TJ

by SJ McCoy

  “I appreciate it.”

  She nodded, wondering what he was going to say next.

  The silence lasted just long enough to get awkward before he spoke again. “Do you want to go on the date? I mean, Oscar and Grace think we should because of the whole bidding thing, but I totally get it if you don’t want to.”

  Her heart raced. He sounded nervous, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out if it was because he wanted her to say no—or yes. She’d had a couple of boyfriends, nothing serious, but she wasn’t big on the whole dating scene and all the games that went with it. She didn’t have time for it, and she couldn’t understand why people didn’t just say what they meant. Life was too short not to be upfront and honest. “I’d love to, but I don’t want you to feel you have to. If it’s a duty or an obligation, I’d rather not bother. But if you think it might be fun, then I think it would, too.”

  There were another few moments of silence. Had she blown it?

  He sounded like he was smiling when he spoke again. “I think it would be fun.”

  A smile spread across her face. “Great. Did they set something up? Where should I meet you?”

  He was quiet again. “They did set something up, dinner at Mastro’s.”

  Dani’s heart sank. Mastro’s was amazing, but it’d hardly be a relaxed dinner. Not at one of the finest restaurants in Beverly Hills where the press lurked to see who they might spot. “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  “What time?”

  “The reservation is for eight. I thought we could go for cocktails first. Say, seven? Is that too early?”

  “No, that sounds great.” She could hardly look a gift horse in the mouth. It’d be fine.

  “Do you want to give me your address and I’ll pick you up? Or if you’re not comfortable with that, I can pick you up at Spider’s coffee shop.”

  “I’ll meet you at the coffee shop. Parking’s hard to find around my apartment.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then, I guess.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  “Me too.”

  ~ ~ ~

  TJ hung up and set his phone down, then rubbed his palms on his pants—they were sweating. He’d done it. He’d asked her, and she’d said yes. He rubbed two fingers over the crease between his eyebrows. He was glad she’d been straight with him. She wanted to go if he wanted to, but if it was just an obligation, she was out. He smiled. He liked that. His smile soon faded. Going out with her wasn’t an obligation but going to Mastro’s felt like one. It was a great place, but it wasn’t what he would have chosen. Oscar knew women better than he did, though, and it had been Oscar’s idea. He thought Dani would love it.

  He checked his watch. He still had time to kill before he needed to get ready to go to dinner at Oscar’s. He was looking forward to seeing his parents, but he wasn’t looking forward to their questions about the auction. To be fair, he knew they wouldn’t quiz him, but they’d want to know, and he didn’t know what to tell them. He knew Oscar would tell most of the story, but his mom would no doubt pull him aside. He shook his head He should be grateful that he still had them and that they cared so much about him. He thought about the guys at the center—guys his age—who’d served the same time as him, who’d come back to nothing. Or those who’d come back so broken that their families didn’t know what to do with them. He picked up his car keys from the kitchen counter. He had enough time to go back to the center for a while. He wanted to hang out with them. They didn’t have the option to go home to call a girl or to get ready to go to dinner with their families. All they had was the camaraderie at the center and a hot meal before they headed back out for the night. Some of them got beds at the shelter; most of them didn’t. They slept under the bridge. He went down there sometimes with Terry.

  Little Jayden came running to him as soon as he walked through the door. “TJ, TJ, TJ, come and play!”

  He picked the kid up and swung him around in the air. “Not right now, little bud. You play with the others.”

  “I don’t want to play with them. I want to play with you.”

  TJ set him down and ruffled his hair. “I’d like to play with you, too, but I have other stuff to do right now.”

  Jayden scowled at him.

  “Why would I want to play with someone who makes mean faces at me?” asked TJ.

  The kid’s smile was back in an instant. “It wasn’t a mean face; it was a sad face. But it’s okay. I’ll stay smiley, and then you’ll play with me when you can.”

  TJ picked the kid up and swung him around again. He felt bad. He’d been trying to teach the kid that looking mad wasn’t the way to get what you wanted from someone. He didn’t want him to think that he had to pretend to be happy when he wasn’t. Damn, if anyone knew how hard—and unhealthy—that was, he did. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

  “Promise?”

  TJ thought about it. He didn’t want to make a promise he couldn’t keep. “I can’t promise for certain that it’ll be tomorrow, just in case anything happens with work. But I promise I’ll make it up to you before the weekend’s over. Okay?”

  “Okay.” Jayden wrapped his arms around TJ’s leg and hugged him tight for a second then ran back to the other kids.

  That warm feeling flooded TJ’s heart. He was grateful for the hug? He shook his head and made his way over to the pool table where a couple of guys were playing, and a bunch more were hanging around. It made him smile to see them leaning on the bar, drinking soda.

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing much,” said Alex. “Are you looking forward to Friday night?”

  TJ nodded. “How about you?”

  Alex grinned. “I am! Stephanie’s awesome. I’ve talked to her twice this week already.” He looked around at the other guys. “She called me.”

  “Don’t you go getting ideas,” said Ron, one of the older guys. “You have to be the perfect gentleman. You’re not going on a date; you’re representing this place. Everyone’s depending on you.”

  Alex nodded. “I know. I’m only kidding around.” He took a slug of his soda. “I know it’s only a stunt. It’s just for show, but it sure does feel good talking to a woman. It feels like a normal life. You know?”

  The other guys nodded and muttered their agreement.

  “What are you doing back here?” asked Ron.

  TJ shrugged. “Honestly? I talked to Dani tonight, and we set up our date for Friday, and next, I’m supposed to be getting ready to go to Oscar’s for dinner with my folks. It feels like too much normal life in one day. I wanted to come down here and see you guys.”

  “I’d trade with you,” said Alex.

  “I know. I feel bad. I feel like I’m the little rich kid playing at it, but in the end, I don’t fit in there, and I don’t fit in here either.”

  “Don’t talk shit.” Daquan, who rarely said much of anything, looked up at him from his place on the sofa where he’d been reading a book.

  TJ raised his eyebrows at him. “It’s how I feel.”

  “Then you got it all wrong, man. You know as well as I do that when you get to feeling sorry for yourself is when it all falls apart.”

  “I’m not feeling sorry for myself.”

  “Maybe not yet, but you’re making yourself the outsider. Here and with family. You’re isolating yourself, and that never leads anywhere good. If I were you, I’d be counting myself a lucky man that I get to be the bridge between two worlds. Some of us end up here because we can’t handle our families when we come home—and they can’t handle us. You have a family when you can stand it, and you have us, too. You’re the bridge, not the island.”

  TJ stared at him for a long moment, as did the others. “How did you get so smart?”

  Daquan smiled and held up his book. “Reading.”

  TJ laughed. “You’ve always got your nose in one of those, and I thought it was just a way to make sure no one speaks to you
.”

  Daquan shrugs. “Maybe so. But I don’t mind talking when there’s a conversation worth having.”

  “I think maybe you should lead a conversation on how we step things up around here.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’d like to think we can do more—more to find permanent places to live and more to get families back together and more to find jobs or to create them.”

  “That’s a conversation I wouldn’t mind having but keep your feet on the ground. We can make changes, but we can’t work miracles.”

  TJ nodded and looked around at them. “I think I can safely say that none of us believe in miracles anymore.”

  “That’s true.”

  TJ turned to see Terry who had wheeled himself to join them. “But just because we don’t believe in ‘em don’t mean they don’t happen.” He grinned around at everyone. “You telling me it’s not a miracle that I have a date on Friday night?”

  They all laughed at that. Even TJ, until he met Terry’s steely blue gaze. “Don’t ever close yourself down to the possibility of a miracle, son. You’ve seen the worst of life, I’ll give you that. But there’s balance in all things. There’s as much beauty in life as there is ugliness—if you’re prepared to see it.”

  Chapter Eight

  Dani checked herself over in the mirror and smiled. Roberto had done her proud once again. Thanks to him, an inordinate amount of her paycheck found its way to Hayes every month. She didn’t mind though. Roberto was a star, and the girl who owned the place, Holly, was great. It was rare to catch her in the store these days—she’d gotten married and moved to some small town up in the hills—but Dani had been quite friendly with her when she still lived here.

  She ran her hands down the front of the dress to smooth it. This wasn’t what she’d normally wear on a date, but then she wouldn’t normally be going to Mastro’s either. She’d been there, but only to cover events or people. It was outside her price range—and if she was honest, it was outside of her comfort zone, too, and not in a good way. She knew how to do dress-up and play the game, but she was more relaxed just hanging out, wearing jeans, and going for a burger or a walk on the beach. She laughed. She doubted that would be TJ’s idea of fun.

  She checked her watch. She needed to get moving. She wished she’d asked where they were going before she’d said she’d meet him at the coffee shop. She wasn’t looking forward to walking there in these heels, but there was nothing for it now. She picked up her purse and looked herself over again. “You’ll do,” she told her reflection. She went into the kitchen to collect her purse and stopped dead in front of the fridge. Days could go by without her noticing the photos, but sometimes he caught her eye and smiled out at her. The handsome marine in full dress uniform, smiling in the sunshine, one arm around her shoulders, the other around her mom’s. Tears pricked her eyes. She kissed her fingertip and touched it to his cheek. “Don’t give me a hard time; it’s just one date.”

  She swallowed and blinked away the tears, then hurried out.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Do you want me to go around the block or park?” asked Darren.

  “Park. There’s a space over there. I’m going to go inside and wait for her.”

  Darren eased the limo into the space and turned to smile at him. “And don’t give me any shit. I know you park it better than I do, but that wasn’t bad.”

  TJ smiled. “It was perfect.” Normally he liked to rag on Darren; he could park the limo in any tight space with ease, while Darren, who had been driving it for years, sometimes struggled. Tonight, his mind wasn’t on the banter. It was on Dani and how this might go. He wished he’d told Oscar that Mastro’s wasn’t right for him, but he’d kept his mouth shut—which was dumb. Now he was stressed about going there on top of being nervous about going on his first date in longer than he cared to think about.

  Darren gave him a reassuring smile. “Relax, would you? You’re going to have fun. She’s going to be wowed by you. It’s all good. You’re going to have a great time.”

  TJ nodded, already reaching for the door handle. “I hope I won’t be too long. She’s supposed to be here at seven.”

  “She’ll be here when she gets here. She’s a woman. We’ll wait.”

  TJ frowned. He knew that was how it worked for a lot of guys, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with it.

  He got out and crossed the street to the coffee shop, then stopped outside. He hadn’t thought to check with Spider. There was a band playing tonight. He couldn’t go in there to wait for her. He’d never even see her come in. He’d just have to wait outside.

  He checked his watch and looked both ways down the street. It didn’t help that he didn’t know what direction she’d be coming from—or that the coffee shop was on the corner so she could be coming from anywhere.

  His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket. Was she going to cancel on him now? He looked back across the street with a rueful smile as he answered. “What’s up, Darren?”

  Darren chuckled. “I know you’ve been out of the game for a while, but you’re supposed to go inside and meet her there.”

  TJ made a face, not sure if Darren would see it from over there. “I know! I’m nervous, not stupid. I stayed out here because there’s a band playing inside.”

  “Ah. Gotcha. Have you made sure she’s not already in there waiting for you?”

  “Err. No. You think she might be early?”

  “Some chicks are. You’d be better off checking than screwing up the whole night by you waiting out there and her waiting inside.”

  “True. I’ll go see. Thanks, Darren.”

  Darren chuckled. “My pleasure.”

  TJ let himself in and looked around. The place was packed. There was no sign of Dani, but he doubted he’d spot her even if she was there. He had to believe that if she had arrived early, she would have come back outside. Spider waved to him from behind the counter. TJ raised a hand but didn’t want to disturb him. He looked to be busy enough. Spider didn’t think so. He came out and pushed his way through the crowds. TJ would have thought that would be an easy feat for a guy of Spider’s size and build, but it turned out to be surprisingly difficult—because of all the women who gravitated to him and hung on to his arms as he went. TJ had to smile. Spider looked about as comfortable as he felt.

  “You’re meeting her here?” Spider asked when he finally reached him.

  “I know! I should have checked with you first. I didn’t think about the band.”

  “You’d be better off waiting outside. Catch her before she comes in.”

  TJ had to smile. “Yeah. That’s what I thought, then I had to check if she’d come in already.”

  Spider grinned. “Nope. You’re safe. Now get your ass back out there before she arrives.” To his surprise, Spider grasped his shoulder. “You got this.”

  He shook his head as he walked back outside. It seemed everyone was rooting for him—and had more faith in him than he did.

  He took up position outside the front door and checked every direction. He assumed she’d be walking, but she might take a cab. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He needed to relax. It was like Oscar had said—just one evening. One date. There was nothing to be nervous about. He could relax; maybe enjoy himself if he chose. The evening stretched ahead in the company of a beautiful woman, a woman he already knew he liked. If he could forget that she was a journalist, then he could admit that he liked what he’d seen of her, as a person. He smiled. He knew he’d liked the way she felt next to him when he’d hugged her on stage at the auction. Maybe at the end of the evening, he’d get another one of those hugs. Maybe even the kiss he hadn’t wanted to go for with the whole world watching. He could feel himself starting to relax. If he kept it simple and focused on the simple pleasures of a first date, he could enjoy himself.

  He checked both ways again and then went to the corner to see if she was coming tha
t way. She was. A smile spread across his face. She looked amazing. She smiled when she saw him and increased her pace. He set out to meet her. He wasn’t going to stand here and let her come to him, plus this way he’d have a few moments with her out of Darren’s sight.

  “I’m sorry I’m a bit late,” she said when she was almost to him.

  “You’re not, you’re right on time.”

  “Oh, good.” She was smiling at him, her eyes sparkling. She seemed genuinely pleased to see him.

  When she reached him, he held his arms open wide. She looked surprised but leaned in and hugged him. He was surprised at himself but glad that he’d done it. She felt so good next to him; her arms felt right as she hugged him back. He breathed in the scent of her—she smelled like strawberries—then he reluctantly let her go and stepped back. “You look great, and you smell great, too.”

  She laughed.

  “Was that a dumb thing to say?”

  “No! I was laughing at myself, not at you. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice the strawberry smell. I’m writing a piece on a new line of hair products. They’re all natural and made with ingredients you wouldn’t expect. I tried the strawberry shampoo tonight, and it’s a bit strong.”

  He smiled. “I like it.”

  “That’s a relief. I was dreading that you might be allergic to strawberries or something.”

  “No. I love them; in fact, they’re one of my favorites and the smell reminds me of home.”

  “Home?”

  “Montana. It’s not home anymore. It’s where I grew up. My parents still live there for part of the year. I still have a house there.” Why was he telling her that? He didn’t know. He shrugged. “I’ve been meaning to find the time to get up there.”

  “Wow. You should do it. Make the time. If I had a place to go in Montana, I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way. I’d make it happen. Sometimes you just need to get out of this city, and I can’t think of a better place than Montana for some R and R.”

  He tensed. Why would she use that expression? It wasn’t something civvies normally said. But what did it matter—he was supposed to be relaxed, not questioning her choice of words. “You’re right. I should. The car’s around the corner. Shall we?” He offered her his arm, and she linked hers through it with a smile.