I pull into the open car lot and see Bianca’s car parked in an empty row, so I pull up next to it. “Where the fuck are they?” Lick asks as he pulls the handle to my door, letting himself out.
Dropping to the asphalt, I see Sin and Savannah standing next to a smaller SUV. I point my finger to where they are and make my way over there.
“What did you get yourself?” Lick asks as we approach them. “Got yourself a pussy wagon, didn’t you?”
“Fuck you,” Sin tells him as he bumps his shoulder to Lick’s. “It’s a midsize SUV, not a fucking pussy wagon.”
“I have to admit, man,” I cut in, “I was totally picturing a minivan.”
“Jesus you two,” Savannah scolds us, “I’m carrying one child, not an entire soccer team.”
“We’re not saying you are, sweetheart, but Lord knows that man is going to have you knocked up before the first ones off the tit,” Lick jokes.
“What do you have planned after all this?” I ask Sin. Savannah is waiting in the service area as they give the car one more go through, and Lick has taken Bianca’s car back.
“What do you mean?”
The guy has been like a fucking flip-a-roo when it comes to Savannah and this baby. On the one hand he wants to do right by her, and on the other hand, he thinks if she sticks around he’s only going to bring her and that baby a life of misery. Sin has had a lifetime of demons nipping at his heels, and falling in love has only made them stronger.
I guess it’s time to state the obvious.
“Well,” I say, “you’ve got the girl and the soon to be baby, but you can’t think you guys are going to continue to live in your room. That’s not gonna work, and there’s no way in hell Tyson is going to allow his child to live in a biker club.”
Sin physically stiffens when I mention that fucker’s name, but shit has got to be said and being his best friend, I think I’m the one to say it.
“Well, first off, Redding ain’t got shit to do with the baby—not now and not ever. I don’t give a shit if my DNA isn’t running through her little veins. She’s mine, through and through, and that fucker better not step foot into their line of sight for the remainder of his miserable life.”
“All right, I got you on that.”
“As for the living arrangements? I’m going to talk to my brother about that. The club isn’t as big as it used to be. Those houses are sitting empty, and I think it’s time to bring life back into them, into the club, starting with him and his wife.”
There ain’t no way Cut is going to make that happen while a certain someone is still breathing. “You think he’ll bring Lily into the fold?”
“I think he will once he gets out of his own head about the dangers of what the past might bring to the present. Once Louie Sr. isn’t walking God’s green earth, my brother is going to feel better about a whole lot.”
“True that,” I agree. “Hey, man…” I look down at my Chucks because this next part ain’t going to be easy. “I need to take some time away. It’s my mom.”
It’s more than that. But that’s information Sin doesn’t need to know right now. We still don’t know what exactly went down when Sienna was taken. For years we heard that they took Sienna by force while Tessa watched. I know bringing Tessa’s name up is only going to send Sin back to a place where he blames himself for the death of his sister–and that’s a place I’d rather not throw my best friend.
“No shit? When do you leave?”
He doesn’t ask any more questions, and to that, I’m thankful.
Hawk
Past
As soon as I step into the sterile room, the constant beeping of machines invades my ears. Taking tentative steps, I reach her. The only thing that I recognize about the person lying in the hospital bed is the dark brown hair that’s matted to her head. Fury burns in my veins as I take in her condition. Her neck is secured in a brace along with her left wrist. Her face is purple and swollen. The right eye seems to be sunken in, and her lips are crusted with blood.
When word got back to the club that Sienna had been taken, there was no mention of Tessa. I didn’t think anything of it, which was wrong on my part because it’s a rare occasion that the girls ever did anything apart. My contact at the hospital informed me that witnesses told the police Tessa was physically beaten while Sienna watched. Once those fuckers were done leaving bruises on Tessa’s body, they left her.
It’s been a shitty forty-eight hours since we got word the El Diablo’s got what no one knew they wanted–Sienna. My stomach churns at the thought of what she went through before they took her life. What Devin must have seen right before he was killed–along with my father. I shake those thoughts from my head. He died protecting his Prez, just as it should have been.
Shit’s tense at the clubhouse, and when I got the call that Tessa was lying in a hospital bed, alone, I knew there was no way I couldn’t come. From what I know of the timeline, it took someone six hours to find her body. The entire time I thought she was home safe. I never thought to call. I never thought to go to her house to tell her that her best friend was murdered. I never thought to do shit. A mall employee found Tessa’s almost lifeless body tossed naked behind the dumpsters. Her heartbeat was faint, and the breaths coming from her lungs even more so.
She could have fucking died.
From the looks of it, she’s somewhere in between life and death.
I snatch the chair that’s located near the foot of her bed and set it near her head. As soon as I sit, the coppery aroma of blood invades my senses. Reaching up, I lightly brush away the crimson liquid that’s slowly trickling from her nose. I smear it across the top of her lip, only making more of a mess, so I turn and find a box of tissue.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I dab the tissue at her skin. “You shouldn’t have to endure this. This never should have happened.”
I toss the used tissue into the trash can by the door. When I find out who’s responsible, I’m going to make them wish they were never born. I’m going to rip them limb from limb and shit down their fucking throat. They think they can do this to someone I care about? They’ve got another thing coming.
The evils of the club weren’t supposed to touch her. That’s the reason why, even though I wanted to do the opposite, I’ve kept my distance. All I’ve ever wanted to do since the moment I realized the difference between boys and girls was to claim her as mine. And not the way my father has claimed woman after woman. I’ve only ever wanted her. That one night we shared was never enough. It will never be enough.
My hand trembles as I reach for her hair. I make a fist, turning my knuckles white, trying to get a grip on my emotions. Shaking out my hand, I try to comb through the tangles of her hair with my fingers.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her again, praying that she can at hear me. Years of memories flash through my mind, the sound of her laughing, the brightness of her smile, how she always stood her ground around the guys and me. She’s an angel with wings of steel.
A moan rises from her chest as her lashes start to dance along with her cheeks. Her eyes flutter open, blinking a few times before they once again close. “Shhh,” I say as I gently brush my hand over her hair.
I place my hand over her heart as her chest raises in breaths. When it collapses and then builds again, I hesitantly remove it from her body. She’s alive, though I wouldn’t doubt if the reaper is standing guard at her door right now. She has to survive.
Leaning into her, I push the hair away from her ear. “You’re strong, Tessa.” I rub my hand down her arm. “You’ve got this. Heal, baby. Heal and come back. Come back… to me.” I press a kiss to her temple. Making a vow right then that her being by my side is the only way she’ll live her life. I’ve kept my distance, for years now, I’ve held her at arm’s length, but no more.
No. Fucking. More.
Hawk
My shoulders burn, and my ass is numb. Seven hundred sixty-one miles and ten hours have come and gone. I slept like shit la
st night after Bianca told me. It took everything in me not to hop in my truck and head west the moment I told Sin what I was planning–but I waited. I gave myself an entire day to get in the right mind frame of what I might see when I get there. It’s not going to be a happy reunion between mother and son. I have a lot of warranted anger when it comes to that woman. I know I told Bianca that I didn’t give a shit about what Rose was going through. I was lying to myself, I cared. It isn’t just about Rose, either and I think that’s the real reason why Bianca told me. It was because of who gave her the information.
Tessa.
The smog-filled air of Los Angeles makes the sunrise more hazy than bright. The morning is supposed to represent a new day. The start of something fresh, but the dinginess of the sky doesn’t say new any more than it gives me any promises that today is going to be a good day.
I pull off the Ten freeway, I steer my truck down the multilane streets. The buildings are tall, made of brick and concrete, and the early morning chaos seems to be in full force as large delivery trucks unload their shipments. The constant blaring of horns signal the impatience of the morning commuters. I’ve only been in the city for a short time, and I can already see how much different it is than Las Cruces. The sidewalks are full of business suit-clad men and women. Some are yapping away on their phones while others are holding their phones in front of their faces as they continue to rush down the street. My eyes snap to the rear-view mirror when I hear another car horn blare without stopping.
This city sucks.
I turn on my blinker and signal so I can make the next right. According to my GPS, the facility my mother is supposedly staying in should be five miles up the road. I slam on my brakes as a car cuts in front of me, making me lay on the horn. The liberating feeling I have when I hit my horn has me rethinking the commuters’ lack of patience. It’s such an asshole thing to do, and I’m kinda digging it.
The GPS tells me that I’ve reached my destination, and I start to regret the trip. Maybe I don’t need to see her. She never made it a point in over twenty years to see me. My father may not have told me if she tried, but I hope that Bianca would have. She, more than anyone else, knows how my mother’s leaving has affected me.
A sizable tan marquee comes into view as I pass yet another tall building. The rehabilitation complex is smaller than the buildings surrounding it. One story compared to the skyscrapers that also occupy this block of businesses. I pass the building and pull into the parking lot, finding the first spot and park.
Cutting the engine, I lean my head back against the headrest. I have no idea what to expect, and that unnerves me. Growing up the way I did, it’s hard for me to go into any situation blind. I was taught to never enter anything that’s uncertain without making it certain. And that’s precisely what I’m doing–going in blind. I should’ve had Dyke do some digging so I could be prepared. Does my mom have loved ones surrounding her? Will she recognize who I am? Will it bother me if she doesn’t? This feeling of nervousness is unfamiliar and unsettling. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I grab the handle and shove my shoulder into the door, opening it. I lean over the driver’s seat and grab my cut from the passenger side. Once the leather is secured over my shoulders, I feel complete.
Time to see mommy dearest.
Hawk
The mid-morning air is warm against my skin as I make my way from the parking lot towards the building. Back home, you can tell it’s almost fall, but here not so much. It feels like summer in mid-September. The full glass doors slide open when I get close to them. As soon as I enter the building the smell of cleaning solution and bleach hit my nose. Staff members in blue scrubs scurry about.
When I reach the front desk, the nurse behind the counter tips her head down and peers at me over her glasses. Her dark brown eyes roll over my body from my hat, down to the leather of cut down to the black fabric of my chucks. She’s not impressed.
“May I help you?”
If I sweeten her up, I might have a better chance of getting to the information I just drove through the night for, so I show her my best smile. “Hey, sweetheart.” I give her a wink.
“Na ah, pretty boy.” She puts up her hand, shaking a finger at me. “Don’t you be using that sweet talk on me.” She shakes her head. “State your business.”
I laugh because it’s not going to be an easy as I thought. I take a step closer and grip the tall counter. “Okay, here’s the deal. I think my mother is here.”
She places both hands on her hips. “You think?”
“Yes.”
“And why is it that you think and that you don’t know? I mean, if my mama were in a facility, God rest her soul, I’d know.”
I really don’t want to get into it with this lady. Biting my lip, I take a look down both hallways, hoping I’ll spot Tessa, but nothing. “All right,” I relent. “I was told that she might be here.”
“Darlin’, I’m going to need more than that. We have lots of mothers in this place, tons of grandmas, too. What’s her name?”
I have no idea what she uses as a last name. I doubt that she still goes by Gentry. “Her first name is Rose.”
Shock flashes in her eyes. “You don’t say? Well, boy, what’s your name?”
I let go of the grip on the counter, rubbing my hand over the smooth surface. “It’s Hawking, Hawking Gentry, but I go by Hawk.”
“My word,” she mumbles under her breath as she shakes her head. “I know who your mama is.”
“You do?”
She nods. “Yes, sir. Maybe if your name was Bill, it might be harder to decipher, but there aren’t too many Hawkings running around and only one woman who mutters that name while she’s sleeping.”
“No shit?”
“No shit. And you’re lucky because Rose’s chart has no restrictions.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that her next of kin hasn’t restricted visitations, so anyone has access.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. Maybe now that I know where she is, I don’t need to actually see her. She’s here. That’s good to know.
“Come on, baby. I’ll walk you back.”
She leaves the front desk, and I watch her go, without movement. Tapping my fingers against the counter my mind races with my options. I can walk out right now. I don’t owe her anything. I’ve put forth more of an effort these past ten hours than she has in twenty plus years.
“Don’t do it, boy. Get those thoughts out of your mind and get to steppin’. Your mama is right down the hall, and she’s waiting.”
Tessa
“Baby girl, I need your help,” Martha says as she rushes towards me.
I lift the mop into the bucket, causing the water to swoosh over the side, but I don’t care. I’m beat, my body aches, and I have to work at the bar tonight, so I know my day is nowhere near being over.
“These damn young people these days,” she complains as she approaches me, “they have no gumption on what it takes to be responsible.” She’s shaking her head. “Always calling in sick. Thinking their union will be there. Thinking they’re unstoppable. Un-fireable–”
“Martha,” I cut her off.
“Yes?”
“What do you need help with? I’m off in twenty, and I can’t stay late tonight. I’m at the bar later.”
“That’s right.” She taps the side of her head. “I forgot. I’m short staffed, can you come with me. It should only take a minute.” She turns back around and continues on her way, knowing full well that I’m going to follow her.
She doesn’t slow until she gets to the door I’m more than familiar with, Rose’s room. Since the day Loa caught me in there, I haven’t stepped foot inside. I don’t need any of the administration giving me trouble, and she seems like the problem starting type. None of that is worth me losing my job.
“Martha. What’s this about?”
“Oh, baby girl, you have no idea,” she says with a smile. She pushes the door open but doesn’t go insid
e. She nods her head to the side wagging her eyebrows. I smile and shake my head. The woman is finally losing her marbles. I take a hesitant step over the threshold, and my heart stops.
Hawking is sitting in a chair next to Rose’s bed, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, watching her sleep. When I feel Martha’s hand squeeze my shoulder, I yelp in surprise, letting him know that he has company.
Turning his head, his eyes widen as he takes me in. “Tessa?” he whispers my name as he slowly gets up. My heart slams against my chest. The boy turned into a young man I once knew has now turned into a man. He still has the same pretty-boy features that I fell in love with all those years ago only now slightly hardened. His face, that he once wore cleanly shaven now has a dusting of facial hair along his jawline and around his mouth. His cap is turned around with the flat bill facing the back. His ears are adorned with small silver gauges.
His eyes study me as if he’s not sure I’m real. He’s to me in three strides, and before I have a chance, I’m in his arms. His hand glides around the nape of my neck, slightly tugging at my hair. All at once I’m hit with the scents of leather, Irish Spring, and…home.
I freeze.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he mumbles. His voice sounds far off under the whooshing of the blood that’s currently pumping through my ears.
When he notices that my body has gone rigid, he pulls away and holds his hands up. His dark eyebrows draw together while his bright blue eyes roam over my face. I take a step away from him.
“Tessa? Hey…” He makes a step towards me, trying to erase the distance that I put between us. When I put up my hands in protest, he stops trying to advance.
I take a shuddering breath and give him a small smile. “Hi, Hawk.”
Hawk
I shouldn’t be shocked.
I knew she was here. I knew there was a chance that I’d run into her. See her. But knowing and actually seeing are entirely two different things. Tessa Reese, the one who literally got away, is standing in front of me. She is still so fucking beautiful, she takes my breath away.
Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3 Page 5