London sauntered into the room hesitantly, plastic shopping bags hanging from her hands. The silence was deafening as I waited for her to call bullshit on our ruse, but she set them down and pursed her lips. “Easy. Tile it and get one or two super big area rugs. Problem solved.”
I tried not to make it too obvious that my entire body went slack with relief. When I was sure London had no clue that her mother and I had just lied through our teeth, I discreetly winked at Ella and mouthed Thank you.
My pulse slowed to a normal pace and I cleared my throat to gather their attention. Ella was right, there was nothing worse than holding something in that you wanted to share with the world. “Monroe ladies, now that you’re both here. I have some fabulous news to share.” I stood from the chair and puffed out my chest. “I got the screening results a few hours ago.”
Both Ella and London turned to stare at me.
I took in their beautiful similarities as I beamed back at them. London was like her mother in so many ways, both inside and out. There was no doubt they would have an identical reaction to what I was about to tell them. Joy. Relief. Gratitude. I’d be honored to elicit those feelings.
“Tell us already, would you!” London finally begged with tears in her eyes.
I couldn’t bear to see her cry so I rushed to her side and draped my arm around her shoulder. “I’m a match, babe. I have an appointment with Bryce tomorrow to discuss the game plan, but Ella . . .” I turned to face her. “The wait is over. What’s mine is yours, as soon as I can give it you.”
“Oh my God!” London folded into my arms and wrapped her own around my back. “This is the best news ever. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I don’t know what we’d do without you!”
I stroked her hair as she cried into my shirt, smiling at Ella who was also crying as she watched on with a satisfied grin. There was more to her appreciation than learning I was a match. It was obvious that seeing me and London together like this made her happy. She might’ve liked Bryce, but she knew as well as I did that London should be with me.
I felt so fucking good my nerves were actually tingling. I’d saved the day and had Ella’s approval. This entire moment was nothing short of perfect. Well, it was, while it lasted.
Sam
“I TAKE IT you told them.” Bryce’s unexpected voice was like a needle scratching a record. The happy, harmonious melody surrounding us was cut short by his untimely entrance.
“Hey! You’re here!” London retreated from my arms and ran to him. “Did you hear? Sam’s a match! How soon can we do this?”
He smiled at London’s enthusiasm and pulled her close, eyeing me the whole time like a lion protecting his cub. I didn’t want to break the eye contact because he didn’t intimidate me in the fucking least, but I had to glance over my shoulder to see if Ella was catching this.
Unfortunately, she was wiping her eyes with a tissue and missed the whole thing. I snapped my glare back on Bryce and swallowed my pride. No need to get into a pissing match now. Get things ironed out for Ella’s sake first, worry about this tool later.
“I made an appointment with your receptionist earlier. We meet at three to discuss the ins and outs of the procedure.”
“Oh! Should I be there?” London asked, looking up at Bryce and then at me.
“No, beautiful, that won’t be necessary.” He kissed the top of her head and narrowed his eyes as he addressed me. “In fact, I think we should reschedule.”
“Why?” I barked. What was the hold up? We had our answers. It was time to get the ball rolling.
“Because we still haven’t heard from Memphis, and if he’s a match he’ll be a better candidate.”
“But I’m standing right here and he’s not. Don’t you think it’s a waste of time to wait for him any longer?”
“Bryce, he’s right,” London chimed in. “Maybe we shouldn’t wait if we don’t have to.” She bypassed both of us and walked to her mother’s bedside. “What do you think, Mom? What do you want to do?”
Bryce stepped further into the room and shut the door. Before Ella could answer, he was adjusting the lapels of his white coat and clearing his throat. I was sure he was used to commanding people’s attention because of the get-up and his pretty boy good looks, but that shit didn’t matter to me. I only kept my mouth shut for the sake of the girls. I wanted to hear what he had to say as much as they did. This whole thing seemed like a ploy for London’s affection, but I wasn’t the one who went to medical school, so what did I know?
“There is a greater risk of rejection with an organ from a non-related donor. If Memphis is a match, the chances of Ella accepting the kidney and being completely out of the woods will increase exponentially.”
Fine and dandy, but we were skirting the reality of the situation. “But we don’t even know if he’s a match. I mean, the guy hasn’t answered any of London’s emails or phone calls. She doesn’t need that selfish prick’s kidney. She has mine.”
“Sam!” Ella gasped.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Mom, he’s just being realistic,” London interrupted. “You know better than I do that Memphis isn’t the most reliable person. Who knows if he’d even agree to do it.”
Oh, I knew. He wouldn’t. He had his own shit going on right now. He was in no position to give up anything to anyone.
Ella closed her eyes and swallowed hard. I had to imagine it hurt to not have the support and concern of your own child. She didn’t deserve this. Ella was an amazing mother and Memphis was a thoughtless, messed up dick. If it were me in need of a transplant, I wouldn’t want his shitty kidney, even if he was the perfect match.
“Bryce, how long is too long to wait?” Ella broke the tension with a sensible question.
He walked closer, the heels of his Gucci or Armani or whichever-designer shoes clomping against the tile. “I know you’re tired of being here, but it’s the best place for you right now. I can assure you there is no need to panic and rush into anything just yet. If you want my professional opinion, I think we should wait a little while longer to hear from Memphis and then take it from there.”
I didn’t know if it was an outside-looking-in kind of thing, but it was as if Bryce was a hypnotist dangling a pocket watch in front of their eyes. Both London and Ella stared on with matching engrossed expressions, eating up everything he fed them. I guess society taught us to trust doctors, but my gut had taught me not to trust anyone—especially when jealousy was involved.
I approached Bryce. “Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” Ella and London spoke amongst themselves, lost in contemplation.
“Of course.”
He turned toward the door and I called behind me to the girls. “Excuse us for a second.”
I followed Bryce outside but directed us far enough away from Ella’s room that they wouldn’t overhear anything.
Bryce let out an annoyed huff as he came closer, digging his hands into his pockets.
“Why do you have such a hard-on for finding out whether Memphis is a match? You have me! I’m ready, willing, and able. Is there a fucking problem with that?”
Bryce’s nostrils flared but he remained composed as he answered me. “I already explained this to you inside. Why must I repeat myself?”
“Your professional opinion doesn’t apply in this situation, doc. You don’t know Memphis. I do. He’s selfish and flaky and in no position to help anyone. I can bet my other kidney he won’t pull through, and waiting for something to happen when I’m fucking positive it won’t is basically throwing precious time out the window.”
“She’s not dying anytime soon.” His answer was flippant and I didn’t like it.
I lunged forward and pressed a finger into his pompous chest. “But she is dying and I can stop that from happening, today!”
“Don’t fucking touch me.” His voice was a mere whisper as he looked around to make sure we had no witnesses. He flung my hand out of the way and bared his teeth like a rabid do
g. “You think you know what’s best for her but you don’t. You think you can come back and sweep in and save the day. I’m the goddamn doctor here. I call the shots.”
“Huh.” I laughed. “I think you’re confusing things, pal. You’re Ella’s doctor, not London’s. Your main priority is what’s best for her. I got London covered.”
“The fuck you do,” he snarled.
I laughed again, my hands in the air, but I didn’t back down. He’d met his match. Even before the carnival, before I told London how I felt, I knew he sensed it. I knew he knew. I saw it in the way he watched me with her. The way his jaw tensed when I walked into a room, how his eyes narrowed whenever I was close to her. Maybe it was better that it was out in the open. This way there was no question what I expected at the end of this. Maybe it was best if I called him out and showed him it didn’t take a doctor to know shit.
Without thinking, I let the pain speak for me. The agony of missing her while I was gone, of not being with her all these years, of wanting her so fucking badly to be mine. “I knew this was about her! You couldn’t give a flying fuck about the rejection rate—that’s all a load of bullshit. You don’t want what’s best for Ella. You just don’t want this kidney coming from me because you know it’ll bring me and London closer and you’re scared—you’re fucking petrified she’ll choose me over you.”
“Choose you?” He laughed. “I wasn’t aware there was even a choice to make. That alone should tell you London’s not deciding between us because she’s actually with me. She was with me while you were gone, she’s been with me since you’ve been back, and she was with me all last night.”
My blood boiled at the thought of them together, of his hands on her, taking what was mine. All the more now that I knew his deal. He wasn’t an all right guy like I thought. He was an asshole and I wanted to wipe that satisfied smirk right off his smug face. But I knew if I attacked him here, on his turf, I’d be pinned as the bad guy.
“Well, then.” I straightened my gait and slid my hands into my pockets in an effort to control my fists from flying. “Let it be known. I’m not fucking going anywhere, Doc. London knows how I feel about her—that I love her. Right now she needs to focus on Ella—as you should—but soon she’ll realize what you’re really about and the choice will be crystal clear. She will choose me, because she loves me, too. End of story.”
He took a step forward and I braced myself for it. But Bryce wasn’t fighting with his fists. No, he sucker-punched me with his words. “That’s where you’re wrong, Goodwin, because our story has just begun. I asked her to move in with me this morning and she accepted. So, you’re right, the choice is crystal clear. She chose me.”
No fucking way. He had to be lying. This couldn’t be true. Not three days ago I asked her to move in with me and she shot me down faster than I could blink. Maybe I did have my wires crossed. Maybe I was delusional for thinking she loved me back. Maybe I was too late.
I wanted to march back into that hospital room and demand answers from her, but how could I do that? How could I cause a scene when this battle between Bryce and me wasn’t even a blip on London’s radar. She had bigger, more pressing things to deal with and I’d be damned if I made this harder on her.
Instead, I tucked my tail between my legs and decided to do the best thing for everyone involved. I’d get the fuck out of here—but not before telling Bryce how things would go down from here on out. “This isn’t over. The only reason I’m not putting up a fight is because I love that woman in there. I love her so fucking much I can put aside my own feelings, my pride, my jealousy, my goddamn sanity in order to not make this harder on her. But it’s not over and I will find out the truth. About this moving in shit, about the rejection rate nonsense, and about you, you prick!”
I didn’t bother to wait for a reaction, and I didn’t dare look back. Something wasn’t right and for some reason London was blind to all of it. I’d been a patient man my whole life. Years and years of keeping my feelings to myself trained me for that. It was also time to let this shit go for once and for all, but I wasn’t giving up without a fighting chance.
I SAT DOWN next to Mom on her bed and hugged her in silence for a good while.
The last half hour had been so full of excitement, between hearing Sam was a match and then having that hope ripped away with Bryce’s concerns about rejection. She had to be beyond pissed at Memphis—I knew I sure was. Add in the undeniable tension between Bryce and Sam and you had all the makings of a real life soap opera right before our eyes.
None of this was good. It had to be taking a toll on her and she didn’t need any added stress. What she needed was the kidney transplant! She needed to get the hell out of here and go on with her life.
Sensing my frustration, Mom unwrapped her arms from around my back and gripped my shoulders. “Baby, are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” I was taken aback by her question. “You shouldn’t be worried about me. How about, are you okay?”
She blinked slowly and looked on at me tenderly. “I’m no worse off than I was this morning, and once all of this is ironed out I’ll get the surgery and everything will be okay. I know it in my heart. But I’m worried for you. You look . . . stressed. What’s going on?”
“Is that another way of telling me I look like shit?” I laughed to conceal my surprise. She was spot on. I was stressed. And tired, and confused. I’d been working so many hours and dividing the little time I had left between the hospital and Bryce . . . and let’s not forget Sam. But how selfish would I be to unleash my problems on her in this state?
“Talk to me, London.”
I let out a breathy huff, checking the door for the guys. It had only been a few minutes but what did they need to talk about without us anyway? “Seems they’ve been out there for a while, no?” I rose from the bed to seek them out, but mostly to avoid having to tell my mother what was really on my mind.
“Leave them be for a few minutes.” She grabbed my wrist with a forceful pull, stopping me before I could go too far. I abandoned the will to escape and sat back down. Even laid up in a hospital bed, Mom was the boss.
A pair of concerned eyes penetrated mine as if I were a child again. She smiled, softening her features and proving, once again, that there wasn’t much I could hide from her, no matter how hard I tried. “I sense something’s going on and it’s not like you to keep it from me. I know Sam’s your best friend, and you have the girls, and now you’re with Bryce, but you’ve always been open and honest with me. I take pride in that. I don’t want you backing away because you think I’m too fragile to deal with whatever it is that’s making my little girl so pensive. You of all people should know how much I hate to be looked at like I can break at any moment. So please, stop trying to protect me and remember that I’m the mother here. It’s my job to protect and help you. Let me do my job, and I think you should start by telling me what’s going on with Sam.”
Oh, what’s the use in fighting it? She’s right and she’ll pull it out of me even if it’s the last thing she does.
Rather than give her more aggravation and pretend she had no idea what she was talking about, I emptied my lungs of the weighty breath and released it unto the universe. “Sam’s in love with me.”
The revelation that rocked me only a few days ago didn’t come as much of a shock to my mother. “Honey, he has been for as long as I can remember.”
My eyes went wide in disbelief. “And you don’t think that was something you should’ve told me?”
“When have I ever meddled?” The arch of her brow told me even she knew she was full of shit.
“Mom. Seriously. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Because it wasn’t my place.”
“That never stopped you before!” I threw my hands in the air and paced the length of her bed.
“Come on, are you telling me you really didn’t know?”
And that was the million-dollar question. Because, yeah, this whole thing kind
of blindsided me. Truth be told, I always sort of thought he harbored feelings toward me. “What was I supposed to do? I was married to Hunter. I thought it was a phase.”
“A fifteen year phase?”
I scowled at her, hating that she wasn’t letting up. “I never acted on it because I didn’t feel the same. When we were kids and back in high school, it was definitely a phase and it fizzled out before anything could happen.”
“Nonsense. Nothing ever fizzled. You met Hunter, and Sam stepped aside because he saw you were in love with someone else. He did the right thing because that’s what Sam always does. But, now . . . Are you in love with Bryce? Does Sam have to step aside again? Because he will. If it’s what’s best for you, you know he will.”
“He asked me to move in with him,” I blurted.
“Who did?”
“They both did, actually.”
“Oh my Lord!” She crossed herself, looking up at the heavens.
“I know!” I ran my hands through my hair and then let my arms fall limp at my sides.
“What are you going to do? Or better yet, what is your heart telling you to do?”
“No, don’t do that. This isn’t a matter of the heart. This is real life, Mom. People’s feelings are on the line and I don’t want to hurt either of them.”
“So, you’ll hurt yourself instead? Listen to how ridiculous that sounds, London. You have to consider what—or whom—you really want, and the consequences shouldn’t matter because it is a matter of the heart.”
My heart was currently getting lots of action. Not the good kind, however. It felt wonderful to be wanted, cared for, loved, but I was also suffocating in guilt and strangled with confusion. After losing Hunter, I feared I’d never get this back and now I had both Bryce and Sam willing to pick up where he left off—to do it better.
Once again, I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t want to rely on Mom’s opinion to help me see this through, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about leaving it up to her. Mother knows best. In an effort to set my mind at ease—just the teensiest bit—I knelt beside her, enclosing her hand in my grasp and pleading, “What should I do?”
Every Breath You Take (The Every Breath Duet Book 1) Page 22