“The place? You’re right. This isn’t the place for either of them to try to take control over Tessa, not when they haven’t had a thing to do with her for over seven years.”
“Not to be a dick or anything, but you’re probably the last one in this room which has a say in what happens to her since you technically aren’t her father or any blood relation,” Cut says.
His nostrils flare. “Listen here you a little piece–”
Both Brass and Cut stand up from their seats. Cut steps towards Frank, only about a foot from the man. “Let’s get one thing straight,” Cut speaks up. “Tessa is more Sinclair than she’ll ever be a Reese, and that means that she’s family. My family. She’s my sister, and I’ll be damned if I let you or anyone else tell me that I’m not needed. You have no say in who comes and goes from this room, not while Tessa is lying in that room fighting for her life. No fucking way.”
His eyes flash in anger. “Blood or not, she’s my daughter. It’s my name that’s on her birth certificate. You don’t get to push your weight around in here. This isn’t a biker bar.”
“Enough,” Bianca growls. “Tessa isn’t a child. We’re all here to support her. It doesn’t matter who hasn’t or has been in her life. We’re all here now, and we’ll continue to be here until she says otherwise.”
“Hawking Gentry?”
My name gets called making me step away from the argument. “That’s me.”
“Miss Reese is asking for you.”
I follow her towards Tessa’s room.
“You okay?” She asks when she see me enter. Her voice is husky like she just woke up.
I grab a chair and set it next to her bed. When I sit, I grab her hand in mine. “Yeah, just remembering the last time I saw you in a bed like this.”
“I’m scared, Hawk.”
I’m fucking scared too, but I don’t want her to see that. Not when she needs me to carry her worry. “Everything is going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.”
“Sam. I need you to take care of Sam. I don’t want my mother to get him. He doesn’t know–”
“Tessa.” I pull her chin towards me. “Listen to me. You’re going to be fine. Sam isn’t going to lose you, so you don’t need to worry that Gloria is going to get her claws into him.” I wipe the tears from her cheeks. “You can’t let this consume you. You have too much to live for.” I lean into her and place a kiss on her forehead.
She reaches out and wraps her arm around my neck. “I love you, Hawking Gentry.” The warmth of her breath sends chills through my body. “Please know that.” She sniffs, and it breaks my fucking heart that there is nothing I can do to protect her from this pain.
“I love you too, Tessa. More than you know.” I kiss her temple then stand up. “You need to rest. I’ll tell everyone to go home.”
“Who’s out there?”
“Your family.”
“I can’t even wrap my head around that.” She turns her head towards me. “You never knew?”
“No. We asked Brass when he showed up today, and he said he didn’t have a clue. Devin kept it to himself—well and Bianca.”
“I love my dad, Hawk. Even though he allowed my mother to cut me out of our family, he’s the only dad that I know. I don’t see Devin as that man.”
“You don’t have to, Tessa. That doesn’t make you any less of a Sinclair. You’re just as much a Sinclair as Sin and Cut. But we don’t need to concentrate on that right now. First things first, you need to get out of here so we can start on getting you better.”
I take her hand and give her a squeeze, but she doesn’t let go. “The last time I was in this hospital I lost everything. I’m afraid.”
“You’re never going to lose anything ever again. I’ll be back in the morning, I promise you.”
Hawk
“Hey, Heather. Can I get a beer, please?”
I’m in the clubhouse. It’s quiet, but then again, it's not like it used to be. It’s evolution, I guess. We’re all changing. The club is still what binds us, but it isn’t our livelihood anymore. Hell, the bounty hunting gigs are becoming few and far between. Kinda feels like an end to an era, something I haven’t allowed myself to stew upon because of all the shit that I’ve had going on in my life.
The club isn’t growing like it was a few months ago when Louie Sr. was first killed. Many of the guys, me included, thought it was the perfect time to resurrect the club. To make it bigger than it ever was, but that didn’t happen. The bike building is growing. Our partnership with Choppers West is solid, and that’s where the money is. There was a time when every single one of us breathed this club, but now it’s turning more into a hobby.
“You okay?” She places a frosted mug in front of me.
It’s Friday. The only night that clubhouse is open. “Yeah.” I twist in my chair and look out into the room. The place is practically deserted. The music plays at a low tone, the dance floor is empty. If Tessa doesn’t pull through, I’ll have the responsibility of Sam. I’ll have a boy to look after, to mentor, to rise to be the best man he can possibly be. Am I qualified for that? I was walking these halls before my balls even dropped. Would I be okay with Sam doing the same? Will the club be here when it comes to that point? Fuck, would Tessa even want that for her son?
“Change isn’t a bad thing, Hawk.” I twist back in my chair.
“Why do you say that?” I take a sip of my beer.
Heather leans her elbow on the table. “I can see it by the look on your face. You’re at a crossroads, aren’t you?” I don’t respond. “You know you aren’t the only one. Look at Sin and Lick. They’ve been in your exact position. Not too long ago, either.” She smacks the bar and back away.
“What’s on your mind, kid?” Lick pulls the stool out next to me and takes a seat.
“That’s a loaded question. And remember, you don’t fucking talk about feelings and shit.”
A smile spreads across his face. “You fucking got me there. But try me. I’m totally in touch with all the feminine shit these days.”
“Fuck me. Tylan Lick McCoy wants to talk? Jenni is a God damned miracle worker.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Says the biggest dick of all of us.”
“Yes, it’s a known fact that I do in fact have the biggest dick in the club. This isn’t new information. But I do see what you’re doing. You’re doing the exact same shit that I used to do. It’s called avoidance, and you need to stop.”
I balk at him. “Holy shit.” I look around. “Who the hell are you right now?”
“Okay, I’m done fucking around. Let’s get this shit over with. I’d like to go home and fuck my wife.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Lick groans and rubs his hand over his bald head. “You’re at a point where you need to make some decisions, right? Jenni talked to Savannah.”
“Of, course she did.”
“Tessa isn’t doing good, Hawk. You can’t have the mindset that you’ve got the time to make things right. If you want something, then fucking do it because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. You and I both know that. We’ve witnessed too much fucking death to think otherwise.”
“Is there a difference between what you want and what you need to do?”
“Yes. Those are the decisions that we have to make as adults. It’s never fucking easy, and sometimes it fucking messy.”
“I’ve wanted Tessa Reese my entire life, man. Even back as kids, I wanted her, but I thought she was better off without the club life.”
“Club life is in her blood, man.”
He’s not wrong.
“Well, none of us knew that, and things were different back then.”
“You’re right. But it’s not the same life, so you can’t use that as an excuse. So what’s the next thing you’ve got?”
“I’m not sure if I’m the best pick to raise Sam.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re the best possible option for that
kid. He’s chosen you, Hawk. From what I got from the gossip mill, you weren’t the only option, but guess what, she came back here for you. Because she knew that you were the one she wants for her boy. Not that other dude, not her mother, but you. If Sam didn’t love you, man, then Tessa would not be here right now. That boy deserves to finally have a father in his life. He needs that. A father is the most important influence on a little boy–you can’t deny that. Don’t allow whatever hang-ups you might have with your dad to interfere with your love for this little boy. We’re our own people. Our past doesn’t need to fuck with our present or our future.”
“I don’t know how to save her.”
“That’s not your job in this instance. Your job is to support Tessa, to be there for her and Sam, to ensure both of them that they aren’t alone in this. Support is some powerful shit, man. You need to make them know you aren’t going anywhere.”
I don’t say anything.
“Listen, kid, from the moment I met you, you’ve been there but always standing on the edge of everything. I get it. Your mom left, you felt unworthy. You saw the family and the love that Bianca and Devin showed their family and you never had that. Sure they included you, but it wasn’t yours. Well, now you have your chance. Biology doesn’t make you a parent. That fucktard who did what he did to Tessa doesn’t deserve to have the title of dad, but Hawk, you do. You have everything you’ve always wanted in the palm of your hand. All you gotta do is close your hand and hold on tight.”
He clasps his hand on my shoulder and stands. “Fuck, I think I lost my balls somewhere in this conversation. It looks like sex might be out tonight. Thanks, a fucking lot, kid.” He winks at me and leaves the clubhouse.
Hawk
“Bianca?” I call out as I walk into the house.
“In here, mijo.” I hear her banging around in the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” The stove has three pots cooking on the stove top.
“Tessa is supposed to be released today. I’m making her favorites now, so we just have to reheat them. I don’t want to spend time cooking when she or Sam might need me.”
Sam.
I pull at a chair at the table and sit. “Do you ever worry about how the next generation is going to turn out?”
She puts the spoon that’s in her hand down and turns around. Popping her hip to the side and rest on hand on it. “What do you mean? The kids? Grace, Roxy, and Ryder?”
“Yeah. Technically, those kids will be club kids.”
“I don’t agree, Mijo. You kids are not like your fathers. Tylan isn’t like his mother or sister. He will not allow those kids to travel down the same path. He would lay down his life before he allowed that. Do you know why? Because he has learned from his past. Are you concerned about Sam?”
“Yeah, I am. I need to make sure that I’m the best option for him.”
The back door opens then closes. Sin appears. When his gaze falls on me, his steps faltered. I haven’t talked to him since he found out about Tessa. “Mijo, you all right?” She walks up to him and places her hand on the side of his face.
He keeps his eyes pinned to me. “Yeah, Mama.”
“Good.” She pats his face and goes back to cooking.
Sin opens up the fridge and grabs two bottles of water. He sits down and hands me a bottle. “How is she?” He unscrews the cap and takes a sip. His eyes are guarded. I know he’s fighting with the news that Tessa is his blood. I know he’s battling the loyalty he has for Sienna.
“She’s better this morning.”
“She’s a fighter. From the moment she was born, she’s been a fighter,” Bianca says as she stirs the sauce.
“How did you deal with it, Mama? Knowing what Dad did.”
“Matthew we’re all human. It’s not like he kissed me goodbye one night and went out and slept with Gloria. I left. I took his boys, his family and left him. I didn’t want you to see us argue and hear our name calling. But just because you didn’t witness anything doesn’t mean that it wasn’t there. All couples have their issues. It wasn’t easy when I found out, no. I was hurt. I was weeks away from having your sister. I was so mad that he didn’t tell me when I came back home. He should have told me, but I think he had the same thoughts as Gloria. They never wanted to mention it. I’m sure if Tessa weren’t born sick, we never would have known. They would have kept it from us.”
“So they just asked you for the cord blood. What were they doing, hovering in the waiting room while you were giving birth?”
“No, of course not. We had you boys tested.”
Sin sits up. “You had us tested?”
“Yes. Tessa was your sister. There was a chance you’d be a match. Devin didn’t match. You were close, but at the time the doctors felt more confident with the cord blood, so we waited.”
“So Sin’s a match to Tessa?”
“Yes.”
I look at Sin. “Then you can donate your marrow to Tessa and save her.”
“What?” He scoffs. “No.”
“What the fuck do you mean no. She has Sienna’s marrow in her now. Doesn’t that mean that he’d be a better match now?”
“I’m not sure how that works, Hawking. But even so, Tessa isn’t at that stage. She needs to undergo chemotherapy and radiation to kill the cancer before they think about a bone marrow transplant. We don’t even know what she wants to do.”
“She wants to live. We know that much. She’s going to do whatever it takes to make sure she’s here for her son.” I look at Sin. “Wouldn’t you do the same?”
“Don’t try to guilt me into this. I might not even be able to donate. I’m missing a fucking kidney, or maybe you forgot about that.”
“But you won’t know until you try.” I slam my hand on the table. “You need to try.”
“What I need to do to make sure that I’m there for Savannah and Grace.”
“This is bullshit, Sin!” I push back from the table and lean towards him. “You have your chance to save your sister. For eight years you thought you lost your only sister but didn’t!” I slam my hand into the table again. “You have another one. One that you might be able to save. I need you to do this, Sin. I swear on my life that I’ll never ask for you to do anything else. I can’t lose her. I fucking love her. I’ve loved her my entire life, and I’ve lived too many years without her. I refuse to live the rest of it without her by my side. I need you to do this.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
He doesn’t know if he can. I’m blown away by his response. I shake my head. “You know, for years you’ve talked about how it was your fault Sienna died. You were injured, lying on the couch when your sister took her last breath. We all know her death isn’t on your hands and it’s taken you a long time to believe that too. But this, this death, this sister? You have your chance to save her, and if you don’t at least try, then you’ll be the coward you thought of yourself all these years. You’ll turn your back on your family like you think you did to your men.”
With my chest heaving, I look at Bianca and see tears in her eyes. I know I'm harsh, but fuck it. I need someone else to fight for Tessa because I’m afraid that this fight is going to take more than just the two of us.
Hawk
I walk down the white halls until I see Tessa’s room. “Hey, beautiful.” I give her a wink as I enter.
“Hey.” She scoots over and pats the bed next to her. She’s fully dressed in the clothes I brought her this morning. “How’s Sam?”
“He’s good. He stayed with Lick and Jenni last night. I think she was taking them to the zoo today to get them out of the house. Are they ready to cut you loose?”
“Just waiting for the doctor.” She goes to say something more but stops herself.
I take her hand in mine. “What is it?”
“My father came after you left.”
I’m not a fan of Frank Reese. I wasn’t when I found out how he turned on Tessa before she left town, and I’m especially not since he said what
he said yesterday. “What did he want?”
“He wants me to go back to their house. He wants a relationship with Sam, and that he’s sorry for how he handled everything back then.”
I can feel the blood pulse in my neck as my blood pressure spikes. I don’t want her going with them. I have a feeling, adult or not, if Tessa were to go with them, then I’d have limited access to her and to Sam. That’s something that I’m not willing to give them.
“I don’t think that’s the best option.”
She turns her head, her eyes crinkling at the edges. “Why?”
“Why did you come back home, Tessa?”
She drops my hand, but I pick it back up. I’m not letting her pull away from me. “Because I’m sick.”
“And?”
“I need help.”
“Yes, you need help. You came back to the last place you wanted to be because you need help. You came back because you needed my help, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to have to beg your parents to let me into their house to make that happen. You and I both know that they don’t care for any of us, and you moving in with them is a form of control they’re trying to place on you. I honestly don’t think it’s coming from a good place. I think if they had good, pure intentions when it came to you, then they wouldn’t have done what they did when you needed them most.”
“This is so fucked up.” She sighs, and I can’t help but laugh.
“It sure is. But it’s another hurdle that we’ll get over together—as a family. If they want to be involved, I don’t have a problem with that. I think the best place for you and Sam is Bianca’s.”
She opens her mouth to say something but a knock on the door has her stopping. Sin pokes his head in and when his eyes land on me, the anger I thought for sure would be present isn’t. Regret, maybe guilt. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” Tessa says.
I scoot myself from the bed. “I’m going to check on what’s keeping the doctor. I know you’re anxious to get out of here, and Sam is going to want his mom home.”
“I won’t be long,” Sin says as I pass him.
Hawk_Devil's Fury Book 3 Page 28