nathan adjusted the sheets around his waist to make sure he was covered. Then he settled back to watch his son perform a task that was both foreign and familiar.

  Leo used basic soap and a safety razor, like him. He wasn’t experienced enough to be good at it. He did a few quick swipes over his chin that made Nathan wince. It was clear that no one had taught him how to shave properly. His movements were an unconscious imitation of Nathan.

  “You have to go with the grain,” Nathan said. “Especially on your neck.”

  Leo tapped the razor again and rinsed it under the faucet. He turned his head to one side. “It grows in all different directions.”

  “Try shaving away from your Adam’s apple.”

  Leo took this advice, his brow furrowed in concentration. The end result was passable. Nathan would have gone slower and been more careful, but that was him. Leo didn’t appear to give a damn about precision. His shaggy, uneven haircut was another expression of his individuality.

  Someone must have delivered their personal belongings. Leo was wearing ragged cargo shorts with a studded leather belt. His backpack was open on top of the other bed. “Who brought your stuff?”

  “Mom,” he said, leaning over the sink to splash his face. “She’s here with Ray.”

  Nathan noticed his own overnight bag sitting on a table by the door, along with his cell phone. He hadn’t heard anyone knock. After taking a shower this morning, he’d fallen into bed and passed out from exhaustion.

  “We’re having dinner in a few minutes, if you want to come.”

  Nathan would prefer to avoid Ray’s company. His first instinct was to decline, but Leo hadn’t invited him to anything in years. “Who’s going to be there?”

  “Brooke and her family. Abby.”

  Well, that sold it. “Okay.”

  Leo left the bathroom, limping a little. He grabbed Nathan’s bag from the table and launched it toward him.

  “How’s your leg?”

  “Pretty good,” Leo said. “The painkillers are dope.”

  Nathan ignored this provocation in favor of keeping the peace. He pulled on a pair of jeans and padded to the bathroom, barefoot. Although he still looked tired, he felt much better. His shoulder was a bit stiff from overuse. He combed his hair and brushed his teeth, not bothering to shave. It was hardly a formal occasion.

  “Any word from the cops?” he asked when he came out.

  “They found a body,” Leo said.

  “Was it the kid?”

  “I don’t know. We’re supposed to go to the station tomorrow to identify him.”

  Nathan pictured the boy’s scared face, now pale and lifeless. “Gunshot wound?”

  “An arrow to the neck.”

  “Shit,” he said under his breath.

  “It’s fucked-up,” Leo agreed. “They said they’re investigating connections to local unsolved cases and missing person reports. The FBI got called in. I think they’re looking for the bodies of the other victims.”

  Nathan was glad Leo and Brooke weren’t among them. He didn’t know how to express his relief without getting emotional, so he said nothing. And it felt okay. It wasn’t necessary to treat every moment like a bonding opportunity. His quest to reconnect with Leo didn’t have to be all-consuming. They’d get there. It was a marathon, not a race.

  Nathan put on his shoes and a T-shirt. He brought his wallet, but left his cell phone. Before they walked out the door, he handed Leo his crutches.

  “Thanks,” Leo said, securing them under his arms. He was wearing a Godzilla T-shirt with Japanese lettering. As they crossed the courtyard together, Nathan acknowledged that there were some things he’d never understand about Leo.

  They had dinner reservations at the hotel café. Ray and Lydia were already seated at a table on the outdoor patio. When she rose to greet him, Nathan noticed that her eyes were a bit puffy, and there were tension lines around her mouth. But she looked gorgeous, as always. Her dark hair was trapped in a sleek ponytail. She wore a gauzy blouse and fitted skirt. Judging by her designer high heels, her ankle was fine.

  Nathan nodded hello to Ray, who didn’t bother to get up. He hadn’t aged as well as Lydia, but he was fit and well-dressed. They never shook hands anymore. Years ago, Nathan had surrendered to the urge to crush Ray’s elegant surgeon fingers in his stronger grip.

  Lydia kissed Leo’s cheek and hugged him close. When she released him to study his face, there were tears in her eyes. He said something in Portuguese that made her laugh. She’d always had a better relationship with Leo than Nathan, but he didn’t feel any envy or resentment toward her. It just wasn’t in him to begrudge their easy affection. She was the only person in the world who loved Leo as much as he did.

  Abby and her family joined them a moment later. Someone must have brought her belongings from the cabin as well, because she was wearing a soft purple dress with short sleeves. Her legs were long and bare, her lips shimmery. Her hair was caught up in a loose knot at the nape of her neck. She looked pretty and put-together.

  His heart thumped hard, like a fist knocking on his sternum. She was lovely, with or without makeup. He couldn’t decide if he preferred her all dolled up or au naturel. An image of her wet, naked body popped into his mind. He saw her with her thighs spread and her lips around his thumb, sucking gently as she stroked his cock. The memory had inspired him to use his own hand in the shower this morning.

  Damn. She was hot.

  He shelved his inappropriate thoughts and stammered a hello. Ella smiled at him in a way that suggested she knew exactly what he was thinking, because Abby had told her all about their erotic interlude.

  To his credit, Ray stood to greet his ex-wife and hug his daughter. Lydia kissed Abby’s cheek and wrapped her slender arms around Brooke. “I’m so glad you’re not hurt,” she said, stroking Brooke’s hair.

  The waitstaff had pushed several tables together to accommodate their large party. Ray had already commandeered the space at the end. Brooke pulled out a chair at the opposite end. Abby, Ella and Paul sat down on one side of the table. Nathan took a seat across from them, between Leo and Lydia.

  The meal itself was pleasant. No one asked Abby or Brooke about the abduction. They didn’t discuss the macabre task of identifying a dead body tomorrow. Leo told them about the ATV getting stuck in the pouring rain, but he made it sound like a funny anecdote instead of a struggle for survival. Brooke held his hand under the table.

  Ella shared the story of the previous year’s camping trip. She’d been stranded overnight on a deserted island with Paul.

  “How did the two of you stay warm again?” Brooke asked, teasing her.

  “I built a fire,” Paul said, which made everyone laugh.

  Nathan liked Abby’s sister and her fiancé. Paul hit it off with Leo immediately. They’d surfed some of the same areas in Northern California.

  Nathan couldn’t believe he was sitting at a table with Ray Dwyer—and actually enjoying himself. Ray didn’t appear as comfortable as Nathan in the setting. It was clear that Ella thought he was a jerk. She hardly glanced at him. When he complained to the waiter about the wine selection in a pretentious
manner, Paul did a double take. Ray checked his cell phone repeatedly, commenting that the local police were inept.

  “Put that away,” Lydia murmured.

  Ray stashed his phone and removed an envelope from his pocket. “I have an early birthday present for you,” he said to Brooke.

  She accepted the envelope with interest. “What is it?”

  “Look inside.”

  Tearing it open, she shook out what appeared to be two plane tickets. “Where are we going?”

  Ray moistened his lips, seeming nervous. “The tickets are for anywhere in the world in the next year. I thought you could take a friend to Europe, or your mother to the Bahamas. You can go wherever you want and stay as long as you like. You can have a nice vacation to make up for this...debacle.”

  She stared at the tickets instead of looking at him. Nathan could read the disappointment on her face. Ray had canceled this trip at the last minute, perhaps due to a tiff with Lydia. In his absence, Brooke had been kidnapped and traumatized. Instead of offering to spend more time with her, he’d bought an expensive gift.

  “Can I take Leo with me?” Brooke asked.

  A hush fell over the table. Ray recoiled at the suggestion, as if Leo wasn’t worthy of her company. Over the course of the meal, Ray had been distracted and distant, ignoring the fact that Leo had risked his life for her.

  “I don’t think he’ll make it past customs,” Ray said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Leo asked.

  Lydia shot Ray a quelling look. “Not now, Ray.”

  “I spoke with the sheriff’s office this afternoon,” Ray said. “The deputies who collected the camping equipment seized a bag of premium-quality marijuana.”

  “Well, damn,” Leo said. “Are they planning to smoke it, or give it back?”

  Paul coughed into his fist, covering a laugh.

  “Don’t be a smart-ass,” Ray said.

  Even though Nathan had made similar comments to Leo in the past, he wouldn’t stand for this kind of criticism right now. Not from Ray. Not twenty-four hours after Leo had been shot trying to save Brooke from a psychopath. Not while Nathan was sitting right there between them. “Lay off him.”