Frogs

by Aristophanes

  AESCHYLUS What about that one?

  DIONYSUS That one too.133

  AESCHYLUS That’s the sort of stuff that you compose, and you have the audacity to criticize my lyrics, you who give us the ‘Twelve Positions’ of Cyrene!134 So much for his choral songs.

  1330 Now I want to give you an idea of what his solo arias are like.135

  [Sings]

  O shining gloom of Night,

  What dire dream have you sent me,

  Emerging from shadowy Hades?

  It has life and yet no life,

  It is a child of sable night,

  Its face a horrific sight,

  Shrouded in blackness.

  How it glares at me –

  Murder, murder in its eye –

  And what long claws it has!

  Light the lamp, O servants,

  And in your little buckets

  Fetch me the liquid that flows

  In the mountain streams.

  Heat it up, that I may

  1340 Wash away this dream

  The gods have sent me.

  Hearken, O mighty god of the sea –

  ’Tis done! O my housemates,

  Witness these omens!

  Glyce has stolen my cockerel

  And scarpered.

  You nymphs of the mountains,

  And you Mania, help me!

  Ah me, unhappy that I am,

  I was sitting here busily

  Spi-i-i-i-nning some flax

  With my nimble fingers,

  Whirling the wheel round and round.136

  1350 I was going to go out early

  While it was still dark,

  And sell my thread in the market,

  When – ah! He flew up, my cockerel,

  Flew up into the ether

  On his wings, his wings.

  And I was left bereft, bereft,

  And from my eyes falling, falling,

  Tears, the falling tears,

  Shed in misery,

  Fell.

  O Cretans, children of Ida,

  Speed to my aid,

  Fetch your bows and arrows,137

  And come over at once –

  1360 Throw a cordon round the building.

  And you too fair Dictynna,

  Virgin Artemis, come with your hounds

  And we’ll ransack the whole house.

  Come now, Hecate, daughter of Zeus,

  With twin torches flaming,

  Light me the way to Glyce’s house:

  I want to catch her red-handed.

  DIONYSUS I think we’ve had enough lyrics now.

  AESCHYLUS I’ve had enough of them too. And now I propose that we settle this matter once and for all by a simple test on the scales to see whose poetry is the weightier, his or mine.

  DIONYSUS Come over here, then, both of you, if you must make me weigh out your poetry like hunks of cheese.

  CHORUS

  1370 How thorough these geniuses are!

  But this thing’s the cleverest by far.

  Did you ever hear

  Such a brilliant idea,

  So simple and yet so bizarre?

  I’d not have believed it, I swear,

  If a man that I met in the square

  Had said that a friend

  Of a friend of his friend

  Had known of a man who was there!

  DIONYSUS Now, each of you stand by one of the two pans.

  [AESCHYLUS and EURIPIDES take up their positions.]

  AESCHYLUS Right.

  EURIPIDES Right.

  DIONYSUS Now you must each take hold of your pan, hold it

  1380 steady, and recite one line. Then, when I call ‘Cuckoo!’, you both let go. Ready?

  AESCHYLUS Ready.

  EURIPIDES Ready.

  DIONYSUS Right, say your lines.

  EURIPIDES ‘If only the Argo had never winged its way…’138

  AESCHYLUS ‘The watery vale of Spercheius, where cattle graze…’139

  DIONYSUS Cuckoo!

  AESCHYLUS and EURIPIDES [letting go] Right!

  DIONYSUS Look, this side’s going right down.

  EURIPIDES Why is it doing that?

  DIONYSUS He put in a river, like the wool merchants who wet their wool to make it weigh more; whereas you with your ‘winged its way’…

  EURIPIDES Let’s try again. See what he can do this time.

  1390 DIONYSUS Right, take hold again.

  AESCHYLUS and EURIPIDES Ready.

  DIONYSUS Fire away.

  EURIPIDES ‘Persuasion has no temple other than the word…’140

  AESCHYLUS ‘Of all the gods, just Death it is that loves no gifts…’141

  DIONYSUS Let go. Now, let’s see – this one again. You see, he put in Death, the heaviest burden of all.

  EURIPIDES What about Persuasion? Doesn’t that carry any weight? So beautifully phrased too.

  DIONYSUS No, Persuasion is hollow. It has no substance of its own. You’ll have to think of something with real gravity to weigh your side down. Something huge and hulking.

  EURIPIDES [musing to himself] What have I got that’s huge and hulking? Hmm, let me think…

  1400 DIONYSUS What about that stirring line ‘Achilles threw… a pair of singles and a four’?142 Come on, this is the last round.

  EURIPIDES [triumphantly] ‘He lifted up his mighty cudgel ribbed with iron…’143

  AESCHYLUS ‘Chariot on chariot, corpse on corpse was piled .. ,’144

  DIONYSUS He’s got you licked again.

  EURIPIDES How come?

  DIONYSUS All those chariots and corpses. A hundred Egyptians couldn’t lift that lot.145

  AESCHYLUS This line-against-line business is far too easy. Let Euripides get into the pan himself, with his children, his wife, not forgetting Cephisophon – why, even his collected works

  1410 as well. I’ll outweigh the whole lot with just two lines.

  DIONYSUS You know, I like them both so much, I don’t know how to judge between them. I don’t want to make an enemy of either. One’s so wise, and the other I just love.146

  PLUTO In that case you’ve wasted your time by coming here.

  DIONYSUS Supposing I do make a choice?

  PLUTO You can take one of them back with you, whichever you prefer. That way you won’t have come all this way for nothing.

  DIONYSUS Bless you! Now listen, you two. I came down here for a poet. What for? To save the city, of course! Otherwise

  1420 there won’t be any more drama festivals – and then where would I be? Now, whoever can think of the best piece of advice to give the Athenians at this juncture, he’s the one I’ll take back with me. Here’s my first question: what should be done about Alcibiades?147 The city’s in a tricky situation.

  EURIPIDES What do the Athenians think about it?

  DIONYSUS You may well ask. They long for him, but they loathe him. Then again, they want him back. But you two tell me what you think.

  EURIPIDES [after some thought]

  I loathe a citizen who acts so fast

  To harm his country and yet helps her last,

  Who’s deft at managing his own success,

  But useless when the city’s in a mess.

  1430 DIONYSUS That’s neat, by Poseidon! Now Aeschylus, what’s your opinion?

  AESCHYLUS

  It is not very wise for city states

  To rear a lion cub within their gates;

  But if they do so, they will find it pays

  To tolerate its own peculiar ways.

  DIONYSUS Honestly, I can’t decide between them, when one speaks so discerningly, the other so distinctly.148 We’ll try one

  1440 more question. I want each of you to tell me how you think the city can be saved.

  EURIPIDES I have something I’d like to tell you.

  DIONYSUS Go on.

  EURIPIDES

  Believe the unsure safe, the safe unsure,

  Mistrust what you now trust, and fear no more.


  DIONYSUS What do you mean? I don’t follow. Speak more clearly and not so cleverly.

  EURIPIDES If we were to stop putting our trust in those we do at the moment, and put it instead in those we don’t at the moment…

  DIONYSUS Then we might be saved?

  EURIPIDES Precisely. If we’re faring badly with the current lot,

  1450 we’re bound to do better if we do the opposite.149

  DIONYSUS [to AESCHYLUS] And what do you say?

  AESCHYLUS Tell me, what kind of people is the city electing these days? Honest, noble sorts?

  DIONYSUS Where have you been? She hates them most of all!

  AESCHYLUS She prefers hypocrites and swindlers?

  DIONYSUS She doesn’t prefer them, but she has no choice.

  AESCHYLUS Well, if the city doesn’t know its own mind, I don’t see how it can be saved.

  1460 DIONYSUS You’ll have to think of something, if you want to come back with me.

  AESCHYLUS I’ll tell you there; I’d rather not down here.

  DIONYSUS Oh, no, you don’t. Send your advice from here.

  AESCHYLUS

  They must regard enemy soil

  As theirs, and let their own land go.

  The navy is the city’s strength;

  And any other wealth is woe.150

  DIONYSUS That’s good, except that these days the ‘other wealth’ all goes to the jurymen.

  PLUTO Now please decide.

  DIONYSUS I’ll judge between you on this score alone: I shall select the man my soul desires.151

  EURIPIDES Now remember the gods by whom you swore to

  1470 take me home! Pick me, your friend!

  DIONYSUS It was my tongue that swore152… but I choose Aeschylus.

  EURIPIDES No!! What have you done, you utter traitor!

  DIONYSUS Me? I’ve declared Aeschylus the winner, that’s all. Any objections?

  EURIPIDES How can you act so shamefully and look me in the eye?

  DIONYSUS What’s shameful if it seems not so to those who view it?153

  EURIPIDES You villain, will you leave me here to… stay deceased?

  DIONYSUS

  Who knows if life is really death and death is life?154

  Or breathing is eating, and sleep a woolly blanket.

  [EURIPIDES, struggling frantically, is removed.]

  PLUTO Dionysus and Aeschylus kindly step inside my palace.

  DIONYSUS Why?

  1480 PLUTO So that I can entertain you before you head off.

  DIONYSUS How kind of you. I don’t mind if I do!

  [They enter the palace along with everyone else except the CHORUS.]

  CHORUS

  Fortunate is the man who has

  A mind with sharp intelligence.

  We learn this truth from past examples,

  Like this man here, who’s clearly wise

  And now will be returning home,

  A blessing to his fellow citizens

  And to his family and friends –

  1490 All on account of his good judgement.

  So it’s not smart to sit and chat

  With Socrates, tossing aside

  Artistic merit, shedding all

  That’s best of the tragedian’s art.

  To fritter away all one’s time

  On quibbling and pretentious talk,

  And other such inane pursuits,

  Is truly the mark of a fool.155

  [PLUTO and his guests emerge from the palace.]

  1500 PLUTO Goodbye, then, Aeschylus. Off you go with your sound advice – and save the city for us. Educate the fools. You’ll find a good many. And give this [a knife] to Cleophon with my compliments, and these [nooses] to the tax commissioners. And here’s one for Myrmex and another for Nicomachus;156 and this [a mortar and pestle for grinding hemlock]

  1510 is for Archenomus.157 Tell them all to get themselves down here fast. Otherwise I’ll brand them and tie them together by the feet, along with Adeimantus,158 and have them packed off underground before they can say ‘knife’.

  AESCHYLUS Very well, I will. And will you ask Sophocles to look after my chair while I’m away? I declare that the second

  1520 place is his by right. And on no account let that evil, lying, foul-mouthed rogue sit on my chair, even by accident.

  PLUTO Guide him with your sacred torches, escort him with his own songs and dances.

  [The CHORUS form up as an escort for AESCHYLUS and move off singing.]

  CHORUS

  Spirits of the darkness, speed him on his way.159

  Safely may he journey to the light of day.

  1530 To the city’s counsels may he wisdom lend;160

  Then of war and suffering shall there be an end.

  If those doughty warriors, Cleophon and co.,

  Want to keep on fighting they know where to go.

  In their distant homeland they can do less harm;

  Let them wage their warfare on their father’s farm.

  Notes

  WASPS

  1. Corybant: The Corybantes were minor deities who attended Cybele, the Phrygian mother-goddess. A prominent aspect of their cult was ecstatic dancing to flutes and drums, which produced a trance-like state of delirium. The cult was practised by a number of respectable fifth-century Athenians. In the Greek text, Sosias’ subsequent remark, ‘something Bacchic about it’, refers to the Phrygian god Sabazius, sometimes identified with Bacchus (Dionysus). Little is known of Sabazius, but the slaves’ exchange suggests that he was associated with wine.

  2. Cleonymus… dropped it: Cleonymus was a politician regularly mocked by Aristophanes for being fat, effeminate and gluttonous, but above all for having run away during battle, dropping his shield in the process. Losing one’s shield was a grave act of cowardice punishable by disenfranchisement, but despite Aristophanes’ frequent mention of the incident, Cleonymus does not seem to have suffered this punishment. He probably lost his shield sometime between 425 and 423, possibly at Delium (424) where the Athenians were routed. The joke here defies translation: it turns on a pun on the Greek word aspis, which means ‘shield’ and ‘asp’. Thus the same phrase in the original means both the copper-coloured asp picked up by the eagle and the bronze-plated shield dropped by Cleonymus.

  3. What creature… in the sky: The standard answer to this riddle is a bear, eagle, snake or dog, each of which (in ancient Greek) is the name of a constellation, a land animal and a sea creature.

  4. equipment: There is a double entendre in the original. The Greek word hopla, meaning ‘arms’ or ‘equipment’, can also be used to refer to the male genitalia (compare English ‘tool’).

  5. Pnyx: The Athenian assembly met on the Pnyx, a hill just inside the city walls to the west of the Acropolis. The Athenian men in Sosias’ dream, who are gullible and beholden to Cleon (see next note), appear as sheep but are nonetheless identifiable as Athenians by their cloaks and staves. This anticipates the presentation of the Chorus as wasps, who are recognizable as gullible old Athenian men under Cleon’s malign influence.

  6. tanner’s yard: A reference to Cleon, the demagogue who came to prominence in Athenian politics during the period after the death of Pericles. Cleon (or his family) seems to have had some connection with the leather trade. He is mercilessly berated by Aristophanes in Knights and in his (lost) first play, Babylonians.

  7. body politic: The original contains a pun on the Greek word demos, which can mean ‘the people’ or, with a change of accent, ‘fat’ or ‘lard’.

  8. Theorus: Regularly attacked by Aristophanes as one of Cleon’s hangers-on.

  9. Alcibiades… laven: Alcibiades, the nephew of Pericles, was from the distinguished Athenian clan the Alcmaeonids. He was about thirty at this time and yet to become a major politician. He reputedly had a lisp that involved saying ‘1’ for ‘r’ (rather than ‘w’ for ‘r’, or ‘th’ for’s’), the term for which is ‘lambdacism’. The joke here belies translation. The original relies on the word korax (‘
raven’) becoming kolax (‘flatterer’).

  10. To the audience: Direct address to the audience to explain the play’s opening situation also occurs in Knights and Peace, both of which also begin with exchanges between two slaves. The Athenians traditionally disparaged all things to do with Megara (the city-state that bordered Attica to the north-west), including bad jokes, but there may also have been a rivalry between Athenian and Megarian comic playwrights; according to Aristotle (Poetics 1448a), the Megarians claimed to have invented comedy. Food was sometimes thrown to the audience to gain its goodwill.

  11. Heracles… Euripides… glory: Heracles was a regular character in comedy. He appears in Birds and Frogs, both times as a glutton. Euripides features as a character in three of Aristophanes’ surviving plays (Acharnians, Women and Frogs) and at least two other lost works (a second play entitled Women at the Thesmophoria and Preview, which was produced at the same festival as Wasps). The remark about Cleon not being targeted is disingenuous as he is criticized both directly and indirectly for much of the play. It is not clear to what Aristophanes is referring in saying that Cleon has recently ‘covered himself in glory’.

  12. on the roof: Besides the main stage, Greek theatres had an upper level (the theologeion) on top of the stage-building. In tragedy, divine characters usually appeared on this level, but occasionally mortal characters did (e.g., the watchman on the palace roof in Aeschylus’ Agamemnon). Here Bdelycleon is asleep on this level and Philocleon will later appear on it. The slave clearly states that Bdelycleon is master of the house. Sons were legally obliged to look after their fathers, and took over control of the household at some point, but the circumstances and conditions under which this took place are not known.

  13. disease: The Greek term used to describe Philocleon’s condition, nosos (meaning ‘sickness’ or ‘disease’), was used in tragedy to indicate an uncontrollable urge or a delusion. Examples of such nosos include the irresistible erotic desire of Euripides’ heroines Phaedra and Stheneboea, and the hallucinatory delusion suffered by Sophocles’ hero Ajax (during which he slaughtered the Greek army’s livestock, mistaking them for the Greek leaders with whom he had a serious grievance). Some of Aristophanes’ audience would have known that in tragedy nosos usually leads to catastrophe.

  14. Amynias: Mocked elsewhere and later in the play (see 466 and 1267) as boastful, long-haired and pro-aristocratic. While he may have served as a general in 423/2, he was nonetheless seen as keen to avoid military service. Presumably he was fond of gambling.