The Soldier's Bride

by Christensen, Rachelle J.

  He found her top button and moved his hand across the soft fabric of her dress, kissing her collarbone and the top of her shoulder.

  “Vroom-choo!” Danny said as he pushed his train into Sterling’s shoe.

  Evelyn felt her face go crimson, but Sterling chuckled and turned toward Danny, keeping his arm around her waist.

  “Choo-choo! You’re driving that train great.”

  They followed Danny into the front room and settled onto the couch.

  “You don’t have to stay with him. I asked a friend. He said if we were engaged . . .”

  “No, Sterling.” Evelyn covered his hand with hers. “Jim’s already told me that—that I could choose.”

  “Then choose me. I love you and I love Danny.” He glanced at the toddler and smiled. “He knows me.”

  “I know. He was so excited to see you.” She looked at their hands intertwined and the sheen of gold on her ring finger brought a surge of guilt. She withdrew her hand and moved to stand. “What am I doing?”

  Sterling pulled her back onto the couch and held her. “You’re doing the right thing. You’re listening to your heart and letting it make the choice.”

  “But my head knows this isn’t right.” She held up her hand and pointed at the ring. “I shouldn’t even be here.”

  “Shh.” Sterling nodded toward Danny who had paused in his play and looked at his mother with a worried expression. “It’s okay big guy.” Sterling slid onto the floor and tousled Danny’s hair. “Your mommy’s just excited to see me.”

  She smiled. “You don’t give up, do you?”

  He sat back on the couch and hugged her. “Not when it concerns you.” He kissed her again, but Evelyn shook her head.

  “No, I can’t kiss you and then go back home to Jim.”

  “Then don’t.” He leaned toward her and kissed her again. She recognized his longing and the dangerous heat of desire that burned hotter with each kiss. He caressed her mouth with his and she felt the strength of his arms around her.

  She broke free, kissed him once more and then placed a hand on his cheek. “I can’t.”

  Sterling’s lips twitched, but he didn’t speak. He held her hand and watched Danny play with his train.

  The hushed stillness felt comfortable, and Evelyn leaned against Sterling’s chest as he wrapped his arm around her. She watched Danny, too, and her heart hurt for the choice she had to make. She couldn’t deny Danny his father, and even as that thought lingered she felt the warmth of Sterling’s embrace, the way he caressed her arm as he held her.

  There was always tenderness when Sterling looked at Evelyn or Danny. She knew he would be good to them, that he could provide for them, but was it the right thing to do?

  “We’d better get going. I told Mother we were only going for a walk.”

  “I’ll be here when you decide to come back.” Sterling held onto her hand as she stood. “In the meantime, you only have a week until your performance. Do you think you can make it over to the Silver Lining to practice with me?”

  “I think Tuesday or Wednesday might work.” Evelyn bundled up Danny and allowed Sterling to help her with her coat. “I still don’t know if I should have come here.”

  “But I’m glad you did.” Sterling put a hand on her cheek and then wove it through the thick hair hanging down her back. He pulled her forward until their lips almost touched and murmured, “I love you, Evelyn. You’ve given me a reason to love life again.”

  He covered her mouth with a kiss that lingered as Evelyn walked home through the chill air and her tears washed away his caress.

  Chapter 28 ~ Tombstone

  December 1945 ~ Jim

  Jim sat on the porch swing sharpening the snow shovel. He frowned when Evelyn pushed the stroller up the walkway. “You went to see him didn’t you?”

  Her heart stuttered and she tried to swallow the panicked feeling that was rising up to warm her face. “I took Danny for a walk. I needed to clear my head.”

  “Then where did he get that toy? I haven’t seen it before.” He pointed at the train.

  “Stir, vroom-choo,” Danny said.

  She sighed. “Sterling gave it to him for his birthday.”

  The look of fury that crossed Jim’s face startled her. She had never seen Jim so angry before, but the things they’d been through while apart had changed them.

  “So you did go see him?”

  Evelyn frowned. She had never been a good liar. “I owed it to him, Jim. You don’t know what he’s done for me and Danny.”

  “You don’t owe him anything. I’m your husband.” He clenched his jaw, threw down the shovel, and walked away.

  ~*~

  Jim marched down the sidewalk, restraining himself from breaking into a run. The day was still cool enough that his breath streamed out in a mist around him. He’d stayed close to home, and Marie had told Harold not to mention to anyone that he was back yet. She wanted to give Evelyn and him a chance at privacy before the whole town invaded, wanting to learn about the war hero returned from the grave.

  But Jim wondered if it was really because Marie was afraid Evelyn wouldn’t choose him and it’d be easier for Evelyn to make that choice without the pressure of the entire town knowing. Maybe she wanted to spare him the pain of rejection. He clenched his fists and glared at the clear blue sky, the sun hanging lazily overhead seeming not to care about its duty to warm the earth.

  He knew where the shop and house were located because Harold had told him Sterling bought the old Gentry residence. His anger reached its boiling point when he approached the house and saw Evelyn’s footsteps in the snow crisscrossing the stroller’s indentation.

  Bounding up the steps, he banged on the door with his fist. He heard a noise to his left and saw a man with black hair walk around the corner of the garage. Jim jumped off the porch, heading for the broad-shouldered, thickset man who had stolen his wife’s heart.

  “If you’re going to take a swing at me, then you can just turn back around and go home.” Sterling swung a heavy wrench from side to side and glared at Jim.

  Jim skidded to a stop and eyed the wrench. He raised his fist. “You leave my wife and my son alone!”

  “I have as much right to her heart as you do. You don’t know what she’s been through.” Sterling said.

  “She’s not going to leave me for you. She’s married to me,” Jim spat.

  “I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

  Sterling raised the wrench as Jim took another step toward him. “Why don’t you take it easy, Jim. She came to me. I haven’t called her, seen her—nothin’ since you got home.”

  “Well, you sure as hell didn’t turn her away today. What did you two do for over an hour?”

  With a grunt, Sterling dropped the wrench and stuffed his hands in his pocket. “She hasn’t told you yet, has she?”

  “Told me what?”

  “It means she’s not comfortable with you.” Sterling closed his eyes and his face was lined with pain. “Like I said. You have no idea what she’s been through.”

  “I know something bad happened to her, and I think it may have had something to do with a man and that makes me more than angry. It makes my head hurt and my fingers itch for my Colt revolver.” Jim kicked at a clump of snow.

  “Maybe that’s part of the reason she’s afraid to tell you. She’s worried about what you’ll do.”

  Jim’s head snapped up, he pushed out a breath and studied Sterling “Can you tell me? Will she be okay? Was she hurt?”

  The tendons in Sterling’s neck stood out and he pursed his lips. With a shake of his head, he murmured. “It’s not my place. She needs to tell you, but I hope she does it soon. That’s why she came over here. She feels safe with me.”

  “She’s my wife.” Jim rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. “It’s my job to make her feel safe.”

  “I don’t care if she’s your wife—you were gone. I love her. I love Danny.” He lowered his voice. “And apparently she’
s not comfortable with you.”

  Jim screamed and leaped at Sterling, fists flying. His right hook connected with the side of Sterling’s face and they both cried out in pain. The frozen air added to the searing pain Jim felt in his hand, but he swung again with his left.

  With a quick movement, Sterling blocked his punch and angled his hand straight toward Jim’s neck. He reared back, but Sterling still connected with his Adam’s apple. Jim gasped and fell to the ground, but whipped Sterling’s legs out from underneath him with his feet as he went down.

  They both struggled for air and Sterling rolled over and grabbed his wrench. He sat up, but Jim held up his hands.

  “You think if I’d had a choice I wouldn’t have stayed home and never left her side?” He pushed his throbbing hand into the snow and grimaced. “I know you fought in the war, too. What if things were the other way around and Evelyn was your wife?”

  Sterling looked at the ground and rubbed the side of his face where Jim had punched him.

  “You have to let her go. I’m begging you, please. I’m her husband. Evelyn is my wife, the mother of our son.” Jim paused and rubbed his neck, finding it hard to swallow.

  He scooped up some snow and held it on his knuckles. “We’ve been given another shot at having a family. It’s more than I ever could’ve hoped for when I was flying those bombers riddled with bullet holes. You know what I mean, you were there. Don’t take this from me. In the end, you’ll destroy her.”

  “I would never hurt her,” Sterling said.

  “Then let her go. She won’t leave me—her husband. If you really love her, you’ll let her go. Give her permission to release you—unburden her heart.”

  Sterling pushed his hands through his hair. “You gave her the choice, now let her make it.”

  “Don’t you want her to be happy?” Jim cried.

  “Don’t you? Why is it so hard to imagine that she could be happy with me?” Sterling said.

  “Because I’m her husband!” Jim yelled. “You’re worse than the German scum I shot down from the sky, if you think holding onto a married woman is going to make her happy.”

  “She wasn’t married when I fell in love with her. She was a widow. A lonely, terrified, heartbroken widow raising a son by herself.” Sterling stood up and took a few steps toward his garage, then he turned. “And something you’re forgetting is that Evelyn is in love with me, too.”

  Jim’s heart pounded in his chest. The man was right, though it cut him deeply to admit it. Still, that wasn’t the only truth. “Maybe so, but if you know anything about Evelyn, you know she could never live with herself if she didn’t give us a real chance—give me and my son a real chance.” Jim swallowed and pushed himself up from the snow. “And I only need that one chance, because I love her with my whole soul, and I will do anything in the world to make her happy. You need to man up and get out of the way. You need to let us try. If you really love her, you’ll give her that.”

  Their eyes locked for a long moment. “Maybe,” Sterling said, “it’s already too late. Go home to your wife, Jim.”

  Jim watched Sterling disappear around the corner and heard a door slam. He punched the snow and bit his lip as pain shot up his arm. The seat of his pants was soaked and his legs were beginning to feel numb from the cold. He dusted the snow off his jacket and rubbed the back of his neck. A few coins jingled in his pockets as he stuffed his hands inside. He had enough money in his wallet for bus fare and he knew where he wanted to go: Colorado Springs.

  ~*~

  Later that night, Evelyn paced in the kitchen. With a scrub brush in one hand and a rag in the other, she wiped and scrubbed until her shoulders ached and her fingers were raw and red.

  “Honey, you need to go to bed.” Marie walked over to the sink where Evelyn rinsed her rag. “Your dad’s already been asleep for an hour.”

  “I know.” Evelyn wiped the moisture from her forehead and leaned against the counter. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I think you do.” Marie patted her arm. “Sometimes it’s the things that need done most that are the hardest to do. So we try to tell ourselves we’re not sure in order to delay doing those things that might cause us pain, even if they’re right.”

  The rag dripped into the enamel sink with a steady plop, plop. The lemon scent of the cleaner hung in the air, so Evelyn pushed the kitchen window open and took a deep breath.

  “Mama, I love them both. I don’t want to hurt either of them, but no matter who I choose, someone will be left alone.”

  “Evelyn, they’re men. They can take care of themselves. You can’t make a decision like this based on how you think someone else is going to survive. You’ve got to live with yourself for the rest of your life. If you’re not happy, it won’t matter how hard you try to make everyone else feel that way.”

  The rag stopped dripping, and Evelyn rubbed the back of her neck trying to make sense of her life. They both jumped when they heard something thud on the front porch.

  “What was that?” Marie said.

  “Do you think it’s Jim?”

  The two women listened for another sound, and when they heard nothing Evelyn dashed from the kitchen and yanked the door open. The porch light flickered and she screamed. She shrank back against the door and crumpled into a sobbing heap.

  “What is it?” Marie stepped over Evelyn and covered her mouth as a cry escaped.

  The tombstone was fractured into three pieces with jagged edges, but they had been pieced together on the porch so one could easily read the inscription.

  Here lies my only true love

  James R. Patterson

  1919-1943

  The wind gusted through the open doorway and lifted Evelyn’s skirts.

  “Come inside, you’ll catch cold.” Marie tugged on her daughter’s arm.

  Evelyn turned when she heard a noise like paper scratching against the pavement. A single piece of paper flapped back and forth against the edge of the tombstone. Evelyn had to lift the piece of stone to release the paper. She stood up slowly and let the door close on the macabre scene behind her. She held the paper under the lamplight with a trembling hand.

  Jim’s handwriting in bold flowing strokes brought another searing memory to the forefront as she read,

  Maybe you’d rather have this instead of me. I’ll be at the inn.

  Evelyn felt the fingers of bitter cold seeping around the door frame and clutching at her heart. She held the paper out to Marie and a sob rose up and bubbled over before she could speak. Marie read the note and then put her arms around her daughter.

  “I don’t know what to do,” Evelyn cried. “I just don’t know what to do.”

  Chapter 29 ~ Choices

  December 1945 ~ Jim

  Jim stayed at the inn for two days worrying about how to win his wife’s heart. He thought about the music box he’d given to Evelyn. She’d been so happy then, so full of love for him. How could so much have changed in just a few years?

  When he wrote the note, he never dreamed it would come back to haunt him. The freedom he’d given her to live, really live, hurt more than he ever could’ve imagined. But he wouldn’t allow himself to regret the lines he’d penned. Jim had to rely on his belief that every experience was part of the greater framework of what made life so miraculous—of what made a person who they were.

  ~*~

  The Silver Lining looked the same as always. Harold had insisted on driving Evelyn over and told her he’d be back to pick her up at around nine thirty.

  “If it isn’t the prettiest lady in town come back to sing to us.” Frank hugged her and thumbed over his shoulder. “Sterling’s already here. How are you two doing? I heard rumors.”

  “They’re true. Jim’s back—he was a POW left for dead.”

  Frank uttered a few choice words about the people who had held Jim prisoner and then frowned. “I ’spect that’s caused a heap of trouble for your young heart. No wonder Sterling looked so nervous tonight.”

/>   Evelyn nodded. “It’s been difficult.”

  Frank hooked her arm in his as they walked through the lounge and into the practice room beyond. “It’ll work out. He’ll be fine. Now go sing your heart out.”

  “Thanks, Frank.”

  Evelyn stepped quietly into the practice room, where Sterling was warming up. He played the guitar with such talent that he seemed to cradle each note before releasing it to join the melody floating through the air.

  He looked up and smiled at her. She noticed his hair had grown longer and the ebony curls hung close to his emerald eyes framed by thick dark lashes. She wanted to keep a mental picture of him like this, his face warm and expectant as he gazed upon her. His eyes full of love.

  As she focused on Sterling’s handsome face, the impact of Frank’s words fell heavy on her heart. He meant Sterling would be fine about Evelyn staying with Jim. Frank expected it like everyone else.

  “It’s so good to see you,” Sterling said.

  With a quick inhale, Evelyn regained her composure. She crossed the room and Sterling drew her into his arms. When he kissed her, she tried to remember the words her mother had said about the things that most need doing.

  A few moments later, she tore herself from his passionate embrace. “Sterling, I can’t kiss you anymore. I feel so much for you that it clouds my mind.”

  “And how is that a bad thing?” He smiled, and Evelyn blushed.

  “Jim left. He’s staying at the inn. I haven’t seen him since Saturday.”

  Sterling ran his tongue over his teeth and nodded. “He came to see me. We had some words.”

  “I thought he was headed there.” Evelyn lowered her gaze. “I don’t want to hurt either of you. It’s not fair. How could I fall in love with two men?”

  “Easy, when one of them is dead. It gets difficult when he comes back from the dead.” Sterling chuckled and took hold of her hand. “Don’t blame yourself for this mess we call life. I’ll love you no matter what you decide.” Sterling hesitated, meeting Evelyn’s gaze. “Have you told him about Harlan?”