The Institute

by Kayla Howarth

  ***

  I stay in the lobby of the training centre. Someone was supposed to show me where the cafeteria is, but they didn’t, and with my sense of direction, I don’t want to go to looking for it on my own. There’s another meal I’ve skipped. I didn’t eat any of the breakfast that was left at my door this morning either. I didn’t have time.

  I sit, watching people come and go through the lobby. I wonder how many of them are here voluntarily and how many have been tricked into doing this like I have. Children as young as twelve or thirteen walk past me. Are there really agents out there this young? Drew said he started when he was fifteen, and that’s not much younger than Shilah.

  I just can’t imagine Shilah doing this, going out into the world and deceiving people, pretending to like them, just to get close enough to find out their weakness and then use it against them. This is no place for him. This is no place for anyone.

  My train of thought is interrupted when I see someone familiar walk in. It’s him. I know him. I’ve seen his face many times, but I only ever took real notice the last time I saw it—in a missing person’s file on Ebbodine’s kitchen table. His ash blond hair is lighter than in his picture, and his five o’clock shadow is more prominent. It looks like he hasn’t actually shaved for days, possibly weeks; it makes him look rugged and tough. But this is Chad Williams, and last I heard, he was with Ebbodine before she disappeared. If he’s here, she might be too. For the first time since she disappeared, I feel hope. Maybe I’ll get to see my friend again. A part of me hopes she isn’t here, but I also really want to see her, to know that she’s alive.

  Chad walks right by me, glancing at me as he passes. It isn’t until he narrows his eyes and tilts his head in confusion that I realise I’m glaring at him.

  I hang my head. It was because of Ebb. I hope he doesn’t think I was ogling him, he’s not bad looking, but he’s completely not my type. Actually, he doesn’t look like Ebb’s type either. He’s not ugly, but he’s plain, and she could be quite shallow.

  As Chad disappears down the hall, ruining any potential plan to go talk to him, I see Lynch coming the opposite way.

  She leads me to a classroom. It smells of chalk and wood, presumably it’s coming from the blackboard located at the front. You can tell it’s old by the faded green tinge to it. I didn’t realise those things still existed. Small, uncomfortable-looking chairs with desks attached on the side fill the room, and there, sitting at one of the desks, is Chad.

  Lynch walks me over to him. “Allira, this is Chad. He’s been with us for a while but has just joined the training program and hasn’t had his official orientation yet,” she informs me. “By all means, take a seat.” She gestures to me to sit down, and I feel obligated to sit next to Chad. I don’t look at him though, I just focus on my hand playing with the corner of the notepad they’ve left on the desk.

  Lynch leaves, and we sit in silence. Here’s my chance, but do I ask him about Ebb now or later?

  I think I’ll choose later seeing as I need to summon the courage to even look at him, but as I do and I lift my head, I realise he’s already glaring at me.

  “How do I …” He’s studying my face, and I can’t help but feel self-conscious about the way I look. I run my tongue over my teeth—is there something stuck in them? “Oh, I know where I know you from. I’ve seen you around Eminent Falls High.”

  Wow, his tone couldn’t be any more apathetic if he tried. He looks back down at his desk, clearly uninterested in anything I have to say, but I don’t care, I have to ask.

  “I’m Ebbodine’s friend, is she here too?”

  Chad eyes widen in sudden panic. “No, she’s not here, and shh, I’m sure she wouldn’t want you talking about her in a place like this,” he says through gritted teeth, clearly trying to hold back anger.

  “But—”

  Chad looks at me with a stern face. “Not here,” he says.

  I stop talking and we go back to sitting in silence. I have no idea what Ebb ever saw in him. He’s not exactly pleasant.

  When the door opens, in walks a man I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting. Paxton looks like he could be on a campaign poster. His look is clean. He smiles and walks over to us.

  “Ahh, two more to add to the ranks, hey?” he says as he sits on the desk in front of us, his legs resting on the chair.

  He looks to me. “Nice to see you again, Allira.” I see out of the corner of my eye that Chad’s shocked by this.

  “And, you are …” He looks to Chad and then down at the piece of paper he has in his hand. “Chad? Is that correct?”

  Chad answers with a single nod. How someone can make a nod look so arrogant is beyond me, but he pulls it off flawlessly.

  “Ah, very well then. We’re just waiting on a few more to come, but in the meantime, how about you two fill these out for me.” He hands us a sheet of paper each with multiple-choice questions on it. “There’s no right or wrong answers, just put your opinions down,” he says, walking up to the front of the room and sitting behind his desk.

  I read the sheet of paper.

  Q1. Why is the Institute important?

  a) To keep dangerous people away from the general public

  b) For research, to find a cure

  c) It’s not important

  No right or wrong answers, yeah right. Well it’s obvious what answer they want us to put down, either A or B, but seeing as we’re in the field training office and Mr. Brookfield told me himself the research department is pathetic, I’d assume A is correct. I circle A and look over at Chad’s to see he has circled C. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Does he really think that will get him anywhere?

  The rest of the quiz is all similar questions, similar to the assignments we’re forced to do at school. I look at the desk next to mine. Chad has answered all of his questions completely honestly. Chad’s eyeing my piece of paper, too, a confused look on his face.

  “How did we go?” Paxton asks as he comes back over to us. We hand him our forms, and he skims over them before putting them down. “Okay, well, I’m just going to go check where these other new recruits are, and I’ll be right back.”

  Chad and I are alone again.

  “Is that how you really feel?” he asks, with a tone of judgement that can only be described as icy.

  “No, it’s not. I’m surprised you answered so honestly. Aren’t you afraid of what they’ll do?” I try matching his tone. I understand he doesn’t want to be here, neither do I, but I know I don’t have to be so openly bitter about it, especially in front of people who can send me back to the torturing.

  “It can’t be any worse than what they’ve already done.”

  “Oh.” I can’t think of anything else to respond to that. That’s where the bitterness comes from. I wonder if he endured a “welcoming” like I did.

  Paxton comes back in with two other kids, and they really are kids. They look like twins, I’d guess around twelve years old. Again, I’m shocked that there are people this young living here, but I guess it’s true that a lot of people here would’ve been this age when they came to live here.

  Most defects are triggered at a young age. It’s just hard to get used to, knowing that there are teenagers and young children living without any real adult guidance or role models, being told from the age of twelve that they’re old enough to make their own decisions, that they’re now responsible enough to be classed as an adult. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

  Paxton heads to the front of the class and addresses us. “Well, this is it for the day, so I guess we can really get started now. I’m Paxton, I’m in charge of showing you around here and familiarising you with what’s going to happen over the coming weeks and months, what you’ll be taught, and so forth. So we do have quite a few things to get through.”

  I adjust the way I’m sitting so I get a bit more comfortable. It seems like we’ll be here a while. I let out a sigh and watch as Paxton starts writing on the chalkboard
.

  “Okay, so I’ll quickly go through what generally happens while you’re here. You’ve all had meetings with your advisers and they’ve chosen which classes you’ll take. I have your schedules here for you when we’re done, so I’ll just use this one here as an example. Allira, this is what Lynch has set up for you.”

  He examines the paper in front of him and writes the following in boxes on the board: Self-Defence/Combat, Fitness, History, Covert Operations, Analysis.

  “What this basically means is you’re on the fast track to get in the field as soon as possible. Others like Samuel and Gabriel here, you’re only scheduled for an ability class and history class which means it’ll be a while before you’re sent out into the world.”

  Can’t I have that schedule? The thought of being sent out earlier than other new people is a little overwhelming.

  “So your job and responsibility is to make sure you show up for classes, do your best, and then following an exam—which is administered at a time when your advisers deem suitable, you’ll be given an experienced partner and be sent out into the field for your first assignment. Boys down the front, like I said, you’re only scheduled for the two classes right now, but once you’re able to get a handle on those abilities, more classes will come your way. You’ll be going through the program slower, but you’ll get the most extensive training and therefore, generally will make better agents.” He looks over to me when he says that and gives a look of disapproval. What he’s disapproving of I have no idea. It wasn’t my idea to be fast tracked.

  I wonder what Chad’s schedule is. His presence makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like he’s constantly glaring at me. I hope we don’t have any classes together.

  “So that’s how training works, does anyone have any questions? No? Good. Let’s go.” Paxton walks out of the room before we even have a chance to respond, and the four of us are left looking around at each other. Do we follow him? Before anyone asks, Paxton is back at the door. “Well, come on.”

  We all stand and follow him out of the door.

  We’re shown around the training centre, where our classes will be, and the easiest way to get there. I kind of wish I had thought to bring the pen and paper that was on my desk so I could write some of this down. I’ve been trying to memorise where we’re going, but all of these halls look the same.

  I’ve also embarrassingly walked into the back of Chad twice when we’ve stopped at a new location, while I’ve been too busy trying to take in corridor numbers and counting doors. That was not met with amusement. I just want today to be over with already.

  Paxton finally dismisses us, and I turn and start walking towards the exit—or what I think is the exit. Needless to say, it doesn’t take me long before I’m lost. I knew I should’ve written directions down.

  I don’t pass a single person in the halls, and I’ve lost count of how many security doors I’ve been through. Maybe if I just turn around and try to trace my steps backwards, I’ll find it.

  I walk through a door, and there’s something familiar about where I am. If I turn left here, I should come to the entry to where The Crypt is. I think.

  It’s actually pretty aptly named. It felt like a crypt, cold and depressing, never having hope of seeing the light of day again.

  Honey, I’m home, I telepathically say to Tate as I reach the top of the stairs, proud that I was actually able to find my own way, even if it was by accident.

  ‘Ah, how did your first day go?’

  Today was long.

  ‘I hope the big kids weren’t too mean on the playground.’

  No, just one—he was such an ass.

  Just as I reach Tate’s cell, the smile is wiped from my face when I see how small this world really is.

  “Allira, this is —”

  “We’ve met,” Chad says.

  “Umm, hi,” I say awkwardly. What is he doing down here?

  ‘He’s my cousin. How do you two… oh, he’s the ass you met today, isn’t he?’ Tate laughs. ‘Typical.’

  I suppose I can expect more delightful behaviour from him? Great, I can’t wait. I roll my eyes causing Tate to laugh again.

  Chad looks at each of us. “You’re doing it right now aren’t you?”

  “Doing what?” I ask, as I shoot Tate a look. He knows what I can do?

  “Yeah, he knows,” Tate responds.

  I thought it was imperative to keep this part of me a secret?

  ‘It is, but you can trust him.’

  Hmm, if you say so. I’m hesitant to trust anyone I don’t know and the fact Tate has told Chad anything about me kind of pisses me off. Tate laughs yet again, and Chad and I just glare at him.

  “Something funny?” I ask.

  “Yeah, you two. You have no idea how much alike you are.” I look at Chad but quickly glance back at Tate when I see Chad’s also looking at me, just as pleased as I am with that comparison.

  “If you say so,” Chad says with the same hostile tone I was met with earlier today.

  Tate changes the subject. “So, have you seen Drew today?” he asks me.

  “No, and I’m hoping he has got the message, even if that message is that you and I are together.”

  Chad starts laughing. “You two? Together? That’s pretty hilarious.”

  Tate shoves Chad playfully. “She knows about me, but the guards don’t, and it was the only way I could get in her cell without arousing suspicion.”

  “I still can’t believe there are people who don’t immediately know about you,” Chad scoffs.

  “Hey, I didn’t … of course, once I was told, it was completely obvious, but it didn’t immediately come across that way,” I try to defend myself.

  I hear Chad think, ‘A little slow on the uptake, Allira?’

  I can feel a frown cross my face.

  ‘Allira, you can’t get angry at Chad’s thoughts when you’re the one listening in. It’s hard not to say anything, I know—trust me, I know. He didn’t mean anything by it. We grew up together so, of course, he sees things differently than new people. The truth is, not many people know about me, and I prefer to keep it that way. Chad doesn’t understand because our grandparents’ generation had to fight so hard for equal rights. There was a time when being gay meant you weren’t allowed to marry and weren’t allowed to serve in the military. Chad thinks I’m being disrespectful, but it’s not about that, it’s just easier keeping it to a select few. It’s already come in handy—it got me into your cell, didn’t it? It’s not like I don’t understand what fighting for equal rights is like, here we are sixty years later and we’re doing the same thing. You’d think society would’ve learnt not to discriminate against those who are different by now.’

  So Chad’s gay too? Is my gaydar broken?

  Tate laughs. ‘No, Chad is definitely not gay.’

  “You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” Chad says, shaking his head, “It’s just like when we were kids. I’m going to leave you two alone, you might need some ‘couple’ time.” He smiles, and I realise that it’s the first time I’ve seen him with anything but a scowl on his face.

  For a split second, I see a glimmer of what Ebb must have been attracted to. With a smile on his face, he doesn’t look so cold or distant, he actually looks like a human being and not a robot. But just as quickly as the smile comes, it leaves, along with Chad himself.

  “He’s just passionate, that’s why he scowls all the time.”

  “Passionate … I guess that’s a friendly way of putting it,” I retort.

  “Well, it’s better than describing him as angry. It’s not his fault though, I’m the reason he’s here. He wasn’t actually arrested like I told you, he turned himself in, to find me. He’s just frustrated that we’re all in this situation to begin with. He thinks there needs to be a change in the world.”

  “Well, that, I agree with,” I say before hanging my head. “I don’t know what I’ve got myself into,” I say, finally admitting I’m in way
over my head. “I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was saving Shilah from having to do it, but he doesn’t understand. He just wants to live on the outside, and I’ve ended up agreeing to let him. I was so proud of myself for negotiating with Brookfield, and now I’ve been duped into giving that up, and it’s only my first day. What are they going to get me to agree to in a week, a month?” I feel like I’m already failing.

  Tate pats the spot next to him on his bed, and I go and sit up against the wall with my head in his shoulder, just like I did yesterday. “You’re not failing, Allira. You’re doing what you have to, to survive this place, this life.” ‘I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same thing if I didn’t have a different ability.’

  “I’m scared I’ll end up hating myself. Although, they aren’t very impressed with me already, I might not even pass my exams. I overheard the psych lady telling the director she doesn’t think I’ll be able to arrest anyone.”

  “She’s ambitious. I’d be more worried about you blowing your cover before anything else.” He’s smiling and I assume he’s joking, but it’s probably true. “You’ll do fine. Maybe you could take whatever they teach you and use it against them, sabotage a few assignments.”

  “Sure—because as you just pointed out, I’d be so good at espionage when I can barely hide my emotions as it is.”

  “I just don’t want you to turn into one of them, and I know you feel the same. If letting someone get away every now and then helps suppress the guilt, it might be a small enough win to make you not hate yourself. It’s just an idea.”

  “How did you get to be so smart?”

  “By the time you get to my age, my old, old age,” he laughs, “you’ll be just as wisdomous and awesome as me.”

  “So awesome that I’ll know wisdomous isn’t a real word?” I grin.

  “It’s so a word,” Tate exclaims.

  “I don’t think so.”