by Jane Lythell
When I got back from my coffee with Henry there was an email from Julius asking me to meet with him at five p.m. on a serious matter. That was all it said and it put the wind up me. Martine usually sets up his meetings and might have some idea what it was about so I went down to her desk.
‘I really don’t,’ she said. ‘It’s odd that he wrote to you like that.’
‘I thought that was odd too.’
‘He seemed to be down this morning and he’s with the regulators all day so I can’t reach him. My best guess is that it’s a budget thing. Could be more cuts coming your way, perhaps.’
‘Oh joy,’ I said.
She looked sympathetic.
I went back to my office and pulled my budget sheets up with a sense of great weariness stealing over me. There was no fat left. We had been cut to the bone last autumn. Only once did I let myself think about the letter from Douglas. It was at the back of my mind all day and I still didn’t know what to do about it. He had unfinished business with his wife, that was the private stuff he referred to in his letter. He said he had let it take him over. And it probably would again; it was still early days in his break-up. My landline rang and it was Fizzy calling from home.
‘We couldn’t talk this morning but I wanted to tell you about Le Touquet. It was the most gorgeous hotel, real old-world glamour with black and white pictures everywhere of the famous people who’ve stayed there. Saul booked us a suite with a sea view.’
This was a big weekend for Saul and it seemed he’d wanted to impress her. He was dating a woman fifteen years younger than him who in terms of looks was well out of his league.
‘The service was sensational and the swimming pool was a dream.’
‘Lucky you.’
‘And at dinner on Saturday he gave me diamond earrings, Liz, real diamonds.’
‘Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.’ I said it ironically but Fizzy laughed in delight, not picking up on my tone.
‘You betcha. It’s lovely to be cherished.’
‘How do you feel about him?’
‘I’m not going to marry him, but it’s nice to have a man around. It’s tough being a lone parent.’
‘Tell me about it,’ I said.
Fizzy, as ever, was doing the smart thing rather than the right thing.
*
I was outside Julius’s office at five p.m. sharp. I tapped on the door and Julius asked me to sit down. I had brought a folder with my budgets and I rested this on his desk. He glanced at my folder and then at a document he had in front of him.
‘This is going to be a difficult conversation, Liz, one I hoped I would never have to have.’
In my depressed state I hardly had the energy to be alarmed.
‘Is it my budget?’
‘Your budget? No, nothing to do with your budget,’ he said quickly.
I felt relieved but he was looking serious, almost pained.
‘Saul has asked me to give you a formal warning.’
That felt like a punch in the stomach.
‘What! What have I done?’
‘A case has been made against you that you’ve been trying to sabotage the new presentation arrangements.’
‘Says who?’
‘You were opposed to the Fizzy and Ledley double act from the beginning. You’re still committed to Fizzy having the solo role.’
I shook my head in disbelief and said it again: ‘Says who?’ Although I knew the answer.
‘In addition, it’s claimed that the travel pilot failed because you do not want Ledley to succeed as the co-host.’
‘It’s Lori, isn’t it?’ I said.
‘Lori believes you’re deliberately sabotaging the sponsorship deal with WayToGo. And the ratings are slipping.’
I could feel something stirring inside me, a small ember of resistance.
‘The ratings are slipping so let’s blame me,’ I said.
He put his hand on the document on his desk.
‘Lori has made a case to Saul that you are actively working against the new format.’
‘She would. She’s been against me from the start. And let’s remember it was her big idea to mess with the format, a woman with no programming ability at all.’
‘She’s not the only colleague who thinks you’ve been working against the station,’ he said.
The ember inside me was flickering into life and I could feel the heat of long-suppressed anger in my body.
‘Let me guess, Bob is in on the act.’
Julius tapped the document again.
‘Yes, he’s backed up what Lori said.’
‘So the two of them concocted a case against me?’
Saul would have been swayed that an editorial person like Bob had joined the head of marketing on this. This was no simple programming versus sales split.
‘I don’t want to discipline you, Liz. You’re a good producer. I’d much rather you resigned and we can give you a pay-off for long service and you can leave here with your reputation intact,’ he said.
The embers had now burst into roaring flames and I leapt to my feet. I leaned across his desk.
‘Oh no; that’s not going to happen. Resign after all these years when I’ve done nothing wrong?’
I pointed at the document on his desk.
‘I can’t believe you’ve been taken in by them. Bob and Lori are both gunning for me and I’ll tell you why. Lori made a huge error in insisting on the double act and she has to get rid of me because I saw that coming. It’s her fault we’re losing ratings. She hasn’t got a clue about programming. Bob wants me out of here because I know something that will blow his marriage apart.’
Julius had sat back in his seat and was watching me intently.
‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s Zachary’s father and I’m the only person in the station that knows it.’
I didn’t count Ledley. He didn’t know for sure. That took Julius by surprise. That wiped the lordly expression off his face.
‘You’re saying Bob and Fizzy...’
‘Yes, Bob and Fizzy. They had an affair and she got pregnant. He tried to persuade her to have an abortion. He hates me because he thinks I persuaded her to go through with it. And he’s terrified Pat will find out. He’s been threatening me for months. This is his latest ploy.’
I could see that Julius was trying to absorb what for him was a bombshell. He had had no idea. He had thought that Geoff was Zachary’s father, as did nearly everyone at StoryWorld.
‘And I’ve never said a word to anyone, and you know why? To protect Fizzy.’
‘Sit down,’ he said.
‘Not until I’ve had my say. You’ve let Lori get away with far too much. You should kick her out of the morning meeting, for a start. She’s a saleswoman and has no place being there. You’ve allowed her to grow in influence and to poison Saul’s mind against me. You’ve let her take power away from you too.’
I had hit home there. He knew how close Lori had got to Saul and that it had weakened his position at the station.
‘Now you can do one of two things, Julius. You can choose to take my side and fight for me. You can put that document in the shredder and I hope that’s what you will do. Together you and I could turn the programme around. Or you can choose to discipline me and I will fight it every step of the way and use everything I’ve got.’
I turned to leave his room.
‘Don’t you walk out of this meeting! I decide when it ends,’ he said.
‘I’m leaving you to consider those two options. There’s nothing more to say. Goodnight.’
I left his office with my head held high. I didn’t want to go back to my office and see the team so I called Ziggy and asked her to bring my coat and bag down to reception. She hurried down to me with my things and I asked her to lock my office.
‘Is everything OK?’
She looked worried.
‘I need to get home,’ I said.
I left the building. I was desperate
for some air and space. I walked by the river, heading towards Westminster, fast to begin with, fuelled by my fury, but gradually I slowed down and my heart settled. I was not ready to go home; I needed time to process what had happened. Julius wanted me to resign.
The small lights strung along the bank were lit and there was a faint smell of smoke on the air. StoryWorld had been such a huge part of my life for so many years that it was part of my identity. The injustice of it burned strongly, that my years of work and dedication seemed to count for nothing. At the same time that bastard Saul Relph was consummating his relationship with Fizzy, he was deciding to discipline me. I felt utter contempt for him. A lone jogger passed me. He had a light attached to his head like a miner’s lamp. I recalled Flo saying the other night that my career had not made me happy. The last three months had certainly not been happy. In fact, since Lori Kerwell had arrived there had been one nasty shock after another. What if I did resign? Was this the time to make the break, to take the money and to work fewer hours so I could spend more time with Flo? Too often I had let the problems at StoryWorld be my priority, not her.
The London Eye came into view. I pass it so often but have never been on it. On an impulse I joined the queue. I was shocked when they said it cost twenty-five quid for a thirty-minute circuit, but I’d waited in line so I bought a ticket. I hadn’t had to wait that long as a November night was not the optimum time for viewing. I wasn’t there to see the London landmarks which I knew so well. What I wanted to experience was the sensation of being lifted into the sky and seeing the ground fall away.
We entered our capsule. There were no children present, it was mainly young couples and one elderly pair who sat on the bench in the centre and held hands. I stood and looked out. As we rose in a slow and stately manner what wowed me most was the white metal framework of the wheel, the struts and the giant shaft, the sheer feat of engineering that had allowed this structure to go up and to turn so smoothly. We could see into other capsules, faces pressed against the glass, people pointing at buildings. As we rose higher I gazed at the sequence of floodlit bridges that spanned the river and the boats passing beneath them becoming smaller, becoming toy size. I walked round the capsule to get a three hundred and sixty degree view. There was the Shard and Charing Cross station and I could make out Buckingham Palace surrounded by trees. Closer, and dominating one view, was Big Ben, glowing in the dark. We had reached the top of the circle and we hung there. The city lay spread out beneath me, a panorama of slowly moving tracks of light. Red lights burned on Titan cranes. This was my world and I knew I had to fight. I would find the strength to take on Saul and Julius because even if I lost it would force them to increase any financial offer they made me.
We started down the other side. The old couple on the bench got to their feet and I made room for them next to me. The boats on the river and the buses on the bridges and the people on the South Bank became larger, became normal size. We had reached the exit platform.
‘Such a treat, wasn’t it?’ the old lady said to me.
‘It was. Gives you perspective,’ I said.
36
StoryWorld TV station, London Bridge
I was in the gallery and a small part of me was watching Ledley as he cooked for his guest and the greater part of me was thinking how I would manage the morning meeting, seeing Lori and Bob, my attackers, across the table. Ledley’s guest was a Romanian weather presenter. She had acquired a cult following because of her mispronunciation of words when she did her weather reports. She was a gift to the impersonators with her gaffes and she took how people laughed at her with good grace. You couldn’t help liking her. Ledley was making her smoked bacon with cabbage rolls on the side. It didn’t sound appealing and it didn’t look very nice either, but apparently it was her favourite dish. I wouldn’t let Lori and Bob know they had got to me. I would appear calm no matter how much my stomach was clenching. I would say little and watch how things played out.
The cameras had moved back on to Fizzy. A text pinged on to my mobile from Simon.
Need to show you something before morning meeting.
It was rare for him to text me while the show was on air so something was up. The credits rolled and I hurried upstairs. He was waiting for me and followed me into my office.
‘Look at this.’
He handed me his phone and I read a short spiteful piece published in a weekly satirical magazine. It referred to Fizzy as the fragrant Miss Wentworth, and went on to say that as speculation continues as to who the married father of her six-month-old son Zachary can be, we are told on good authority that the baby is a StoryWorld in-house production. Miss Wentworth, a favourite with the viewers, has been the face of StoryWorld for nine years. She hails from Burnley, as does StoryWorld’s seasoned news editor Mr Bob Taylor.
An in-house production; I remembered that Ledley had used that exact phrase to me when he first voiced his suspicions. And that reference to Burnley and to Bob, putting him right in the frame. It was hideous.
‘It was just posted on their Twitter account. It’s small circulation but you know how fast word gets out,’ Simon said, his eyes round behind his glasses. ‘She’s with Saul Relph now, isn’t she?’
So the team knew about Saul and Fizzy’s relationship. You can’t keep a secret in a TV station although God knows I’ve tried to keep Fizzy’s secret for months.
‘It’s horrible. The person who leaked this wants to do maximum damage to Fizzy. I’ve got to go. Thanks for alerting me.’
*
We were sitting round the meeting table waiting for Julius. Fizzy and the director sat on either side of me and Ledley was next to Lori and Bob. I had been worrying about how I would deal with this meeting but the latest drama had pushed my concerns to the back of my mind. I looked at Bob. He couldn’t have seen the story yet. He looked as he always did, slightly bored and scowly. He scratched at his jaw and suppressed a yawn. He had supported Lori in the plot against me and I was glad that trouble was heading his way. But I felt for Fizzy. She was going to have to deal with the fallout, which was always going to come at some point. She was looking pleased with herself so it hadn’t crossed her radar either. I would have to tell her straight after the meeting and reveal that Ledley was the leaker. How would Saul Relph react to the news that Bob had fathered Zachary? As for Ledley, he was pulling at his cuffs as Julius came in and I watched him during the meeting as he said smoothly how much he’d enjoyed talking to Elena, the Romanian weather presenter, she was good fun. He had thrown a little pebble into the media pool but it was a hand grenade. There would be destruction in its wake. I suddenly remembered Pat, Bob’s wife, and his two girls. They were all innocent parties but would be terribly hurt by today’s revelation. What a Judas he was.
Fizzy’s reaction, when I told her in the privacy of her dressing room, surprised me. I had expected her to explode at Ledley’s treachery but she seemed alarmed rather than angry.
‘Saul’s going to hate this so much.’
She sat on her chaise longue and wound her hair round her fingers in ever tighter spirals. She looked up at me.
‘Apart from Martine you’re the only woman friend I’ve got. Tell me what I should say to Saul?’
That admission touched me. I sat on the chaise next to her.
‘No point denying it, is there? You have to tell him the truth.’
‘But you know men and their bloody pride. He’ll hate that I slept with Bob. He assumed it was Geoff and could deal with that because he doesn’t know Geoff.’
She was right. Saul Relph would hate that the affair had happened on his patch, his territory. Her mobile rang.
‘Oh shit, it’s Saul!’ she said.
Her phone vibrated insistently on her dressing table and we stared at it. Finally it stopped.
‘Fizz, do you want to be with him?’
There was a significant pause.
‘I don’t want him to reject me over this,’ she said in a small voice.
&nbs
p; I detested the man now but she had asked for help.
‘Then build him up. Tell him what a difference being with him has made to you. That you felt alone before and stupidly took comfort with Bob but that it didn’t mean anything to you.’
‘That’s good, that’s very good. But what if he asks if I’m still seeing Bob? He’d loathe that.’
She had stopped twisting her hair and was looking at me for the answer. There is a childlike quality to Fizzy sometimes.
‘You could say you felt it was the honourable thing to do, to let Bob see his son.’
‘Yes, his only son. I was being honourable. You’re brilliant, Liz. And I’ll say that it’s Loida who takes Zac to her flat where they meet. He can’t object to that.’
It was a lie, of course, about Loida being the go-between, but Fizzy looked calmer. She stood up.
‘You better go now. I’m going to ring him back.’
‘Have courage,’ I said.
She blew me a kiss and picked up her phone.
*
By noon the station was buzzing with the story. I saw Harriet talking to a couple of the news reporters who had wandered over to our side of the building. They conferred over their paper cups of coffee about where the story had come from. Bob had locked himself in his office and had lowered his blinds. Julius was nowhere to be seen. I stayed in my room too and got Ziggy to screen my calls. No way was I going to risk speaking to the likes of Lou Gibson again. Ziggy brought in a list of names of journalists wanting to talk to me and sure enough her name was there.
‘There are cameramen outside,’ she said.
I had already told the team to talk to no one. There would be more paparazzi camped around Fizzy’s house and I wondered how she would manage to get in later without being snapped. I did not return any of the calls. My usual impulse would have been to call the journalists back and try to make things look better for the station but I was damned if I’d do that after the way Saul and Julius had treated me. Let them deal with the media firestorm. I pulled out the letter from Douglas and read it one more time. But I couldn’t engage with it. Bubbles of dread that I might be losing my job kept surfacing, making me feel slightly sick and dizzy.