Stay Until We Break (Hub City Romance, A)

by Mercy Brown

  In my fantasy, we peel out and tear off down the street, but I’m sure getting pulled over with this crew in the van is the last thing Cole wants. So instead, he pulls carefully away from the curb, driving perfectly sensibly through the back streets of Hoboken, while we all sing all of “Back in Black” all the way home to Hub City.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Sonia

  All hail New Brunswick, Hub City! Our hamlet of rock, three minutes from Exit 9, home of the Scarlet Knights and the best little hidden music hub from Manhattan to Montevallo.

  I’m so glad to be home.

  After we drop Claire off at Demarest dorm, we unload the gear into the band cave. Before Travis, Emmy, Cole, and I hop back into Steady Beth for the two-minute ride over the Raritan into Highland Park, Emmy calls a Soft huddle—the last of the tour. We all gather round and she puts an arm around my shoulders, her eyes all glassy.

  “I just have to say, the last three weeks have been the best of my whole life,” she says. “I really love you guys. You’re the best family anyone could ever ask for.”

  “If you make me cry I’m going to be pissed, Emmylou,” Joey says, putting his arms around Cole, and they pretend to wipe tears away. Goofballs.

  “That’s right, no crying,” Travis says, clearing his throat. “We’re manly men here.”

  “And we have the Roman candles to prove it,” Cole says.

  “But I have to say,” Emmylou says. “As much as you assholes are the light of my world, the rock in my casbah, the MVP award definitely goes to Sunshine.”

  “Me?” I say.

  “Fuck yes,” Joey says. “Sunny, you were unstoppable.”

  “Right?” Travis says. “Between handling all the merchandise and the clubs, you made all those radio calls, and then stepping in for Cole when he got called home? You get your own set of keys to Steady Beth.”

  “Don’t forget Matador,” I can’t help adding.

  “Yeah,” Cole says, his eyes shining. “She was a real champ.”

  “Especially in the Rafters bathroom,” Emmy says.

  “And at strip pool.” Travis nods and Emmy elbows him in the gut. “What?”

  “She lost!”

  “But she showed excellent sportsmanship,” he says.

  “I still can’t believe I missed Sunny’s tits,” Joey says, shaking his head in disappointment.

  “Guys,” Cole says. “Enough. I’ve gotten very protective of those tits, and I’ll share pretty much anything with you but I do have my limits.”

  “Fine, I guess Sunny’s tits officially belong to Cole now,” Emmy says. “Make sure to note it in the band log.”

  “That ass, too,” Cole says.

  “That’s cool,” Joey says wistfully. “I guess every wagon needs a fifth wheel.”

  “Hey, I think beefcake gets an award of his own,” Cole says. “I’m pretty sure you win the road casualty count, after all your whining about never getting any action.”

  “A girl in every state,” Emmy says. “That’s the way I hear it.”

  “No, not every state,” he says, and I think I detect a little bit of pink creeping into his face. “Come on, now. Don’t go around telling . . . anyone . . . that.”

  “Don’t tell anyone?” Cole says. “Shit, I was sure you’d want your tour heroics broadcast on Overnight Sensations.”

  “Come on, man,” he says. Then he shoots me a pleading look.

  “What happens on the road stays on the road, Joseph,” I promise him. “I don’t want it getting out that I’m a shitty pool player, either. I’ll never live it down.”

  “Okay, deal. We lock all unseemly tour incidents in the Soft vault,” Travis says. “All in favor, say ‘aye.’”

  And the ayes have it.

  ***

  It’s so late by the time we get to my house, I’m literally bleary-eyed when we arrive. Emmy and Travis go straight up to Emmy’s room, no doubt to enjoy the comfort of a real bed behind a real door and some semblance of privacy. Our housemates, Jeff and Adam, are fast asleep, so that leaves me and Cole all alone for the first time since Atlanta.

  Cole is in my bedroom, checking out my posters and photos. I’ve fantasized about Cole here in my room like this so many times that it almost doesn’t register that this isn’t my imagination. He’s really right here. Cole McCormack, my most painful and persistent crush, the boy with the eyes full of secrets and the hips of a porn star, is now officially my boyfriend.

  “That’s a nice smile, Sunshine,” he says, giving me an even nicer one back. “What’s got you happy enough to smile like that?”

  I answer him with a kiss, standing on my toes. He sweeps me off my feet, into his arms, and carries me the few steps to the bed. For the first time since we left for the road, there’s no rush. There’s no sleeping bags, dusty floors, rooms full of people to contend with. He kicks off his Vans and I pull my Doc Martens off. We lie back down on the bed, facing each other, our foreheads touching, our lips just barely touching. Even the simple act of breathing next to him makes my heart soar.

  And I’d love to say we go on to wild monkey boning all through the dawn, but the truth is, after all those late, late, late nights curled up on floors dreaming of a nice, soft bed, within minutes Cole and I fall fast asleep.

  ***

  I wake out of a dream, into a dream.

  Warmth, that’s what I feel. The warmth of him hovering over me, his lips moving along the edge of my hairline, the softness of them sinking into me until it reaches all the way down to my soul. My eyes flutter open, taking in the palest morning light as his lips move to the shell of my ear.

  “Sunny . . . wake up,” he says and then kisses behind my ear. “I want you.”

  My body buzzes awake and now I’m up and turned on, yeah, but there’s something else I’m feeling. Something new and something deep. Like I can finally let him have my whole heart. I just want to hand it right to him, along with all the rest of me.

  “Is it okay?” he asks as he moves his lips down my neck to the curve of my shoulder. “I don’t want to stop.”

  “Don’t ever stop,” I whisper, my eyes fluttering open.

  “Say that again and I won’t,” he whispers against my skin. “I’ll keep you right here in this bed with me the rest of your long blessed life.”

  His lips come down onto mine and I open my mouth, feel his tongue taking over everything else I feel. I am dissolving into the mattress, into him, into this new state of we that we’ve declared. I feel high, like a shimmer. I kiss him back so eager, on the edge of desperate, but he settles me with his finger traced lightly over my lips, down my chin, down my neck until he reaches the first snap on my dress and pops it open.

  “Lie still,” he says. “Let me take you slow.”

  Oh, God.

  He slides his tongue along my bottom lip as he fingers the next snap down and pulls it open. Lie still? Who can lie still at a time like this? He lays his hand over my heart, and the warmth spreads all the way through me. Then he pulls my dress wide open and his eyes narrow possessively at the sight of my naked breasts.

  “Mine,” he says with a satisfied smile.

  I nod and smile back in agreement.

  He holds my breast firmly in his hand as he kisses along the side, to the peak, arriving there tongue-first, licking until it’s a tight point he sucks into his mouth. He drags his tongue over to my other breast, lets me feel the edge of his teeth, licking circles over my nipple until I’m shaking, and then he sucks it into his mouth, tongues it until I am lifting off the bed, cradling his head to me and begging him to fuck me.

  “Not yet,” he says. “I want to take my time.”

  His mouth is a trail of heat down to my belly, that part of me that’s always felt too round, too soft, too there. But when he kisses me there, just below my navel, hot with his tongue on me,
his teeth grazing my skin until I writhe, I feel like I’m perfect, exactly the way I am. Like I’m all he’s ever wanted. I hear all the rest of those snaps popping down the skirt of my dress as he pulls it open, slipping his hand into my underwear and pulling it all the way down and off. Now he’s tonguing my hip bone, his hand rising up the inside of my thigh until his fingers are teasing, feeling the slickness between my legs before sliding slowly, softly in. I beg him for more, harder, more, but as promised, he takes his time and his movement is slow and full of purpose.

  He moves his mouth along the inside of my thigh, his breath hot and steady. He starts to fuck me with his fingers, gentle and slow, until I have to move my hips into his hand, working for more. Then he pins my hips to the bed and puts his mouth right on me, licking my clit as he strokes harder, yes, yes, fuck yes, harder. He sucks on that most sensitive part of me, sucks it between his teeth, holds it against his tongue, plunging two, now three fingers up inside of me, again and again until I come with a full-body clench, crying into a pillow so I don’t wake everyone in the house up. Then he kisses me, full of my taste, pushes his tongue into my mouth. I grope at his pants, pull them open, and shove them down his hips. I reach for his cock, all rigid and ready and Goddamn it, where are the condoms? Fuck, fuck, fuck, where is my yellow bag?

  “Right here, shhh, I’ve got it,” he says, pulling a condom out of his pocket and laying it on the bed next to my head. I pull at his T-shirt, kick his pants out of my way. He pulls me free from my dress, flips me to my belly, pulling my hips up to where he wants them, and bends over me, his teeth on my shoulder. “Touch your clit, Sunny,” he says, rubbing his naked cock along the most wet and desperate part of me, velvet sparks against my skin. I do, and oh fuck, it’s a good thing there’s a condom here, but he’s not wearing it yet and oh, shit, he feels so fucking good like this. So Goddamn good. He holds my hips still so I can’t back onto him.

  “Let me see you come,” he says, then pushes just the tip of him into me, pulling it right back out again when I try to take him all the way inside. “Then I’ll fuck you nice and hard until you come again.”

  I rub my clit in circles and he teases me with the tip of his cock until I am swearing at him, begging him to fuck me, and it isn’t long at all before I do start to come, though not nearly as hard as when he thrusts all the way into me and pounds me to the core—without the condom, and seriously, I don’t even care. Part of me realizes how much I’m going to care if he loses it, but I’m just saying the last thing I want is for him to stop to put a rubber on right now. He fucks me hard, right over that mountaintop, until I collapse on the bed, shaking. Then he pulls out and kisses me all the way down my back, down to my ass, before he flips me over to my back.

  I can’t see straight I’m so spent, but he’s not done. He kneels between my open legs and fists his cock over me, the most beautiful, obscenely hot thing I’ve ever hoped to see.

  “Can you take any more?” he asks, putting his hand gently between my legs. His fingers are warm as he pets me, soothing me there. “Or have you had enough?”

  I’m sort of mesmerized watching him pump his cock like that, so I don’t answer immediately. But the way he looks right now, like he needs to fuck me, needs to let go and explode in me, snaps me out of it.

  “If I can’t walk, will you carry me to victory brunch?”

  “On my shoulders,” he says with a sweet laugh. “To dinner and a movie, too.”

  I sit up, put my hand over his as he strokes himself. Then I take the condom out of the wrapper and roll it down him. I lie back down, spreading my legs, reveling in the high and hungry look on his face.

  “Come to me,” I say, reaching for his hand.

  He’s still holding my hand when he covers my mouth with a deep, deep kiss and pushes himself slowly, all the way in, taking all the space inside of me for his own. Now this is the kind of slow, gentle lovemaking I always imagined our first time together would be, those millions of times I dreamed about it. Only this is so much better because it’s not the first time, and we both know for sure it’s not the last, either.

  “It’s never going to be enough, Cole,” I whisper. “You’re just going to have to fuck me like this forever.”

  “I can do that,” he says.

  And you know, I’m starting to believe it.

  Epilogue

  Sonia

  “Sunny!” Travis calls from downstairs as I’m putting the finishing touches on my makeup. Travis hasn’t been at his own house for longer than ten minutes since we got home last weekend, and there’s nothing I can say about that (not that I would) because other than the last few days when Cole has stayed up in Lodi to help Patrick on this strip mall contract, he’s basically deserted Joey and has been camping out here himself.

  “Your date is here!” Travis says. “And he’s looking mighty fine, I have to say.”

  “He’d better, because girlfriend here is some serious eye candy tonight,” Emmy says as she watches me put eyeliner on. “Can you teach me to do my eyes like that?”

  “Sure,” I answer. Emmy fastens the clasp on the back of my dress. After the cowgirl dress Cole bought me in Asheville, this one is my favorite, though too formal to wear much. It’s a vintage, emerald-green satin gown with a straight skirt that hits at my knee. Much fancier than my usual Saturday-night wear, but Mom’s prom dress seems like the right attire for the occasion.

  “Do you want to catch that Ween show at Joe’s Mill Hill on Saturday?” Cole had asked me Wednesday night on the phone. “They’re playing with False Front and I don’t have to take the on-call this weekend.”

  “Well, um, that’s my parents’ big twenty-fifth anniversary party,” I said.

  “Oh, right! What time do you want me to pick you up?”

  “Are you sure you want to go?” I asked. “It’s going to be very stuffy.”

  “Of course I’m sure. Are you sure you want me to go?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  But now that he’s here, I’m sure this was all a terrible mistake. My eyes dart to my tattoo, clearly visible even with the shawl I’ve got to wrap around my shoulders. It’s great, it goes well with the blue streaks framing my face anyway. Can’t wait to get the judgmental stares from my trust-fund cousins and aunts and uncles tonight. Though I have to admit, I’m fairly pleased with the classic updo I managed to pull off with my hair.

  “You okay?” Emmy asks. “You seem a little nervous.”

  “I’m good,” I say, blotting my lipstick with a tissue. “How do I look?”

  “I’d do you,” Emmy says.

  “I’ll try to get back early, then.”

  When we head down to the living room, I have to keep myself from tumbling down the staircase when I see Cole, because Cole is in an actual suit. Not a Bouncing Souls T-shirt, Dickies, and Vans. I guess I was expecting khakis and a sport coat, but no. He’s in a perfectly tailored, charcoal-gray suit with a dress shirt and good shoes and a tie. I’m stuck on the stairs watching him fiddle with his shirt cuff, looking stressed out. But he doesn’t look stressed out when he sees me there, gawking.

  “Hiya, gorgeous,” he says, his eyes all happy and soft. “Come on down here. I got you something.”

  “You did?” I ask, surprised. “You weren’t supposed to get me anything.”

  “It’s just a little something,” he says. He watches me descend the last few steps, unable to take his eyes off of me.

  “Wait, wait, the camera!” Jeff comes running in from the kitchen. He stops dead when he sees Cole standing there. “Jesus Christ, you’re fuckable tonight, Cole.”

  “Just tonight, Jeff?” he says. “Really?”

  “Do not hand her that box yet,” he says. “Adam!” he yells. “Get my Nikon and bring me the soft-focus filter!”

  “What’s this?” I ask, totally confused, looking at the white cardboard box.

&nbs
p; Jeff comes back and takes a series of photos of us, one more ridiculous than the last. First he makes us do one of those corny couples’ poses in front of the fireplace. And then when Joey shows up a few minutes later, Jeff takes a bunch of family photos of the five of us, but I draw the line at the human pyramid.

  When Cole is finally allowed to hand me the box and I open it, the flash goes off at the enormous, goofy smile on my face as I pull out a completely ridiculous, and absolutely stunning white orchid wrist corsage the size of my own hand.

  “Wow, what’s this about?” Emmylou asks.

  “Oh, you’ve got to hear this,” Jeff says, giving me a look as Cole slips the flower on over my wrist. “Can I explain it to them?”

  I nod, trying to keep the tears I wasn’t prepared to shed from spilling. “Cole told you?”

  “Yeah, well, I needed advice,” Cole admits. “I don’t know anything about corsages.”

  “Sunny never got to go to her prom,” Jeff explains. “So Romeo decided to re-create it for her tonight.”

  “Oh my God!” Emmy says. “Cole!”

  “Well, I never went to mine, either,” Cole says. “I know it’s silly, but I thought maybe tonight . . .”

  “You’d get porno sex in a cheap hotel room down the shore?” I ask.

  “Basically.”

  The flash goes off again when he takes me in his arms and kisses me, and if that wasn’t silly enough, he dips me right there in the living room as Jeff takes about fifty more photos. I’m going to be pissed if my tears ruin my perfect eyeliner detail.