The Mechanics of Being Human

by S. E. Campbell

  "I'm a human." Fawn glared at Ark, nervously rolling the pin within her fingers. "I have no idea what you're talking about or why you came here after me. I just want my friend back."

  "Sure you don't." Ark grinned, then reached forward and ran his fingers along her cool skin. His touch made her want to rip off his arm. "Interesting. You feel just like a human too. Maybe too cold, but soft."

  "For the last time, I'm a human!" Fawn yelled, her eyes darting toward the foliage where her parents and Jax were. "I don't understand what you're saying."

  Behind her, bushes rustled. That wasn't right. Nobody was supposed to come from behind her. Ark peered over her shoulder at the bushes. He pulled a gun out of his holster, then yanked the bag off of Zelda's head. Tears and snot streamed down the girl's bright red face as she trembled in fear. Ark yanked Zelda to her feet and pushed the gun against her temple. The girl stared at her, pleading and desperate. Fawn realized Ark tore off the bag just to torture her because now she could see her friend's devastated expression. It worked. It was as though a burning hot stone was in her throat.

  "I thought I told you to come alone." Ark's voice had an edge of panic. "Who did you bring? Jax?"

  "I, I didn't bring anyone," Fawn stammered. This time, she didn't need to fake it. She had no idea who was behind her. "I swear I have no idea who is back there."

  Ark grunted, his eyes were still narrowed. He nodded at his two cronies. "Search the bushes."

  The two guards exchanged glances, let out two grunts, then prowled the foliage. Fawn was strongly reminded of hungry animals hunting their prey. People yelled. It took her a moment to recognize one voice as Gavin's. She gasped, pressing her hand over her mouth. A second voice came, high and shrill. If Fawn didn't know the person wailing was Bo, she would have assumed the person captured was a woman. There was also a soft grunt.

  "Oh, no," Fawn said.

  A moment later the two cronies came out of the bushes. Bo, trembling, stumbled over a log as his teeth chattered madly. Their eyes met, but only for a moment. Mute crunched through the underbrush, held by the arm by the same man who dragged Bo. The second man pointed a gun to the back of Gavin's head. Despite everything, when Gavin met her eyes and trembled, she still felt everything for him she had before and more. This was truly her worst nightmare. The boy who'd helped her through so much now was in great danger.

  "What were you thinking?" Fawn said. "Why did you come here?"

  "Friends don't abandon friends." But Gavin's eyes didn't flicker toward Zelda. They stayed steady on hers.

  "Shut up," the drone holding Gavin grunted.

  Gavin fell silent. In desperation, Fawn faced Ark.

  "So your friends decided they would play hero, huh?" The grin on Ark's face widened. "How sweet. Your main system must be advanced to be able to interact with humans well enough to establish a following. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to take that out when I replicate you. Can't have any models rebelling, can I?"

  "I'm a human." Fawn's fists clenched at her sides. "Why are you doing this?"

  "Why?" Ark's grin widened. "Galliham has been planning this for ages. Of course, in the beginning I had no idea how big of a project I stumbled upon when I overheard Jax talking in private to a colleague about his work. I became intrigued by him. It was only then I discovered what he was up to. He was inventing the perfect drone, a mechanical being who could think and feel like a human but without the health problems. Manual labor could be done cheaply and effectively. All it would take is a little tinkering and these drones could blow up or kill entire cities. Jax gave his creations heart, but they don't have to have them. Unfortunately, he's making this way more complicated than it needs to be. If he'd just given me his model plans from the beginning, his family needn't have died. He can blame himself for what happened."

  An angry lion roared in her chest. This man would blow up innocent people in a heartbeat. Fawn could practically see inflamed cities in the reflection of Ark's eyes. "You're a terrorist. That's what you are. And don't you dare insult Jax. By keeping his inventions away from you, he's saved millions of people. His wife was a hero too. She knew what he was fighting for."

  "How touching." Ark cocked his head. "But I thought you didn't know anything. For an outsider, you seem to be far more educated than you let on."

  Fawn clamped her mouth shut in horror.

  "Enough now." Ark tossed a look at his two men. "Kill all the spares. We can't have any witnesses."

  Footsteps came from her right. Her parents and Jax rushed to her. Jax held his gun aloft as he glowered at them. She heard the sound of him firing a bullet and saw Ark's mouth open wide. Everything slowed down. She could see every last sprig of grass and the intricate veins on the leaves of the green trees. Suddenly, she remembered the blood bags on her stomach. Using the pin in her hand, she drove it into the bags, feigning dramatically that the bullet pierced skin. The bag spilled and dark red coated her shirt and hands. She looked down at her fingers, coated in sticky fake gore, then glanced up at Ark. He was shocked and pale faced.

  It's working. But he won't let my friends go. Jax's plan failed. She still tumbled to her knees as she'd told Jax she would, holding her stomach. She prayed Jax would use the time she'd bought them to rescue her friends. As she stared at the dark sky, not blinking or breathing which was the easiest thing in the world for her, she was grateful for the first time she was a robot. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have gotten this chance to save her friends.

  "What's going on?" Ark asked, as he and his two cronies stared down at Fawn in shock. None of them moved to hurt her friends. "That's impossible. Machines can't bleed."

  "What did I do?" Jax asked. "My niece. I just shot my niece."

  Even though Fawn forced herself to hold picture still, she could see Ark was gaping at her. The gun in his hand trembled as he lowered it from Zelda's head. Mute shoved his fist straight into the crony's face. Real blood splattered from the man's nose. He fell backward, knocked out in a minute. The second crony took out his gun and then aimed it at Mute, but Gavin tackled him in the middle. The two of them rolled down the hill. A gun discharged. She almost screamed in terror, fearing Gavin was shot. She heard him speak and knew he was okay.

  Ark held up his gun again and pointed it at Jax who froze.

  "Tell me what's going on and you'll live," Ark demanded. "I know you. This is all a part of your plan."

  "What plan?" Jax gazed at the gun with no fear. He acted like he knew Ark would not shoot him. "I followed my niece here. This was an accident."

  "With you, there is no such thing as accidents, just careful planning." Ark's eyes narrowed. "Tell me what you're hiding."

  "You can point that gun at me all you like, but you need me." Jax's brows furrowed. "You and a thousand men could never come up with what I have. You and I both know it."

  "Hmmm. Perhaps you're right about that. I do need you." A wicked grin crossed Ark's face as he switched his aim from Jax's head to her dad's. Her mom screamed and Fawn almost echoed it. "Let's see about him. You held your wife's body in your arms, then your precious daughter's. Let's see how you feel about holding your brother's."

  "Wait. No. Don't!" Jax yelled in panic.

  "You're listening now, aren't you?" Ark said. "Tell me where Model 29 is. If the drone's not this girl, then she's around here somewhere. You were bugged. I heard you talking about her performance. Tell me."

  Time slowed down again. She saw Jax's strained face as he tried to decide between her and his brother. A bead of sweat trickled down her dad's face, but even though his life was on the line, he didn't announce to Ark she was the invention. At that moment she realized it didn't matter if she was a human or a robot, the love she felt for her family and for Gavin was real. It didn't matter why love was felt as long as it was. She may have the mechanical parts and gears, but she cared about so many people in her life, even though she'd been around for a short time. Ark, even with his brain and beating heart, was the robot, not her. He was the one w
ho didn't feel. He was the one who didn't care he'd taken away so many beloved people.

  Everything burned red. Fawn knew their plan failed. People were going to die, just like last time. But something was different now. She wasn't going to make somebody Jax loved die in his arms again. She was his true daughter, just like she was the true daughter of Oliver and Delanee. Ark was going to rue the day he ever messed with her.

  Her eyes zoomed. She heard a whirling sound in her ears, like she had a camera and turned on the lens. Ark glanced her way for the first time and his mouth dropped open. If his eyes grew any wider, she wouldn't have been surprised if they popped out of his head.

  Ark gaped. "What the—"

  With a growl of anger, Fawn shot forward faster and with more force than even she imagined she could. Air whistled in her ears. She heard the sound of a gunshot and sharp pain burned her stomach. She tackled Ark by the waist. The two of them rolled around in the grass. Ark raised his gun again and fired a second shot into her shoulder. Searing pain radiated from her limb, but she didn't care.

  She glared into the eyes of the man who had killed Jax's wife and child and the part of her that had control shut off. Everything was anger. The ground, the air. Something in her head kept telling her what to do. She wrapped her cold fingers around Ark's neck and clamped down tight. Behind her, she heard her mom scream.

  "What is she doing?" her mom said. "She's going to kill him."

  "What did you do to her?" her dad asked. "What kind of program is this?"

  "I…I just wanted her to be safe." Jax's voice sounded tense. "She's supposed to protect me and herself."

  "Fawn, let him go. Stop choking him!" her dad shouted. "I know there's something inside you telling you what to do, but you've got to fight it. This isn't who you are. Don't let the machine win."

  Ark's face got paler and paler. She couldn't grasp onto thoughts. People kept shrieking, telling her to stop. Two parts of her warred. A voice whispered in her head, Stop. Fawn. Stop. It hurt. She couldn't stop. She was being told to protect.

  But she knew if she killed Ark, a robot would be all she would ever be. She screamed as she fought the part of herself telling her to clamp her hands over his throat and loosened her grip. A strange buzzing sound, like hornets, permeated her ears. She could distantly make out the screaming of others.

  "Impossible. She fought the chip." Jax gasped.

  Fawn felt something white hot implode in her head. For a minute she saw only electricity and knew only heat, but then there was nothing.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Fawn awoke in a dark, warm lab that smelled of grease. The smell comforted her, wrapping her in a warm embrace. Yet her brain was foggy. When she straightened up and look around, she saw she was not alone. Her dad sat at her side with his head on the cot, his mouth hanging open as a string of drool trickled down his chin. Her mom sat on an old, stained armchair in the middle of the room, her head on her shoulder as she snored.

  In panic, Fawn glanced at a glowing red clock on the counter. It read two o'clock AM. What happened to Ark? What happened to Jax and Gavin? With a gasp, she hopped off of the bed.

  "I assume you want answers," Jax whispered from behind her.

  Fawn jumped in shock. In the stairwell, Jax stood with dark bags underneath his eyes. A wrench was still in one greasy hand. He wore a leather jacket and the same jeans he'd worn earlier that night. A cup of steaming coffee was in his other hand, the smell permeating the room.

  Quickly, she stole a glance at her sleeping parents, then nodded and walked over to Jax. The man smelled of leather, grease, and coffee. The two of them headed up the stairs, then he opened the door and stepped into the kitchen where just a few days ago she'd punched him straight into the backdoor. The kitchen table was set with several empty mugs with dark rings at the bottom.

  "Come." Jax waved at the table. "Take a seat."

  She nodded, then took a seat at the table, her head buzzing with a thousand questions. She imagined Zelda, hair sticky with sweat with tears oozing down her face, staring up at her. The idea made her shudder in horror.

  "Is Zelda okay?" Fawn asked.

  Jax gave a dry chuckle, but no amusement reached his eyes. "Of course she's okay. You did a fine job of knocking out Ark. Almost killed him, too. Your friends managed to take down his men."

  She gulped. The last minutes she could remember came rushing back. Never, under normal circumstances, would she ever choke somebody. It felt like she'd been possessed by a demon, only she didn't think that was possible.

  "What happened to me?" She propped both of her elbows on the table. "It was so horrible. I couldn't control myself. I felt as though I was somebody else entirely."

  Frowning, Jax gave her an apologetic look. Fawn knew he'd done something to her. The expression was familiar, though she hadn’t spent much time with him. She knew that when his eyes crinkled and his mouth tensed, revealing how deep his wrinkles actually were, that meant he felt guilty. There must have been a reason for his emotions.

  "It was the program you put inside me." Fawn gasped. "The self-defense program you told me about. It told me to kill him. That's why things went red."

  "Yes." Jax scratched the back of his head in guilt. "It was the program that made you want to kill him. That's the problem with inventing. I thought I had it perfect. You seemed that way to me. When you attacked me in here, I assumed that was what you would do if you felt threatened by somebody. You would assault them, then stop. Unfortunately, I failed to contemplate that the only reason you didn't kill was because it was me."

  Her eyes widened in horror. Am I dangerous? Could this happen all the time? She remembered the effort it took to make herself stop. There was always the possibility that next time she couldn't control herself. It was too easy to imagine herself strangling her mom or dad, trapped in a nightmare. She would never forgive herself if that happened.

  "Just when I was beginning to not want myself destroyed," Fawn muttered.

  Jax's eyes narrowed. "I thought this mess would get that out of your head. You did it, Fawn. Ark is locked up in this house as we speak, and I'll find a way to get rid of him."

  "I could kill people," Fawn cried, exasperated.

  "I got rid of the defensive chip." Jax glared at her. "Do you even know why you shorted out in the park?"

  The world stilled. She hadn't gotten to that question yet. She shook her head.

  "You shorted out because even though every program in your system correlated and told you to attack, your heart was bigger than all of them combined. It wasn't a firewall or a personality chip that told you to stop. They were designed to fall in line with self-defense protocol. It was you who stopped it." Jax grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Don't you get it? You started out as a machine, but now there is something more to you. Call it a soul, call it whatever you want. I don't know how it happened and I don't care. All I know is that when I look into your eyes, you are so much more than a collection of metal parts."

  "But Gavin and the others…How can I hope to be normal if nobody knows who I truly am?" Fawn trembled. "Gavin ran away—"

  "And he came back." Jax narrowed his eyes. "Your parents weren't the only ones who loved you enough to stay up for two nights straight while I tried to fix your system after you shorted out."

  She leapt to her feet in shock. "Gavin's here?"

  "Gavin is here. He's been waiting for you to finish charging, just like your parents have been." Jax shrugged. "Don't you see how loved you are? More than many humans I have seen. But I would recommend letting Gavin sleep. It's been a long couple of days. Holding three men hostage in my house isn't a norm for me."

  For a second she was tempted to ignore Jax's suggestion, but then she sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. She noted Jax's exhaustion with new eyes. He was so tired even his hands trembled. He was the one who'd repaired her, so he'd been using more energy than the others.

  "If the others all fell asleep, then why are you still up?" Fawn aske
d.

  Jax shrugged. "Your system wasn't supposed to be up until this morning, but I wanted somebody to be awake, just in case. Guess I know you well, huh?"

  She stared into his eyes and saw the same fire in them. It was love she realized. It didn't matter how she was created. The bond between the maker and the creation still existed.

  "You love me," Fawn said.

  "I love you." Jax nodded. "And I'm sorry about all I've put you through. It wasn't fair to you. As much fun as you are, I'm going to burn all of the files. I think Model 29 is just about as perfect as anything can get. I don't plan to create anymore."

  She scratched her arm in discomfort.

  "It's still weird, thinking I'm a robot." Fawn stared at her skin like she could see through it to the metal below. "I feel human, even after all I've seen."

  "Then don't think of yourself as a robot." Jax winked. "I don't look down at myself and imagine my muscles and organs."

  "But I have mechanical parts."

  Jax grinned at her. "That's the beauty of being human. There are always mechanics involved."

  ****

  The next morning, Fawn sat downstairs next to Jax. She held a can of oil in her hand and Jax held yet another cup of coffee. The morning sunlight streaming through the window made the bags underneath his eyes appear deeper. Still he didn't sleep.

  As Fawn gazed out the window to stare at the shadows beneath the backyard tree, the sound of moaning caused her head to turn. It was her mom. The woman blinked her eyes rapidly, then gazed in the direction of the cot where Fawn had been laying. Her eyes opened wide and she glanced around the room wildly. When she spotted Fawn sitting by the window, she let out a shriek and leapt to her feet.

  Her dad, awoken by the sound, sat up too. He wobbled for a moment, then whirled around and spotted Fawn in the chair by Jax. When he saw her, he gave a cry of happiness so loud she was sure everybody in the next three towns could hear him. She smiled in embarrassment after what she'd done to Ark and waved at them feebly. Her mom gave yet another cry, then rushed at her and wrapped her in a bone crushing—or rather, circuit crushing— hug.