“Baby girl, that doesn’t mean anything.”
“It says Hawking, Martha. How many people do you know with that name?”
She shifts on her feet. “Why does this have you so riled up, Tessa? It’s been years, baby.”
“She was moaning his name, Martha.”
“Tessa.”
“She has the club’s initials on her wrist. The same lettering that the president’s wife had. I know it’s her, Martha.”
“Again, why does this have you so riled up?”
“Because I know her leaving destroyed the heart of a boy that I cared very much about.”
“And now you think he needs to know?”
Biting my lip I give her a tight nod.
“Are you willing to dance with the demons of your past to give this news to him? You’re asking for trouble, Tessa, and I’m not even talking about the policies in patient privacy that you’re going to be breaking. This trouble is going to be way more than that. More than you might be able to handle.”
“My gut is telling me to do something.”
“Let me tell you something that you may not know.” She brings her hand up, signaling for me to come to her. When I reach her, she takes my hands in hers. “A woman’s intuition is the only thing she can rely on in life, Tessa. If you’ve got something telling you that you need to do something about this situation, then do it. Your gut will never lead you on the wrong path. You need to listen to it. Always.”
She’s right. Now I need to find the courage to make that call and hear a voice I never planned on hearing again.
Tessa
Seven years ago I ran from New Mexico.
The moment I woke up in that hospital bed and realized what happened I knew that I needed to leave. The town where I was born and raised had turned into a place that didn’t feel safe. I would no longer be able to walk down the streets of Las Cruces without continually looking over my shoulder because the protection I had growing up with Sienna died right along with her. I was on my own, so I did the only thing I could think of.
I left.
The distance I put between Las Cruces and myself did nothing to ease the terror I felt every time I closed my eyes at night. The replay of the attack, the feel of their hands on my skin, grew stronger with every nightmare. Years of counseling, of convincing me that I was stronger than the dreams, only did so much. But every time I thought of the good that came out of the horror, I knew that I would survive. Now, as I look at my phone, at a number that I never thought I’d dial again.
“Hello.” Her voice still sounds the same which makes me smile.
Clearing my throat, I speak, “Bianca?”
The line remains silent, and I’m afraid that I’ve called the wrong number. Why would I think that after seven years this number would work? “Tessa? Tessa, mija, is that you?”
I choke out a sob. “Yeah, Bianca, it’s me. Tessa.”
“Oh Dios mío, oh my God,” she cries into the phone which only brings more tears to my eyes. “Tessa, where have you been? Oh, my girl. How are you?”
“I’m good, Bianca.”
“You aren’t good, mija. You aren’t home, so you aren’t good,” she says matter-of-factly.
“That’s not my home anymore, Bianca.”
“Estas loca, you’re crazy. Of course, this is your home. Your familia is here. Your brothers. Me.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks because she’s right. “Bianca… Um, I’m cal–I’m calling because I think I’ve found Hawk’s mom.”
“Que, what? You’ve seen Rose? Where, mija? Where have you seen her? Veintidós años que esa mujer se fue, twenty-two years that woman has been gone.”
“She’s in a facility that I work at here in Los Angeles—the New Hope Rehabilitation Center. She’s very sick. I–I heard that it’s the result of alcohol abuse. She has his name on her chest.” I realize I’m rambling.
“Aye, mija.”
“The same initials you have on your wrist, they’re on hers too,” I tell her.
“The brand of an old lady. Yes, she has the same as me.”
“I don’t know what to do. But I had to tell someone.”
“And you chose me and not Hawking? Surely you know he’d like to hear this news? That poor boy, all these years he’s been broken, not whole because he’s always felt not good enough for love.”
“He’s had to have found someone by now, Bianca.”
“No one worth anything. The Fallen keep him busy, but his heart is still so empty.”
Her words hurt. The idea of Hawk sleeping with all those women makes me feel nauseous. Why would I think that way? Hawk and I were never anything really. One night. We had one night, and I know he participated out of pity, why else would he…
“Why are you in the corner? No one puts Tessa in the corner.” Hawk gives me his famous smirk as he approaches, taking a seat next to me. Hawking looks good in a grey suit with a crisp white shirt under his jacket instead of his standard outfit of jeans, boots, and MC T-shirt. It’s pretty sad that out of everyone in this school, he’s the only one who has given me any attention since the moment I stepped foot in this place.
I sigh and roll my eyes. “I’ve got nothing better to do,” I say as I throw the cloth napkin on the table. This is our senior year, and I’m supposed to be making memories, but the only thing I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself. I never should have agreed to come. Not when Sienna didn’t want to. I should have listened to her and stayed with her to watch movies, but my mother insisted. I would have had a better time lying on my stomach at home, eating a gallon of ice cream.
“Where’s your date?” I ask.
He throws his head back and laughs while he pats his stomach. “You know better than that, Tessa. No girl can tame me.”
I roll my eyes because I know he’s right. Hawking Gentry, A.K.A. Hawk, is one of the unattainable. He’s the one guy in school who all the girls drool over, including me. His personality along with his trademark ice blue eyes has always gotten him whatever he’s wanted; passing grades in school, excused absences when he was up to no good and into the bed of any girl willing to give it up.
“I didn’t think stag was your style.”
He scoots his chair closer, making sure to lean into me. His arms casually rest on his knees, but his eyes seem dead serious. “What if I told you I only came for one reason?”
I copy his movement and scoot closer to him like we’re sharing a big secret. This is the most action I’ve had all night. “Oh yeah, what’s that?” I ask with a smile.
He drags his gaze towards my breasts, and I wonder if he can see down my dress. My first instinct is to pull it up, but I force my arms to stay where they are.
“I’m here for you.”
I sit up. “Wh–what?”
He leans back in his chair. “I’m here to make sure you’ll always remember tonight.”
“And how are you supposed to do that, Hawking?”
He pulls himself up and lays his hand, palms up, on my thigh. “Do you trust me?”
My eyes sweep across the gymnasium to find my date. Clint is grinding into the backside of his ex-girlfriend. His fingers are digging into her hips with nothing but lust on his face. I look down at the hand he’s offering. Taking a deep breath, I swallow, trying to find the courage. I lift my gaze to him, and that’s when I know. I trust him. Of course, I trust him. It’s stupid of me to even question it.
“Yes.” I place my hand in his, and his fingers instantly circle around mine.
“Good.”
He stands, pulling me up with him and takes a step toward my date. Confused, I stumble slightly trying to catch up as Hawk all but drags me to the group of dancing kids.
“Hey, fuck face,” he calls out over the music.
When Clint turns his head and sees me standing there, his eyes grow wide. “Tessa,” he says, taking a step back from the girl he’s been dry humping.
“Just letting you know,” Hawk says as he takes a
step in front of me, blocking Clint’s view. “I’m taking her home.” He squeezes my hand. “She’s far too good for the likes of your punk ass.” When I look around, I see the majority of the gym has stopped what they’re doing and are watching us. “You’d rather have your hands on that piece of ass while you’ve got my girl in the corner? You’re pathetic.”
“Yeah well, at least I know that I’ll be getting laid tonight,” Clint fires back. “She won’t put out for anyone.”
“Wrong, douchebag.” He takes a step towards Clint. “She won’t put out for you. It’s called having standards.” He jabs a finger into his chest. “I gave you a chance to prove your worth, and you fucking failed–miserably.”
Without another word, Hawk pulls me from the crowd, low murmurs run rapid as we exit the gym. As soon as the door clicks behind us, I pull my hand from his grip and throw my arms around him. “Thank you,” I say with my face nestled in the crook of his neck. “Thank you for standing up for me.”
“Always, Tessa. Always.” He tightens his hold around my body.
“I can’t believe he did that to me. Why did he even ask me?”
“He’s a total ass gasket, Tessa. He always has been. You have no idea how hard it was not to say anything to you when I found out that you were coming here with him.”
I pull away and search his eyes, hoping to see some trace of interest. “It bothered you?”
“Why did I tell you I came, Tessa? For you. You’re mine, girl.”
I pull completely away from him and cross my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling a tad bit too cold. “I’m not yours, Hawking.”
“Come on, Tessa. I’ve seen the way you look at me. I see the jealousy in your eyes every time I’m with another chick. Don’t lie to me. We’ve known each other far too long for you to start pulling that shit.” He takes a step closer, pulling my arm from my body and stepping into my space. He tilts his head down and lifts my chin, so I meet his gaze.
“Do you trust me?” he asks again, but I don’t want to answer. My heart is pounding in my chest. The adrenaline is spiking through my blood, and I can feel my body start to shake. “You know you do,” he answers for me. “You know I only speak the truth, and you know that you and I are going to happen. Tonight...”
“Mija, did you hear me?” Bianca’s voice pulls me from the past, from the night I gave so much more than my heart to Hawk.
“I’m sorry…”
“Never mind, mija, never mind. I know what I need to do.”
She doesn’t say anything more, ending the call without a goodbye. It’s then I know that Martha was right, and, by one phone call, I’ve invited the demons of my past to invade my present.
Hawk
Taking the towel in my hand, I squat down, bringing it to the chrome of my wheels and wipe the water away. Nothing that I hate more than seeing water spots on my chrome. I don’t care if it’s on my bike or my truck, that shit digs at me.
“You almost ready to go, kid?”
I look over my shoulder and see Lick standing on the steps of the clubhouse. “Why the fuck do you insist on calling me, kid?”
“Because you look like a child trying to be a man.” Lick barks back lifting his middle finger in the air.
“I’ll show you a man. I bet one-hundy that my cock is bigger than yours.”
“Fuck, boy. I’ve seen your feet. There ain’t no way in hell that you’re dragging any more than five inches with you. Hard.”
I don’t respond which makes him laugh. If I’ve learned one thing since Lick has been around, it’s that you can’t egg that fucker on. Believe me, I give it to him when I feel it’s appropriate, but I know I always gotta be ready for his comebacks because he still has them, in spades.
“Hurry the fuck up. I got better shit to do than playing car driver.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you do, and she’s shaking her ass and bouncing her tits over in the shop at this very moment.”
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” he grumbles.
I laugh to myself as I continue to wipe down my truck. Jenni, Savannah’s friend and Lick have been playing all sorts of games since she showed up here weeks ago. She’s a cute little thing, spunky and full of attitude. That girl can hold her own, and she needs to have that gusto if she plans on dealing with Lick and all his hang-ups.
“Let me take one last pass over the truck,” I say over the shoulder again. He nods in approval and retreats back through the door.
We’re supposed to be meeting Sin and Savannah at the dealership because Daddy Sin thinks it’s time to buy a family car. That man has done a complete one-eighty in the past few months. All the years I’ve known him, I never would have thought he’d be the one to settle down first. It’s fucking crazy what love will do to a man.
The crunching of gravel has me shooting to my feet. Things have been hectic around here since that crazy fucker Tyson, Savannah’s ex, thought it would be fun to fuck with her. He believes he has rights to her because technically it’s his baby that she’s carrying, but you tell that to Sin, and he’s likely to slit your throat for even having that thought.
When I step around my truck, my heart slows—Bianca’s approaching. That woman has lost more than any one person should lose, and she still holds her head high–proud of the life she’s lived. Proud to have been an old lady to a man who was killed protecting what was his. Not many women are cut out for this sort of lifestyle. Look at Rose—the first chance she got, she dashed the fuck out of here. Leaving me, her son, in the dust. My dad never got over that shit. I never got over it either.
“Mijo.” Bianca steps towards me with timid steps and my stomach knots on the spot. Something isn’t right. In fact, something seems to be very wrong.
“Bianca.” I take a step towards her, my heart beating against my chest. “What’s wrong?” Scenarios start racing through my mind, the first being Sin and Savannah. I pull my phone out and glance down at the screen. There isn’t anything from him or Cut or any of the other guys for that matter.
“Hawking.” She twists her hands together, refusing to make eye contact with me. “I received a phone call and um… It was about your mother.”
“Rose?” I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. That was the last thing I was expecting.
“Tessa was the one that actually called me.”
My world feels as though it tilts hearing her name. “Tessa, as in Tessa Reese?”
Her brows draw together as she nods. “Your mother–”
“No! She’s not my mother.”
“Hawking, mijo, please,” she begs. “Listen to me.” I can feel my stare harden and I know she sees it too. Taking a step towards me, she reaches out, but I take a step back. “Tessa, she’s working in a facility in Los Angeles–”
“Tessa’s been in Los Angeles all these years?”
“I’m not sure, mijo. I only know that she’s there now and she saw your mother. Your mother is sick, son. Tessa wanted you to know. I know where Rose is.”
“I don’t care.”
“Mijo, don’t say that.”
“Hey, fucker!” I turn as Lick comes bounding down the stairs. “We’ve gotta go. Time’s a-tickin’.”
I hold up my hand, letting him know I got it. When he hops into my truck, I turn back towards Bianca. “Mama B, you know I love you. You’ve raised me when that woman chose to leave me in the night. I grew up in a club of bikers, and whores. I’ve seen more death and destruction in my short twenty-eight years than most people see in their entire life. I blame that on her. She could have taken me with her. She could have chosen a better life for me, but she didn’t. She left me with a father who had no clue how to raise a kid. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be dead or strung out on drugs. She turned her back on me. Now it’s my turn to return the deed.”
“Hawking Gentry,” she growled, but I ignore her.
Taking two strides to her, I brush my lips against her cheek and turn to take care of business. And
that business is watching my best friend trade his bike in for a fucking minivan.
Hawk
The sun shines against the wisps of clouds in the pale blue sky. The tires of my truck howl against the pavement as we make our way to Sin.
To say that Bianca shocked the shit out of me would be putting it mildly. It wasn’t just about my mom, it was also about Tessa. That girl has always been my kryptonite, my weakness. Even when no one knew, she always had my heart, my love. Her smile gave me strength when I wanted nothing more than to give up. Club life is hard as a grown ass man, but it was torture as a kid. Her friendship meant so much to me–so much, so I always tried to keep my distance–well except for that one night. I knew she deserved more of a life than what I could provide her. She wasn’t meant to be attached to a man like me. Not that she couldn’t handle the lifestyle, no, that girl had bigger balls than most of the guys we hung out with. She was steel covered in the softest fucking flesh I ever had the pleasure of feeling. She was never intimidated by Sin or Cut. Bubba was never able to ruffle her feathers and, more than anything, she never cowered down to Lick and his moodiness.
I reach for the dial on the radio to turn the music down so that it’s barely a hum and Lick groans. “What the fuck, dickhead? That song is sweet as shit.”
“Do you ever have regrets?” I ask knowing full well that it’s likely he won’t answer.
“Everyone has regrets. We live life, look back and think of all the things we could have done differently, and then we die. End of.”
I grip the wheel, making the knuckles turn white. “So you’re saying you do have regrets.”
“Fuck yeah I have regrets. The most recent is getting in this fucking cab with you. I didn’t know I was signing up for this shit. In case you didn’t know, I have a fucking dick between my legs and not a pussy. My meaning is that I don’t fucking share my feelings. You’re chatting up the wrong tree, kid.”
I should have known better. In all the years I’ve never been able to hold a conversation with this guy. Why the hell would I think anything has changed?
Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3 Page 4