Heart Unbroken

by Andrew Grey

  “You deserve better than someone as used up as I am.”

  Lee tapped his right foot. “We’re back to this, are we? You making decisions for me.”

  Damn, that wasn’t what he’d intended, and the urge to lie to Lee was there, the easy way out sitting on the tip of his tongue. “I knew Reggie before I met you.”

  “And he’s sick. He smelled like he wasn’t well. Sort of sour. He’s been sick for a while. Is it hepatitis or HIV?”

  Dang, Lee didn’t miss much. “HIV. He and I were together once, and he told me that I needed to get tested. I did. It came back negative.” Dean sighed.

  “Is that it? Did you think I wouldn’t be there for you or that I couldn’t handle it? What about all those things you told my parents? Were they lies? Because as soon as something happened, you turned away from me.”

  Dean’s head spun. “I didn’t want to expose you to the crap that was my life. Reggie thought he might have given me the disease, so I got tested. I didn’t want you to be part of that.” He looked over at the mostly empty garage. “I thought I’d escaped, but I didn’t… not really.” He swallowed hard. “The last few years have been ugly, and I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. When you were in school, did you ever have to read The Picture of Dorian Grey? I saw the movie, and I’m him. I don’t have some picture that takes on all my ugliness, but it’s still there. I feel like I did all the things he did to damn his soul, but I don’t want you to be tainted by them.”

  “I didn’t read it. But I know about the story.” Lee sighed and paused. “Is Reggie going to be okay? Did he say?” Lee asked, the kindness in his voice coming through the way it always did.

  “I don’t know. He looked sick, but he said he was eating again and he had gained some weight back. He said he’d found a regimen that was working for him and that there was hope he could get back on even ground. I hope that happens for him.”

  “Did you know him well?” Lee asked.

  Dean shook his head without thinking. “No. That’s just it. Reggie and I got together once. Nothing more. I had dozens of encounters like the one I had with him. I remember some, but most of them are just nameless faces, people I used to forget the hurt.” He should have found a better way to go about it.

  “I don’t understand. When was the last time you acted like that?” Lee took a step closer.

  “A couple of months ago. The entire scene wasn’t making me happy.”

  “And did I?” Lee asked.

  “Yes.”

  “So you’re willing to let what you did then cast a shadow over me—over the possibility of us? Is that what you want? Does that make sense?” Lee turned away and slowly retraced his steps back to where Scott worked. He placed his hand on Scott’s back and then returned to work.

  Dean watched him, wondering what in the hell he was doing.

  “How are things working out?” Trevor asked as he strode inside. “Is the space what you had envisioned?”

  Dean pulled his thoughts back to where they should be. “It’ll get there. We need to finish setting up the paint area. I figure I’ll do that this weekend.” The ting of a tool ringing on concrete caught his attention, and his gaze traveled to Lee. When he turned back to Trevor, he found a scowl crossing his lips. “What?”

  Trevor tipped his head toward the office, and Dean followed him inside. “What’s going on between you two?” Trevor scowled again. “Look, I’m the one who has to make sure everything is running right, not just here, but at the other six locations. So I can’t be your Agony Aunt. I know something is wrong because Lee talked to James and Scott, and of course James told me, so here I fucking am, trying to sort out your crappy love life instead of getting work done.” Man, he was really pissed off.

  “Just some shit that bubbled up.”

  “Yeah, I heard. So what? You have a bunch of it in your past. So do I. Don’t let it stink up your present or what you might have.” Trevor sat down. “Now let’s get back to work. I put together a budget for the next six months. It’s tight, but I was conservative. We need to go over this, and you need to live within it, unless you bring in more business than we expected….”

  He and Trevor got down to work, and Dean tried to put Lee out of his head.

  “SOMETIMES YOU’RE a real jerk,” Lee said when Dean called him after work.

  “I know. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I was being selfish.” Dean lay on his bed, trying not to be nervous.

  “Why?” Lee demanded. “Because it was easier to walk away than have a blind guy for a boyfriend?”

  “No. Your blindness has nothing to do with it. This was all me getting shit mixed up in my head. I’m sorry. Reggie and all that business threw me for a loop. I got tested and I’m fine. But what if there’s something else in my past, just waiting to rise up and bite me in the ass?”

  “Like what? You partied a little hard for a few years. It isn’t like you broke the law or hurt people. You had sex and drank a lot. So what? Lots of guys do that stuff.” Lee grew quiet for a few seconds. “You need to decide what you want. God knows being with a blind man isn’t a picnic, but….”

  Dean sat up. “This has nothing to do with you. I want to be with you more than anything. Don’t you understand? What if I’m not good enough for you?” His hand shook, and he nearly dropped the phone.

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Lee sounded angry. “I can make my own decisions, and…. You know…. Then again, if you won’t talk to me and ask me what I want, maybe you aren’t the one for me.”

  “I want to be,” Dean said softly. “I really do.”

  “Then ask me what I want, and don’t do all those grand, ridiculous gestures like they do in the movies. Those people screw things up because they think all that nonsense is worth something.” Lee sighed loudly. “All I need are people in my life who care about me, who see me as a man just like any other. And this man knows what and who he wants in his life. So you had a scare. Maybe that’s what you needed in order to realize that you have something worth losing.”

  Dean’s heart beat faster. “How can you take all this in stride?” It seemed too good to be true. “The ugliness of this world, the things people do, they leave a mark. I didn’t realize it then, but I know it now.”

  “Pffft,” Lee said. “We all have a past. Mine isn’t squeaky-clean either. But it’s not what life leaves on us—it’s what we allow to settle on our soul. That was Dorian Grey’s sin. He went through life hurting others and not caring. He lived a life of earthly pleasure, unstained on the outside. But inside, it tainted and rotted his soul.”

  “I see…,” Dean said, again surprised by Lee.

  “Look, I have to go because Mom is calling me. But tomorrow we can—”

  A crash sounded in the background, and Dean was on his feet before he realized it. A woman screamed, and then it was quiet. “What happened?”

  “Broken glass somewhere in the house.” There was more yelling in the background, with Lee’s parents’ voices tumbling over each other. “Someone threw a rock through one of the windows. That’s what Dad says.”

  “I’m on my way,” Dean told him before racing out of the bedroom. He got his shoes on and ran out to the car, barely realizing he was still clutching his phone. The drive took a hell of a lot longer than he could stand, but in reality it was probably only a few minutes. Dean pulled to a stop in front of the house and hurried up to the front door. He knocked, and Neil opened it. “I was talking to Lee on the phone. What happened?”

  Neil stepped back. “I think we’d better stay out of the living room. The police are going to want to see the mess. Someone threw a rock through the window. It’s got a note attached, but none of us has touched it.”

  “Good. Where are Jane and Lee?” Dean asked as Neil closed the door after him.

  “They’re okay.”

  Dean followed Neil through the house, avoiding the random shards of broken glass littering the floor. Lee sat at the table, shak
ing, while Jane drank water from a glass, her unsteady hands making that simple action difficult. Neil did his best to calm her, and Dean sat next to Lee. “It’s going to be okay. The police are on their way,” Dean said. “Do you think Cliff did this? I heard him at the restaurant the other night. He really hates me.” Lee shook more.

  “There’s no telling why people do things like this. But don’t worry, the police will get to the bottom of it.” Dean held Lee’s hand while they waited.

  Dean waited with Lee until a police car pulled into the drive. Once he saw them, Neil went to the door to show the officers in. Dean stayed out of the way, but watched from the kitchen doorway as they carefully picked up the rock, wearing gloves, and removed the note. One officer continued working the scene while an Officer Carter showed Lee the note. Neil and Jane joined them at the table.

  “It seems someone is angry with you.”

  “He can’t read that,” Dean explained. “Lee is blind.” He held Lee closer. “I can read you the note, but it’s pretty cold.”

  “Just tell me.”

  “Lee, you’ve taken what doesn’t belong to you, and now you’re going to have to make things right. You’ll know how soon enough.” Dean hated reading the words, knowing they were meant for Lee. Dean wanted to protect him from shit like this.

  “That has to be from Cliff,” Lee said. “He’s mad because he thinks I took the job he deserved at the shop.”

  “Who is Cliff?” the officer asked.

  “He was a coworker who was fired recently because he was harassing me at work,” Lee explained. But when he added what he’d heard at the restaurant, Dean was shocked. He wondered why Lee hadn’t said anything about it before, but this wasn’t the time to ask. He could do that later.

  The police had questions for everyone, including Dean, and then got someone to come out to seal the window.

  “If you haven’t called your insurance company, I suggest you do that first thing. In the meantime, we’ll check the rock and paper to see if we can get anything off them. I’d also like to talk to your boss.”

  “I can give you his number,” Dean offered. “Lee and I both work for him.” Dean used a Post-it Note by the house phone to write down Trevor’s direct number and handed it to the policeman.

  “Is there anything else you can tell us?” another officer asked, once she was finished. Her name tag read Officer Kendall.

  “I don’t think so. I didn’t even know anyone had a problem with me until Cliff started messing with my tools.” Lee’s lower lip quivered. “And now it’s come to this—someone going after me at home.” He turned to Dean. “Maybe I should just try to find another job. It would be safer for me and my folks. Mom could have been sitting in that room when it happened….”

  “Sir.” The officer’s voice was kind yet firm, and the gentle way she spoke made it clear she understood how he felt, as if she’d been there herself once. “The only person with a problem is the jerk who did this. You aren’t to blame, and you shouldn’t quit your job over it. All that would do is allow this guy to win. We’ll do our best to find who’s behind this, but you will need to be careful. Pay special attention around you when you’re out and at work. If you hear anything, give us a call. All of you.” Her voice held so much compassion, Dean felt he could finally breathe.

  Jane’s eyes were still huge, as though still in a state of shock, whereas Neil seemed primed to take on the world. He sat rigid in his chair, as if ready to defend his family to the death, should the need arise.

  Dean was trying to keep his cool, but his heart still raced at the thought that Lee could have been hurt. “She’s right, Lee. You love your job, and you can’t let someone scare you away. No matter what. Trevor won’t give Cliff or any of his cronies the chance they seem to want.” He patted his shoulder and motioned to the police officer. She nodded, and Dean followed her out of the house.

  “What can I do for you?”

  “There is too much happening for my peace of mind. We went out to Dance, Dance, Dance about a week ago, and a guy assaulted Lee. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and tried to drug him. We got Lee away in time, but then the guy showed up once again when he and I were having lunch. I have no idea if this is related to what’s been happening to Lee at work, but there just seems to be too much going on in too short a period of time.”

  “Do you know this man’s name?” she asked, pulling out her pad.

  “I only have a first name—Marshall. The owner of Ben’s, out at Port Washington and Brown Deer, might know more. I think she said she had a restraining order against him. The guy dresses like a cowboy, and Lee says he stinks. Not that that’s a big help.” Dean wished he had more to tell her. “He has shoulder-length black hair, stringy, with craggy skin. I suspect he’s spent a lot of time in the sun.”

  She finished making notes. “I’ll look into this. Did you report the incident at the club to the police?”

  “No. Lee was upset, and we just got him out of there. He didn’t consume much of the drug as far as well could tell. Lee felt like the man had made a fool of him by playing on his disability. At the time we thought he was just another jerk. I don’t know that there is any connection between this cowboy and the people Lee works with, but something is niggling the back of my mind. It might be nothing, but I thought I would mention it.”

  She nodded. “I’ll follow up with Lee’s boss and see if I can find this man. If he’s a predator of some kind, we need to find out what he’s up to and what kind of danger he poses.” At least she didn’t dismiss Dean’s theory outright. “But I have to ask. Do you have anything concrete to make you think all this is related?”

  “Unfortunately, no. But Lee has lived a pretty quiet life. He’s never had any trouble at work as far as I know, and nobody has had a bad thing to say about him. And yet now he’s being harassed at clubs, at work, and even at home. I don’t like it.”

  She closed her notebook. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thank you, officer. I appreciate it.” Dean hated that Lee seemed to be someone’s target. Maybe Dean had read too many detective novels and was seeing things where there was nothing, but he kept asking himself, what if the same person was behind all of these incidents—at work and the club? Was there someone watching Lee closely enough to juggle all these moving pieces? And if so, why?

  Dean went back inside and found Lee, Jane, and Neil sitting at the table with the other police officer. They were trying to answer the officer’s questions, but in most cases, they didn’t have anything definitive. Dean could see Lee getting more and more frustrated.

  “I don’t want to be afraid all the time,” Lee complained.

  “Of course you don’t,” the officer agreed.

  Lee shook his head, hard. “You don’t get it. I live in fear all the time. At work, I’m worried that I’ll take a wrong step and fall in the pit. But I’ve learned to accept that. Heck, I could trip on a loose piece of carpet or a rough piece of concrete. It has happened. I fall more than I like to admit, but I still get up and try again. But this? This is terrifying.”

  “Honey, it will be okay,” Jane said.

  “How, Mom? You can see things coming. I can’t. Shit takes me by surprise all the damned time, and I’m tired of it. I’d kill to have some part of my life be predictable so I’d know what to expect.”

  “Son,” Neil said gently. “Believe it or not, whether you can see or not has little to do with having a predictable life. Your mother and I are taken off guard all the time. What matters is how you deal with what happens.”

  Lee nodded and became quiet, which worried Dean. He’d been around Lee enough to know that silence was bad. If Lee was angry, he got vocal. But silence? That meant internalization and fear. “So what do I do? Just sit around and wait for someone to try again?”

  “No. Cliff is gone from the shop—Trevor isn’t going to let him anywhere near the place again. And he’s watching Cliff’s cronies. They’ll be out on their ears if they take one step
out of line. As for this—” Dean gestured to the broken window. “—whoever did this is nothing but a coward.” He was so angry, he could barely see straight, but he kept it together because that was what Lee and his family needed at the moment. He could rant and rave at home when he was alone.

  “Dean is right,” Neil added, looking at Lee and then Jane. “We can’t let someone like this scare us into hiding and not living our lives. The insurance company told me to have the window repaired, so I’ll call someone to do that tomorrow. The police were helpful and called someone to board it up temporarily, so it’ll be okay until then. For now let’s just stay out of that room until the mess can be cleaned up.”

  “I don’t want to stay here tonight,” Jane said.

  “I have room at my house,” Dean offered. “There’s the guest room, and I have a day bed in the room I use as an office. I can stay there.” He didn’t need to go into the details. Just the thought of having Lee in his bed, even sleeping alone, made him happy and got his engine running, even at an inappropriate time like this. “Go ahead and pack some things if you’d like.”

  “Are you sure?” Jane asked. “We can go to a hotel.”

  “Of course I’m sure. I have the room.”

  Jane nodded and left.

  “I appreciate you offering to help look after my family,” Neil said quietly. “Jane is very shaken up. She might come across as a tiger sometimes, but this has really unnerved her.”

  “I’m glad I can help,” Dean told him. “Lee, is there anything you need to take with you? You might want to get it now. The way your mom was hustling, I suspect she’s going to want to get going soon.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Lee said, and followed his mother, leaving Dean and Neil alone.

  “I’m worried about Lee,” Neil said. “The last couple of years have been better for him, but those first years after he lost his sight, Jane and I worried about him all the time. He didn’t seem to want to go on. Thank God for James—I don’t think Lee would have made it without his help. But it took a long time for Lee to get over his depression and start to really move on with his life. He’s done that now and has a job and good people in his life. But lately he’s seemed preoccupied and withdrawn because of what’s happening at work.” Dean sat next to Neil at the table.