Running Free (Northern Shifters)

by Jorrie Spencer

  “You’re coming back. It will be good for Storm to experience that. You leave, promise to return, and keep your word.”

  Zach tilted his head in quasi-agreement.

  As she backed out of the driveway, she said, “Doesn’t mean I don’t feel for him, and you. I do.”

  They fell silent, and after a few songs on the radio with no further conversation, as Sally couldn’t think of much to say, Zach turned to her. “Are you happy to be going back home for a visit?”

  She blinked. “You know, I haven’t even thought of it in those terms. I haven’t thought of this as going home. Not sure what that says about me.” In a short time, she’d adjusted to being on her own again—outside of the shifter town—and she’d become focused on Zach and Storm.

  As they’d moved around, her mother used to repeat the dreadful platitude home is where the heart is, and it echoed in Sally’s head. Annoyingly. Zach wasn’t ready to take Sally’s heart and Sally wasn’t ready to give it.

  She didn’t think. Yes, wolves could get intensely attached romantically, and very quickly.

  Those were other wolves. Not her.

  “What’s wrong?” It was Zach’s turn to ask.

  She decided to spare him her thoughts. He didn’t deserve them now, that was for damn sure. Well, she’d always wanted to yearn for someone, someone specific and not the vague men of her dreams, and now it was happening.

  “I’m surprised I’m not thinking of Wolf Town as home.” An honest statement, if not a full accounting of her thoughts. “I’ve enjoyed living there. That said,” she added as Zach stayed silent, “I’ll be glad to see Jancis.”

  As long as Jancis didn’t embarrass her when it came to Zach. Sally could handle being embarrassed, but sometimes Jancis came on strong, and Sally wanted to shield Zach from any further confusion when it came to wolves and people.

  Wolf Town wasn’t quite what he’d expected. It was night and might look different in the harsh light of day, but the town was so normal. As was the house Sally lived in.

  “Here we are.” Sally smiled encouragingly before they exited the car.

  He just wanted to have this over with, get the lay of the land, for Storm’s sake, and boot it out of here.

  He wanted to run.

  Wrong emotion. He was trying to do something else with his life, become human again, live a human life. Not be a shadowy feral figure as Storm got older and wiser and no longer needed him.

  Zach even wanted some kind of future with Sally, though he was self-aware enough to know it was too soon to think of that. Way too soon.

  They’d had sex once. Or one night, more than once. It only meant so much, no matter how his body responded to her.

  As Sally got out of the car, he realized she was looking forward to something, and once the front door opened and Jancis was hugging her, Zach figured out what. This woman was Sally’s good friend. Okay, Zach didn’t have a lot of experiences with friends, but he decided he should be positive.

  “Hi, Zach.” Jancis held out a hand, her big smile fading a little as she turned from Sally to him, yet her expression remained friendly enough.

  Zach shook hands.

  “Well.” Jancis glanced between the two of them. “I’d love to stay and chat, and tell everyone else to fuck off, but the schedule requires we all march over now.”

  “Schedule?” asked Zach, taken aback.

  “Yes. First up is the meet-and-greet.” Jancis pulled on her winter coat. “Dinner’s almost set and you must be starving.”

  He was, actually.

  “Who’s all going to be there?” Sally sounded a little suspicious.

  “Me, Angus, Mala, Teo, Iain…and Trey.”

  “Trey?” exclaimed Sally. “What the hell is he doing here?”

  Jancis sighed, but didn’t answer. In fact she was trying to catch his eye, so Zach obliged and looked at her. Her gaze turned strangely warm with emotion. “Zach, Trey has met your brother, so he wanted to meet you. We hope that’s okay.”

  “I came here to see Wolf Town.” He wanted to keep things simple.

  “Trey knows that,” Jancis assured him. “He just plans to say hello. Angus has made it clear to him that you have a lot on your plate right now.”

  Which sounded weird but Zach stopped himself from saying, Why? In part because he was going from starving to ragingly famished. In part because he was curious about a man who had met his brother.

  “Let’s go,” Sally grumbled, head tilted towards the door. Since they hadn’t taken off their jackets, they all headed outside.

  On the way over, Jancis said, “If you haven’t figured it out, Sally is not the most social wolf in the world. She’s not looking forward to the company.”

  “That’s not true,” Sally snapped to Zach’s bemusement. “I just want a quiet, uncomplicated evening after a long drive.”

  As did he. On the other hand, he had come here for a reason, and it would be good to meet as many wolves as possible, see how they were with each other. Assess their dynamics and what it would mean for Storm. They presented as one big happy family, just like the propaganda put out to the wider world. There had to be more going on than that.

  Even if he imagined Jancis and Sally interacted like sisters might well do.

  It made him wonder how he used to interact with his brother.

  After a round of introductions, where Zach tried to get names attached to faces, they seated themselves and dug into the food. While he glanced about a couple of times to see if the speed and fervor with which he ate was something out of place, the others were either too busy with their own food or saw it as the norm. It was only after the first course had been soundly devoured—Zach eating more than anyone—that conversation really started.

  It ebbed and flowed, stuff about Angus’s business or about the town or about family. Zach had been bracing himself for some kind of round-table interrogation but it didn’t happen, despite Sally occasionally casting Trey a wary look.

  The man was older, a bit world-weary, and the least talkative of the bunch. He’d given Zach an assessing once-over at introduction but didn’t do anything strange like stare at him during the meal. He seemed to take everything in though.

  Angus had questions about Rory, directed at Sally, more about his well-being than what he was doing. But that conversation wound down, and next thing, to Zach’s surprise, they were breaking up for the evening, more than a few people yawning. Apparently he and Sally weren’t the only ones who were tired.

  Zach almost felt deflated, even if he’d prefer to ask questions tomorrow. He supposed this is what meet-and-greet meant.

  Angus came over, a pretty younger woman at his side, Mala was her name. “We’ll see more of you in the morning, I hope? I’d like to give you a tour of the place, such as it is.”

  “Sure,” said Zach. “Thanks very much for the meal, and accommodating my diet.” They’d enjoyed vegetarian lasagna, among other things.

  “Of course,” Mala answered, watching him closely, as if he was of particular interest to her. She possessed a rather worried air, but before he could wonder why, they were moving towards the door, where Sally was talking to the hulking figure of Trey and he forgot about the other people. Trey was rather a cool customer.

  Cool customer? God knows where that expression came from, but it was said in the voice of his grandfather who haunted his memory, or memory fragments.

  The first thing he noticed was the stiffness of Sally’s shoulders. Then his gaze landed on Trey who had those intense werewolf blue eyes, rather like Angus’s.

  “This is Trey,” Sally said perfunctorily as if they hadn’t already been introduced and eaten a meal together. “Trey, this is my friend Zach.”

  Trey looked between the two of them. “I didn’t realize you were together,” he said softly, a thread of warning in his tone that Zach did not appreciate.

  Sally’s face reddened, and Zach wasn’t sure why. Embarrassment of some kind. He hadn’t thought Sally was emb
arrassed by him, even among wolves.

  Still, he said, “That is none of your business.”

  Trey looked at Sally, his disapproval clear. “Memory loss makes a person vulnerable. I hope you’re aware of that.”

  Now Sally’s face burned, though she placed a hand on her hip and glared at Trey.

  “You can talk to me instead of past me, even if I’m not a wolf.” Zach was getting pissed. “I’m not brain damaged.”

  “Well, technically—”

  “Jesus, Trey,” cut in Angus, “use some tact.”

  “Nothing wrong with it. My favorite niece has amnesia. All healed up, as you are, but gaps in memory, right? Large blanks that don’t come back?”

  They were coming back, pressing up against him, without actually giving him information. Not that Zach intended to discuss it. He stood taller and stared Trey down. The sensation of wanting to paw the ground, hard, ghosted past Zach, and he couldn’t remember having a horse urge while human before.

  “Who told you I have memory loss?” Zach gritted out. He didn’t think it had been Sally—she’d said she wouldn’t.

  “No one. It’s a common way for a shifter to lose his family.” He paused, his cold eyes warming just slightly. “I’ve met your brother, if you’re interested in knowing that. I’ve always assumed if he found you alive, you’d have some degree of amnesia.”

  Sally’s misery reached Zach, and he stated, “Sally has been a good friend to me.” Zach stepped up beside Sally and placed an arm on her shoulders. She remained stiffly there, but didn’t move away. He didn’t want to talk about his memory or his brother with this wolf. It wasn’t what this visit was about.

  Trey sighed, but this time there was the glimmer of amusement, of all things, which baffled Zach. He needed to get out more, or get an interpreter to understand people’s different reactions.

  “Wolves” was Trey’s final word with a brief shake of his head, and he disappeared. Then Mala and Angus rather awkwardly took their leave. Jancis seemed nowhere about.

  Zach turned to Sally. “What the fuck was that about?”

  She sagged against him. “He thinks I’m taking advantage of you.”

  “What? Am I twelve years old because of my amnesia? Or is this some fucking wolf thing?”

  “Hey, Trey is always a hardass.” She was clearly aiming for a jaunty tone here, but not quite hitting it. The asshole had upset her.

  “People let him get away with this shit?”

  “What shit?” There was Jancis again.

  Zach kind of liked her, but he didn’t want to answer her question.

  “Just ignore Trey. It’s what I do,” Jancis continued, grabbing her jacket. “You guys heading over? Don’t worry, I’m turning in early and I sleep with earplugs.”

  Zach didn’t know what to say. He’d been studiously avoiding thinking about what tonight would be like between him and Sally. As he looked over at her, he guessed her face was about as red as his. Jancis rather confirmed the case by glancing at them both and proceeding to grin to herself as she led the way out.

  Wonderful.

  Sally was mortified. Basically, Trey had accused her of using Zach in some way, almost in the same way male wolves had tried to use Sally.

  No, wait. He hadn’t implied that. She was getting all turned around; guilt messed with her head. Yet the ease with which she had felt comfortable with Zach had everything to do with her needs—he was shifter, but not wolf—and nothing to do with his. She felt incredibly selfish right now.

  She didn’t know what he needed, and likely he didn’t either. His life’s focus was Storm. Even to the extent he wouldn’t meet his brother until he was sure Storm’s being endangered by Hambly was over.

  Zach was disconnected from his past and in no hurry to rush back to it. And she had chosen to move into that. She couldn’t even tell if her guilt was misplaced. She’d done this in the past, took on guilt because she’d been the focus of someone’s stalking. She didn’t trust guilt, but it was here and tonight was not the night to sort it out. A good sleep might help matters, but only if she slept alone.

  She was barely aware of entering the house and putting boots and coats away when Jancis said, “See you in the morning.” There was a wry, almost commiserating twist to her lips, and Sally hadn’t a clue what that meant.

  “Sally?” asked Zach in a low voice.

  “I’m really tired,” she rushed out.

  “Sure” was his immediate response, those beautiful dark eyes concerned for her.

  She knew Zach would never push himself on her. Which she loved about him. So much. She wanted to give him a hug just for that. “Is it okay if you take the couch?”

  He nodded.

  She went to get extra bedding and came back to find him sitting in a chair, arms on legs, hands dangling, clearly feeling at a loss. As she let the bedding drop onto the couch, he asked, “Are you okay?”

  Pushing out a breath, she tried to think of the right thing to say. “This isn’t the best place for us, I don’t think. I’m feeling a bit…confused.”

  His brow furrowed, like he was trying to find the meaning behind her words.

  “I’d like you and I to figure ourselves out somewhere else,” she offered. As if that would help.

  A kind of hope came into his face. “There doesn’t have to be any figuring out, exactly.”

  “I know, I know.” Why did she have to make this so complicated? She decided to blurt out the most obvious, if least of her worries. “I don’t want them smelling us on each other all day tomorrow. Wolves are…” She flung out an arm in frustration. Eloquent, that’s what she was.

  “They wouldn’t like it if you and I—”

  “No, no. It’s not because you’re a horse and I’m a wolf. In fact, some of them would be thrilled to bits for me. I’ve been the weird celibate for so long here in wolfland.”

  His eyebrows rose. God, every word she said elicited a different expression on his face, because she was close to nonsensical. She gave up speaking, stood there mutely, feeling helpless.

  He pushed off from the couch to envelop her in his arms and spoke next to her ear. “Don’t worry. I’m on the couch tonight. I’m good with that.” He nibbled her lobe, and she was ready to melt against him.

  She couldn’t. Instead she stepped back, placing a hand on his chest. “You won’t be on the couch if you keep doing that.”

  “Really?” This pleased him, and of all things he grinned.

  She gave a quiet laugh but stepped back yet again. “Good night, sweet Zach.”

  He cocked his head as he responded, “Good night, Sally.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Being virtuous wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, thought Sally as she woke the next morning. Between Trey’s admonishment and her own qualms, she had tried to pull back a little, in case she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  It was the exact opposite of what her wolf wanted. If she hadn’t been so used to overruling her wolf when it came to shifter interaction—or lack thereof—she wouldn’t have had the willpower to say no to Zach last night.

  She never got like this about men. Obviously her late thirties were going to be a weird time for her. Or something.

  Moving silently, she slipped past Zach, who didn’t stir, and escaped the house. In order to stick to the high road, she needed to get away from him, even if she didn’t know where she was going.

  She’d start with a very long walk.

  Zach woke late morning aware people moved about the house. Strange bed was his first thought, followed up by No, Sally’s couch. Her scent wrapped around him, because this was her house and her things. He ignored the scents of others.

  He stretched and dressed, deciding he had to think less about Sally’s scent and more about these Wolf Town people he’d met last night. He needed to suss out just what Wolf Town had to offer Storm without taking anything away from the boy.

  Without taking Storm away from you, a voice in his head wh
ispered. Zach sometimes feared selfishness drove him to feel possessive of his fatherly role in Storm’s life, and not love. It was hard for him to judge such things.

  As Zach entered the kitchen, Angus and Jancis turned towards him—they appeared to be pulling out food for breakfast.

  “Hungry?” Jancis didn’t wait for an answer before pointing to the food on the table. Zach promptly ignored everything but the food placed in front of him and took in the calories. It didn’t taste half-bad either. When he finished eating, he looked up to see they were both watching him with interest, and he flushed at his table manners. He hadn’t been ravenous; he could have eaten with a little more grace.

  “I believe you horses need to eat more than wolves,” Angus observed.

  “That’s likely,” Zach acknowledged.

  “In case it’s not clear,” said Jancis, “Dad’s trying his utmost to stop himself from launching into a lecture on nutrition. A favorite hobby of his among shifters, and even non-shifters. Often known to bore everyone else to tears.”

  Zach didn’t quite know how to respond, while Angus leaned back against the counter and good-naturedly rolled his eyes. “Zach, how do you find Wolf Town so far?”

  “Well. I haven’t really walked around the place.”

  “I’ll be happy to show you the sights.”

  “Thank you.”

  “The reason Dad sounds like a used-car salesman,” Jancis piped up in her helpful way, “is because he wants you to bring Storm here for a visit one day. He’s trying to impress you,” she added in a theatrical undertone.

  Angus shot her a look of warning while Zach replied, “I’m not sure about a visit. I’d have to talk to his grandparents first.”

  “Absolutely, talk it out,” said Angus. “It might be good for Storm to meet other wolves.”

  He’s met Sally, Zach wanted to argue, and he also wanted to say Storm’s met me, a shifter, but he simply nodded. After all, he thought along these lines as well. Zach had to keep the fear that they could somehow take the child away from him contained. His first strategy, to make sure no one knew he’d been feral and had memory loss, had failed. Now engagement with the wolf community appeared to be the better option.