TJ

by SJ McCoy

  “Yep. It’s like she grabbed me by the collar and dragged me out of the past and into the present. She’s made me see that you don’t have to leave the past behind in order to have a future.”

  “She sounds like a smart young lady.”

  “She is, but it’s not like she just turned around and told me that. We’ve kind of figured it out together by helping each other. She lost her brother.”

  “I know, your mom told me. She also said that it doesn’t sound like she has much to do with her parents anymore. I think she wants to adopt her.”

  TJ chuckled. “Well tell her she can’t.”

  “She seems to think Dani might join the family another way.”

  TJ sucked in a deep breath. “Is she there?”

  “Yes. Hopping from one foot to another and making impatient noises at me. Do you want me to hand you over?”

  “No. Do me a favor, put it on speaker so I can talk to you both?”

  “Okay. You’re on.”

  “TJ! How close are you? She’s adorable. I love her.”

  TJ shook his head in amusement. “I love her, too.”

  “Oh, TJ!”

  “Is that what you meant about making her part of the family?”

  “Yes.”

  They were both silent for a moment. He knew they’d be making faces at each other.

  “Go on, I can hear you silently telling each other how shocked you are. Say something out loud, or I might hang up.”

  “Don’t you dare!” said his mom.

  “Obviously, your mother is thrilled. I’m happy, but more cautious. You haven’t known her for very long. How do you know this is it?”

  “She’s his person!” said his mom. “Just like Grace is Oscar’s person.”

  TJ knew his dad was waiting for his mom to finish.

  “I’m not disapproving, son. I’m cautious. That’s all.”

  “He hasn’t met her, TJ. He can’t know.”

  “It’s okay, Mom. Listen, Dad, I know you’re only concerned about me, but there’s no need to worry. Dani’s it. I know she is. She gets me. And she’s been through stuff of her own. She’s not afraid to be there for me, and she lets me be there for her. We’re neither of us perfect, we’re both still a little bit broken, but we’re helping each other heal. I want to ask her to marry me.”

  “What’s the rush, though?” asked his dad.

  TJ swallowed. “There isn’t any rush. It’s what I want. Dani and I both learned the hard way, that tomorrow is never guaranteed, even when you’re young and you think you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, it can all be snatched away in a moment. Jonesy and Mac and Finn—they don’t get to be with the women they loved or to see their kids or any of it. They’re dead. They don’t get to live. I want to live, live the heck out of every day, and I want to share that with her. I believe she wants to share it with me.”

  “But you won’t know for sure until you ask her?”

  “Exactly, but I wanted to talk to you guys before I do.”

  “I say do it,” said his mom. “I’ve been hoping for a wedding ever since I met her.”

  “Thanks, Mom. What about you, Dad?” He understood his dad’s caution, but he wanted his approval. It was important to him.

  “How can I argue with what you just said?”

  “You can do what you always do and counter an emotional appeal with logic. I need to know if you think there’s some logic I’m missing. You guys are my foundation. I value what you think. So, tell me.”

  “I think you’re probably right, to grab hold with both hands and dive in. Commit to each other, make a life together. As long as you’ve been totally honest with her and she has with you. I know it wasn’t this serious, but that Kayla comes to mind. And it makes me nervous. Dani’s a reporter, too, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, and that made me cautious at first, too. But she isn’t a hard-nosed reporter at heart. She’s kind and caring—”

  “And sweet,” added his mom. “You’ll love her, Johnny. You just need to meet her, and you’ll understand.”

  “I’m going to trust you both on this,” said his dad. “But I know you’re looking for my blessing, and I can’t give it without meeting her.”

  “What time are you leaving tomorrow?” asked TJ.

  “We can stay for lunch,” said his mom.

  His dad chuckled. “I guess we’re all having lunch tomorrow then. Do you want to come up to the house—at noon? I need to be back at the clinic tomorrow evening.”

  “Okay. Let’s do that.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Dani paced the deck, waiting for him to arrive. She couldn’t wait to see him. He’d said he’d be here by eight-thirty and it was now ten after. She didn’t know if he’d managed to work his usual fifteen-minute lead time into this one. She hoped so. She looked up at the sky. It was still light, but the first stars were starting to appear in the fading blue. They weren’t kidding when they called Montana Big Sky Country. Somehow it made her feel closer to Matt. Not that she believed that he was up in the sky. Wherever heaven might be, she hoped he got to do something more interesting than sitting around on clouds all day. That’d bore him silly. She turned at the sound of tires on the gravel outside. TJ was here!

  She ran through the house and out the front door. She was halfway across the drive by the time he got out of the car. She flung herself at him and he caught her as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. “I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you, too. I was worried about you.”

  She cupped his face between her hands and planted a kiss on his lips. “There’s no need. I’m fine. But I don’t want to just be fine any more. I want to be happy again. There’s no point me spouting all that stuff about living to the max if Ic won’t allow myself to be happy while I’m doing it. I told you Matt would want me to live the best life I can. Well, he sure as hell wouldn’t be down with me being miserable on his behalf while I pay lip service to the idea of living.”

  TJ hugged her to his chest. “I’m glad you’re seeing it that way. But when you’re sad about him, you don’t need to go off and do it by yourself. I can be with you; I can be there for you, and I can learn about who he was.”

  She nodded. “I know. I get it now. Thank you.” She took hold of his hand. “Come on in. I hope you’re hungry because your mom brought enough to feed at least a dozen people.”

  He chuckled. “You’ll have to get used to that. She always does.”

  “Have you spoken to her?”

  He nodded. “I called them on the way here.”

  She wondered how that conversation had gone. She knew his mom liked her, but she wondered what they’d said to each other—and what his dad might think.

  “Do you want to have lunch with them?”

  “I’d love to. Your mom’s amazing. I’d like to meet your dad.”

  “Okay. We’ll do that then. For now, though. It’s just you and me and Matt.”

  Once they were settled out on the deck with a picnic made from less than a quarter of the goodies Jean had brought, Dani raised her glass to him in a toast. “Let’s drink to something.”

  TJ chuckled. “What do you want to drink to?”

  She shrugged. “Fallen soldiers, maybe?”

  He nodded solemnly and raised his glass to hers. “To brothers.”

  Dani swallowed. “Mine, yours, and everyone else’s who didn’t make it home.”

  They both stared out across the valley in silence for a few moments. She raised her glass again. “I think we should also drink to the ones who did make it home.”

  TJ nodded sadly. “Yeah. So many of them need so much help. It’s hard. I feel like I’ll never be able to do enough. No one person ever could. Sometimes it really grates on me. I mean, the book drive is a good idea. It’ll help. But it’s not getting anyone off the street. It’s not getting anyone a job or help with the booze or the drugs. It’s not’s going to talk anyone down
from the ledge.”

  Dani shook her head. “You can’t say that. You don’t know that. You told me yourself about the guy who suggested it. He’s not drinking like he used to since he’s been reading. Books are an amazing way to escape. You can’t say what reading won’t help with; all you can do is work to provide the books and hope that they will help.”

  TJ nodded. “Was Matt a big reader?”

  “He was. He used to read to me when we were small. I have a feeling he’d like your brother’s books.”

  He smiled at that and took hold of her hand. “I’d like to think so.”

  Dani looked up at the sky. It was dark now and a million stars twinkled down at her. “I miss him.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I know you do. I wish I’d known him.”

  “I do, too. It’s weird to think the two of you might have met and you just don’t know it.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that. Maybe we did. But I’ll always think of him as one of my brothers.”

  She squeezed his hand back. “Thank you. Do you want to tell me about your brothers?”

  He turned to look into her eyes, and she saw so much pain it hurt her heart. “I will, but not tonight. Tonight’s for Matt.” He raised his glass to the sky. “I promise I’ll take good care of your little sister. Oorah!”

  Her tears started up again at that, and he curled his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer. “Always.”

  She buried her face in his chest. “And I promise I’ll always do my best to take care of you. I won’t always know how, and you won’t always want me to, but I’ll try.”

  He dropped a kiss on her lips. “We’ll figure it out. It’s not about either of us knowing how to help. It’s about being there for each other and wanting to.”

  ~ ~ ~

  They spent the morning hanging out at the house. TJ had forgotten how much he loved it here, and Dani loved it, too. Maybe they’d end up like Oscar and Grace and come up on the weekends when they could. He smiled. He liked that idea. “Do you want to do anything over the next few days?”

  She shrugged. “We’re already doing it. I want to be with you. I wouldn’t mind going back to the park if you want to go. Oh, and I booked a trail ride for tomorrow afternoon. I can call and cancel or add you, if that’s something you want to do?”

  TJ smiled. “I haven’t been horseback riding in years. It’d be fun. Where did you book?”

  “Hang on. I wrote it down.” She went to check the pad she’d been using. “Remington Ranch. It’s halfway down the valley.”

  He had to laugh. “I know where it is. I used to be friends with one of the Remington brothers, Beau, when we were kids. And, you must know Hope?”

  She nodded. “She’s your cousin, right?”

  “Yeah. Her husband, Chance, has been part of the Remington family for nearly twenty years Let’s do it. It’d be good to go down there.”

  “Okay. I’ll call them now, but then we’d better get going. We don’t want to be late for lunch with your folks.”

  They walked to the big house. It surprised TJ just how right it felt to walk hand and hand with Dani up the driveway he’d played on with his brothers as a kid. She felt like she belonged here. This was right. He knew it. His mom did, too. He just hoped his dad would.

  The front door flew open before they reached it, and his mom stood there grinning at them. “Come on in! I’m so happy we get to do this.” She hugged Dani and then turned to TJ. “I’m so happy that you’re here, Teddy.”

  TJ scowled at the same time he heard Dani giggle. He turned to look at her. “Am I going to have to watch myself around the two of you?”

  Dani gave him innocent eyes and shrugged, but his mom just laughed. “You’d better believe it. Now come on in and see your dad.”

  His dad greeted them in the hallway with a warm smile. He hugged TJ and smiled at Dani. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard lots of good things about you.”

  Dani smiled. “It’s lovely to meet you, too.”

  TJ raised an eyebrow at his mom as his dad put his arm around Dani’s shoulders and led her out to the deck.

  “Don’t worry,” said his mom once they were out of earshot. “He’s going to fall in love with her. He’ll see what you see and what I see. But don’t feel bad about it. If you’d tried to tell me about her, I would have had to meet her to understand just how right you are for each other.”

  TJ put his arm around her shoulders. “You can feel it, too, can’t you?”

  “I can, poppet. I knew within the first few minutes. She’s the one.”

  “Okay, then I’ll relax about Dad. If you can feel it, he will, too. And I’m going to ask her when we go home.”

  His mom grinned. “And see if she wants a quickie wedding, would you? I’m getting tired of waiting for Oscar and Grace, they’re taking forever.”

  TJ chuckled. “I’m not getting into any of that. We’ll do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Assuming she says yes.”

  “She will. There’s no question. And if you need help choosing a ring, I’d be happy to come to LA and go shopping with you.”

  He laughed. “Any excuse to go shopping, huh?”

  She nodded. “But I know; that’s not something you want your mom’s help with.”

  He gave her an apologetic shrug. The thought of buying a ring hadn’t occurred to him until she brought it up, but no, he didn’t need her help finding one.

  ~ ~ ~

  Dani was nervous as she followed TJ’s dad outside. He gestured for her to take a seat and then sat down opposite her, with a smile.

  “I’m sorry if this feels formal or awkward, but I’m playing catch up here. Jean’s already fallen in love with you, as has TJ.”

  Dani smiled. “And I’ll bet it all feels too fast and little bit suspect to you?”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “Sorry. I tend to say what I think. I don’t see the point in beating around the bush.”

  He smiled. “Then that should make this a lot simpler.”

  She nodded. He was a good guy, she could tell, but he was cautious, and she couldn’t blame him. He’d got his son back, whole, but damaged, from a war that had claimed so many of his friends. He didn’t want to see him hurt again by a woman. “Ask me anything you want to know.”

  He chuckled. “I was hoping we could just talk—get to know each other, rather than me interrogate you.”

  She chuckled with him. “Okay. I’ll start by telling you that I love him. And I know he loves me.”

  He nodded. “And do you think that’s enough?”

  “For what?”

  “For the two of you to be happy together, for one thing, but perhaps more importantly, to weather life’s storms together. He came back a changed man. He’ll always have the scars and the nightmares. Do you think you can deal with that?”

  She nodded. “In a way, yes. You see, I don’t believe there’s anything anyone can do for him any more than there’s anything anyone can do for me. We live with our losses, and if we’re lucky, we have someone who’ll listen, or leave us alone—and know when to do which. I can’t heal him, I can’t help him. I’m in love with him, but I’m not under any romantic notion that you just snap your fingers and say, okay I’m in love now, that heals everything. I’m all better.”

  He nodded grimly. “That’s a relief.”

  “What are you worried about? I don’t want to blindly reassure you that I’m good for him, if you know something that would mean I’m not.”

  He laughed. “That, right there. You just told me what I need to know. You truly mean that, don’t you?”

  “Of course. I love him, and to me, that means I care about what’s going to be best for him. If you know some reason that I wouldn’t be, then I need to hear about it.”

  He reached across and took hold of her hand. “I think you’re perfect for him. And I want to thank you.”

  “What for?”

>   His eyes shone as he spoke. “For bringing my boy a little closer to home. When he first came back, I thought we’d lost him—I mean the TJ he was. Since he’s been down in LA with Oscar and especially working at the center, he’s started to resurface. Since he’s been with you I’ve seen more and more glimpses of the old TJ, the one who was happy. Now I’ve met you, I know it’s not down to you.”

  Dani’s heart sank. What was he about to say?

  He smiled. “Like you said. You can’t heal him, you can’t actively do anything that will make him better. But being with you makes him happy and relaxed. He’ll never forget, but he’ll learn to integrate everything he’s lived through.” He squeezed her hand, just like TJ had earlier. “And I hope he can do the same for you.”

  She smiled. “He already does.”

  “Good. Then shall we go back in there and put them out of their misery? TJ needs to know that I’m behind the two of you. And I am.” He smiled. “All the way.”

  Chapter Twenty

  TJ stood in the doorway to the storeroom. Dani was sitting on one of the sofas talking to Alex. He’d been one of the least enthusiastic of the vets about the book drive. But Dani had figured out why in her first interview with him—he was dyslexic. How he’d managed to hide that until now, TJ had no clue, but Dani wanted to help. It made him smile. It seemed she wanted to help with everything at the center. Since they came back from Montana, she’d started coming here to meet him when she finished work—and they usually ended up staying a couple of hours before they left. There was so much going on, between the book drive and everything else. It was all hands on deck, and she was another willing pair of hands. He glanced over to the cafeteria where Barbara Holmes was sitting with a group of the older women. She was teaching them about new crafts, and they were making trinkets to sell to raise money for new books. The book drive had turned into a many headed monster and sparked all kinds of new initiatives. He kept reminding Daquan of just how much good his idea was bringing forth. He scanned further, and—as he had suspected—didn’t have to look far to spot Terry. The old guy seemed besotted with her. TJ was hoping that something might come of it.

  “When are you going to ask her?”