Of Ashes And Sin_A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance

by K. N. Knight

  “How did you know Selka was lying today?” Rael asked while we were discussing the ambush and how we’d be more on our guard in future.

  I looked from one to the other, knowing it was time. “Since I was very small, I’ve had an ability to sense the energy of past events,” I began. “Usually, when something bad has happened in a particular place, it kind of comes back to me in echoes.”

  Rael leaned forward, very interested. “You mean you can see or feel an energy?”

  I picked up a twig and fiddled with it. “Both, really. I usually feel the energy first. Mostly in a place, but sometimes in a person who has suffered. And if it’s really strong, I can see it, too–” I broke off, thinking of the mayor’s house that I’d exorcised the other day.

  “When we watched you at the house on the hill, that was real, wasn’t it?” Zain said.

  I nodded. “There had been murders there. It was terrible. One of the most intense echoes I’ve ever experienced.”

  Zain reached out and laid his big hand on my arm, and I glanced up, startled. He flashed a reassuring smile.

  “And Selka?” Rael said.

  “I got nothing from her. She was supposed to be terrified by something that had just happened. But her soul felt flat. And her eyes were cold.”

  All three of them nodded thoughtfully.

  “So, let me get this straight, you can often see people’s past pain?” Oran said, a touch of ice in his voice.

  “Can you see our pasts?” Rael cut in, head dipped low, green eyes glittering in the moonlight.

  “Sometimes. If it’s particularly painful, I can.” I looked at Zain meaningfully. Wisely, perhaps, he lifted his head at that moment and looked right at the moon.

  Oran gave one of his derisive snorts. “Well, that’s great, but stay out of my head, little hobo.”

  I shot him a furious look. First of all, he accused me of being a fake, then when he saw evidence that I wasn’t, he still couldn’t be pleasant about it. “Somehow, I doubt you ever loved anyone or anything enough to feel true pain, Oran,” I snapped. I got to my feet and stalked off into the forest.

  Chapter 8

  When I reached the stream, I took off my boots and stepped into it, knowing from earlier that there were no sharp rocks there, only pebbles, their edges softened by the flow of the water over many years, and they massaged my aching feet. Why did Oran have to keep being such an asshole? He was all sharp edges. Whichever way you approached him, he was ready to jab you. I bent down, grabbed a handful of pebbles, and tossed them into the stream, trying to get them to land exactly at the point where the moonbeams hit the water. Suddenly, a stone whizzed past me and landed at the exact spot where I’d tossed my last pebble. I turned my head, knowing instinctively it was Zain. At the sight of his big, reassuring presence, a flood of warmth washed through me. Out of all of them, he unsettled me the least. Despite being the biggest, I knew he’d never hurt me.

  “Not bad, big guy,” I said.

  “You’re a good shot, too, for a girl,” he said with a grin. The moonlight was shining in his face, illuminating the strong angles of his face.

  “Hey!” I kicked the water, splashing it at him and soaking half his pants. “I could kick your ass any day of the week.”

  “I know it,” he said. “I was just pulling your chain.”

  I turned to face him and, suddenly, I didn’t feel like laughing anymore. Today had taken a lot out of me.

  “I was kidding, really. You’re a wolf. Of course, you’re really agile and coordinated.”

  “It’s not that. It’s just…been a long day, that’s all.”

  He let off a long rumbling sigh. “Oran doesn’t mean to be so harsh. He just gets kind of prickly sometimes and tends to keep himself at a distance. And I guess he was a little freaked out at the thought you could look into him so easily.”

  “Prickly?” I said. “Arrogant and entitled, more like. Guess he never got the memo that it’s not okay to go around passing judgment on people whenever the hell you feel like it.”

  “I understand why you see him that way, but he’s had hard times, too, like all of us.”

  I raised an eyebrow, not sure if I wanted to hear about Oran’s secret pains.

  “He did have a privileged upbringing, which of course has left him with a dose of affluenza,” Zain said. “And some of his values are still influenced by the wealth he enjoyed during his childhood and early adulthood. But I get the impression his parents were never very interested in him. They were lost in the fires, I believe, but he won’t talk about it. I know he tried to save his driver who survived for a while but then died of pneumonia just before we all got together, and that shook him badly. I think Oran felt that the one good thing he’d done in life had turned out to be pointless. He took the loss hard, and I know he’s very selective about who he lets in these days. He also mentioned he got jilted by a woman he loved, who rejected him for his even richer friend. That’s given him a pretty screwed-up worldview. Hence he has a particular fear of being conned.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you just love it when a guy has a bad experience with one woman and chooses to extrapolate that into his feelings about all women?”

  “I hate it.” Zain’s dark eyes flashed. “It turns me furious, in fact. I’m just trying to give you some context. Oran’s a good guy when you get to know him. He’s just been damaged by his sufferings.”

  “Haven’t we all?” I said in a harder tone than I’d intended.

  Zain’s forehead furrowed, and when I looked into his eyes, his pain charged through me like a lightning bolt.

  “I mean, some more than others—” I broke off.

  He took a step forward, and then another one until he was right in front of me. Then he reached out and wrapped his arms around my waist. I didn’t protest when he drew me against his body. I laid my head on his huge chest, and I felt like I was sinking into him. The pain dissipated and I could hear the slow, steady beat of his heart, and a deep, rhythmic rumbling. A purr, I thought.

  He rubbed his hands up and down my back, from the nape of my neck to the waistband of my leggings. I made a small sound of appreciation. It was comforting, and pleasurable, like a really good massage. But it was more than that, too. I lifted my head to look at him. Those coal black eyes were gazing at me, his full, firm lips slightly parted. Holding onto his shoulders with both hands, I raised myself up on tiptoes, and our lips met. He was soft at first, softer than I would have expected. His lips brushed mine, back and forth, the tip of his tongue flickering, but not probing into my mouth. It was tender, erotic, and a shudder ran right through me. I tilted my head to allow him to kiss me more deeply, and he made a small sound, like a repressed growl, as his tongue slid slowly into my mouth. It was velvet soft, and it danced around my own.

  My stomach tingled with butterflies. He held me so tight and kissed me so sweet, I never wanted it to end. But at the same time, the tingling that had begun in my belly was now spreading all over me, and I wanted to be closer and closer to him, to feel his bare skin against mine. I slipped my hands up the back of his shirt, feeling his smooth skin and bulky muscles. There was no fat on him; he was just hard and solid, and there was something very sexy about that.

  “Ranger.” He pulled away from my mouth and murmured into my hair, “I don’t know if this is right.”

  “It’s right. Trust me,” I replied. Suddenly, I couldn’t hold back anymore. The tingle reached the apex of my thighs and became a deep, needy throb as my wolf scrabbled to the surface, urging me to mate.

  He kissed me again, more fiercely this time, and I felt him, hard against my belly. “Are you sure?” His voice was thick with desire, and his need for me aroused me even more.

  I took his hand in mine. “Come on.” I led him out of the stream, along the bank, and onto the first grassy patch that we came across. Then I stood in front of him and pulled my shirt over my head. He stood stock still and watched as I pushed my leggings off, too, I paused, tremblin
g a little, in only my underwear. At last, he came to life, taking me in his arms, running his hands all over my bare skin.

  His touch was electric, and I moaned as he kissed me, beginning at my mouth. He then fell to his knees and kissed a fiery trail from my throat to the valley between my breasts, then all the way to the waistband of my panties. I tugged at his shirt, and he obliged, pulling it over his head before dropping it on the grass. He unclasped my bra and tore it off then placed his mouth on my aching nipples. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound that escaped my throat. My nipples had been aching for days, begging for attention. His mouth was soft and soothing, sucking gently, driving my desire. As he pleasured one, then the other, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of my panties and pulled them all the way down. I stepped out of them and climbed astride his lap, conscious of my nakedness, outdoors, in front of this big, sexy man. His bare chest felt incredible against mine, and we kissed deeply as my aching clit rode the big bulge in his pants. When he unleashed a growl of frustration, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I reached down, unzipped his pants, and his cock sprung out, thick and rock-hard.

  I began to slide onto it, but with a rumbling chuckle, he lifted me, spread his shirt out on the grass, and laid me down gently on my back. Looking into my eyes, he mounted me, entering me with a long, slow thrust.

  We both cried out as he filled me, and my wolf rose to the surface, eager and hungry.

  “Ranger,” he murmured, over and over, as he thrust into me, his eyes never leaving my face, gazing at me with something like adoration. I hadn’t expected such a big guy to be so gentle. But it was as much making love as mating. He held me tenderly, and as my gasps and sighs got louder and louder and my nails raked his back, I could tell he was concentrating, making sure that the rhythm of his hips guided me into the delicious orgasm that erupted slowly all over my body. He kept moving until every drop of pleasure was wrung out of me, and I went floppy in exhaustion. Then his hips began to move harder, faster, and he pulled me up into his arms, holding me tight until he came with a growl, deep inside me.

  We lay panting in each other’s arms for a long time. I didn’t have much to go by, but that was the best sex of my life. I’d never come with a man before, and it had felt incredible with him inside me, holding me, keeping me safe.

  At last, Zain lifted his head and looked at me searchingly. “I thought you didn’t like me like that,” he murmured. “I’d been trying not to like you, too, you know. But when I saw you with Oran yesterday…I don’t know. I felt this pain in my gut like I’d been punched.” His eyes were so full of conflicting emotions that I stroked his face, desperate to ease them away.

  “I don’t know what that was with Oran,” I said slowly. “I didn’t expect it, but it felt right at the time. But being here with you also feels right. So right.” A little laugh burst from my lips. “I can’t explain it.”

  “I think I know what you mean,” he said, equally slowly. Then he frowned. “You’re not going to regret this in the morning?”

  I grinned. “No. I’m pretty sure I won’t. Will you?”

  His grin matched my own. “Are you kidding? This is the best thing that has happened to me in a long, long time. Do you know how beautiful you are, Ranger?”

  I laughed. “Nope. That’s not exactly how I see myself.”

  He stroked my cheek. “Then you should. Go look in a mirror because you’re a stunning woman. But even more than that, you have a beautiful spirit.”

  I blinked. “I think you do as well,” I said.

  We got up slowly and found our clothes. I wanted to sleep there, snuggled in Zain’s arms, not at all cold despite the chill air, but I was mindful the others would come to find us and discover us like this.

  When we returned to camp, Rael and Oran were in the tents, and the only sound was the whickering of the horses. Zain unzipped the flaps to see who was in which tent. “This one’s empty,” he whispered. “You want to sleep here with me?”

  “No, I’d better sleep by myself,” I said, even though the thought of falling asleep in his arms was very appealing.

  “Okay. Goodnight, Ranger.”

  “Goodnight.” I climbed into the wagon and fumbled for the blankets in the dark, my head whirling. As I went to zip the entrance flap closed, I startled at the sight of Rael passing close by. He turned his head and met my gaze, his eyes thoughtful. “Sweet dreams,” he said.

  “You, too,” I replied, guilt pricking my stomach. But I had no idea why I should feel guilty about anything.

  Chapter 9

  New Vegas announced itself with a bunch of garishly-painted wooden signs.

  “Pass right on by,” I muttered. It was the third time since the fires that I’d been greeted by those tacky billboards promising all kinds of sensual pleasures. Choosing not to spend the night there always meant sleeping rough in some scrubland at the side of the road farther on, but I had no desire to negotiate that rough, lawless town. Even by current standards, it was an intimidating place. Shifters didn’t try to hide their identity here, and humans were fascinated by them and often eager to pick fights, apparently.

  To my dismay, Oran called to the horses, and they made a right turn, and we were soon passing through the city limits.

  “We’re stopping here?” I demanded, too perturbed to hide my feelings toward the place.

  “Not excited at the thought of a little gambling and voyeurism?” Rael said, throwing me a sidelong glance.

  I sighed. “Nothing I’ve heard about New Vegas has been good.”

  “It’s a good place to get hold of things we can’t find anyplace else. And we sure need to replenish our supplies. Who knows? We might even have some fun while we’re at it.” There was a sparkle in his eyes that I didn’t appreciate.

  My wolf went on high alert as we entered the city, ears pricked up and hackles raised, but the guys seemed unconcerned by the atmosphere. I stuck close to Rael as we wandered through the dusty, rundown outskirts, looking for an official campsite. We eventually found an old parking lot with a couple of other wagons and carts parked there. As soon as we stopped, Oran and Zain began to uncouple the horses from the wagon.

  “I’m going to go trade these two for fresh ones,” Oran said, holding them both by the head collars.

  “Wait, they’re not going to be our horses anymore?” I said.

  “No, we’ve brought them a long way already,” Zain said. “They’ll need to rest up for a few days before somebody else takes them on.”

  “Oh,” I said, and sorrow clutched at my chest. I didn’t know why I was so affected. After all, losing things was the norm these days, but I’d become fond of this pair. They were gentle and good-natured, and amid the tensions and uncertainties of being with the guys, it had been comforting to have something innocent and predictable in my life. My eyes stinging, I stroked their soft faces and kissed their velvety noses one last time.

  Zain laid a hand on my shoulder as I watched Oran walk away. “I’ll miss them, too,” he said. I flashed him a grateful smile.

  Then he clapped his hands together. “So, I’ve been hearing rumors there’s a bee colony somewhere in the city, and I’d just about give my right pinky for a jar of honey right now. If you guys don’t mind waiting here with the wagon, I’ll go get some, then I’ll come back and stand guard while you go run some errands of your own,” he suggested.

  I nodded. “Works for me.”

  I kept my eyes on him as he walked away, wondering if he was trying to avoid me after what had happened last night. We hadn’t spoken much during the day. I’d been kind of overcome with shyness and had ended up walking beside Rael more often than not, and Zain had seemed a bit…standoffish. Or maybe I was imagining it and he thought I was standoffish. Who knew? I was never good with these things. When I was younger, I never knew when someone had a crush on me, and it was always down to my friends to point it out. All I knew was that every time I thought about what Zain and I had done, a fresh spark of arousa
l ignited inside me and I wanted to do it all over again.

  “What are your wishes for Vegas?” Rael said. He seemed excitable, but in a different way from how he was when he looked at his books. More careless, as if he was finally off duty and in vacation mode.

  “Uh, nothing really,” I replied. I’d been pretty much immune to excitement for a long time now.

  “Come on, I’m sure there are some things you want to buy. Some weird and wonderful foods to try out? I hear people are always working on new ways of cooking food. There might even be a solar panel or two.” He winked at me raffishly.

  I flashed a smile despite myself. It was very hard not to be charmed by him. “I guess I could use some new clothes.”

  “And we’ll contribute to your clothing fund since it was our fault your other pair of pants got shredded,” he said.

  I nodded. “Okay, deal.”

  “Great,” he purred, and his smile turned big and winning.

  Zain was back in minutes, hand literally in a honey jar and a huge grin spread across his face. “Nectar of the gods,” he said as he approached. He had two more honey jars nestled in the crook of his arm.

  Rael shook his head. “Bears and honey. What can I say?”

  Zain held out the jar to me. “Want some?”

  “No thanks. I’d hate to deprive you,” I said, laughing.

  “Okay, let’s go.” Rael rubbed his hands together, as excited as a kid at a carnival, and we headed off.

  New Vegas was nothing and everything like I’d expected it to be. The ground was dirt, and it was dusty. Everything was tired and rundown. All the stalls were handmade wooden shacks, some nicely done, others on the verge of falling apart. It was like an old-fashioned carnival. But everything being sold and bartered could be described as colorful. There were all kinds of used goods—clothes, books, tools, home furnishings. Anything that didn’t rely on power to operate could be found there.