She was the only reason neither one of us was feral.
“I can’t relate either. My folks kicked me out when I was fifteen. I’ve always envied the fact that Maren knows her dad will be there no matter what, even though they don’t talk all the time.”
The conversation felt weighed down by the heavy topic, so we naturally lapsed into the kind of silence strangers shared when they were suddenly faced with too many details about one another. Fortunately, the hotel came into view before things became too awkward to bear.
Arrow peeked out the windshield and looked at the hotel with obvious skepticism. “This is where you’re staying?”
It wasn’t the fanciest hotel in the artsy New Mexico town by any means, but Jeno checked online, and it had good reviews and excellent amenities.
I laughed, this time for real. “If I stay at the most well-known, five-star spot in town, someone will definitely recognize me. If I stay here, it’s more likely someone will just think I’m some dude who looks like Salinger Dolan. If I give you my number, can you at least let me know how Maren’s dad is doing?” I held up a hand and put my other over my heart. “I swear I won’t bug you for information on her.”
I fully planned on giving her the space she required from here on out. It was the least I could do for her at this point.
The assistant gave me a lopsided grin but shook her head in the negative. “Can’t do that, Superstar. If Maren wants you to know anything, she’s gotta be the one to give that information out. I won’t ever do anything that might cause her not to trust me.” Her eyebrows lifted, and her mouth shifted into a smirk. “I bet I’m the first girl who’s ever turned you down when you offered your number.”
I slipped out the door, telling her as I went, “You might be right.”
It’d been a long time since I used sex as a coping mechanism to fill up all the empty spaces inside of me, but that didn’t mean I’d lost any of my appeal. Getting girls was never a challenge, until Maren.
It wasn’t like I was chasing her to fill the empty spot in my bed, but still… She was the only one who seemed to be immune to my legendary charms from the start.
Maybe that was why it was impossible to forget about her after all this time. It was always the things that were most difficult, the biggest challenges I’d had to face, that lingered with me through all the ups and downs.
Maren
I WATCHED MY dad as he shuffled around the living room, complaining under his breath that the new company I’d hired to take care of his landscaping while he was laid up wasn’t doing a very good job. He also complained about the young nutritionist I’d hired to come in and make sure he transitioned his questionable diet to a heart-healthy one. And he really hated the nurse who was coming to the house to check on him twice a week. He told me I was overreacting. He grumbled that he’d been fine on his own for a long time, and insisted he didn’t need help or medical professionals hovering over him.
My response was the same whenever we argued about it. I told him if he agreed to move to California so I could be close by and check on him regularly, I would dial back the number of people suddenly helping him regulate his life. I tried to make him understand I needed to make sure he was in good hands while I was working, or I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else but his health. He’d had two stents put in his arteries and a pretty serious obstruction taken care of. The cardiologist warned him that he needed to change his diet, start an exercise routine, and eliminate as much stress from his life as possible if he didn’t want to end up in a much more dire situation.
At first, I thought he would write the whole thing off as nothing more than an inconvenience like he usually did any major issue. But when I couldn’t stop crying each time I visited him in the hospital, I think he finally realized this matter wasn’t just taking a toll on him. I stayed with him for the week he was in the hospital, and then two more when he went home to recover. My dad was a tough guy and used to having his own space, so I knew I was wearing out my welcome with each passing day. It wasn’t like he was rude or overtly hinting he would like me to leave; it was more like he constantly asked about work and if it was okay that I was away from my responsibilities for so long. I think he wanted me to go back to California so he could sneak a cheeseburger once there was no risk of getting caught. He definitely wasn’t a fan of all the veggies that now made up the bulk of his diet.
I put down my phone and called out, “Dad.” When he turned to look in my direction, I gave him a grin. “I just sent a message to Lennon. She’s getting me a flight home either tomorrow or the next day. I’ll get out of your hair, but you have to promise not to give any of the new staff a hard time once I’m gone. I can’t let anything happen to you; you know that.”
I’d sent Arrow home last weekend to ensure everything on the home front was as it should be. She’d been a lifesaver, running errands and going to and fro so I didn’t have to be out in public much while I was here. It was pretty common knowledge that my dad lived in New Mexico and I visited often, but I still didn’t want his business made public. Miraculously, there hadn’t been a single leak about his heart condition or the fact that Salinger was in Santa Fe at the same time I was.
Salinger kept his promise not to say anything. If I didn’t have so much on my mind, I would’ve been pleasantly surprised.
Dad stopped his slow, shuffling pacing and turned to look at me. He was a tall man—one who was broad from years of manual labor and hard work. I’d inherited my dark hair from him, though his had gone very silvery at the temples and threaded through the front. He was handsome in a rough, rugged kind of way. I often wondered why he didn’t date much or take the chance to remarry. It wasn’t like he lacked attention from the opposite sex. I clearly remembered my fifth grade teacher having the biggest, most obvious crush on him. Sometimes I thought she called him in for parent-teacher conferences not because she was concerned about my progress, but because she wanted to flirt with him. I never understood why he stayed alone when he had women chasing after him all the time. His appeal hadn’t waned with age.
“That’s good. You should get back to work. You’ve been out of the public eye for too long. They might forget about you.” He gave me a grin to let me know he was just kidding and propped his hands on his hips. “This is the longest we’ve seen each other in a while. It was nice, but next time, let’s make sure neither one of us is recovering from a major medical incident.”
The last time we spent more than a few days together was when I went through the miscarriage. Much like I refused to leave him alone the last few weeks, he’d stuck close to my side for over a month when my life and mental state were in shambles.
“That sounds like a good plan. As for getting back to work, I told you, I haven’t found anything that has caught my interest. Lennon keeps sending stuff for me to look over, but it’s,” I shrugged, “blah.”
He made his way over to his favorite leather recliner and sat down carefully. I was used to him moving around like a clumsy giant, so to see him be so careful and delicate, I knew he was still hurting. It was really hard to see the man whom I always viewed as indestructible be so fragile. If I thought for a second he would let me, I would offer to quit working right this minute and move home to take care of him. But I knew there was no way he would let me walk away from my career after I’d worked so hard to revive it from the dead.
“Didn’t you tell me there was a script you liked but you weren’t going to do anything with it since you didn’t like the production team?” He reached for his glass of iced tea and closed his eyes as he leaned back in the weathered chair.
I’d told him about the script when I thought he was sleeping after his surgery. I was just rambling because I was nervous and I didn’t have anything else to say. I blurted out the whole story about the script and being tricked by Lennon and Salinger. I even told him that Salinger made sure I got to the hospital in one piece because I was a mess. I had no idea my dad was conscious enough to ta
ke in any of what I said.
“Remember the kid who got me kicked off the very first show I got cast in when things really felt like they were taking off for me career-wise?” I watched as he nodded a little sleepily. “He wrote the script. He actually told me he wrote the main lead with me in mind, but there is no way I can work with him again after everything that happened. Plus, he’s been in and out of trouble since then. No way I have any faith he’s cleaned up his act enough to head a project like this.”
The ice in my dad’s glass clinked together as he shifted and peeled open an eye to look at me. “Why are you still putting all the blame on a sixteen-year-old? What happened back then was absolutely awful, but what about that agent who ripped you off? He never even tried to change the outcome. And the producers? They made the final call to get rid of you, but didn’t you work with the same company on another movie not that long ago? You’re smart enough to know that a child isn’t the one who should be held accountable for what went down back then. There were a lot of adults who actively had a hand in screwing you over, but you had no trouble burying the hatchet with them.”
I felt my jaw drop as I blinked at my old man in silent shock. I couldn’t believe he remembered all those details. He always acted so disinterested and bored when I talked to him about my career. I always felt like he wanted to make sure I knew that he still didn’t approve of my choice to become an actress, even though I’d been in the industry for my entire adult life at this point.
“I can’t believe you know all of that. I always thought you weren’t paying attention when I talked to you about my work.”
His other eye snapped open, and he suddenly sat up straight in the chair, making it creak in protest. “Of course I pay attention. I may not understand half of what you say to me, but if it is important to you, then it is important to me. I just can’t offer much helpful insight because your world is totally foreign to me. I just have to hope I raised you to make the right choices with or without me.”
I was stunned. I always took his silence to heart and thought he was disappointed in me. I had no idea he was just supporting me in his own way. In the only way he knew how.
I smiled big and cheesy, feeling a lot happier than I had in a while. “You raised me right. I like to think I’ve managed to keep a pretty level head regardless of what Hollywood has thrown at me.”
He snorted and settled back into the recliner. “Then why are you still so pissed about what happened ten years ago? Why can’t you look past that and focus on the script that you obviously really love and want to work on?”
I balked a little bit, not only because he seemed to be taking Salinger’s side, but also because this was the first time he’d ever really shown any real interest in what I was or wasn’t working on. He’d told me once he’d only watched a couple of the movies I’d been in, and that he couldn’t handle watching me on TV because of the sexy scenes and all the kissing. He said it made him uncomfortable, which I claimed to understand, even though I was hurt deeply.
“Dad.” It was my turn to lean forward where I was sitting. I cocked my head to the side and regarded him seriously. “Why are you so invested in whether or not I work on this movie? You’ve never cared one way or the other before. It’s a little weird. I know you’re ready to get me out of your hair, but I already told you I’m leaving. There’s no need to push me at a script just to get your house back.”
I gasped as the ice tea went flying when he suddenly leapt to his feet. He was a big guy recovering from heart surgery, but he could still move fast when he wanted to. But apparently not without consequences, because he had to put a hand to his chest as he loomed over me, looking irritated beyond belief.
“I’m not telling you to consider the project to get rid of you. I’m telling you to think it over because it’s the first time you’ve seemed like your old self since everything that happened with the baby and that jackass of an ex-husband. You’ve been like a hollow shell for so long; I keep waiting for you to crack into a million pieces. I can’t remember the last time you smiled or laughed. You’ve been going through the motions of living. I’m worried that you forgot what being alive actually feels like. I don’t want my daughter to be so numb that she can’t feel anything ever. Trust me. I’m someone who has made that mistake. You deserve more out of life than that. I want more for you, and since the only time I’ve heard even a spark of excitement in your voice in over two years was when you talked about that script, well, that’s why I think you need to let bygones be bygones. People can change, Maren. Look at me. I’m going to eat salad all the time now. It won’t kill me.”
A startled laugh ripped out of my mouth as I tried to process all the information he’d just mercilessly launched at me, and his clear shade about his new, healthy diet. My dad wasn’t a big talker, so when he had something to say, it was ingrained in me to listen closely.
“I didn’t realize you were so attuned to me, Dad. I have to say I’m just a little bit surprised at all of this. I honestly thought everything I said to you about work went in one ear and out the other. I honestly believed you were still angry that I never became a CPA.”
“Your life would have been a lot easier if you’d become a CPA. The only two things in life that are certain are death and taxes. I would’ve been happy if you decided to become a funeral director. All I want for you is to be safe, healthy, happy, and always have a career where you can provide for yourself if something happens to me. You know how hard it was for me to take care of us when your mom suddenly passed away. I just wanted to make sure you never had to go through that again.”
I got to my feet and walked over to him so I could throw my arms around his neck and hug him like I was never going to let him go. When he awkwardly patted my back with a large, work-roughened hand, I immediately felt like I was five-years-old again. “I really love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, sweetie. And for the record, I’m not trying to get rid of you, but I do have my own life to live as well. I swear I’ll make the adjustments the doctors suggested and work on taking better care of myself so you don’t have to worry. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you want, but you have to stop treating me like I’m going to keel over at any second.”
I pulled back and chuckled. I slapped him on his shoulder lightly. “I get it. I’m cramping your style.” I batted my eyelashes up at him playfully. “Does that mean you’re finally getting out and meeting new people? Dare I ask if you’ve started to date?” I thought the day would never come.
He snorted and rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He sounded gruff, but I thought I detected a hint of red creeping up his neck.
Interesting.
I was going to dig deeper when my phone rang. Seeing Lennon’s number on the screen, I excused myself and took the call. I walked through the kitchen and out to the backyard, which my dad had turned into a desert oasis. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I answered, “What’s up?”
I hadn’t planned on forgiving her as quickly as I did, but when she showed up right before my father’s surgery and stayed with me until he was awake and talking, I knew I couldn’t fire her, no matter how pissed off I was at her.
“Your flight is at four tomorrow afternoon. Arrow will pick you up at the airport. Do you need anything for your pops before you head home?” I could hear traffic in the background, and her voice was cutting in and out.
“He seems good. As long as he doesn’t run off all the different specialists I hired to help him, I think he’ll bounce back in no time.” I lifted my eyebrows, even though she couldn’t see me. “He’s joined the ‘get-Maren-to-forgive-Salinger’ bandwagon. Apparently, he thinks I should reconsider working with him as well.” I scoffed.
“That ship has sailed, beautiful. I just heard today that Salinger’s people signed Piper Damon to play the lead. Apparently, they have to fend off investors left and right now that they’ve got her name attached.”
I paused as a ball of unease
slipped into my gut. My fingers curled tightly around the phone, and my face twisted into a scowl before I could control it. “Isn’t Piper like twenty-one or twenty-two? The character in the script is in her thirties.”
I could imagine Lennon’s shrug. “Who cares? They can do magic with makeup and special effects these days. Word on the street is she’s using the role to shake her Disney Princess image. Have to say, she and Salinger will definitely look good together on the screen.”
I huffed out an annoyed breath, not sure why I was feeling so irritated. “He’s not going to pop up on my flight home, is he?”
She laughed in my ear, still showing no remorse for her sneak attack. “No. I promised you I wouldn’t say anything else about Salinger or the project. I know I crossed the line, and I won’t do it again. Call me if anything comes up that you need me to handle with your flight. I’m in meetings all day tomorrow, so you might have to go through Ava until I’m free.” Ava was Lennon’s much-beleaguered assistant and a true saint. I had no idea how she kept up with Lennon day in and day out.
“I’m an adult. If anything pops up, I’ll handle it. Talk to you soon.” We said goodbye, and I threw myself onto one of the lounge chairs near the pool. I pushed my hair out of my face and sighed while looking up at the sky.
I was immensely bothered that Salinger found someone else to fill the role he specifically wrote for me. I knew business had to go on, and that his new venture couldn’t grind to halt because I said no, but still, I was more unsettled than I should be about the situation.
Coming and going, that guy got under my skin. Or maybe, he’d always been there under the surface, and I’d never managed to dig him out. Which was why I was still so cold and hostile toward him whenever our lives intersected. He was always there, irritating, annoying, constantly poking at the tender places I liked to keep hidden.
A Righteous Man Page 7