Sins of the Father: A Ravens Ruin Novel

by Marie James

  She doesn’t crinkle her nose or shy away from the fact that her closest friend is snuggled in my arms. She doesn’t act the way I would if I walked in and saw her doing the same against the chest of my best friend. A cold chill runs down my spine at just the thought of Briar touching her in any way that isn’t brotherly. I’d have to find a different way to torture him since his cock doesn’t seem to mean much to him.

  “She’s too pure for this life,” Molly whispers.

  I could disagree with her, argue that things changed downstairs, that Zoe won’t wake up the same woman she was when her beautiful brown eyes blinked away the sunshine this morning. However, it isn’t my story to tell. Molly won’t know the details of what happened unless Zoe wants to share them with her.

  “I never would’ve brought her here had I known she’d get sucked into the vortex.” My sister’s sad eyes watch her friend sleep.

  “I’m so fucking glad you brought her.” Seems my confessions are starting a little earlier than I’d anticipated.

  “This is going to change everything,” Molly says.

  “Things started changing the day she showed up,” I tell her.

  She nods her head softly, reaching down to brush some of Zoe’s hair from her cheek. She doesn’t say another word as she peers down at Zoe. After leaning in to kiss my forehead, she walks away, closing the door quietly behind her.

  When did my baby sister grow up? When did she turn into a beautiful, compassionate woman?

  Just moments ago she was drooling on her toys and getting on my nerves.

  Zoe shifts again, the click of the door enough to make her jolt. Sleepy, sad eyes look up at me.

  “Hey,” she whispers.

  “Hi,” I answer like a fool.

  “You’re here.”

  “Nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.”

  She smiles again, shyly dipping her chin so that she’s looking up at me through her eyelashes.

  I freeze when her lips press a soft kiss to my heated skin. She’s in that middle ground where what happened earlier seems so unreal she’s convinced herself it never happened, and I’m an asshole for not making her face the dark truth.

  My cock thickens at her thigh, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by her. I could easily roll her over and sink inside of her. It’s all I want to do, but it’s deceitful. It would be an abuse of whatever power I have over her. I’m tired of using her, hurting her, and praying she’ll still come back and ask me for more.

  “Zoe,” I whisper.

  She shakes her head, lips rubbing across my chest.

  “Just a little while longer,” she begs. “Just let me pretend.”

  “Take as much time as you need.”

  The reprieve doesn’t last long. Her tears fall, wetting my chest, and her hands tremble on my skin.

  “Today actually happened?”

  “Yeah, baby. It happened.”

  “I need to—”

  I grip her arm when she moves to climb off the bed.

  “Please don’t.”

  “I have to pee,” she says, hooking her thumb over her shoulder toward the bathroom. “I’m coming back.”

  I hate the sight of the t-shirt covering her body when she reemerges, but I know it gives her security, a means to shield herself.

  “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.” She climbs on the bed but sits at the end with her legs crossed too far for me to reach out and touch her.

  “It’s expected.”

  “Are you going to hurt me?”

  “Never.” The word gets caught in my throat.

  “Are your friends going to hurt me?”

  “I’ll kill them if they harm one hair on your gorgeous head.”

  “Even TJ?”

  “Especially him,” I answer honestly.

  “Do you love me?”

  “More than anything else on this Earth.”

  “Does that scare you?”

  I swallow the thick lump forming in my throat. “Terrifies me.”

  “Was that hard to admit?” A sparkle lights her eyes.

  I nod. “Don’t tell my men. They’ll think I’m a pussy.”

  “Love makes a man weak?”

  “Many in this world believe that’s true. My father’s favorite saying growing up was ‘pussies were made to be fucked not worshiped.’”

  She cringes. “He sounds like a winner.”

  “He was something,” I respond.

  “I have a million questions.” She focuses on her hands, refusing to look at me.

  “I have nothing to hide,” I tell her even though that’s so far from the fucking truth my throat burns like I’ve been drinking acid.

  Her questions start off simple at first. She asks about things that I didn’t think would carry any emotions for me. She asks about my early life, my mother, Molly’s mother, and my father. I tell her nothing but the truth, only skimming over some of the more brutal things I’ve faced in life. I show her the scars my father left on my skin, the stab wounds and bullet holes, and she cries over the ones deep inside no one can see.

  She confesses to being selfish and hating herself for pushing away all the good things in life because she was stubborn. She admits to hating herself for thinking she had it bad when we were suffering in this clubhouse. I admit my jealousy over TJ and Molly, and how I hated them growing up. They were spared so many times when Cowboy was focused on me instead. I also confess that now I’m glad Molly wasn’t hurt and that even sparing TJ didn’t help because he’s still a psycho.

  She doesn’t delve deeper wanting to know about the inner workings of the club. She doesn’t ask questions that will glean information she could use against any of us later. She wants to know about me, only me. What makes me happy. What makes me sad. What turns me on the most.

  “Enough,” I tell her a second before I crawl across the bed and tug her under me. “I feel like I’m on a fucking episode of Dr. Phil.”

  “Tell me you love me.”

  “I love you.” It’s all I should say, but since I’m making confessions. “I now know why my dad lost his shit when my mom died. I couldn’t imagine losing you.”

  “You were going to kill me.” Her words don’t hold the same gut-wrenching pain it did hours earlier, but the burn is still there.

  “I was going to have TJ do it. Then I would’ve had to kill him, and Briar would’ve had to kill me if I didn’t eat my own gun first.” I kiss her chastely on the lips. “It would’ve been a huge mess. So thank you for not being a snitch.”

  “What’s going to happen to my dad’s body?”

  I knew this question would come eventually. “It’s been taken care of.”

  “Is it wrong that I’m not really all that upset?”

  My gut clenches one final time before a cool calmness settles in my bones. “You wouldn’t be able to love me if you weren’t a little fucked up.”

  She swats my chest, a giggle erupting from her throat. The sound is heavenly, one I never thought I’d hear again. I pin her arms above her head and show her just how much of a monster I can be.

  Chapter 40

  Zoe

  “What does this mean?” I ask against his lips.

  He’s spent the last hour telling me everything I want to know. He’s answered every question with honesty, never once making me feel like he was skating around the truth or omitting information.

  “This,” he grunts as he shifts his weight and presses his hard length against my center, “means I want to fuck you.”

  “And after?” My eyes squeeze shut as I try to resist him but my body is wound like a top.

  “Snuggle?” His tone is so questioning, my eyes pop back open to find him grinning down at me.

  “And tomorrow? You’ll be just as sweet?”

  A devious smile paints his perfect lips. “Tomorrow, I’m going to tie you to my bed and fuck your ass.”

  My entire body clenches at the prospect. “That so?”

  He nods as his mouth
trails down my body. The t-shirt I shrugged on after waking in his arms is quickly cast aside, and I’m open to him, his for the taking.

  I’ll think about all the fucked-up things tomorrow.

  I’ll think about my dad, and how I killed him without blinking.

  I’ll think about Lynch and how resigned he was to my death.

  I’ll think about TJ, and wonder how I’ll ever face him again after seeing his true colors.

  I’ll think about how the Ravens Ruin MC is no place I should ever be, and how there’s no way I’ll ever leave.

  But, for now, all I want to think about is pleasure and Lynch licking my—

  “Oh,” I hiss when his mouth covers the apex of my thighs with a hard suck.

  “Get out of that head of yours and into this bed with me.”

  “I’m here,” I vow, tangling my fingers into his messy hair while I buck against his mouth.

  “Mmm,” he moans, licking fast against my clit.

  “What are you doing?” Confusion pulls my eyebrows together as he releases my most delicate flesh and begins kissing his way up my body. “I was enjoying that.”

  “You’ll,” he pauses long enough to suck one nipple and then the other into his warm mouth, “enjoy this, too.”

  “Are we in a rush?” He shakes his head, lips brushing mine before he slips his tongue against mine.

  The world could fall away. The clubhouse could be bombed by the Taliban, and I’d still ask for five more minutes with him pressed against me.

  “I was only making sure you were wet enough.”

  “For what?” I ask.

  “This.” He slams into me with a groan, his sounds becoming our sounds.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I beg. “It’s too much.”

  “It’s not,” he disagrees, the tempo of his hips carrying out a punishing rhythm.

  “Ah, ah, ah,” I pant in tune to his thunderous drives.

  He’s fucking me like it’s the first time, the last time, and every time rolled into one. Even with all of my posturing, it’s exactly what I need, what my body craves.

  “Coming,” I hiss as my body convulses around him.

  “There’s my girl,” he praises as he shifts his hips back, lifts my leg, positioning it over his shoulder and plows into me again. “Milk my cock.”

  His grunts begin to meld together as another orgasm builds at the base of my spine. His arms circle my back and grip over my shoulders as he holds me in place, forcing me to take everything he’s giving me.

  “Please,” I cry.

  I’m right on the edge, right on the precipice of release, needing something I can’t even put into words.

  “I fucking love you.” He hisses out each word, punctuating each of them with a violent stab of his cock.

  Yep, that’s it.

  I explode. My core grips and releases him in pulses so aggressive I don’t even know he’s coming until he stills and whimpers in my ear.

  He nuzzles my messy hair until the skin of his nose is pressed against that tender spot just below my ear. A soft kiss, then a second before he pulls away.

  “Jesus,” I pant, unable to fully catch my breath as Lynch rolls off me.

  He doesn’t go far. He doesn’t even bother to move the heavy leg that’s pressing me to his bed.

  “Sorry,” he grumbles.

  “Sorry?”

  “That should’ve lasted longer,” he complains.

  A giggle erupts from my throat. “It was amazing.”

  He hums his agreement, but other than that simple noise we lay silently, breathing heavy and smiling at each other.

  “Come here,” he says after a while.

  Rolling over, I let him tug me against his chest. The sheen of sweat coating his flesh is cool to my own overheated skin.

  There are so many things I want to say. So many rules I want to put in place, but I’m terrified he’s going to give me my walking papers. I decide then and there to no longer be a coward. If I’m feeling something, he’s going to know it. Fuck keeping shit bottled up inside until we get mad and do something we’ll regret.

  “I can’t handle you breaking in the new girls.”

  “I want to kill Ronan,” he confesses in return.

  “Then I get to kill Cherry.” I’m shocked at the truthfulness in my tone. If she were here, I’d add her to my body count.

  “She’s just a whore,” he defends.

  “And he was only following orders,” I argue.

  “So we let them both live?”

  I chuckle. “It’s easy for Cherry. She didn’t last but a couple of days. Ronan is patched in now. I will cut the next bitch that touches you.”

  “Noted,” he says before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of my head.

  The door swings open. There’s no knock or warning, just the crash of the doorknob against the wall.

  Lynch growls as he scrambles to cover my body with his.

  “Hey, Shooter,” TJ says with a smirk from the doorway. I’d flip him off if Lynch didn’t have my arms pinned to the bed under him. “Lynch, you’re needed in the chapel.”

  “Do you mind?” Lynch seethes close to my ear.

  “I’ve seen your dick before. It’s okay to be self-conscious. Mine’s still bigger,” TJ teases, making no move to leave the room even after his initial message was delivered.

  “Impossible,” I huff and try to push Lynch off my chest. He’s crushing me without even knowing it.

  “Have a look.” I squeeze my eyes closed the second I hear his zipper.

  “I’ll fucking cut it off,” Lynch warns.

  TJ’s chuckle follows him into the hallway.

  “Asshole,” Lynch spits as he climbs off the bed to go close the door.

  “Don’t go,” I plead.

  I don’t want this time to be like every other time. Waking up alone is rough, but I can’t handle actually watching him walk away again. It killed me in the salon room.

  “Baby,” he says as he climbs back on the bed. “I have church. There’re things we have to discuss. Things that happened today that we have to take care of.”

  “And I’m just supposed to wait here for you to come back and fuck me?”

  His eyes spark, tongue sneaking out to swipe at his lips.

  “Although that sounds like a wonderful plan, I need you to go pack your shit.”

  Dumfounded, I stare at him. I guess certain words don’t mean shit to him.

  “Look at you already thinking the worst.” He flicks my nose with the tip of his fingers. “I want you to move in here with me.”

  I’m already riled up. There’s no stopping this train.

  “Not gonna happen,” I tell him as he pulls away and walks toward the dresser on the far wall.

  He ignores my refusal and dresses with a sly smile on his face the entire time. It isn’t until he’s got his boots on, leather cut over his shoulders, and hand pulling open his bedroom door that he looks back to speak.

  “Get your shit in here by the time I get back, or we won’t wait until tomorrow. I’ll tie you up and fuck that tiny asshole of yours tonight.”

  “Gross.”

  Lynch visibly jerks when he hears Molly’s distaste right in front of him.

  “I was—”

  “Just go,” she urges.

  Instead, he turns back and climbs on the bed.

  “Love you, baby,” he whispers before brushing a sweet kiss against my lips.

  I’m smiling like a fool, watching him walk away when my friend clears her throat.

  “What?” I ask innocently as I tug the sheets up higher to cover my naked body.

  “You know he’ll never let you go now, right?”

  “I know.”

  “Not even when you get mad at him, or catch some girl sucking his dick. He owns you now,” she reiterates. “Like forever.”

  Her words should worry me. They should give me pause, or make me second guess my decision, but they don’t.

  I smile up at he
r. “I’ll kill any woman in this club that lays a finger on him.”

  I expect her to argue, to tell me that’s not how things work around here, but her lips turn up, her smile matching my own.

  “Looks like I’m no longer the only Princess around here.”

  Damn straight.

  Chapter 41

  Lynch

  All of my guys are waiting in the chapel when I arrive. Thick silence fills the room. It’s as if they’re holding their breaths to see what my reaction is going to be. I’ve vacillated with how I should respond. I’ve gone from praising them for carrying out plans I was too weak to do myself, and wanting to shoot each and every one of them for even questioning Zoe’s loyalty in the first place.

  “Report,” I command.

  “The headshot was close enough we think it will pass as a suicide,” Briar says.

  I grunt. Not that it matters. I doubt the DEA is brave enough to challenge us again. We haven’t even heard whispers of them gearing up to come at us since the last raid when I was thirteen. They fucked up big time that day, and it cemented our ability to operate almost independent of any worry of interference.

  “We discovered,” Hornet interrupts as he passes down a folder, “Miller hasn’t been working for the DEA for six months.”

  “What is this shit?” The pictures in the folder don’t lie, but surely there’s something else going on to explain why Miller is with other bikers. “D.E.D.? We have no involvement with them.”

  “The Dead End Demons, from what I’ve discovered,” Hornet continues, “have been contemplating taking over our territory.”

  A rumble of laughs echoes around the room.

  “Miller was on their payroll since his obsession with Ravens Ruin got him booted from the Agency,” Hornet adds.

  “So we have a new enemy in Florida now?” As if the Colombians weren’t enough.

  TJ snorts. “Not much of an enemy. They have like six guys down there. I wouldn’t even count them as a club.”

  “There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent,” I mumble, quoting Lao Tzu, as I look down at the photos.

  “Enough of that medieval shit,” TJ snaps. “Can we go down there and kill them?”

  I look up at my brother, understanding exactly where his head is at. His thirst for blood wasn’t quenched today, and it’s hard to re-cage a beast when it hasn’t been fed.