Of Ashes And Sin_A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance

by K. N. Knight

  “And you believe in them, too?”

  Zain nodded. “I’m not a gullible bear, whatever you might think. At first I was skeptical, but I spent a long time reading the books. The history matches the stories my family used to tell me when I was young. And it was right about you, wasn’t it?”

  I pursed my lips. “I guess so,” I said after a pause.

  “The books also predict the particularly violent death of the last Phoenix, and suggest that it will leave the world in chaos.”

  “But they don’t offer any handy solutions for getting us out of this chaos?”

  “Only that balance needs to be restored.”

  I stared at him, stunned by the gravity of his tone. “Balance needs to be restored,” I echoed. “And from that, Rael has hatched a plan to make you all responsible for creating a brand-new Phoenix?”

  “I know the plan needs work,” Zain said. “But it’s all we’ve got at the moment—” He broke off, groaned, and kicked at some loose earth with his boot. “And I’m tired of watching my friends suffer, losing so many shifters to the madness. It’s a sickness that grows worse the longer the fires are away.”

  I looked right into his eyes as he spoke. I knew I shouldn’t have, but it was already too late. Echoes from his past filled my mind, and I gasped as the pain pierced me, sharp, then blunt and all-encompassing. I slumped to my knees, then fell forward onto my hands, as waves and waves of it passed through me. My vision went blank, my ears rang, and I was conscious of nothing but his sufferings. Maybe I even blacked out for a moment.

  “Ranger,” a soft, deep voice was saying, as if waking me from a dream. I lifted my head. Zain was looking at me with such concern. I dropped my gaze fast before his pain could hijack my emotions again.

  “What is it? What happened?”

  “I see your suffering,” I gasped, too exhausted to try to hide it.

  He drew back sharply. “What? What do you mean?”

  “I see everything that happened to you. In your past.”

  His voice tightened with caution. “I thought that thing you did at people’s houses was just a hustle to make money.”

  “Sometimes it is,” I said, still breathing hard. “But sometimes it’s real. Like now. And I’m sorry for what happened to you.”

  “Wow,” he murmured, and I knew he was thinking of all his sufferings, too.

  I pushed back onto my knees and stared at the ground, waiting, expecting him to leave.

  But he didn’t. “Ranger,” he said at last in a cracked voice, “we need your help. Please—”

  “I don’t think I can help you,” I muttered. “I think Rael has gotten very carried away with his ideas, and he’s taking you all to what could be a dangerous place.”

  Zain gave a deep sigh, so full of sadness that it made my heart ache. “I don’t know if any of this is going to work either. But isn’t it worth a try? What else are we going to do with our lives? I’ve watched you these weeks, going from place to place by yourself. So strong, but so alone. And your wolf craves company. I can feel it, you know?”

  I laughed hollowly because he was right.

  “Just travel with us for a while,” he continued. “Get to know us. We’re good guys. We’ll take care of you. And if you’re not happy at any time, you can leave. I promise.”

  “Which direction are you headed in anyway?”

  “Same way as you—south—where it’s warm longer.”

  I raised my head and looked up at his lips, keeping my gaze away from his eyes.

  “That’s why you never look me in the eye,” he said. “I just understood.”

  “Yup. That’s right. They are the window to the soul, after all.”

  “Come with us, please.”

  I sighed. There was safety in numbers. And the thought of not walking every day was so appealing. And my wolf—I could barely articulate the thought to myself—my wolf needed company right now while I got to know my true form.

  “Okay. For a while,” I found myself saying. “I’m not going to commit to anything, though.”

  “Okay, good.” His well-shaped lips curved into a smile. “Thank you, Ranger.”

  “There’s nothing to thank me for.” I got to my feet and brushed earth and grit off the knees of my leggings.

  This has nothing to do with my sudden need to alleviate his pain, I thought as I turned back the way I’d come. Because I don’t have such a gift anyway.

  Chapter 5

  Zain walked beside me while I seemed to go slower with every step, my thighs heavy and the ache in my feet turning to a throb.

  “Want a piggy-back?” he asked in a jokey tone, but I knew he was serious, and I was sorely tempted to accept. His bulky form looked so strong and capable. I was sure he’d barely notice my weight on his back.

  Just as another uphill appeared, seemingly from nowhere, two horses crested the brow of it, a bay and a gray, pulling an old-fashioned wagon. Oran and Rael were both seated on the bench at the front. I stopped walking and surveyed the spectacle, arms hanging loose by my sides. “Why are you here?” I said tiredly.

  “It’s time to leave now,” Oran said, returning my gaze coolly.

  I narrowed my eyes. “You were planning to pick me up on the way, regardless of whether I agreed to come or not?”

  “We need you, Ranger, and we hoped that Zain could appeal to your better nature,” Rael said.

  “And if he didn’t succeed? Were you just going to kidnap me again?”

  “You sure look like you need a ride. You’re practically dead on your feet,” Oran said in a mock folksy tone.

  “And whose fault is that?” I snapped.

  Oran’s eyebrows shot up, his handsome face becoming exceptionally haughty. He was a blueblood, a rich kid, and I disliked him even more for his air of entitlement.

  “We helped to bring out your true form. For most shifters, that’s a cause for celebration,” he said.

  “I was fine as I was before I met you all,” I replied.

  “But you’ll be happier with us,” Rael cut in. “We’ll take good care of you.”

  “Come take a load off, little wolf,” Oran crooned. “It’s a dangerous world out there, and a wolf needs her pack.”

  “I promise no one’s going to hurt you,” Zain said. “You have my word.” He touched his palm to his heart. Somehow I found myself believing him.

  “You’re not my pack,” I said as I stalked to the rear of the wagon and swung myself up onto the rear board.

  Zain jumped up beside me. “Why don’t you lie down a while?” He indicated two thin mattresses that were stacked on top of one another and took up half the floor space. They were the ones that had been in the previous building.

  I didn’t need asking twice. My knees collapsed, and I sank gratefully onto it, stretching out on my side, and propping my head on my arm.

  “Are you comfortable?” Zain asked, his brow furrowing.

  “I’m so tired I think l could sleep anywhere,” I replied.

  He gave a deep rumble, which I realized was his laugh. “Assuming your true form takes a lot out of you. You’ll probably be like this for a couple more days at least.”

  “Great.” I rolled my eyes. “Just what I need when I’m in the company of a bunch of strangers who either want to attack me or pimp me out.”

  Zain’s face fell. “None of us want to do anything against your will, Ranger.”

  “Could’ve fooled me,” I muttered. “Do we have a specific destination in mind?”

  “We’re heading to the Southern Reaches where we believe the dragons are most likely to be since there have been a few sightings of them in that area.”

  “But why do they like hanging out there?”

  “It’s hot.” He grinned. “And apparently they like hanging out in the rock caves.”

  I grinned, too, before I remembered I shouldn’t be too friendly toward him. But, damn, he had an infectious smile.

  “Sleep if you want to. We’ll likely trave
l a couple more hours before we set up camp for the night.” He got to his feet and jumped down from the wagon.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m just taking a load off for the horses. We get to where we’re going a lot faster when the horses don’t have to carry all of us. I’ll leave you to rest now,” he said and disappeared around the side of the wagon.

  I could slip away now, I thought. Climb down off the back of the wagon, jump into the trees, shift, and by the time they figure out I’m gone, I’d be miles away. If only I wasn’t so tired right now.

  I also felt guilty for making the horses carry my weight. But out of all of us, I figured I needed to lie down the most. I let my head fall onto the pillow. The pillowcase smelled fresh, as if it had been washed in olive oil soap. I was surrounded by the white canvas walls of the wagon. The frame was that classic cylindrical shape that I’d seen in history books about the pioneers, with the canvas stretched over the top and across the front, separating the space from the driver’s seat, which gave me some privacy. Beside the mattress was a huge pile of plastic boxes, neatly stacked together, and a heap of dark-green canvas and metal poles.

  The rolling motion of the wagon was hypnotic, and I closed my eyes. I’d been heading south, anyway, with no destination in mind and little idea of what it would be like when I got there. I only knew I wanted to escape the cold northern winter. I already knew there was a chance there’d be nothing down there. That the long, hot summer could have killed all the crops and vegetation, and the land would be barren. Maybe having some company when I got to see it for myself wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  When I next opened my eyes, I sensed, rather than saw, a figure at the back of the wagon. I raised my head. It was Oran, marching along, regarding me with idle curiosity as if I were a field mouse he wasn’t yet sure was worthy of plunging from the sky to snatch in his talons.

  “What you looking at?” I snapped, hoping he’d go away.

  “Oh, I was just wondering what kind of person it takes to become the fifth element,” he said carelessly.

  “Surprised that kind of person would be me?”

  He shrugged. “Kinda, I guess.”

  “Are you thinking it would be more fitting for it to be a guy?”

  He looked thoughtful. “I don’t know. Maybe another species, I guess. Perhaps one with the gift of flight.”

  “Yeah. Because flying is so much more exalted than walking.”

  His eyes hardened. “It is. You know how much faster we would get to Southern Reaches if we flew there instead of trudging at this petty pace?”

  “I have no idea. But maybe you should fly there by yourself, and the others will catch up with you later.”

  Something passed across his features, too fast for me to interpret. “We need to stay together,” he said shortly.

  He fell silent again, and I stared into space, too unsettled by him to close my eyes again. Instead, I listened to the rolling of the wheels on the road, wondering what they were made of. Tires were a rare commodity these days. Were they wooden or metal? What did people make wagon wheels from before rubber tires were invented? It wasn’t the kind of thing I’d devoted any thinking space to before. Who cared what they were made of anyway? I must be getting delirious.

  “What’s with that little exorcism con you’ve got going on?” Oran asked, abruptly enough to startle me.

  “It’s not a con. I give people the gift of peace and restful sleep.”

  His lip curled. “You mean you trick them into believing their house is haunted in the first place so you can do them the honor of removing whatever ghosties they’re gullible enough to believe are hanging around there?”

  “I’m filling a demand in the market and scratching a living together like everyone else. Or nearly everyone else.” I sat up and turned so I was facing him. “Since I’m kind of getting the impression that earning your own living has never been a priority for you.”

  The muscles in his jaw twitched. Good. I’d rattled his cage. “My family made smart business decisions over the space of a century or so, which has allowed their descendants to live in comfort. And, yes, I worked for a living before the fires. I was a director at a hedge fund.”

  “Rich boy’s job,” I said and treated him to an extravagant yawn. He didn’t have the monopoly on acting as if everything was sooo boring.

  “That’s what you all like to tell yourselves,” he said.

  “Who, pray, are you all?” I hissed, forcing my wolf, which was rising beneath my skin, back down again.

  He opened his mouth, closed it again, and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. None of us have anything of any value now.”

  I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and the pain in that ice-blue stare almost knocked me flat. I dropped my head between my knees, struggling to conceal my reaction. But there was a thud, and when I looked up, Oran had leapt into the wagon and was poised directly in front of me on his haunches.

  “What happened? What did you see?” he demanded.

  “Nothing.”

  “Look at me.”

  “No.” I kept my head down, but he grasped my chin. I fought, but he was too strong and managed to tilt it until I was forced to either look at him or close my eyes. I made my eyes defocus, so his face was blurry, and as traces of his pain came to me, like wisps of smoke, I pushed them back, focusing on my own pain, on thoughts of those I’d lost. When he finally released me, I collapsed against the side of the wagon, gasping for breath.

  “There’s nothing to see,” I spat.

  He looked almost wounded. “That con of yours isn’t always a con, is it? The last one you did was real.”

  “Maybe I was just very good at making it look that way,” I said, rubbing my jaw where his fingertips had bruised it. My wolf was bristling, and if I hadn’t been so keen not to ruin my only pair of pants, I might’ve let her burst out of me and sink her teeth into Oran’s own jaws before he knew what was happening.

  “Did you have the same, uh, career before the fires?” he said, his features quickly regaining their typical self-assurance.

  “Nope. I was mostly busy being a school kid. And I used to babysit sometimes.”

  “A school kid. Of course,” he murmured, and an intense look came into his eyes. “You’re very young, aren’t you?”

  “Yup. If the fires hadn’t come, I still wouldn’t be old enough to drink legally.” I rolled my eyes. How quaint those old laws were. When humans discovered that fire could be gone at the flick of a switch, social organization suddenly got a lot less important.

  “Did you come from a big family?” he asked in a softer voice than I’d heard him use before.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. I knew he was trying to be nice, but I really didn’t. I pulled my knees into my chest again. “Maybe I’ll sleep for a while.”

  He nodded. “Of course.” And he sprang out of the wagon so smoothly that his feet barely seemed to touch the ground.

  When he’d disappeared around the side, I lay undisturbed for an hour or so. I could hear Rael speaking to the horses sometimes, and all three of the guys muttering between themselves, but I was too weary to concentrate on what they were saying. The clouds had cleared, and the sky turned violet, then smoky gray, then a vivid royal blue.

  After a while, the guys’ voices became louder. They were evidently trying to reach an agreement on something. Then the wagon turned a one-eighty, backtracked a little, and made a right turn down a forest track. The going got very bumpy, some of the jolts big enough to bounce me an inch or so off the mattress. At last, the wagon rolled to a stop. It looked like we’d just stopped on the road, unless there was a clearing ahead. I sat up and Rael appeared at the back of the wagon.

  His hair was messier than ever, but it suited him. It was pushed to the side, almost hanging over one eye and it made him look raffish and mischievous. He flashed me his dazzling smile. “Our home for the night,” he said, dipping his head theatrically an
d spreading his hands wide.

  “Where are we?”

  “In an old lot where people used to park and go on nature hikes. They’re usually good places to stay overnight. There might even be bathrooms.”

  I climbed out of the wagon and stretched. “I could sure use the bathroom,” I said, and I felt for my knife. It wasn’t there, of course. I’d dropped it in the lodging house.

  “Looking for this?” Rael asked and pulled it out of the side of his belt.

  I gaped. “How did you—”

  “I heard it drop and picked it up. But the question is—is it safe to give it back to you?”

  I snorted. “Please. If I was planning to attack you, it’d be with my teeth.”

  “Okay.” He handed it to me, fixing me with a serious gaze, his eyes glittering in the dark. “The sheath’s in my bag. I’ll dig it out for you later.”

  I’d left the sheath behind when I’d shredded my jeans earlier, figuring I didn’t have any further use for it. “Thanks,” I said uncertainly.

  “Sure thing.”

  Something coiled inside me. I didn’t trust this tiger’s kindness one bit. I preferred it when he was smooth and dangerous. I held my knife in my hand since there was nowhere else to put it, and I walked a lap of the parking lot, looking for the bathrooms. Beyond the lot was a grassy area with some picnic tables, and beyond that was a wooden shack with separate male and female entrances. I advanced cautiously, noting that my eyesight seemed to have sharpened, even in my human form, and I found my way in the near-darkness quite easily.

  The bathroom was better than expected—clean and water came out of the faucets. There was even soap in the dispenser. Very unusual. Maybe some random person had taken it upon themselves to take care of this place. An ex-park ranger maybe? I mused. And then I caught myself. There were probably no park rangers still alive. Most people who worked in nature had perished when the wildfires tore through the land. But, wait—the trees in this forest hadn’t been burned, unless they were a very fast-growing species. I guessed they’d just had a lucky escape. Around eighty percent of forests were destroyed, so that left twenty percent untouched.