“And who is this handsome man?” Bianca looks over my shoulder towards Sam.
“I’m Sam, and I’m almost seven. In one more month.” He gives his best smile.
Her eyes flit to mine before they go back to my son. “Well, aren’t you just a precious gift. Un Regalo especial.”
Sam laughs. “You talk funny. Some of the kids in my class talked like that.”
“Well, it’s Spanish, and I’ll be happy to teach it to you. My name is Bianca, but you can call me Mama B. All the kids do.”
“There are kids here?”
“Yes, they’re all in the back. They’re all my grandkids, and I’m their Abuela, their grandma.”
Sam’s face is somber as he takes in the information. “I don’t think I have one of those.” He scratches his head.
“Well, you do now.” She smiles and pats him on the shoulder. “Savannah,” Bianca calls “Can you please show Sam where the other kids are?”
“Hi, I’m Savannah.” She gives a little wave. “I’m sorry about Matthew.”
“It’s okay. I understand what he thinks. I know how close he and Sienna were. I know his pain is still there. Mine is too.”
She continues to stare at me. “I’m sorry, but the resemblance between you and Sienna is uncanny.”
I laugh. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone has said that. I guess when you’re both half Hispanic, with brown hair it happens. Her only saving grace was her eye color. She was blessed with Devin’s blue, just like Sin.”
“Do you want to go meet the kids?” she asks Sam. He nods then leans into her.
“He’ll be fine, Tessa. Jenni is outside, and she’ll make sure he’s having a good time.”
“I’m going to get you some water,” Hawk tells me before he heads out the back door, but when it takes him longer than a couple of minutes, I know he’s doing more than finding me something to drink.
Hawk
I leave Tessa with Bianca before she has a chance to object. Sin is acting like a child throwing a tantrum. The screen door squeaks as I push it open and head outside. The wooden steps creek under the weight of my boots as I make my way towards him.
“What’s your issue, man?” I ask as soon as my feet hit the concrete of the back patio. Sin is standing next to Lick who’s watching his niece and nephew in the yard on the swings. Savannah has Grace in her arms and Sam at her side while she introduces him to the kids.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He doesn’t look at me, and it only pisses me off. “Jesus, Sin. You’re acting like a child.”
He turns to face me. “I’m acting like a child? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that you got in contact with Tessa, Hawk? All these months you were supposed to be working shit out with your mom, but instead, you’ve been in LA playing fucking house with a woman who left us at the point in time when we needed her most!”
“Come on, kids. Let’s go out front and let the grown-up man-boys yell it out.” Jenni ushers the kids towards the side gate to the front of the house.
Sin takes a step closer. “And she comes back with a kid. Have you even asked her who he belongs to? Come on, man. Pull your head out of your ass. Remember your loyalty.”
I have no idea where this is coming from, but I don’t take the time to think. Before I know it, I’m throwing a fist and connecting with my best friend’s jaw, catching him completely off guard.
“Holy shit!” Lick howls in laughter next to me. “That was fucking epic, kid. I didn’t know you had the fucking balls to ever do that.”
“Fuck you, Lick,” I tell him as I watch Sin spit a mouthful of blood on the concrete.
“You better tread lightly, Hawk.” Sin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t know who you think you are.”
“Me? Who the fuck do you think you are? Just when I think you’re finally getting your shit together, you start this poor me act. Get over the past, Sin. Move the fuck on. You’ve got more than most people have and you still live in the fucking past.”
“Enough!” Bianca's voice roars over us.
I look around the backyard and see that everyone’s watching us.
“Mama, go back inside.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what to do, Matthew. There is no fighting, not between you two. You’re brothers.”
“Family doesn’t keep things from each other,” Sin spit back.
“I’m sure Hawking has a good reason for not telling you about Tessa and Samuel.”
His eyes narrow in on his mother. “But of course, you knew didn’t you?”
“Si. Tessa called me when she found Rose. I’m the one who told Hawking about both of them.”
“But you didn’t think to let me know?”
“Why did you need to know?” Cut says as he approaches the group from the front of the house.
“She abandoned our sister when she needed her the most.”
“You know that’s not what happened, Sin. Don’t you dare start re-writing the past. Tessa had no hand in what happened to Sienna. You know that. We know who was responsible for her death, Sin and we’ve taken care of that.” Cut defends Tessa.
Sin turns towards me. “Why, after all this time, is she back?”
Before I can answer, the screech of the backdoor and Tessa’s voice breaks through the tension.
“Because I’m sick.”
I turn around and see her standing at the top of the steps. Her face is void of emotion. The words she said aren’t registering. Her eyes are trained on Sin as she continues down the steps. When she reaches Sin, she lifts her chin and straightens her back.
“I have leukemia, and I need Hawk to take my son if anything should happen to me. That’s why I’m back. That’s why I came back to the one place that destroyed me. It took more from me than just my best friend. It ripped Sienna from me, shattered my spirit, and shredded my family so much that they turned their backs on me, leaving me with no one. I ran all those years ago because I had more than her death chasing me. More than you know right now. If you take the time and pull your head out of your ass and ask me what I mean, then I’ll tell you. Until that time comes, grow the hell up.”
She turns her back on Sin, and I watch her go. Before she reaches the steps that lead back to the house, she makes her way towards Dyke and throws her arms around his waist. He closes his eyes and hugs her back. She steps away from him, wipes her eyes, and heads back inside the house.
“Did you know?” Sin asks me.
“No.” my voice breaks so I clear my throat. “I didn’t. We ended things months ago because she didn’t want to move back here, and I couldn’t stay in Los Angeles. This is my home, the club is my family, and it was never an issue of me having to choose between the two.”
“So she came back here because she’s dying? Sin asks.”
“I don’t know.”
“She’s home where she belongs,” Bianca adds.
“But she’s here and not with her family.” Sin’s tone is harsh.
“That is where you’re wrong, mijo.” Bianca looks at me and takes my hand in hers. “She is with her family.”
Hawk
As soon as I make my way into the house, I spot Tessa sitting alone on the couch with her arms wrapped around a pillow. She has her head resting on the back with her eyes closed. She jumps when I place my hands on her thighs after I kneel down in front of her.
“You dropped quite a bombshell back there.”
“I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. It just happened. Funny how after all these years, Sin still riles me up.”
I’m hoping that I’m wrong and she didn’t keep this from me on purpose, so I ask the question that’s burning in my mind. “Did you know all along? The entire time I was in Los Angeles, did you know that you were sick?”
She shakes her head then takes a deep breath. “A few days ago I passed out at the bar. This past month has been stressful. My complex was being sold, and they were making us all vac
ate. I’ve been working extra shifts trying to save little extra money for a deposit on a little apartment I had found. I’ve been feeling off for a couple of weeks, but I thought it was stress. From what I was told, Croy called nine-one-one, and they rushed me to the hospital.” She pulls out the plastic card. “But you knew that, didn’t you? You were there? You came to me.”
I nod.
“Why didn’t you stay?”
“The nurse was going on and on about how Croy was the best boyfriend, and how he was hovering over you the entire time when he wasn’t at home checking on your son. I didn’t want to see him. I couldn’t see him with you. So I went there, saw you, and left.”
She gives me a slight nod and wipes the tears from her eyes. “My blood work came back abnormal, and after further testing, they told me it’s cancer. I don’t know any more details. I’m supposed to make an appointment with a primary doctor, one that I don’t have since I normally go to the local clinic. They want me to start seeing an oncologist as well. They’re calling it secondary cancer since I had it when I was born.” She takes another breath. “This is the last place I want to be, you know that, but this is the only place I can be. I know I have a few people in Los Angeles who can help. Croy told me he would, but that isn’t fair to him. He wasn’t who I wanted.”
“You made the right choice, Tessa.” I smile. “You know that I’ll do anything you need me to.”
She closes her eyes, and I watch as the tears start to fall. I brush the tears away with my thumb, and she leans into my touch. “I should have come with you when you asked. I should have faced this place before I became too weak to fight past the nightmares that being here will bring up.”
“You aren’t alone in this battle, Tessa. You aren’t alone anymore.”
She places her hand on mine, squeezing it. I keep my eyes on her when I hear the front door opening and heavy boots hit the wood floors.
“Everyone in the back?” Cruise asks.
Tessa blinks her eyes open, and her body goes stiff. The light squeeze she had on my hand seconds ago turns into her nails digging into my skin. She starts to shake as she continues to look over my shoulder.
“Oh my God,” she whispers before she’s pushing me out of the way, making me fall to my ass as she tries to scramble from the couch.
Tessa
Three hours is all it took for me to come face to face with my past. Those blue eyes are the same ones that haunt my dreams at night. He stood there and watched as those men took from me. His jaw might have been clenched along with the fists he kept at his sides, but he still stood there, silent as his friends raped me.
No, I will never forget those eyes.
And by the whitening of his face, he hasn’t forgotten me either.
I scramble, trying to find my footing so I can get the hell out of this house. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have called Bianca. I should have taken Croy’s advice and stayed in LA while I fought whatever this is that I need to fight.
“Tessa?” Hawk wraps his arms around my waist, stopping me from going anywhere.
“No…No. Let me go. Please,” I beg as I try to pull his arms from my body. I kick the air as he lifts me from the ground. When his body starts to turn, a wail breaks from my chest. I can’t face him. I can’t see the man who did nothing.
“Sweetheart calm down. Please. Tell me what’s going on.”
As soon as my feet hit the floor, I turn my body into his and hold on to him for dear life. “What the fuck man?” he asks, but I don’t hear an answer.
“It’s him,” I whisper.
“Tessa, you’ve got to tell me what’s going on, so I can help you.”
“Um, I’m just gonna head to the back.”
My body stiffens in Hawk’s arm as soon as I hear his voice.
“Tessa?”
“Please make him go away.”
“Wha–” Realization must hit him because I can instantly feel his body go rigid. “Cruise, hold up.” The retreating footsteps stop.
I whimper. I can’t believe Hawk is keeping him here.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Hawk.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you think, man.”
I hear the familiar sound of the back door opening and closing then boots making their way to the living room. “What’s this?” Sin asks.
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Tessa completely freaked out when Cruise came into the room. Now I’m trying to figure out why.” I dig my nose into the crook of his neck. I need to lose myself in him. I need to disappear, so I don’t have to face this.
“Tessa?” Sin’s voice is steady. “Can you look at me?”
I shake my head.
“Tessa, we need to know what’s going on.”
“She ain’t gonna tell you,” Cruise says.
“H–he was there.”
“What are you talking about, Tessa?” Sin asks. “Who was there? You need to tell us what’s going on.”
“Oh for fuck's sake.”
I jump, and Hawk’s arms tighten around my body.
“She’s saying that I was there.”
“You were where?” Sin asks as I shake my head, not wanting to hear the words that I know is true.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” I hear Tylan’s voice.
There are too many people here. I’m starting to feel the beginning of a panic attack. The back door opens and closes again.
“Sin?”
That’s Cut’s voice. I know logically, I’m safe. He wasn’t one of the ones who hurt me then, and there’s no way he’ll be able to hurt me now.
“What the hell is wrong with Tessa? She ain’t feeling well?”
“She was spooked by Cruise,” Hawk explains.
I turn my head to watch Lick. “Of course, Cruise is scaring her.” He strides towards Cruise and moves behind him, wrapping his arms about his neck, putting him in a chokehold. “That’s his fucking MO.” Cruise fights against Tylan’s hold. “Listen you dip shit, she ain’t interested. You need to lay the fuck off trying to encroach on our women. It’s getting fucking old.”
“I wasn’t fucking with her. I just came into the fucking house, and she freaked out.”
“Why?”
The room falls silent.
“Fuck!” Cruise growls. “She freaked out because I was there.”
“You said that before,” Sin says.
“Oh fuck,” Hawk whispers under his breath.
Before I know what’s happening, I’m no longer in his arms. My knees collapse from underneath me, but before I hit the ground, two arms catch me. Matthew.
“You were there?” Hawk spits. Behind blurry eyes I watch Hawk come chest to chest with Cruise. “You were fucking there?” His voice gets louder. He pushes on Cruise’s chest.
I pull at the fabric of Matthew’s shirt as his arms tighten around me.
“Tell me that you weren’t.” Hawk pushes Cruise again. “Tell me you didn’t touch her. Didn’t hurt her.” He shakes his head no but doesn’t say a thing. “I want to hear it. Tell me.”
“I didn’t touch her.”
“But you were there, weren’t you?” Hawk grips Cruise’s shirt in his fist.
“I was there,” he confesses, and a sob breaks my chest. “I was there when the Diablos raped her.”
Hawk
“Fuck!” Sin yells from behind me, and I instantly drop my hand from Cruise’s shirt. When I turn I see Tessa passed out in his arms.
“God damn it! Take her to Sienna’s room,” Cut barks as I follow Sin down the hall. “I’ll go get mama.”
“This is some fucked up shit,” Lick says as he watches Sin lay her on the bed. I brush the hair from her face and grab a blanket from the foot of the bed and cover her with it.
Sin steps back and crosses his arms over his chest. “Is that the reason why she left?”
I nod.
“How bad was it?”
“Fucking bad.”
My answer makes
Sin curse under his breath. “And Sam?” He gives me a side glance.
“The result.”
“Fucking Hell.”
“He’s a good kid, Sin. I don’t want him tainted by any of this.”
“And you think him being here is the best thing? Being raised in an MC? This club has taken so much from us, and her.”
“It’s given us a lot too. You need to remember that.”
“Matthew?” Bianca comes into the room. Concern etched on her face. “Oh mija.” She rushes over and sits on the bed next to Tessa.
I tap Sin on the shoulder and leave Bianca to tend to Tessa. As soon as we enter the living room Cut looks our way,
“Jury. Now.”
He heads straight for the front door with the rest of us following.
Hawk
Jury is the last fucking place I want to be right now, especially with Cruise, so God damned close to me.
“Explain!” Cut demands.
I watch Cruise on the other side of the room as he grips the back of his neck. “I was new in town. Met up with a few guys, they ended up being Diablos. I didn’t know shit about MCs back then. All I knew was that they seemed to have an endless supply of drugs and pussy, and I was at a point in my life where all I wanted was those two things. I was fucking lost, man and I needed an escape.”
“So they were looking to patch you in?” Cut asks.
“I don’t know. It didn’t last that long. I met up with them only a few days before all that shit went down.”
“You were there when Sienna was taken?”
“No, I wasn’t. Me and this guy walked up as soon as the van drove away. He told me I didn’t see anything and to keep my mouth shut. I was so caught off guard with what they were doing to the girl that I forgot about the van pulling away.”
“So you stood there like a fucking coward and watched a group of guys rape a young woman?” I ask.
“Listen, I know what I did was wrong, but I was fucking young, man. I had my own run-in with the law, and I didn’t want to do anything to draw attention.”
Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3 Page 24