Echoes of Summer

by Bastian, Laura D.

  “Grandma and Grandpa Perry are going to take me on a trip to the Redwoods.”

  Stephen stopped chewing the food in his mouth. He rearranged it to the side and asked. “How long? Is your mom going too?”

  “No, Mom said she had to work.”

  Stephen considered that for a moment. Were Milo’s grandparents trying to keep him from Stephen? Had it been their idea, or had Madison done this? “How long is the trip for?” he asked again.

  “I think it’s for a week. Not sure. Should I go ask Mom?”

  “No, that’s okay. I hope you have a fun trip. When do you leave?”

  “Next week.”

  Stephen nodded, though Milo couldn’t see him. He wouldn’t have Milo there as an excuse to see Madison, but maybe it would give him a chance to show her that he wasn’t just in it for the kid. But she wouldn’t see him without Milo. He needed a way to talk to her where she couldn’t get away.

  “I’ll be coming back tomorrow night. Would you like to go do something?”

  “Yeah. We could go to the park. Mom doesn’t have much time lately.”

  “Is she still really busy at work?” Stephen asked.

  “Yeah.” A few noises in the background made Stephen think Milo was playing with Legos as they talked. “It must be really hard ’cause sometimes she cries at night after dinner.”

  Stephen held the phone tighter to his ear. “Is she there in the room with you?” He paused, not thinking he should ask Milo if he thought she was sad because of something different.

  “No, she’s watching a movie.”

  “I’m sorry your mom is sad. I think I might know something to help her feel better. Do you think you might help me cheer her up?” Stephen asked. He hesitated for a moment, not sure if this idea would backfire or not, but he was desperate enough to enlist the help of a seven-year-old.

  ***

  Madison stared at Milo Thursday night as she tried to tuck him into bed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You left it in the car?”

  “Sorry, Mom. I forgot Claw when we came in. And I can’t sleep without him. Please.”

  Milo’s eyes were huge, and she didn’t understand what was so important about the stupid stuffed animal anyway. It wasn’t as if he’d had it long. Stephen had bought it for him at the zoo last week. She dropped her shoulders in defeat and sighed.

  “Fine. I’ll go get it.”

  “I’ll come help you find him.” Milo threw the covers off and shot past her into the hallway. She was half-tempted to just let him run out to the car himself, but he was still pretty young, and though her neighborhood was relatively safe, she still didn’t feel comfortable letting him go alone.

  He’d left the front door open in his rush out there. She grabbed the keys from her purse and hurried down the driveway after him.

  Milo ran back to her. “Can I open it?”

  Madison passed the keys over to him, and he pressed the button, running closer to the back door. He kept the keys in his hand, opened his door, and peered in. “I can’t see it.”

  Madison rolled her eyes. “It’s on the floor against the other door.”

  “Where?” Milo said, not even looking in the car.

  Madison shook her head, not wanting to argue with him. It was easier to just do it herself. She stepped into the car so she could reach it and felt Milo push her from behind.

  “Hey!” she hollered. “What are you—” The door closed behind her, and Madison turned to glare at her son. She tried opening the door, but with the child-locks on, it wouldn’t open and she wasn’t in the mood to climb into the front seat. She pointed her finger at him. “Open this door, Milo.”

  Milo wasn’t even looking at her, but was waving to someone behind the car. Madison looked through the back windshield and frowned when she saw Stephen approaching her car.

  He opened the front door and climbed in then turned to face her. Madison glared at him then back to her son who lifted the car keys and pressed the lock button. He waved at Stephen, gave him a thumbs up, and ran into the house, closing the door behind him.

  “What the heck is this all about?” Madison asked. “Did you put him up to this?”

  Stephen shrugged. “I merely suggested I needed a moment to talk to you. And since you won’t meet with me, or see me, or even talk to me on the phone anymore now that we no longer work together, I thought I’d enlist the help of our son.”

  “My son is going to be in some big trouble.” Madison looked back at the door, not wanting to even look at Stephen.

  “My son is doing exactly what I asked,” Stephen said. “I think that deserves some praise.”

  “He’s not your son. You may be his biological father, but you are not his dad.” Madison snapped.

  Stephen sighed. “Maybe you should be a little more careful what you say right now. Don’t want you to regret anything.”

  “There are a lot of things I regret.” Madison crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. She regretted so much about this man and the time she had wasted on him. If she hadn’t pined away after him for so long, she might have let herself find someone else. If she hadn’t listened to the advice from her parents, she might have had these last eight years with him. If she hadn’t gotten so angry at everything he’d done or said, she wouldn’t be feeling so uncomfortable to be with him right now.

  “Me too.” Stephen turned to look at her, leaning his arm across the seat so he could face her better. His large body filled the front half of the car, and she leaned against the back window, trying to stay as far away from him as possible. “I regret not coming back to find you. I regret letting your parents scare me away. I regret not being here for Milo all these years. I regret leaving Carlson’s so abruptly, but I thought you needed space. I regret kissing you and scaring you away that night we watched the movie. I should have controlled myself better, but instead I let my desire for you cloud my judgment.

  “But there is one thing I don’t regret.” Stephen stared at her. “I don’t regret loving you. And though you may not want to hear this, I need to tell you. You are exactly what I’ve been looking for all my life. The mother of my child. The one who raised him all on her own and turned him into the amazing kid he is. The one who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on you again. I was an idiot before. I had feelings for you, but I didn’t do it right. I allowed myself to get lost in the moment, then the next minute I was gone and didn’t come back when things got hard. Then I did almost the same kind of thing this time around. That was wrong of me, and I regret it more than anything.”

  Madison stared at him, the anger subsiding to a painful sadness. They’d lost so much time, and if she wasn’t careful, she would push him away completely. He would stay for Milo, for sure, but if things didn’t work out with her, that would hurt too much when he left again.

  “Madison, I don’t want to do it this way. I wanted to be a part of your life. And if you want it to just be by seeing Milo every few days, then I’ll accept that. But you need to know how I feel about you.”

  Madison kept her mouth closed, not willing to say anything yet. Not knowing what to say. She still felt so much anger at him leaving again.

  Madison stared at him. She wished he weren’t so far away. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold him tight. To feel his arms encircle her and make everything feel better, but she still didn’t trust herself. She needed time to think without him staring her down.

  “Let me out,” Madison said. “Please.”

  Stephen met her eyes, apparently searching for something. He turned and let out a slow breath. “All right.” He got out of the car and pulled her door open.

  ***

  Stephen looked into Madison’s eyes, seeing the sadness filling them to the brim with tears. “Let me out, please,” she said.

  He couldn’t keep her in here forever. Holding her against her will wasn’t going to help him win her over. He let out a slow breath. “All right.” He hit the unlock button and climbed out of the c
ar then looked at the house. Through the gap in the curtains, Stephen could make out Milo’s face peeking through. He hated to think he was going to disappoint his son. But he had years to work on Madison. Maybe eventually she would warm up to him.

  He would go slow and take all the time needed until she forgave him.

  He pulled her door open and stepped back so she had room to move. Madison’s pajama-clad leg was soon followed by the second one. She stood up and looked at him then pushed the door closed. He watched her as she stood in front of him, staring up into his face.

  She took one step forward and wrapped her arms around his middle, placing her head against his chest in a hug. He was shocked at first, unsure what she was doing, but as she held him there, he lifted his hands from his side and slowly wrapped them around her. She nestled in closer to him, squeezing him tighter, and he held her close.

  It felt like a hug goodbye, and his heart ached. He was losing her, and there was nothing he could do about it without making her run harder and farther from him. He allowed himself to hold her as long as she’d let him. Maybe this would sustain him for a while.

  She loosened her hold on him and pulled back just a little. He reluctantly released her, expecting her to turn and walk away into the house, but instead she wrapped her arms around herself and looked up into his face.

  “I’m sorry,” Madison said. “I’ve done this all wrong, and I don’t know what to do now. I’m no good at any of this.”

  He lifted his hands and pressed a finger against her lips to stop her words. He moved his hands until they cupped the sides of her face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks.

  “I’m sorry too,” Stephen said.

  “I want to give this a chance, but I’m so scared,” Madison said. She took a slow breath and pulled his hands away from her face. “I need time. And it’s late tonight.”

  Stephen nodded. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  “I have to work late, but why don’t you and Milo do something. I’ll have Karen text you her address and you can let her know what time you’ll get Milo. I’ll call you when I’m done. We can go from there.”

  “I can accept that. Thank you.”

  Madison stepped away from him and returned to her house. Milo opened the door, his head partly down as if expecting to be in trouble.

  Madison looked at him for a moment then nodded her head back toward the car. “You go get your own lion.”

  Milo’s gaze met Stephen’s looking confused and unsure. He jogged toward the car and Stephen ruffled his hair. “Thanks, kiddo.”

  “Is Mom going to be happy now?” Milo asked.

  “Some day. We’re trying to work things out, but we’ll figure out the best thing for all of us. She has to work late tomorrow, you want to do something with me? I have to do some phone calls in the morning, but I can come pick you up around one.”

  Milo nodded. “Okay.”

  “Museum?” Stephen asked.

  “I guess.” Milo climbed into the car and grabbed his stuffed lion.

  “We can go out to eat afterward too,” Stephen said, and Milo smiled, looking a little more excited.

  “Milo,” Madison called from the front door. “It’s time to get to bed.”

  Milo looked back up at Stephen. “See you tomorrow, Dad.”

  Stephen watched the two most important people in his life disappear into the house without him, and he hoped eventually to join them.

  Chapter Thirty

  As they left the museum and headed to the car, Milo asked, “Can we get something to eat?”

  “Sure, kiddo. Where do you want to go?” Stephen asked. He rattled off a few of the sit-down restaurants nearby and Milo picked one.

  “Mom never takes me to that one.”

  Stephen smiled. “Then we’d better go there.”

  The wait time wasn’t long and they chatted happily while waiting for the food. It was nice to not just get a burger or chicken nuggets like they’d done most times. And they’d have time to eat and still get him home by eight. Madison would probably be home by then, and they could begin to work things out.

  As the waitress put the food in front of them, Milo tucked into it like he’d been starving and Stephen did the same. He speared his shrimp scampi with a fork and Milo studied Stephen’s plate. “What’s that, Dad?”

  “Shrimp. Want to try?” Stephen held out the fork and Milo shrugged. “Have you ever tried shrimp before?”

  Milo shook his head. “Don’t think so.”

  “It’s good. Here.”

  Milo took the fork and bit carefully into the curved part of the shrimp. He chewed gingerly and swallowed. “It tastes weird.” Milo handed the fork back without finishing the entire shrimp and Stephen chuckled.

  “No worries, you can slowly get used to it. I love it.”

  Milo brought his hand to his mouth and wiped it, then took a bite of his mac and cheese and chewed slowly, reaching up and rubbing his lip again. He swallowed and took a drink. “My mouth itches.”

  Stephen passed him his unused napkin dipped in his water glass. “Wipe the cheese sauce off your face.”

  Milo scrubbed his face and when he put the napkin down, Stephen frowned at the swollen bottom lip.

  “Milo, are you having an allergic reaction?”

  Milo’s eyes widened as he reached up and touched his lips. “I don’t have my epi-pen. I left my backpack at Aunt Karen’s.”

  Stephen stood up and moved around the table to Milo. “What do we do?”

  “Call Mom.”

  Stephen pulled out his phone and frantically dialed Madison. It just rang, then went to voice-mail. Stephen grunted in frustration and left a message. “Call me, now!” He grabbed his wallet and pulled out a few twenties, hoping he’d guessed the right price and threw them on the table. Gripping Milo’s hand, he rushed out of the restaurant, trying to explain to the hostess that he had to get the kid to the hospital.

  By the time they’d gotten into the car, Milo’s face was completely flushed and his lips were swollen to twice the size. Small looking blisters were forming near his eyes and all over his cheeks and Stephen panicked. “Get buckled! We’re heading to the ER.”

  The few minutes it took to get to the hospital were the longest and worst in all of Stephen’s life. He kept talking to Milo, telling him it would be okay, making him answer questions and keep a running commentary on his symptoms. As he pulled into the spot just for ambulances at the ER doors, Stephen threw the car into park and jumped out, yanking the back door open and grabbing Milo in a football hold and sprinting through the doors.

  “He ate some shrimp, and is having a reaction!”

  The nurses took him into a curtained room and started asking him questions, then another nurse took Stephen to the side to ask him questions he didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t know how much he weighed, what other things he was allergic to besides tree nuts or if he’d ever had a shell-fish reaction before, or anything about his medical history.

  A paramedic rushed through the doors, shouting for the idiot who was blocking the ambulance to move their car and Stephen ran out to take care of that.

  He tried calling Madison again after parking as he jogged back to the hospital doors, but the phone just rang again. He texted her, hoping she didn’t panic when she read the words ER and allergy. Things went by in a blur. Milo was treated and his face no longer looked as swollen, making Stephen relax just a little. Madison finally called and Stephen was grateful he’d be able to report Milo was on the mend.

  “Where are you!” she shouted into the phone as soon as Stephen answered. He gave her the information about which hospital. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She hung up without saying another word.

  Stephen paced the little curtained room, not looking forward to seeing Madison after almost killing their son. She would never trust him now or give him a chance after this.

  ***

  Madison rushed through the ER doors and grabbed the fi
rst nurse she could find. “My son’s here. Allergy. Milo Perry.”

  The nurse led her back to a curtained area and Milo’s happy face smiled up at her. “Mom!”

  Madison hurried over to him where he sat propped up on the gurney and gave him a hug. “Milo, I was so worried about you, what happened? What did you eat?” She turned to Stephen. “Did you give him something with nuts? How could this happen?” She turned back to Milo. “Where was your backpack? You know you’re supposed to keep it with you at all times. This could happen with anything made in a factory with nuts.”

  She turned back to Stephen. “You should have been more careful. Did you read the package? What did you give him?”

  The look of devastation on Stephen’s face stopped her tirade for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but Milo beat him to it. “Mom, calm down. It wasn’t a nut.”

  Madison looked between the two, then sat on the edge of Milo’s bed. “What was it?”

  “Shrimp,” Stephen said. “I didn’t know. You never told me he could have any allergies to shell fish.”

  Madison looked at Milo again. “You ate shrimp?” He had never wanted to try it when she ordered it. Why would he eat it now? “I didn’t know he had a shell fish allergy.”

  Milo nodded. “Yeah, the doctor said sometimes it happens with people who have nut allergies. Said I’ll have to be careful with regular fish too.” He sounded so grown up for a seven year old and she was relieved he was so calm about this. He hadn’t had a life threatening reaction for years and they’d become too comfortable. “But Dad got me here fast enough for them to give me the shot.”

  “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She hugged him again then stood up and moved over to Stephen. It was hard to meet his eyes, but she knew she had to apologize. To make it right between them. She had over reacted big time and accused him of carelessness when it wasn’t his fault.