Home Again

by Joan Elliott Pickart

  And somewhere down the road he and Cedar would say goodbye.

  Joey’s chipper mood at the prospect of having Rocky Road ice cream had lasted only as long as the treat. Once the bowls were rinsed and in the dishwasher, he once again slouched onto the sofa with a frown. Nothing Cedar suggested they do together tempted him. He was hurt and angry because his Uncle Mark had broken a promise and that was that.

  “Joey,” Cedar said finally, “I have a suggestion. Want to hear it?”

  Joey shrugged.

  “I was thinking that you should have your very own Puncho the clown to keep in your bedroom at your house. Then if you were upset the way you are now, you could tell Puncho and feel better again. Yes?”

  “Well, maybe,” Joey said, then looked at Cedar. “Okay. Yeah. Cool.”

  “Great. We’ll buy another Puncho, then stop by my office because I have an air pump to blow him up.”

  “It will be my Puncho?” Joey said, sliding off the sofa. “To keep forever?”

  “Yep.”

  “I can hit him or hug him, or do whatever I want to because he’s all mine?”

  “Right.”

  “Forever? Promise?”

  “Forever, Joey,” Cedar said, her heart aching for this fragile little boy who meant so very, very much to her. “I promise.”

  By the time their mission was accomplished, it was time for dinner. Cedar made spaghetti and garlic toast, and, with his very own Puncho smiling in the chair next to him at the table, Joey ate a big serving of each.

  “You make great spaghetti, Cedar,” Joey said, when his plate was clean.

  “Well, thank you, sir,” she said, smiling. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  “I wish you lived with me and Uncle Mark, Cedar.”

  “Because I cook better than your Uncle Mark?” Cedar said, laughing.

  “Well, yeah, but that’s not all,” Joey said. “Uncle Mark smiles more when he’s around you. He’s happier, or something, and not so grumpy. I think he likes you a lot, and I like you a lot, and you like us ’cause I can tell you do, so it’s a good idea that you live with us, see?”

  Sold, Cedar thought. Oh, if only seven-year-old boys could rule the world.

  “Joey,” Cedar said, reaching across the table to cover one of his hands with one of hers, “listen to me carefully. Okay?”

  “’Kay.”

  “Your mom and dad lived together because they were in love with each other, got married, then later had you. That’s how it works. Now, not all families are the same. Some kids have a mom and dad, some have just a dad, some have just a mom, some even live with their grandparents.”

  Joey nodded.

  “You had a mom and dad, Joey, and it’s understandable that you’re sad because things changed so much. But you’re not alone. You have your Uncle Mark, who is learning to be your new dad.”

  “And you could be my new mom, Cedar,” Joey said, pulling his hand free of hers. “You could if you wanted to. Why don’t you want to?”

  “I explained it already, Joey. Your Uncle Mark and I are not…we’re not in love with each other, we’re not going to get married. You and Uncle Mark are a terrific family together, and it will just get better and better.”

  “Couldn’t you try and fall in love with Uncle Mark?” Joey said, leaning toward her. “And I could ask him to try and fall in love with you.”

  “No,” Cedar said, getting to her feet and picking up the plates. “That’s not how it works. You’ll have to trust me on this one, kiddo. You just concentrate on making things good in your family with Uncle Mark. Okay? Okay. End of discussion, sir. We polished off the ice cream already. Why don’t you get that package of cookies out of the cupboard for our dessert?”

  “But…”

  “Cookies, Joey. Now.”

  “Yeah,” Joey said, with a dejected sigh, “okay.”

  Thank goodness, Cedar thought, plunking the plates on the counter. One more minute of Joey’s dissertation and she would have burst into tears, wailing to the rooftops that she was already in love with his Uncle Mark but that he didn’t love her and never would if he knew…no, she wasn’t going to go there…because the family Joey was desperately trying to construct just wasn’t going to happen. Ever.

  Think about the baby girl you’re going to have, she ordered herself, and count your blessings. Joey’s dream was a pipe dream.

  Chapter Nine

  At eight o’clock that night, Joey was still at Cedar’s house, standing by the front window and peering out at the darkness beyond. He had one arm wrapped around Puncho the clown, the toy never far from his side.

  “Joey,” Cedar said, coming up behind him, “you’ve been standing there for nearly a half hour. I know you’re concerned because Uncle Mark isn’t back yet, but when you think about it, he didn’t say what time he thought he would get here. There’s no reason to be worried.”

  “It’s dark already,” Joey said. “Uncle Mark said he’d be back as soon as he could. This isn’t soon, Cedar. It isn’t. Bad stuff can happen when people drive in the dark. Sometimes…sometimes they don’t ever come back because…because they got in an accident and then they’re dead and are gone forever and…I want my Uncle Mark.” He burst into tears.

  Cedar dropped to her knees and turned Joey toward her. He flung his arms around her neck, buried his face in her shoulder and wept.

  Mark Chandler, if you’re at some truck stop on the highway having dinner and shooting the breeze with the good ol’ boys, I’m going to strangle you with my bare hands, Cedar thought.

  “Joey, honey, listen to me,” she said, rubbing his back. “You’re tired because it’s your bedtime. How about a bubble bath for you and Puncho? Then you can sleep in my guest room. Cool, huh?”

  “No,” Joey mumbled, then sniffled. “I’m going to wait right here by the window for Uncle Mark.”

  Cedar sighed. She pulled Joey’s arms gently from her neck and moved him back slightly to look at his tear-streaked face. “All right,” she said. “I’ll stay here with you and Puncho. We’ll watch for Uncle Mark together.”

  “’Kay.”

  Cedar moved two chairs by the window, then opened the curtains that Joey had been pushing aside.

  “Oh, look at the stars,” she said. “They’re like diamonds sparkling in the sky. I don’t see the moon, though. Do you?”

  “No,” Joey said, not shifting his gaze heavenward.

  “Maybe it’s behind a cloud. Hey, Mr. Moon, come out, come out wherever you are. We want to say hello. Joey, why don’t you call to the moon?”

  “No.”

  So much for that, Cedar thought. Oh, yes, Mr. Chandler, when I get you alone, you are going to get a piece of my mind, buster.

  “Cedar, look, look,” Joey said, pointing out the window. “In the driveway. See? Lights. It’s Uncle Mark. It is, Cedar.”

  Before Cedar could stop him, Joey ran across the room and out the front door. She nearly fell over Puncho in her attempt to follow Joey, then regained her footing and hurried after him.

  From the light spilling out the front door she could see Joey fling himself at Mark, who picked him up and carried him toward the house. Joey’s legs were wrapped around Mark’s chest and his arms encircled his uncle’s neck in a tight hold.

  “I’m here, buddy,” Mark said to Joey. “Everything is fine.”

  As Mark entered the house with his armload of little boy, Cedar glared at him, then shut the door.

  “I can explain,” Mark said to Cedar.

  “I’m not the one who is falling apart because you’re so late,” she said stiffly. “I realize you didn’t tell us an approximate time for your return, but it’s after eight o’clock, Mark. In case you’re missing the message, that is a very upset child you’re holding there.” She sat down in an easy chair and crossed her arms beneath her breasts.

  Mark walked to the sofa and sat down, as well. He shifted Joey sideways on his lap, frowning when he saw the tear tracks on Joey’s face.
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br />   “Joey,” Mark said, “listen to me. Okay, buddy? Will you do that much? Hear what I have to say?”

  Joey shrugged and stared at Mark’s shirt.

  “Right,” Mark said wearily. “Well, this is the scoop. I got to the supplier’s place in Tucson and…guess what? After sending the wrong fixtures up here, he sent the ones we should have received to Sierra Vista. That’s a town many miles below Tucson and a heck of a long way from Phoenix.

  “The guy in charge called the truck driver on his cell and told him to turn around and come back with the stuff I needed. I forgot to take my cell with me, by the way. I waited and waited and waited, and the driver didn’t show. So I had the supplier call him again and it turned out the radiator blew on his truck and he was stranded along the highway.

  “So, the boss says for me to sit tight and he’d send another truck to get the fixtures off the broken truck and bring them back to Tucson for me.

  “But, Joey?” Mark said, tilting Joey’s chin up with one finger so their eyes met. “I decided right there on the spot that you were more important than bathroom fixtures. I knew you’d be watching for me and even if I called and said I was going to be way late, you would worry. So, I told the boss of the supply place to get those fixtures to me the minute he could, but I was leaving because I had a special little boy waiting for me to come home.”

  “Really?” Joey said. “You said that?”

  “I did,” Mark said, smiling. “I drove straight here as fast as I could, without breaking the speed-limit laws, of course. I didn’t even stop to eat and I think my stomach caved in because it’s so empty. But, hey, buddy, I love you, and there hasn’t been a bathroom fixture made, or a construction schedule put on paper, that is more important to me than you are. I know that now, Joey. I swear to you that I do. Okay?”

  “Okay,” Joey yelled, and flung his arms around Mark’s neck again.

  Cedar got to her feet as two tears spilled onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry I was so harsh,” she said, dashing the tears away. “Oh, Mark, I…” Love you so much. So very much. “…I’ll fix you a sandwich.”

  Cedar hurried from the room, terrified that her true feelings for Mark Chandler would come tumbling out of her mouth.

  Mark understood now, she thought, as she yanked food out of the refrigerator. Oh, he was going to be such a wonderful father to Joey. During the hours Mark was away, he’d reexamined his priorities and realized that Joey was so much more important than money in the bank for the future. Joey needed him now and Mark knew that.

  Cedar jerked in surprise as she felt Mark’s hands on her shoulders as she stood at the counter constructing his sandwich.

  “Hey,” he said, “why the tears?”

  “I was just very moved by what you said. You understand that Joey…oh, never mind. You don’t need me to tell you what you understand. You’re here and that says it all.”

  Mark turned her to face him.

  “I’m a little slow on the uptake at times, Cedar, but I usually come out of the ether eventually. Let’s just say that I shifted my priorities today. When Joey lost his parents, I lost my sister and I miss her like hell. I need that kiddo to trust me, believe in me. I need him to love me, and I intend to earn that love. I’m his father now and I don’t take that title lightly. Thanks to you and what you’ve been hammering at me, I finally woke up.”

  Cedar nodded, unable to speak as fresh tears misted her eyes.

  “And, Cedar?” Mark said, his voice husky with emotion. “I need you, too.” And I love you so damn much. “I really do.”

  He kissed her deeply, delving his tongue into the sweet darkness of her mouth as her fingers inched into his hair.

  The kiss was heat. Passions soaring to greet the sparkling diamond stars in the sky and nudge the moon from its hiding place.

  The kiss was words. Declarations of irrevocable love tucked in secret chambers of hearts, afraid to be spoken.

  The kiss was theirs. And they savored every wondrous, sensuous second of it.

  “Yes!” Joey yelled, causing them to step quickly away from each other.

  Acutely aware of his arousal, Mark looked over his shoulder at Joey rather than turn to face him. Joey had pulled Puncho into the kitchen and gave the clown a smothering hug.

  “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Joey hollered, punching his fists in the air. “You’re doing the kissing stuff. That means you’re gonna do the loving stuff, and you can do the getting married stuff, and Cedar can live with us just like I said and—”

  “Oh, good Lord,” Cedar whispered.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Mark said, finally able to turn and stride across the room to Joey. “Hold it, Joey. Hey, isn’t that the clown from Cedar’s office? Wait, forget that part and listen to me, buddy. Just because a man and woman kiss each other doesn’t mean—”

  “Yes!” Joey said, jumping up and down.

  Mark placed a hand on Joey’s head to stop his imitation of a pogo stick.

  “That’s better,” Mark said, keeping his hand on Joey’s head. “Now. Listen. Just because a man and woman kiss each other, it doesn’t mean they are in love.”

  “Yes, it does,” Joey said, folding his arms over his chest. “My mom and dad kissed bunches of times and they loved each other and were married for years and years before they…before they became angels. So I know about this stuff. You love Cedar.”

  Got it in one, sport, Mark thought, dropping his hand from Joey’s head. But the lady isn’t interested in love and marriage, so…

  “Cedar can live with us now, Uncle Mark,” Joey said. “Right?”

  “Wrong,” Mark said. “Cedar is going to buy a different house for her and Oreo. She’s going to live there and we’re going to live…where we live. End of story.”

  Ends of stories could be rewritten, Cedar thought, staring at the scene before her. She blinked and shook her head. Finish making the man’s sandwich, for Pete’s sake, because his stomach is caving in. She spun around and began to slap whatever she could find on onto the bread. Now, knock off the daydreaming nonsense—again—and slap some mustard on this mess.

  “Just because you’re a grown-up,” Joey said, “doesn’t mean you’re right all the time, Uncle Mark.”

  “Um, Cedar?” Mark said, commanding her attention. “Could you help me out here?”

  Cedar sighed. She carried a plate with Mark’s sandwich, as well as a glass of milk to the table. “Mark, sit down and get this food into your caved-in stomach,” she said.

  “Joey, you’re absolutely correct in saying that grown-ups are not right all the time just because they’re adults. However, there are some things that you have to be a grown-up to really understand. Love between a man and woman, the getting-married kind of love, is one of those things.”

  “But…” Joey started.

  “No, honey,” Cedar continued, “we’re not going to discuss this further tonight. It’s past your bedtime and you’re very tired. Your Uncle Mark is going to eat his sandwich, then take you and Puncho home and tuck you into bed.” She smiled. “Although I think it would be best to have Puncho stand next to your bed, not actually try to share it with you.”

  Joey laughed. “He’d take up all the space in my bed and he doesn’t even have any jammies.”

  “That’s true,” Cedar said, then looked at Mark. “By the way, Mark, this Puncho is Joey’s to keep forever. We went to the mall today and got him.”

  “Cool,” Mark said. “Thanks for the rescue, too.”

  “What rescue?” Joey said.

  “Figure of speech,” Mark said, then took a bite of his sandwich. He lifted the edge of the top piece of bread and peered under it. “Interesting.”

  “Oh?” Cedar said, raising one eyebrow.

  “But delicious,” Mark said quickly. “Great sandwich. Top-notch. Best sandwich I’ve had…all day. Thank you very much for fixing it for me.”

  Joey yawned.

  “Come on, my sleepy friend,” Cedar said, extending a hand toward the littl
e boy. “You can stretch out on the bed in my guest room while Uncle Mark eats his fantastic sandwich and has some cookies or something for dessert.”

  “’Kay,” Joey said. Yawning again, he wrapped an arm around Puncho’s neck and dragged the clown with them as they left the kitchen.

  In the guest room, Cedar removed Joey’s shoes, watched as he settled onto the bed, then covered him with an afghan she’d taken from the closet shelf. Joey fiddled with Puncho until the toy was exactly where he wanted it in relation to the bed.

  “Close those great big dark eyes of yours,” Cedar said, smiling. “Uncle Mark will carry you when he’s ready to leave and you won’t even have to wake up.”

  “Make sure Uncle Mark brings Puncho, too.”

  “I certainly will,” Cedar said, then leaned over and kissed Joey on the forehead. She lingered there for a moment, inhaling his little-boy aroma. “Good night, Joey. I…”

  Oh, I love you so much, Joey. And I love your Uncle Mark, too. But you were right. Just because I’m a grown-up doesn’t mean I’m always right. And falling in love with Mark was really, really dumb.

  “I enjoyed having you with me today,” she finished.

  “Yeah,” Joey said, then his dark lashes drifted down.

  Cedar gazed at him for another long moment, then patted Puncho on the head and left the room, closing the door halfway.

  She returned to the kitchen and sat down opposite Mark at the table as he picked up the second half of his sandwich.

  “You really are a great shrinky-dink,” Mark said, smiling slightly. “You defused an uncomfortable situation like the pro you are. Do you think he’ll nail me again, though? You know, about you living with us because we kissed and, according to Joey, we are in love and can get married now?”

  “I have no idea,” Cedar said, plunking an elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm. “He might, because he obviously wants the same kind of family unit that he had before. That’s not unusual under the circumstances. He’s like many of the children of divorce that I counsel. They hold on to the hope that their parents will get back together. Kids like and need consistency in their lives. Joey’s world, as he knew it, was shattered and he’s attempting to put it back together the way he wants it to be. He needs time and patience.”