Coletti Warlords: Just Desserts

by Gail Koger

Datlow crawled over me. “You’re one noisy female.”

  “And you’re one dead freak.”

  “Am I?” He cut through the webbing, and I fell. Again.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I waited to die. Instead of landing in the water, a familiar pair of arms caught me.

  Talree wiped the muck off my face. “How can one small female cause so much trouble?”

  “Shit magnet.” I sniffed, fighting back tears. I had reached my limit. I wanted, needed my family. “Please, take me home.”

  “Not an option,” Talree retorted and carried me inside the barge.

  Chapter Eleven

  God, it was hot. And why was I covered with a blanket? I tried to kick it off.

  The furry blanket chittered in irritation.

  Huh? I opened my eyes and bolted upright. “Holy shit!” There were spiders everywhere. The bed, the barge walls, and a couple were even clinging to my naked body. I smacked frantically at them. “Get off. Get off! Oh my God, get the hell off me. And what happened to my clothes?”

  “Relax, they’re our guards, and you couldn’t sleep in your filthy overall,” Tae said sleepily. The kids were snuggled on her back.

  “Guards? Why do we need guards?”

  “Our bossy pricks decided it wasn’t safe to leave us alone while they scout the area.”

  I drew an angry breath. Talree just took off and left me here? If the Master of the Universe pulled this crap again, he’d be singing soprano. “I’m surprised they didn’t try to kill each other.”

  “They found they had much in common.”

  “Killing the trappers probably didn’t hurt either.”

  “Datlow was quite impressed with Talree’s ability to kill.”

  What could I say? “He’s a Warlord”? That was when I noticed our guards were giving me the evil eye. “What? Is a naked human female too much for your delicate senses? If so, leave!”

  The freaks continued to stare at me.

  “Get the hell out!”

  They didn’t move an inch.

  I pushed at the spiders crouched on my thighs. They wouldn’t budge. “Look, you hairy little creeps, I’m hungry and I need to pee. Get the hell off me.”

  “Let her up,” Tae ordered.

  The Tabors reluctantly crawled up the walls.

  All those eyes on me made my skin itch. I rushed into the tiny bathroom. The sooner I got off this hellhole, the happier I would be.

  Rubbing my gritty eyes, I perched on the edge of the funky square toilet and hissed when something scurried across my foot. Wonderful. Every one of the freaks had followed me. “Aw, c’mon. Can’t a girl have some privacy?”

  A warrior with streaks of gray in his fur crawled up the wall until he could look me in the eye. “If we leave you alone and unguarded, your mate will kill us. If he does not, Datlow will.”

  “Fine. Whatever.” Another bossy prick to deal with. My bladder was about to burst. I would pretend like they weren’t there. A Tabor sat on my foot. Yeah, that so wasn't going to work.

  I hurriedly finished and went to wash my hands. My eyes widened in horror when I saw myself in the cracked mirror. My hair was matted to my skull, and pieces of swamp scum decorated my face. I looked down and winced. Dried mud coated my body. My loving mate hadn’t even attempted to clean me up.

  I sniffed my armpits. Yeow! Maybe the smell had run him off.

  Rain suddenly pounded against the hull. I quickly grabbed the shampoo, soap, and my overalls. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  The bossy prick grumbled, “You’ll just get dirty again.”

  “Probably.” I stomped outside and started scrubbing. Once I was clean, I went to work on my overalls.

  The Tabors crowded around me, chittering their displeasure at getting wet.

  I threw my hands up in disgust. “Give me a friggin’ break. A little water isn’t going to hurt you.”

  “Our nests are waterproof,” the bossy old guy responded grumpily.

  “Go. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”

  “Silly female, you are as helpless as a newborn.”

  “Bite me,” I snarled.

  They all charged me.

  I jumped back. “Hey! Are you crazy?” In my mind, I could hear them snickering at scaring the little humanoid. “Not funny.”

  “But you frighten so easily.” The old guy chortled.

  Okay, I’d be the first to admit this planet had made me a bit skittish. But, dammit, I was a Siren, and they owed me some respect. “Listen, you little bug. I have killed hundreds of monsters.”

  The not so little bug brushed his hairy leg across my foot.

  A girlish yelp broke from me. God, what was wrong with me? Even Talree’s mental woo-woo to fix my spider heebie-jeebies wasn’t working.

  The Tabors’ hoots of laughter reverberated in my head.

  Where was a can of bug spray when you needed it? “Nothing personal, but eight-legged critters give me the willies.” I shot them mental images of my run-in with the wolf spiders.

  The old guy sidled over to me. “A few tiny cousins crawl on you, and you become a scared little petka?”

  Fuck. Petka was their version of a bunny rabbit. Enough was enough. Linking with them, I showed them my battles with the Tai-Kok. “Still think I’m a petka?”

  “Pardon our disrespect. You are a killer petka.”

  “How’d you like to get drop-kicked off this boat, old man?”

  The old man shot straight up and landed on my shoulder. I froze as his fangs nibbled on my neck. “Try it.”

  “Nice trick. What’s your name?”

  “Bey.”

  “Okay, Bey, how about we declare a truce? I’ll go back to doing my laundry, and you can do whatever it is you do.”

  “An excellent idea, petka.” He slowly inched his way down my body.

  “For God’s sake, give it a rest. You’ve made your point.” I tried to shake Bey off my leg.

  He clung to me. “There is a term polite humanoids use. What is it? Ah, now I remember. The word is ‘please.’”

  I drew back my left leg to kick him to hell and gone.

  Bey’s fangs clamped down on my right calf.

  Exhaling a long breath, I gave the prick a bright smile. “Please get the fuck off my leg.”

  He hopped off, and the other warriors gave him the Tabor version of a high-five.

  The kids giggled. “Uncle Bey says he taught squealing female a lesson.”

  Tae’s laughter filled my head. “My brother is one… What do you say on Earth? Oh, yes, one tough cookie?”

  “Your brother, huh? Lucky him. Now I can’t fry him.” My foot was suddenly webbed to the deck.

  “Go ahead and try, petka.”

  Testosterone should be outlawed. “We have something called bug spray on my world, and you need a healthy dose.”

  “And you need to respect your superiors.”

  “Superior. You? Fat chance.”

  “Kaylee,” Talree growled in my mind. “Behave yourself.”

  “Me? But—”

  “You will do as I command.”

  “Sure. Why don’t I slit my throat while I’m at it? That way, you don’t have to deal with me anymore.”

  Talree’s gruff voice had a menacing edge to it. “Kaylee.”

  “Okay, fine. Your wish is my command.” I tugged on my foot. “Where are you?”

  “Doing recon. Stop irritating the warriors and stay on the barge.” He broke the link.

  “Love you too.” I yanked, and yanked and yanked. Shit. I was stuck. The next time I took a shower, I would be armed to the teeth. “Could you please free my foot?”

  “It would be my honor.” Bey nipped at my toes and rubbed himself against my leg.

  If he started humping me, I was gonna— Agony seared every nerve ending, and a scream tore from me. My legs buckled, and I crumpled to the deck as violent muscle spasms contorted my body.

  “Petka? Petka? Where are you injured?”

/>   I struggled to breathe. “I… I…”

  The babies scurried over me, wailing loudly. “Don’t die. Don’t die.”

  Tae stroked my face. “Can you tell us what happened?”

  “Don’t… Don’t know. It just hit me.”

  The warriors hovered protectively around me. Horror flared to life as I realized it was Talree’s pain I had felt. He had been shot with a stun gun, and since we were linked, I took the hit too. I reached out frantically. “Talree?”

  “I’m not dead yet.” His rage was a living thing.

  “Did the Rodan attack you?” I grunted when a booted foot kicked us in the stomach. Damn, that hurt.

  “Rogue Colettis.” Talree tried to rise, only to be knocked back down by a vicious blow to his head.

  Everything went black for a time.

  “Petka? Petka,” Bey prodded insistently.

  My thoughts spun chaotically. Why did my head hurt? Had someone hit me?

  “Petka?”

  “Why did you hit me?”

  “Open your eyes, Kaylee,” Tae ordered.

  “’Kay.” I obediently opened my eyes, but everything was a blur. Blinking rapidly, I finally managed to clear my vision. Fuck. Just what I wanted to see. Spiders. Big, hairy spiders. Everywhere. If this didn’t cure my bug phobia, nothing would.

  Tae asked, “Can you sit up?”

  “Oh my God! Talree.” I shot to my feet, and a jolt of raw fear shook me. “I can’t feel him. He can’t be dead. He just can’t.”

  “He’s alive,” Datlow reassured me.

  I took a shuddering breath. “How badly is he hurt?”

  “The rogue beat him, but his injuries appear survivable.”

  The rogue was a dead man. “What happened?”

  Datlow projected the image of a huge, scar-faced Coletti warrior into my mind. “The ugly one said the Overlord had sent him. When Talree went to meet him, he ambushed.”

  A rusty metal warehouse took form in my head. “They took Talree inside.”

  “How many warriors does Ugly have?”

  “Many.”

  “Are they all Coletti?”

  “No. There are rat creatures too.” Datlow strengthened our link and showed me a shitload of Rodan swarming around the warehouse.

  Dammit. I was outnumbered twenty to one. Despair sank its teeth into me, and my shoulders slumped. The bastards held the winning hand.

  Then I got mad. Was I a quitter? Hell, no. Those bastards had just made the biggest mistake of their lives. A feral grin curved my mouth. They were about to meet a woman suffering from PMS and a serious lack of chocolate. From now on, when a rogue heard my name, he would run screaming. Ditto for the Rodan.

  Surprise, surprise, Bey had freed my foot. I pulled on my wet overalls and quickly braided my hair. If I had my own army…

  “You have an army, petka,” Bey said.

  “Are you reading my mind?”

  “Once you linked with me and our minds connected, a bond was formed. My family can share the link,” Tae announced with a touch of unease in her voice. “I hope you consider us friends.”

  “I do.” Me, BFFs with a spider. Fate had a weird sense of humor. “I do have a question for Datlow. Why are you helping us? You usually kill humanoids.”

  “You saved Tae and the children. Tabors always pay their debts,” Datlow answered.

  Wow. Color me surprised. “Let’s go kick some butt.”

  The kids bounced up and down on my head. “We help. We help.”

  “Aw, thanks, sweeties.” I went inside the cabin, pulled on my boots, and grabbed my laser pistol and rifle. “How far away are you, Datlow?”

  “Ten of your clicks.”

  The barge only managed five miles an hour. Talree could be dead before we reached him. There was just one person with enough power to save him. Zarek. Our last meeting hadn’t been pretty. I had helped Talree reestablish his link with his dad and relay the joyous news that Zarek's own son, Malik, was plotting to kill him. Needless to say, Zarek had been beyond pissed.

  Gathering my courage, I reached out and politely knocked on Zarek’s mind. “Uh, sir, I need your help.”

  A terrifying power engulfed my mind. “What’s wrong?”

  “Talree has been captured by rogue Colettis and the Rodan.”

  Zarek’s rage knocked me to my knees. Shit. Should have seen that one coming. Breathe. Just keep breathing. He won’t kill you. He won’t kill you.

  “How did this happen?”

  I quickly showed him the image of the scar-faced rogue and told him what Datlow had seen.

  “Balldar.” Zarek’s voice was laced with menace. He turned his attention to Datlow. “You have no doubt Balldar betrayed my son?”

  Datlow calmly replied, “None.”

  Zarek seized Datlow’s mind.

  “Whoa! What are you doing? He’s on our side.” I felt Datlow’s shields shatter and instinctively threw up another one to protect him. Oh man, when had I become suicidal? “Stop! We need him.”

  “You dare to defy me?”

  A low moan tore from me. It felt like he was squashing my brain. “If it saves Talree, yes.”

  The fierce pressure stopped, and I could feel Zarek’s approval. “My son chose well.”

  My right eye twitched, and I babbled nervously, “Wow. I don’t know what to say. Thank you? I’m honored. Really honored. Can you… I mean, could you teleport me to where they’re holding Talree prisoner? Is that doable?”

  “I am Coletti.”

  I guessed that was a yes.

  “Show me where my son is being held.”

  “Datlow?”

  The image of an island formed in my mind. A rusty metal warehouse squatted in the middle of a muddy clearing. Dead trees clustered around the building. The fragile branches swayed in the breeze, and a shimmering veil of silk sparkled in the sun. The bones of long-dead creatures hung in the webbing.

  “Oh my God, they put their base by a Kotsor’s nest?”

  “The fools will soon realize their mistake,” Datlow replied.

  I did a little happy dance. All I had to do was rile up the eight-legged freaks and sic ’em on the idiot rogues. “Where’s a good place for me to teleport in?”

  A huge sausage tree appeared in my mind. “The third branch beneath the lightning damage.”

  “Zarek?” He seized control of my mind, and it took everything I had not to scream blue bloody murder. “Petrifying” didn’t even begin to describe it, but I could do this. I had to do this, or Talree died.

  “You ready, female?”

  “Kaylee. My name is Kaylee. Not ‘female.’”

  Datlow hastily added, “She means no disrespect, my lord. All she wants is to save her mate.”

  “My son will have his hands full with this one.”

  “That he will,” Datlow answered, every ounce the diplomat.

  “We’re wasting time we don’t have, sir.”

  Zarek laughed. “I like your tenacity, daughter.”

  “I’m a cop. Tenacity is my middle name. Do I need to do anything?”

  “No.”

  Datlow, Bey, Tae, and a bunch of warriors suddenly jumped on me.

  “What the fuck?” There was a flash of black, and I was standing on the third branch.

  Chapter Twelve

  I teetered wildly, struggling to keep my balance. “There’re too many of you. We’re gonna fall!”

  The Tabor shifted their weight.

  “Not helping.” Arms flailing, I staggered like a drunken sailor. My muddy boots slipped off the branch, and down I went.

  Tae, my BFF, bailed, and the others quickly followed.

  Branches whizzed by, whacking me in the face. “Help!”

  Splat! Something smacked into my back. Whoosh! Up I flew.

  “Grab the branch!” Bey hollered.

  “Gee, ya think?” I managed to latch on to a handful of leaves and tried to pull myself up. They slipped through my fingers. Whoosh! Back down I went. />
  It was like being stuck on a damn bungee cord.

  Up.

  Down.

  Up.

  Down.

  My stomach roiled. Just when I thought I would lose my lunch, we slowed.

  “Wheee. Fun!” the kids yelled. “Do again.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “You no fun.”

  “Yeah, I’m a regular party pooper.” I looked down and gasped. I bobbed wildly above a Coletti warrior, and he definitely wasn’t one of the good guys.

  Zarek spat something nasty in Coletti.

  “I take it you know him?”

  “Haas sits on the high council.”

  “Guess there will be a vacancy soon.”

  “Very soon.”

  Haas stiffened and looked up.

  Talk about mean looking. I pasted a friendly smile on my face and waved. “Hello, there. Could you help me? I seem to be stuck.”

  “You’re the Siren the Rodan hunt.”

  Rats. “Boy, you’re a smart one. I bet there’s a big reward for me too.”

  “There is.” He drew his laser pistol.

  “Wait! No body. No reward.”

  He fired.

  The webbing vanished, and I slammed face-first into the ground. Well, that felt good. I spat out a mouthful of mud. Yuck. With my luck, it probably had the alien version of Ebola in it.

  Haas planted a massive knee in my back and took my pistol. “Malik wants you badly.”

  “Oh goodie. Malik and the Rodan get to fight over me? To the victor goes the spoils and all that shit?”

  “The Rodan follow Malik.”

  On a private link, I asked Zarek, “Did you know that?”

  “No.”

  “You stink of Talree,” Haas growled. He rose, lifting me straight up by my neck.

  “Well, buddy, you smell like something that’s been dead for a year.” I jammed my thumb into his throat.

  Haas shook me like a rag doll.

  “Do not provoke him, petka.”

  “He’s choking the life out of me, and all you got is, ‘don’t provoke him’? Help me or shut the fuck up.” I thrust my palm into the rogue’s nose. Crap. He never even blinked. I hit him again.

  Blood trickling from his nose, Haas snarled, “I will drain you dry.”

  “That’s his line,” I said, a second before Datlow struck.

  “You still die.” The rogue tightened his grip.