Simp-Lee the Best

by Lee McCulloch

  I’d been planning it for weeks. We had been together for almost a decade and the time was right. I got a magnum of champagne and got her ring sorted. I got Amanda a lovely solitaire ring when she had Callum. It wasn’t an engagement ring but it was a sign of my commitment. I knew she wouldn’t have wanted a new ring when I proposed so I had to come up with a plan. I told her I was taking the ring to get cleaned and asked a jeweller to put some new diamonds on it. I’d asked Amanda’s dad Gavin for his permission. Her mum Joyce was delighted, but I was nervous the night of the proposal. We lost to Hibs and I had injured my knee. I was in agony driving back to the house from Ibrox.

  Amanda: ‘Lee was acting strange, seemed on edge, when he came back from work that evening. We had a glass of wine and he started to read out a list of things that he loved about me. He was fidgeting in the breast pocket of his Rangers suit jacket. It was from there he eventually produced a ring. He got down on one knee, clearly in pain with his knee injury, and proposed. I was shocked but absolutely thrilled. It was lovely, a moment I’ll never forget.

  ‘It means we are set for a busy period over the next year or two. I will graduate in September 2013 after studying for three years to be a midwife. I’m looking forward to it. My mum was a midwife so it’s nice to follow in her footsteps. I get a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from my job, dealing with beautiful newborn babies and happy parents. After that, I hope we can share a lot more time together and enjoy a nice holiday. Due to our commitments with work and studying, I’ve rarely been off at the same time as Lee. We’ve managed a short break here and there with the kids but that’s been it. I suppose, however, the main thing is to make sure I’ve got time to plan our wedding. I’m looking forward to it. Lee is a fine man and a wonderful dad. I’m incredibly proud of all he has achieved and how he has dealt with everything in the past eighteen months. Rangers have become a massive part of our lives. The recognition Lee gets has been quite difficult for both of us to adjust to as we are quite private people, but we have learned how to deal with it and embrace it in the right way.’

  I’m really looking forward to the future with Amanda and all the good times ahead that we’ll have together.

  7

  SCOTLAND: THE VOGTS OF CONFIDENCE

  DESPITE THE FACT I was playing well for Wigan, I never expected it to lead to a Scotland call-up. Wigan, I felt, was still regarded as an unfashionable club by most people in Scotland, and some cynics may well have been along the lines of, ‘Well, it’s only Wigan. Any player could get a game for them’, which had been said, but we had quality on the pitch and the club was growing. So, I must admit, it was a surprise when I was called up by Berti Vogts for a friendly against Trinidad and Tobago at Hibernian’s Easter Road Stadium in May 2004. The call-up was a nice reward for the way I was playing for Wigan. I was extremely proud.

  The game took place on a Sunday afternoon, and it was a roasting hot day. We were winning comfortably, 4–1 up at the time, and as is the way in such fixtures, many substitutions were being made by both managers. Berti seemed to be throwing everybody on except me. I was the last outfield player waiting to get on. As the clock ticked down, I became agitated, maybe even embarrassed at the thought of not managing to get on when everyone else did.

  I remember with about ten minutes remaining I was sitting beside James McFadden. He had been taken off by this stage. I told him I was desperate to get on but didn’t think I had any chance. Yet, pre-match, Berti assured every player that they would play at some stage. I was raging as I voiced my anger in the conversation with Faddy. He took the bull by the horns and said, ‘Right, fuck this. I’ll make sure you get on.’

  Next thing I knew he shouted to a player, who was playing in the centre of midfield, ‘We need a favour. Throw one in. Say you’ve got a sore calf and need to come off so we can get Jig on.’

  I think my face was crimson but, to my amazement, the player said he would do it. Less than two minutes later he was over at the touchline, in front of the dugout, and told Berti he had to come off as he had a calf strain. Berti turned to me and told me to get stripped – I was going on. Smiling ear to ear, I gave Faddy a high-five, took my warm-up top off and put my shin guards on. I puffed my chest out, ready for the fourth official to hold up my number. I was so excited.

  Then, the fourth official appeared and said we weren’t allowed to make the change as we had used up the agreed allocation of substitutions. I was gutted. Honestly, my world collapsed around me. I couldn’t believe it. I sat back down. Faddy was in fits of laughter. He couldn’t control himself. In contrast, I was in a huff, and my petted lip came out. It was one of the lowest points of my career. Looking back on it now I can see the funny side. But, at the time, it was anything but a laugh for me.

  For friendly games the players don’t receive caps, they are given pennants. I was given one at full-time by the SFA but it’s the only time I’ve never wanted anything after a game. Faddy gave me a run home that day and he loved winding me up. I struggled to see the funny side of it.

  I did make it into more of Berti’s squads. However, he was clearly reluctant to play me and I don’t think he really fancied me. That said, I was determined to get on that pitch and represent my country. I eventually made my debut for Scotland away in Moldova in October 2004 in a qualifier for the 2006 World Cup to be held in Germany. It was a vital game and the feeling of the nation was that Berti had to win it. Pressure was growing on him after some poor results, none more so than the 4–0 defeat to Wales in a friendly. Lots of people in the game felt he was lucky to survive that one.

  He used to video our training sessions and then he’d make us watch them after our evening meal the night before the game. Interestingly enough, what also happened on those evenings was that the players were allowed to drink alcohol. White wine, red wine and rose wine, plus a few cold beers, would be there for us. Some of the boys had a beer or two. I didn’t. I’ve never been one for drinking the night before a game, but it seemed to make a few of the lads feel relaxed, take any tension away. I have to say a nice atmosphere was created partly because of that, whether you had an alcoholic drink or not. We’d also be watching edits of some of the funny bits from training, some of the sitters and some of the bad first touches!

  The game itself was no laughing matter. We drew 1–1 that night. Another poor result. I came on as a sub and it was great to finally make my Scotland debut. Happy days.

  Although I came on as a sub, Berti must have had some faith in me and obviously thought I might be able to get a winning goal. I was extremely surprised to get the nod. I was on for fifteen minutes and thought I played fairly well in my role of centre-forward. I had a few touches and managed a couple of shots on goal. But we didn’t win. The result was a disaster and yet another nail in Berti’s coffin. Our chances of qualification disappeared.

  The Scotland fans went mental at time-up. They gave it tight to Berti. I felt for him. We were flying back to Glasgow that night and the SFA Head of Security, Willie McDougall, warned the players as we got to the airport to be on our toes as there was a nasty atmosphere inside the airport. They were still gunning for Berti. The fans were throwing things, mainly at Berti. The players were on edge. That was his last game in charge and he was sacked the following month.

  There’s no doubt he made many mistakes and results weren’t up to the required standard. The SFA had no choice but to sack him. In the post-mortem of his time as gaffer he was accused by some of handing out Scotland caps like sweeties and that may well have been a fair criticism. He capped dozens of players in his two and a half years in charge. I was fortunate enough to be one of them so you won’t hear me criticise him for that.

  My view on it is that when he came in he had to start again as several players had retired or were nearing the end of their international careers. They had served the country and Craig Brown well by getting to Euro ’96 and France ’98, but it was time for change after Brown and a fresh eye was needed on players and the set-up of our
national game. Berti certainly made changes but he wasn’t successful enough.

  I always found Berti to be a players’ man. He put us first, and players appreciated that. Some players did want to play for him. I was sorry for him when he was sacked by the SFA, but I felt it was the right decision. His time was up and a new man was needed to try and take the country forward.

  The search was on for Berti’s replacement and there appeared to be just one man in the frame from the outset – Walter Smith. The Gaffer. I was delighted when he got the job. I thought it was a great move by the SFA, but I was uncertain about my own future for Scotland with him in charge. I’d never worked under Walter at any stage but I was in a good period at club level for Wigan. I had scored fourteen goals and was awarded the Players’ Player of the Year. I thought Walter wouldn’t be interested in a Wigan player. So, I had sort of written off my international career and thought I was going to have just one cap.

  His first squad get-together was in February 2005. He decided against taking on a friendly game and opted just to have a gathering for a couple of days in Manchester. Sir Alex Ferguson allowed him to use Manchester United’s excellent training facilities at Carrington. I wasn’t included in that squad. My disappointment was short-lived, however. The following month we had to play against Italy in Milan in a World Cup qualifier and fortunately my name was in the Gaffer’s frame.

  To play in the San Siro was an exceptional experience. We lost 2–0 with Andrea Pirlo scoring with two free-kicks. Kenny Miller missed a couple of half-chances and he also came out after the game and said he was to blame for the defeat. He was being harsh on himself. Yes, he had two half-chances, but they weren’t sitters. We were disappointed to lose but it was a solid enough performance and we were well organised. We were also encouraged that Italy didn’t manage to beat us in open play! There was also some positive coverage from the press and that was welcomed by the players and the SFA, especially after some of the headlines and comments Berti had attracted.

  We knew plenty of hard work was ahead. We weren’t silky and we were never going to out-pass teams and win comfortably. It was about hard work and giving your all for the jersey. We all wanted to do well for Scotland. We knew we’d have to grind out results. I played on the left wing most times and I knew I just had to work my backside off, get up and down the pitch, win high balls and try to bully the full-back. It wasn’t rocket science. It wasn’t pretty, but we tried to be effective.

  We also won silverware during Walter’s stewardship when we lifted the Kirin Cup in Japan in May 2005. It was a three-team tournament with Japan and Bulgaria and we were proud to finish first. We drew with Japan and thrashed Bulgaria 5–1. But there was also drama off the park. We had a night out in Tokyo to celebrate and Gary Teale ended up in jail. He got arrested for jumping along a few taxis at a rank. As he was being led away, he shouted, ‘Jig, remember to wipe my footprint off of that car!’ We had to bail him out a few hours later and then run to the airport to catch our flight home. It was crazy stuff. Teale was so relieved and we were pleased for him, although it was a pretty daft thing to do but obviously funny.

  We were singing on the team bus on the way from our hotel to the airport and some of us were still under the influence after a heavy session celebrating the night before after Scotland grabbed a tournament win for the first time in many years. We drew a large penis on Faddy’s head when he was sleeping. He had no idea and no one brought it to his attention. He was walking through customs with the drawing still intact and then Walter pulled him. He had the ‘Walter stare’ on and said to Faddy, ‘Listen, son, get to the bloody toilet and get that off your forehead,’ or words similar to that! Faddy did manage to see the funny side.

  Walter was brilliant at handling such situations. He loved a laugh and a joke and that’s why he was so fond of Billy McCulloch, the Scotland masseur. In any of the games that came down to do-or-die scenarios, Walter would say his piece and then hand over to Billy. Billy was at Chelsea full-time and is adored at Stamford Bridge. He is also a passionate Scotsman. He has a great sense of humour and can make anybody laugh at any given time. Billy would do a wee stand-up routine for us at some point in the build-up to kick-off on a match day. He’d have us in stitches. He is hilarious and it definitely helped us relax.

  The highlight under Walter’s time in charge came in a Euro 2008 qualifier against France in October 2006. We played France at Hampden Park and I played for fifty-eight minutes. The thing about that game was I hadn’t played or trained for Wigan for four weeks. I was out injured. But Walter included me in his squad. He made his intentions known to me as soon as we arrived at Cameron House a few days before the game. He knew I was going to be a wee bit short of match fitness but told me to give it my all for an hour and then he’d take me off. I was only too happy to oblige. Yet, after fifteen minutes I was breathing out my backside. The wee right-back for France, Sagnol, just kept flying past me, but I managed to hang in there.

  We won 1–0 thanks to Gary Caldwell’s goal. Sir Alex Ferguson was in the dressing room after the game and shook us all by the hand. He was the happiest guy in the place. It was a fantastic experience and a memorable day to beat such a talented team with players such as Patrick Vieira, Claude Makélélé and Thierry Henry in their line-up.

  To be perfectly honest, that result didn’t come as a major surprise to me. We had a decent squad of players but our main strength was our team spirit. It was very similar to a club atmosphere and we would all have given anything for Walter and his assistants, Tommy Burns and Ally McCoist. The three of them worked fantastically well together. To be given the chance to work for my hero, Ally McCoist, was special. I admired him and looked up to him when he was a player. I didn’t know Tommy but everyone told me he was a gentleman and a good football man. After spending some time with him in the Scotland set-up, what struck me most about Tommy was his enthusiasm and sense of humour. Great patter. He was brilliant with the one-liners. I was a victim of it once or twice. It was a major loss to the game when Tommy sadly passed away in May 2008. He’s missed by all.

  During a training routine, one of my first sessions with the squad, wee Faddy whipped in a cross that was perfect for me to go and attack. I’d connected with the ball, on the volley, less than two yards out, but somehow managed to put it over the crossbar. I held my head in my hands. My face must have been beetroot. All the boys looked at me, wondering what the hell was going on and all laughing. I was laughing at myself too!

  Quick as a flash, Tommy shouted over to me, ‘Hey, Jig, for fuck sake. What was that? We’ve already got boys here that can do that. We’re needing something a wee bit different!’ Even now, I still can hear him shouting it to me. Everyone was in stitches. That was typical of the banter in the squad during that period. It was just like a club atmosphere and it helped us get to fourteenth in the FIFA rankings. It was some turnaround.

  8

  PLAYING IN THE PREMIERSHIP: ‘THAT’S FOR YOU, JIG’ – MIXING WITH THE BIG BOYS

  IT WAS good to be a part of such good times at club and international level. I knew doing well for Wigan at a higher level would keep me involved in the Scotland set-up. As soon as we got into the Premiership we were well aware that plenty of people expected us to be relegated and go straight back down to the Championship. We knew people were shooting the club down. We were ridiculed and people were out of order. We knew we were a good team and that we’d have to win over other people, prove we deserved to be in the Premiership. But that didn’t mean the lack of respect and ignorance – collectively as a football club and individually as human beings – was justified. We were determined to make our detractors eat their words.

  Some were more outspoken than others, such as Rodney Marsh. Basically, he said that our team was too old to compete and that there was no point in us being in the top flight. Paul Jewell was angry. We all were, but we used it as part of our motivation. Marsh was the most outspoken of them all. To me, he enjoyed a very good career as a footballer
but he wasn’t much of a pundit. That said, although none of us agreed with him, I suppose he got people talking and reacting to his opinions and that’s what that business is all about. It gave us an incentive, that’s for sure. What also helped was the fact we were to be given a bonus in the region of £100,000 per man to stay in the league. That was on top of £1,500 per win. Dave Whelan was very generous, that has to be said.

  On the downside, we lost Nathan Ellington to West Brom for £3 million. I couldn’t believe it when ‘The Duke’ left. I was gutted. The squad had to be strengthened and the two headline names that arrived were Henri Camara from Wolves for £3 million and Stéphane Henchoz from Liverpool on a free transfer. Both had been at Celtic on loan the previous season and neither proved to be a huge success in the SPL, but they were experienced and we were going to need calm heads in the months ahead. Pascal Chimbonda arrived for £500,000 from French club Bastia. He was a right-back but very much an unknown quantity.

  Henchoz was a quality international defender for Switzerland. As is the case with new signings, there is always an interest in how much they are earning, especially since we were now in the Premiership and the bulk of the lads that got the club promotion remained on Championship wages. Some players were obsessive about it. Using various sources inside the club and agents in the know, the boys had heard that Henchoz was on around £40,000 per week. I didn’t have a major problem with what any player was earning, each to their own and good luck to any footballer who can command that kind of money. The only slight problem I had – and that the rest of the core of the lads from the previous season had – was that no player was on more than £20,000 per week. Jimmy Bullard wasn’t for holding back and assured the rest of the lads he’d get to the bottom of it. Henchoz turned up for his first day in his red Ferrari and was introduced to the boys. He was very pleasant and didn’t appear to have any sign of an ego. Jimmy introduced himself and then came right out with it in front of the rest of the squad.