Break (The Breathe Series Book 3)

by Lila Kane

  I felt my breath constrict, unable to say anything else.

  “A name,” Detective Stone demanded.

  John held my gaze. “I was the one who loved you. You don’t know how many times I went to your apartment, waited for you, thinking—”

  My chair scraped the floor when I stood. I clutched my hands to my chest, turning to Detective Stone. “I need to go.”

  “Charlotte, wait. Wait!” John yanked against the handcuffs.

  I bumped into the detective on the way to the door, my hand fumbling with the knob.

  “Charlotte!” John called again. “Don’t go! Don’t go!”

  The door burst open and I stumbled straight into Finn’s arms. He was already there, already soothing me even as Detective Stone came out, shutting the door behind him. I could still hear John yelling in the other room, shouting my name, demanding I come back.

  “We’re going,” Finn said, voice brooking no argument. “We’re leaving now.”

  Curtis turned immediately. “I’ll get the car.”

  “I’m sorry about that, Charlotte,” Detective Stone said.

  I shook my head as Finn put his arm around my shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

  Finn made a low noise of disagreement in his throat, but didn’t say anything. He ushered me down the hall, and the detectives followed us.

  Detective Winters stopped us at the door. “Charlotte, if we could—”

  “No,” Finn snapped. “Not now. We’re leaving.”

  “Mr. Moore,” Detective Stone began.

  “Finn,” I said at the same time.

  “No.” He touched my cheek. “This isn’t good for you. Let’s go.” To the detective, he said, “Give her some space. You see how crazy he was acting in there. He wasn’t planning on giving you anything. We’re leaving.”

  They let us go, Finn ushering me quickly to the front of the building.

  “I’m okay,” I assured him, keeping up only because I was as eager to leave as he was. “Finn, really.”

  He didn’t slow until we reached the front doors, stopping to cup my face between his palms. “It’s a good thing he was in handcuffs.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now.”

  He nodded, then gestured outside to the car pulling up. “There’s Powell.”

  “Wait.”

  Finn bit out a curse. “I want you out of here, Charlotte. Dammit, did you see how he was looking at you in there? We gave him exactly what he wanted. I—”

  “Finn,” I said, taking his hand. “I was just going to ask for my ring back.”

  “Oh.” His face relaxed, eyes holding apology. He opened his palm, revealing it to me. “Let’s get this back on you.”

  I let him take my hand and slide the ring back on. “I’m never taking that off again.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” He kissed me. “Let’s go.”

  Finn and I didn’t discuss the trip to see John for the rest of the day, though I could guarantee he’d thought about it as much as I had. Mark had changed his name. And even John was convinced he was coming here.

  But when?

  While Finn spoke with Curtis in the office, I busied myself in the kitchen, making dinner. And when I started thinking about John and Mark again, I turned on some music to wash my mind of both of them. I didn’t want plans or unknowns right now. I didn’t want to know how Finn was preparing to up security or how Curtis was going to figure out Mark’s secret identity.

  I wanted to live in my little fantasy world right now, where I could make dinner for my fiancé and dream about wedding dresses. I’d have to talk to Leslie. We could shop together.

  Going with that thought, I opened a bottle of wine and texted her.

  I’m dreaming of fluffy white dresses and poofy veils.

  I poured the wine and tested a fettuccini noodle from the pot on the stove. My phone dinged with a message and I read Leslie’s reply.

  Stop dreaming, start planning! Just bought a gazillion magazines and found some great websites. Let’s get together!

  Grinning, I sent her a response, allowing myself to get excited. My mom and sister were coming this weekend. I’d ease them into everything that was going on, convince them that yes, right now was indeed the best time to be planning a wedding, and then hopefully be able to enjoy the fun of it.

  When I turned around, a smile still on my face, Curtis was heading to the door.

  “Good night, Charlotte,” he said.

  “I made fettuccini Alfredo. You’re welcome to stay.”

  His lips twitched, and behind him Finn frowned, clearly not liking the idea.

  “No, thank you. But I appreciate the offer. Shane will come check in later.”

  He left without another word, and Finn strolled to the counter. I poured him a glass of wine and slid it over.

  “You don’t want Curtis to stay for dinner?” I asked.

  “I don’t want anyone staying for dinner. I want you alone.”

  “It was polite to ask.”

  Finn sipped his wine. “He doesn’t need it or expect it.”

  “I see.” I turned to test another noodle and found it was ready.

  When I reached for a colander and started draining the noodles, Finn said, “You see what?”

  Glancing up, I smiled. “You’re not in a very good mood.”

  He didn’t respond, so I continued to make dinner, singing along to the music and enjoying my wine. When I spun around to grab the tongs, Finn was staring at me.

  “You’re in a great mood, it seems.”

  “Absolutely. Look.” I gestured to the expanse of the kitchen. “I’m making dinner for my fiancé. In our apartment. I’m going to look at wedding dresses with Leslie—”

  “You are?”

  “Yes.” I took down two plates from the cupboard. “So, yeah, I’m in a good mood. Tonight, I’m just going to dream a little.”

  He took the plates from me and brought them to the table. When he turned back, I was right behind him with his wine glass. He took it from me and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Tell me, what are you dreaming about?”

  I sat, grinning. “Dresses and honeymoons and time with you. I’ve got my own fantasy going on here, in case you didn’t notice. I need a little of that right now, instead of dealing with reality.”

  Finn reached out, gripping my chin gently. “This, Charlotte. All of it is your reality. Our place, our engagement, a honeymoon wherever you want to go. And I’ll buy you whatever dress you want—”

  “Oh, no you won’t. I’m buying my own dress.”

  He sighed, moving to sit. “We’re going to argue about this, aren’t we?”

  I smiled again and joined him at the table. “Probably. But since you’re already in a bad mood, we can wait until you feel better.”

  “I’m not…” Finn lifted his fork but didn’t eat. “I’m not in a bad mood. But I’m not happy about what happened today.”

  I waited for him to continue, knowing he had more to say.

  “That wasn’t right of them to put you through that. And I’m upset with myself for not trying to dissuade you more.”

  “I think you tried to dissuade me plenty.”

  “And then you made more stipulations.”

  I froze with my fork above my plate. “Those stipulations were for me, Finn. So that I could move on. I wanted to see John so I could find closure.”

  “And did that happen?”

  Trying to keep my calm, I said, “Does it matter? I had to try. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I had to try.”

  “We knew he wasn’t going to tell you anything.”

  “Did we? We were sure of that, huh? Because I wasn’t.”

  I stood from the table, but didn’t start pacing like usual. I just stared down at Finn, part of me sorry he’d had to deal with today, and part of me pissed off because it was my choice and he was making it sound like I’d forced him to agree.

  “Charlotte, please sit.”

&nb
sp; “I can’t sit when I’m angry.” I took a calming breath. “No, I’m not angry. I told myself I was going to enjoy tonight, and I still am. If you want to be in a bad mood, go ahead.”

  I grabbed my bowl of noodles and brought it to the couch with my wine to curl my legs up underneath me. The night was coming in and lights sparkled outside the window. I thought about my sister and my mom, how they were going to love the apartment, but hate that I didn’t tell them about Finn.

  When Finn sat quietly on the other side of the couch, I turned to him and said, “I was thinking it might be better for me to go visit my family instead.”

  “Better?”

  “Well, easier for them, I mean. This is going to be an adjustment for them. The apartment, you, the engagement—especially with everything else going on. I could head out this Friday and I’d be back by Sunday, but this way—”

  “I’m not letting you go there alone.”

  I waved off those words like they were obvious. “Of course not. I’ll see if Curtis can spare Shane or Dustin. And if not—”

  “It’s stupid to leave when it’s safer here.”

  My eyes widened. “Did you seriously just say that out loud?”

  “I didn’t say you were stupid, Charlotte. Okay? I’m—I meant it’s smarter not to put you or your family in danger like that. Dammit,” he said, standing again. “Fine, you’re right, I’m in a bad mood. John’s a piece of shit and the only reason he agreed to anything was so that he could see you. And if those detectives used a little more power of deduction, they could have figured that out for themselves. I’m not mad you tried to get closure but I’m fucking pissed off that it cost you. So…” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll let you eat your dinner while I go cool off.”

  Shocked by his words, and even more surprised he wasn’t going to eat the dinner I’d made, I could only watch him walk to the hallway and vanish inside the study.

  I’d never seen Finn do that before. Walk away without solving the problem. He said that trying to get closure had cost me, but I think it had cost him more.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The following morning, I woke up to Finn saying my name.

  “Charlotte,” he whispered, touching my cheek. “It’s time to get up.”

  I kept my eyes closed. “No, thanks.”

  He gave a soft chuckle. “You have a meeting today, remember?”

  “I’m sick.”

  His voice changed in an instant, and I felt his hand on my forehead. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  Forcing my eyes open, I managed a smile. “I’m not really sick. I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well.”

  He frowned, clearly not believing me. But he said, “You don’t feel warm.”

  I pushed his hand away. “Because I’m not. I need…” I searched my end table and found a glass of water. “Water.”

  I sat up, aware of Finn crawling over next to me.

  “I can do the meeting,” he said. “Stay here.”

  Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I rolled my eyes. “That’s not always the solution to everything—you taking over for me. I’m fine, Finn. I’m not sick. I was joking. I’m…”

  Stressed. Worried. Scared.

  “You forgot to take the pills Dr. Palmer prescribed,” he said, standing. “I’ll get them.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get them.” I snagged my robe on my way out the door.

  He caught up to me in the hallway. “All right, I see you’re still upset about last night. That’s okay, we’ll deal with it.”

  “I don’t want to deal with it. I can’t right now.” My stomach swirled with nerves. “I have a bad feeling.”

  A knock on the door interrupted our conversation.

  Finn touched my arm. “Stay here.”

  I waited by the island, using the moment to grab one of my pills from the bottle. When Finn realized who it was, he opened the door further and Curtis walked in.

  “Sorry to bother you so early. There was a delivery downstairs for you. We intercepted it before the attendant could bring it up.”

  “A delivery,” I said, my stomach twisting. I’d already woken up with a stomachache, and now this was confirmation why. We’d been waiting for Mark to show up and now he finally had. But to be sure, I asked, “Roses?”

  “Roses,” Curtis confirmed.

  “Shit.” Finn scrubbed a hand over his face. “Does that mean he’s here?”

  “That means we exercise caution,” Curtis said calmly.

  I nodded. “Right. Caution.” I gestured to the bedroom. “I just—I have to get ready for work.”

  I turned before either of them could say anything and rushed to the bathroom. Shit. Oh, shit. Mark was here. He had to be. There wasn’t anyone to bring flowers now that John was out of the picture.

  But where was he? In the building? Waiting for me somewhere we weren’t expecting?

  My stomach churning, I crouched at the toilet, ready to heave. It was only a matter of time before this happened. Maybe if I talked to John again, he’d know something. Or—

  I leaned over the toilet, gripping the lid as my stomach protested against my thoughts, last night’s dinner, everything. I vomited into the toilet.

  When I heard Finn come into the bathroom behind me, I could barely mutter two words, trying to get him to leave, before I heaved again.

  Finn held my hair and rubbed my back with his free hand. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “Get it out.”

  “Finn, please. Go out for a minute.”

  “Sorry, that’s not going to happen.” He continued to rub my back. “Take your time.”

  “I’m…” I closed my eyes, dropping my head against my hand. Trying to decide whether or not I wanted to throw up again. “Maybe it was dinner from last night. Probably a good thing you didn’t eat any of it,” I joked.

  Finn stroked my hair. “And I feel like shit because of it. That was rude.”

  I choked out a laugh, unable to do anything more than steady myself with a breath. “I think I’m good.”

  Finn helped me up and then grabbed a wash cloth from the cabinet near the sink. He got it wet and pressed it to my cheek. Then he filled a glass of water and passed it over.

  After a long moment, I felt well enough to drink half of it. When I looked up, his eyes were pained. “Finn, I need a minute. Please.”

  He looked lost, like he wanted to argue, to convince me he could be here—he could take it—but at the same time looking like he didn’t want to overstep his bounds.

  “I’m going to talk to Curtis a minute, make a call. Just…” He held out a hand, like he might do to calm a frightened animal. “Take it easy.”

  “Finn.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be right out there.”

  Once he was gone, the door shut, I leaned over the sink and splashed water on my face. When I looked in the mirror, most of my color was gone. But my stomach felt more settled. As long as I didn’t think about Mark.

  Then the nerves came back. But I realized that’s probably all it was. Nerves. My frustration and worry from my conversation with Finn last night. He’d come to bed as I’d been falling asleep, and I’d been too tired to do anything but mumble a “goodnight” before I drifted off. And then there were the dreams. The same thing as before, but all muddled together. Enough to upset me but not to make me sleepwalk.

  No wonder my stomach was so upset.

  And then the roses.

  I squeezed toothpaste onto my toothbrush, brushing once, and then again until my mouth felt clean.

  Obsessing wasn’t going to help me. I had Curtis and his team. I had Finn. I had security. If Mark was going to show up, he was going to show up.

  I had to face that eventually. The sooner the better, because I was done feeling like this.

  After a quick shower, it only took twenty minutes to get ready for work. I blew dry my hair until it was damp and then clipped it into a haphazard updo. Good enough. I knew I had to meet Tracy and
get that done with, and that was it. The rest of the workday, I could focus on returning calls and emails and then relaxing.

  I’d see if Leslie and Paige would come over this evening and look through wedding magazines. Anything to keep my mind off of Mark.

  When I returned to the kitchen, Finn was pouring coffee into a mug and then loading drinks into the refrigerator.

  “Where’d you get those?” I asked.

  “I had someone bring them up. I thought the ginger ale might settle your stomach and the crackers—” He broke off when he turned, eyes narrowing on my outfit. “I…don’t think you’re going to be able to relax very well in that.”

  “Probably not. But there’s time for that later.”

  He shoved a hand through his hair, then propped his hands on his hips. “All right…give me a minute.”

  “For what?” I reached for the coffee, then changed my mind. Probably not a good idea.

  “To figure out how to say this without you getting mad at me.”

  I gave him a small smile. “Figure it out quick. We have to leave in twenty minutes.”

  “Charlotte.” He opened a bag of crackers and passed them over, either to give himself something to do or to get me to stop rooting around, trying to find something to eat. “Listen with an open mind here.”

  I nibbled on the cracker. “Okay.”

  “You don’t feel good.”

  “It’s stress.”

  “Understandable. Why don’t you sit?”

  “No time.”

  He frowned. “You have time to sit while you eat your cracker.”

  Sighing, I boosted myself into one of the stools and only had the energy to stare at him and nibble on my cracker.

  “You don’t feel well and it’s safer for you to be here. Will you stay? I won’t go into work either. We’ll take the day—”

  “I have a meeting. No,” I said, sighing when Finn started to argue with me, “I’m not going to cancel it. You need to work with me here, Finn. After yesterday and last night—and this morning—I don’t have anything left.”

  I saw the battle on his face, the struggle with his decision, and the eventual nod. “Give me twenty minutes. I’ll let Curtis know, too.”