Wolf's Eye

by Rae D. Magdon

  I wrote Ellie a long letter back. I told her about Jana Farseer and Aria and about Changing. Larna had been practicing it with me on nights when she got back earlier. It was not hard to change into my wolf form. I had to think of things that a wolf would think of. Running and hunting and smells that a wolf knew. Then, I pictured myself turning, and I did. It was easier if I was running.

  It was harder to change back into a human. I had to think of human things. On my third time, I discovered a trick that helped a little. I thought about kissing Larna. I needed human lips to do that. When I pictured it, I had lips again.

  The Change did not hurt my body, but sometimes the wolfskin belt fused to my waist ached. I wanted to pull it off. The skin around it was swollen and puffy, but Larna had checked it for me and said it did not look infected.

  Larna came in just as I signed my letter and closed the book. “Writing to your friend again, Catie?”

  “Yes,” I said. I got up to give her a big hug. We held on longer than usual, but neither of us wanted to let go.

  “Be you writing about me to this Ellie of yours?” she teased. I pulled out of her arms, but not before she gave me another squeeze.

  “Yes,” I told her, a little embarrassed. “After all, you saved my life.”

  Larna gave a small smile. “I am glad you were all right.”

  “Ellie and her wife are glad, too,” I said.

  Larna’s eyebrows shot up. She looked very surprised. “Her wife? I thought they were not allowing things like that in Seria.”

  I grinned. “They don’t. But they are very much in love. They keep it a secret.”

  Larna was quiet for a moment. I noticed that she was studying me thoughtfully. I could not read her brown eyes, but I loved looking at them and trying. She opened her mouth to speak. There was something vulnerable in her face as she said, “if I… were after looking for a mate… it would be another female.” The last few words were almost a whisper, but I heard them clearly. My heart flew up into my throat.

  “Me too,” I whispered back.

  Larna rocked from one foot to the other, her hands buried in the pockets of her leggings. I chewed on one corner of my lip. She looked adorable, like a nervous child. I had never seen this side of her. The strong, silent warrior was sensitive, too. “I am glad you told me about your friend. I was not knowing if a Serian would judge me.”

  “I am not a Serian,” I reminded her. “I was born here. I would never judge you for that.” I could only hope that Larna would not judge me when she found out that I was Ariada. Although I was back in Amendyr now, some of my Serian habits lingered. I did not consciously decide to hide my Seeing from Larna and the rest of the Farseer pack, but I did not tell them, either. In Seria, such things brought only trouble.

  Larna glanced at the journal. It was still in my right hand. She took it from me and put it back on the table, making sure it was in a safe place. “Would you be telling your friend Arim Dei for me, Catie?” she asked.

  “I will,” I promised. “I already told her all about you.”

  “Not everything, I hope.” Larna watched me, considering something. Then, she opened her arms for another hug. I gladly gave it to her. Hugs from Larna were my new favorite thing. Her body was tall and strong and just right against mine. “Someday, I would like to meet your friend Ellie,” Larna said.

  The corners of my lips curled up. I always seemed to smile around Larna. “I think both of you would like that.” I would like it, too.

  …

  Not surprisingly, my secret – or my curse – was discovered anyway. It was not dramatic, like the vision at the Prince’s Cup. I did not see pictures and collapse to the ground. It started when Larna told me that she needed to chop wood. She was tall and strong, with a smooth coat of muscle, and often did heavier work even though she was female. The bad feelings came immediately.

  “Do it another day,” I suggested, not wanting to get into a long discussion. “It will probably rain later today anyway.”

  Larna looked at me strangely. “Little bird, there be no clouds in the entire sky. It is a good day to be working outside.” I walked over to the door of our cabin and looked out, disappointed to see that the sky was a clear, pale blue. There was no sign of rain.

  I tried something else. “I wanted to spend the day with you. I want to practice Changing. We were both busy yesterday.”

  Larna nodded. “That is a good idea. After I bring in the wood, we can be doing whatever you like.” She gave me a beautiful smile, but it did not soothe me.

  “I have a strange feeling,” I tried to explain. “A feeling that you should not go out.”

  “I have those feelings every morning when I am needing to work,” Larna teased. I realized that she was not going to take me seriously and dropped the subject. Perhaps it was only a feeling. People had feelings all the time. Not every emotion I had was connected to my gift. Besides, there had been no bright, blinding vision. I was still sitting upright in my chair. But this did feel curiously like Knowing.

  The unpleasant feelings lingered for the next few hours. I distracted myself by cleaning everything – the bed, the table, the floors, even just outside the door. I helped cook lunch with some of the others and read a new letter from Ellie in our journal. Apparently, Sarah and the Prince were also writing letters. I was amazed. That strange piece of news was enough to distract me until I heard a pounding on the door.

  “Who is it?” I called out as I got up from my chair.

  “Aria. Let me in, Cate.” Surprised, I hurried to the door and let her in.

  “Is Larna all right? What happened to her?”

  “There was an accident,” she explained. “A tree was rotted inside and the wind pushed it over. It almost fell on Larna and Goran. They moved away in time, but it could have been crushing them both!”

  My stomach sank, and I Knew that this was what my feelings had been trying to tell me. Aria’s eyes focused on me like hot beams of light. “You Knew… how did you know that I came here about Larna? You were asking before I even mentioned her name.”

  I bit down nervously on one corner of my mouth. Confronted directly, I could not lie about my gift. “I Knew this morning that something would happen if Larna went out today. I hoped that I was wrong.”

  “You Knew?” Aria asked. She was surprised, but not skeptical. “Are you Ariada ?”

  “Yes, I am.” Strangely, I was relieved to admit this to her.

  I was even more relieved when Aria took my hand, but that feeling quickly vanished when she said, “we will go and tell Farseer. He should know about all these things.” She took my hand and led me through the door. I followed reluctantly.

  “Why were you not telling us that you Saw?” Aria asked as she pulled me along. I dragged behind her, a little nervous about telling my story to Jana Farseer.

  “I tried, but Larna did not listen when I told her to stay.”

  Aria rolled her eyes. “She would have, if you explained that you had the Sight. You are in Amendyr again, Cate. We are understanding magic here.” She was right, of course. Living in Seria for so many years had changed me – I kept my Knowing a secret. But now, I could be myself again. “Your family has Seer blood?” she asked as we walked. I tripped behind her, dragged by the wrist, stumbling every few steps.

  “Yes…” I admitted.

  “Can you heal? Be you a Shaman, then?”

  “I don’t know!” I said, frustrated. Aria was asking too many questions and I could not keep them straight. I thought about it. “I can clean wounds. They heal well.”

  “Anyone can clean wounds,” she said. This time, Aria was the one who sounded irritated.

  “So, you are having no idea what kind of magic you use?”

  “None.” Aria stopped and I stopped behind her, almost falling on top of her. She whirled around to face me. “We will be asking Farseer if you can study with our Shaman.”

  My eyes grew wide. “You have a Shaman?” I had heard of Shamans, of cour
se. They used powerful magic to do all kinds of things, but I did not know very much about how they were chosen or what sort of things they studied.

  “Aye, a good one. She’s getting on, could use an apprentice. She could be helping you, even if you are only an Oracle of some kind.”

  “Well, what’s the difference?”

  “Between an Oracle and a Shaman? A Shaman can be talking with Spirits to know the future, to heal the sick, to control nature. They know the magic of the Soul. An Oracle uses Signs to ask questions of the future. They read the stars, the leaves, even the lines in your hand. Both can be using visions. Have you ever had visions?”

  A thought struck me. “Wait… How do you know so much about magic?”

  Aria smiled. With her thin face and her narrowed eyes, she looked strangely like a wolf, even though she was in her human skin. “Many of us in Amendyr use magic. I make things.” So, that explained how Aria got through her work so quickly. It also explained where some of the enchanted clothing and armor in the camp had come from. Well, it was certainly a practical skill. “Now, stop staring at me like a gaping fish and go in!”

  I realized that I was gaping at her and that we were standing in front of Farseer’s tent. Two firm hands pushed between my shoulder blades and sent me stumbling in. I staggered forward. My pupils grew larger in the dark. Jana Farseer was sitting inside and Yerta was with him. Both smiled at me.

  “Arim dei, little sister,” said Farseer. “Was that Aria outside I was hearing?”

  “Yes,” I said. The entire story spilled out of me. The tree that had almost fallen on Larna and Goran, how I had Known about it, and several other things that Aria was not aware of, like my vision of Brahms at the Prince’s Cup. I explained that my family had always been different, but when we moved to Seria, I decided to hide my gifts.

  My voice trailed off into the dark tent, leaving me feeling emptied and nervous. Farseer shifted in his seat. He stood up from the three-legged wooden stool that he had been using, resting his arm on the table. With curious eyes, he studied me, examining my face carefully. I clenched and unclenched my hands.

  “Well, Cathelin, I think you had better be after paying a visit to Kalwyn.”

  The name was ancient Amendyri and it meant, appropriately, ‘one who knows’.

  “Kalwyn?” I asked. “Is she a Shamaness?”

  “Aye. I canna say how old she is, but she has lived longer than my father and perhaps his father before him.”

  “If she is older than Farseer, she must be a thousand!” Yerta said cheerfully.

  Farseer growled at him, but did not seem angry. “Quiet, young pup. I can still pin you in less than three seconds.”

  “He could, too,” Yerta whispered loudly, winking at me. My nervousness started to go away.

  “Anyway, Kalwyn makes her home in the Forest. She is not Wyr, but she hates Mogra and the witch willna come near her. She will know what to do with you.”

  “When will I go? How will I get there?”

  I had so many more questions to ask, but Farseer said, “I will be sending Larna with you. You and she are friends, yes? I canna be sending you out alone. You do not know the Forest. Go and tell Larna to come see me. I will be writing a letter for you to give to Kalwyn.” I stood in place, still smiling because Larna would be going with me. “Cate? Go…” Farseer prodded, not unkindly. I had to stop myself from running out of the tent at a full sprint.

  Larna was surprised and then pleased when I told her. I was glad, because I had been worried that she would not want to go with me to see Kalwyn. “You, a Shaman? I canna – ” she started, still absorbing what I had said. “Well, I thought you were having a magical look about you. I mean, not magical… well…” It was the first time that I had seen Larna at a loss for words and it made me feel more comfortable around her. “I am glad for you, little bird.” I was beginning to like that special-name more and more.

  “I am glad, too. So, you will take me?”

  “Aye, I will be taking you. I have not been after seeing Kalwyn in three years. I was hurt out on the hunt and she healed me. It is a noble art to be learning, surely.”

  The thought of Larna being hurt unsettled me, but I was glad that she did not mind walking me to my first lesson. I would be glad of her company. Perhaps more than I wanted to admit.

  …

  Chapter Nine:

  Kalwyn’s small house was crammed with so many things that it took several moments for me to notice her at all. It is normal to examine a new place when you first walk in, but Kalwyn’s living quarters were so eclectic that I could not help staring. Bottles and books and baubles of all sorts were crammed into cupboards, tossed carelessly across tables, and covered the furniture, including the three chairs around a wooden table.

  There was a finely carved hourglass on a table next to the entrance and my hand almost knocked it over as I reached to close the door behind me. There were detailed anatomy sketches of Liarre – half man, half beast tribes that lived in the west – tacked on the walls in one corner and a cage of brightly colored lizards in another. Whoever this Kalwyn was, she certainly enjoyed collecting things! I stepped forward into the room and began to look around.

  “She knew you were coming,” Larna said, glancing around. “This place is cleaner than I have ever been seeing on a visit.”

  I moved aside a tiny chest with my foot and a strange humming noise buzzed reproachfully from inside. I did not open it. Over the fire was a simmering brown pot that spat and fizzed and steamed. No smell came from whatever was inside, but the smell of the rest of the place was overpowering. There was dust and paper and old wood, with lots of oil. It reminded me of a library and made me feel a little sleepy. But underneath that, there was the familiar, almost warm smell of magical energy.

  The smell of magic grew stronger very quickly and I looked up to see an old woman in a dull green coat step out of the maze of stacked books and tables and curious contraptions. She carried a walking stick with one hand, nearly knocking over a very tall, thin wire that spiraled in the shape of a corkscrew. “Well then, let’s be having a look at you,” she said, not bothering to introduce herself or ask my name. She grabbed my chin in a wrinkled but firm hand and pulled it closer to her face. Her grip was surprisingly strong. “Of course, I should have guessed. I knew your grandmother.”

  I was surprised. “My grandmother? I mean, I am Cathelin Raybrook, and I –”

  “Yes, yes, I know all that. You should be knowing that your grandmother fell asleep two years ago, child.” My mouth went dry and a stinging tightness built in my throat. I thought I had prepared myself for the possibility, but her loss was still a blow, even after so many years. “She passed comfortably.”

  “Thank you,” I said scratchily, “for telling me. I…” Kalwyn produced a cloth from somewhere in her robe and passed it to me. As I wiped at the soft tears that rolled from my eyes, Larna wrapped a strong arm around my shoulder.

  When my tears slowed down, I handed the cloth back to Kalwyn. “Thank you,” I said again. “I am sorry.”

  “It is wise to grieve, but you came here for a reason. I will be dealing with you more in a moment.” She turned to Larna. “Now you, young pup, be after taking that pot off the fireplace, if you please.”

  “Surely, Grandmother,” Larna said politely. She seemed to respect Kalwyn. I watched her back as she walked towards the fire, but Kalwyn tapped my hand with her stick sharply. I pulled my hand back in surprise, almost wanting to suck on my fingers like a scolded child.

  “Stop making cow eyes!” she said loudly. I blushed fiercely, and my face was still a little red from crying. “Go to the kitchen and get a bowl.”

  “But where is the kitchen?” I managed to ask, trying to push thoughts of my grandmother and Larna out of my head.

  “Over there,” she said, gesturing with an old, twisted hand to her right. I saw a doorway with a strange tribal mask perched above it and wrinkled my nose at its twisted eyes and mouth. “Oh, don’t
you be minding him, he always looks unpleasant,” Kalwyn said lightly. “Good for warning me about guests, though.”

  I felt magical energy coming from the mask, but decided to save my questions about it – and the rest of the house – for later. My mind was too full already. I went to the kitchen, which turned out to be just as crowded as the first room. There were no dirty dishes or crumbs on the floor, but clean dishes were shoved haphazardly into wobbly stacks and cleaning rags and empty sacks lay scattered around the room. I found a bowl near the sink and carried it back into the first room.

  “Ah, good. Give it here, girl,” said Kalwyn when I returned. I handed it to her, and she took it with both hands, shuffling over with a hop-step to the pot. She looked rather silly for a powerful magic-worker, I thought. She did not look like a shaman at all, more like an eccentric old collector. She certainly did have a lot of things in her house.

  Involuntarily, I reached out to touch a strange crystal shaped into three pronged spikes.

  “Leave it be, child. Now, come to the fire.”

  I joined Kalwyn and Larna at the fire. Cupping the bowl with two hands, she dipped it in the pot and scooped some liquid. She held the bowl out to me. The liquid inside looked like clear water. “Dip two fingers in, your second and third. Then be after stirring the bowl seven times to the right.”

  While she held the bowl, I dipped my second and middle finger. The potion felt ordinary, almost like warm water. But when I started stirring to the right, the water began to shimmer and glow with golden ripples. I made seven circles and took my fingers out.

  “Ah yes,” Kalwyn said, mostly to herself, “she is having the touch.” I rubbed my two fingers and thumb together, bringing the potion near my nose. It had no smell, but now that I could feel it, the texture was more like oil than water.