A French Affair

by Susan Lewis

  Jessica’s eyes went only briefly to Luc as he and Daniella laughed. This was proving even harder than she’d expected, for just seeing his arm around Lilian was causing all kinds of problems inside her.

  ‘Have you shown everyone the jewellery?’ Luc asked, glancing down at Lilian.

  ‘No, we’re doing that tomorrow, after lunch,’ she answered. ‘Have you and Claude worked out what you’re going to do about seating for the concert yet?’

  ‘We’re getting there.’

  ‘You know, I could always talk to Madame Bouvier about borrowing, or hiring, some chairs,’ she suggested, falling into the domestic trivia common to wives and husbands. ‘I’ll see her on Tuesday at the meeting for the vignerons’ ball. She knows anyone and everyone, so she’s sure to have some ideas.’ Then, turning excitedly back to Jessica, ‘You and Charlie should try to get over when it’s happening. It’s great fun. You’ll love it, and you can always stay with us if someone’s in the cottage, can’t they darling?’

  ‘Of course,’ Luc responded, ‘and I believe my father’s already made the suggestion.’

  Whether or not he was looking at her Jessica didn’t know, for she’d felt it wiser to turn her eyes vaguely towards Fernand. She really couldn’t look at Luc while Lilian was there, because Lilian always saw too much, and feeling the way she did she was afraid of how much there was to see. Then to her relief he was waving to Yves, Claude’s brother, who’d just strolled over from his car.

  ‘Darling, before you go,’ Lilian said, catching his arm, ‘is it OK if I take our visitors to see the sculptures? The Schmidts were asking, so were – what’s the name of the French couple?’

  ‘Coursan. Félice and Gilles,’ Luc reminded her. ‘The studio’s not locked, so go ahead.’

  ‘Perhaps I can come and see the one of you?’ Jessica suggested.

  Lilian laughed and grimaced. ‘Next to yours, I’m afraid you’ll see just how sadly mine pales,’ she said, linking Jessica’s arm to start across the terrace. ‘But I was probably expecting too much. Maybe next time, he won’t be so honest.’

  Since she was supposed to laugh, Jessica did, but she had to add, ‘Honestly, Lily, you really shouldn’t put yourself down. You’re gorgeous, and not only on the outside, because if the rest of us were even half as beautiful as you on the inside we could count ourselves truly blessed.’

  Lilian gave a hoot of laughter. ‘Believe me,’ she stated dryly, ‘I’m no less terrible inside than anyone else, but I have to admit I’m finding it hard to pull any bad feelings out of the hat right now. Oh Jessica, I’m so happy to be back and to have you here . . . And we still have plenty of time to be just us before Charlie comes, because Harry’s bound to be all tied up with Antoine and Elodie, and Luc’s always in his studio or somewhere. I’m absolutely dying for a chat. I’ve got so much to tell you, but we’d best go and gather up the Schmidts and the Coursans now. Have you been introduced to any of them yet?’

  ‘I met the Schmidts earlier, as they came back from a walk,’ Jessica replied, already smiling to greet them again, and a few minutes later, having shaken hands with the Coursans too, they were all on their way to look at the sculptures.

  Virtually the instant she stepped into the studio Jessica wished she hadn’t come, not only because of the memories that swept over her in a wave of guilt, but because the contrast between her likeness and Lilian’s was so startling that everyone fell silent. A beat later they were all talking at once, admiring both sculptures, but paying such effusive compliments to Lilian about hers that it only seemed to make matters worse. In the end, realising the best way to help Lilian out of her embarrassment was to leave, Jessica excused herself and went to rejoin the party.

  To her relief she found herself seated between Claude and Fernand at the table, while Luc was at the other end next to Lilian – the only couple seated together. And as Fernand’s helpers for the evening began serving the first course of watercress soup with an artistic swirl of whipped crème fraiche and jaunty sprigs of mint, she focused her attention on Claude, who was extolling the virtues of a very fine Montrachet – fruity, not too much body and with a delicious aftertaste of almonds. She tested the wine too, enjoying the little knowledge she’d gained from Luc, then after a while the subject moved to the following weekend’s concert. This was causing Claude some concern, since the line-up so far consisted only of Daniella, who was singing three of her favourite Puccini arias, and Yves, who was arranging a musical transition from Satie, to Debussy, to Schubert. Since those two, between them, could easily fill a concert hall twice over, Jessica had to laugh at Claude’s grimace of helplessness.

  ‘A mere two acts,’ he complained, ‘but what am I to do? She won’t be upstaged, and he won’t appear with anyone else.’

  ‘What about the orchestra I hear is making the trip down from Paris?’ Jessica enquired. ‘Isn’t that another act in itself?’

  ‘Orchestra?’ he cried, throwing out his hands. ‘They will be only ten in number. I don’t understand why we French have to take such long holidays in the summer. Is it not a great pleasure to play music all of the time?’

  As Jessica laughed, her eyes, as if they had a will of their own, moved to Luc, and as if he’d realised it his flicked towards her. She looked away quickly and tried to engage herself in one of Andrea Schmidt’s stories, while listening to the tragic aria of Madama Butterfly. She sipped more wine, ate more food, then laughed as Fernand refilled her glass and Claude and Daniella fell into one of their wonderfully entertaining disputes. The fact that they were still deeply in love in spite of – or maybe because of – three children and twelve years of marriage, was so evident that no-one ever took their bickering seriously. It made Jessica think of how she used to be with Charlie, so easy and relaxed, teasing him, as he teased her, while always knowing how close they would be when they got home. Then she saw Lilian whisper something in Luc’s ear that made him laugh, and as he looked into his wife’s eyes before pressing a kiss gently to her lips Jessica felt as though a light was going out inside her.

  The salt-baked sea bass with sorrel and chilli was served, but she ate very little before her plate was taken away. Then the cheese was put in front of her, followed by the dessert of flambéed cherries with ice cream, though she was unable to eat that either. She wanted to apologise to Fernand, but his kindly eyes showed she didn’t have to, which made her feel worse. She didn’t want anyone’s sympathy or understanding, she just wanted everyone to realise that no matter how she felt about Luc, no-one mattered more than Lilian, or Charlie, who, Lilian was just informing everyone, was about to join them at Valennes.

  In the end, waiting only for coffee to be over, Jessica managed to excuse herself, saying she was tired after too much sun and wine. Lilian immediately suggested she and Luc should walk her back through the vineyard, but to Jessica’s relief the Schmidts decided to leave with her.

  Just after she let herself into the cottage her mobile started to ring, and though she desperately wanted it to be Luc, she knew from the ringtone that it was a message.

  ‘Darling, it’s me,’ Charlie said. ‘I’m just saying goodnight, because I know you’re up at the manoir this evening, and Harry and I are off to bed early – in case you’d forgotten I have to leave at six in the morning. Nikki’s going to be here for Harry, so don’t worry about that, then he’s coming to the studio with me later. Also, I wanted to say that I’m sorry for being short with you earlier. I promise I’ll try to get hold of your mother, or Maurice, again tomorrow, but if I don’t have any luck, I still have an arrangement to see him on Tuesday. He hasn’t cancelled, and obviously I won’t either. Anyway, hope you and Lilian are having a great time now she’s back. Say hi from me. Love you,’ and a moment later the line went dead.

  Wishing it weren’t too late to call back, Jessica went upstairs and lay down on the bed. This would get easier, she told herself. She would stop wanting Luc, and it would stop hurting, just as long as she kept reminding herself that it rea
lly wasn’t as serious as she’d feared. She hadn’t fallen in love with him, it only felt that way because attractions, or infatuations always did at first. So she really would get past this, and it wouldn’t take long provided she could stop herself imagining how powerfully he would make love, how exquisitely he would move into her body, and how right it would feel to be with him that way, when in reality it would be so very, very wrong.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ‘MUM! YOU’LL NEVER guess where I am,’ Harry cried excitedly down the line.

  ‘Um, let me see,’ Jessica replied gamely. ‘Up a tree?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘On a camel?’

  Harry giggled. ‘No, I’m sitting in Dad’s chair in the studio where he reads the news, and there’s a camera looking at me.’

  ‘No! So what are the headlines today?’

  ‘I don’t know. Um, a bus fell off a bridge and floated in the river and everyone got swept out to sea, but they could swim so now they’re in America, all wet and worn out.’

  Jessica laughed. ‘Where do you get your imagination?’ she wanted to know.

  ‘Dad says it’s from you.’

  She was still smiling as she lay back in her deckchair and gazed out across the front lawn of the château to where Lilian and Luc were playing badminton with Antoine and Elodie. Everyone else was relaxing in the shade, replete from a delicious lunch, sleepy with wine, and wanting nothing more than to soak up this perfect Sunday afternoon, but as always, children had other ideas. ‘Has Dad finished now?’ she asked Harry.

  ‘Yes, I think so. He’s here talking to some people. Shall I put him on?’

  ‘Not if he’s busy.’

  Harry didn’t answer straight away, but she could hear voices in the background, then Charlie came on the line saying, ‘Hi, how are you?’

  ‘I’m OK,’ she answered. ‘Harry sounds as though he’s enjoying himself.’

  ‘I think he is. We should be out of here soon, though. It’s just some things are due to come up at the UN about Syria this week, so they want to talk about the interview I shot with the Opposition Leader while I was in Paris.’

  Remembering it was what he’d been doing at the time Natalie died, she felt a jarring in her heart, but she didn’t mention it, and nor did he.

  ‘Where are you now?’ he asked.

  ‘At Claude and Daniella’s, having a very lazy day.’

  ‘Sounds good. How’s Lilian? Over the jet lag?’

  ‘She seems to be, but we haven’t had a chance to spend much time together yet. I think she and Luc are enjoying a bit of a second honeymoon.’

  There was a wry note in Charlie’s voice as he said, ‘Well, let’s hope that spending some time apart has the same effect on us.’

  ‘I’m sure it will,’ she said, wishing she could believe it. ‘So what do you and Harry have planned for the rest of the day?’

  ‘Before we get into that, have you spoken to Nikki since she left for Norfolk?’

  ‘I had a text about an hour ago letting me know they’d arrived safely. Are you missing her?’

  ‘I haven’t had a chanceyet, but I’m sure I will, especially when Harry leaves tomorrow. The house is going to seem very empty for the next couple of days.’

  ‘Speaking of empty houses, have you managed to get hold of anyone at Maurice’s yet? Or don’t tell me, you haven’t had the time to try.’

  ‘Actually, I did earlier, but there was still no reply from either number, Maurice’s or your mother’s, so I rang the next-door neighbour, what’s-his-name Keane. Apparently they called Keane yesterday to check on things there, but he didn’t ask where they were, and the only number he has is the same as the one I have.’

  ‘Does she know I’ve spoken to the paramedic?’

  ‘I can’t think how, when neither of us has been in touch with her since then. Have you mentioned it to Lilian, by the way? What does she say about it?’

  ‘We haven’t had a chance to go into it, but there’s not very much she can say. It’s my mother who has the answers.’

  ‘Of course, I just wondered if it might have prompted someone over there into remembering something.’

  ‘Luc was the only one around at the time,’ she reminded him, ‘and all he saw was the so-called tourist’s car. Anyway, it’s looking as though we’ll have to wait until Tuesday now, when you’re due to see Maurice.’

  ‘I think so. Listen, I have to go, they’re calling me into the meeting. I’ll talk to you later.’

  Relieved that he hadn’t become irritable while talking about her mother, Jessica rang off and let the phone drop into her lap. A few minutes later she found herself becoming aware of the heat in a way she hadn’t before. It felt fierce and biting, as though it were trying to scorch her limbs, while the air seemed languid and thick, like a storm might be brewing. She closed her eyes and after a while the sounds of the game seemed to come and go as a relaxing heaviness descended over her. Then a shout of triumph from the makeshift badminton court made her look up.

  Elodie was bouncing up and down with her arms in the air, while Luc was rolling on the ground with Antoine in some kind of dispute about who was to blame for their defeat.

  Smiling, Jessica watched them, then her eyes followed Lilian as she left them to it and wandered over to a nearby lounger. As she flopped into it she was still panting slightly from the effort of the game, then the fight lost momentum and everything went quiet again as Luc and the children lay spreadeagled in the grass in the shade of a giant cedar tree.

  Long minutes ticked by with just the rasping of crickets and the occasional bird to break the silence. A phone started to ring inside the château, and groaning, Claude got up to answer it. He was back a few minutes later, and once again the stillness resumed, only to be broken by the wonderfully dreamy sound of a jazz piano that Yves put on the CD player before coming out to join them.

  From behind her sunglasses Jessica looked at Luc, prone on the grass, and possibly sleeping. Then she turned away, trying not to think of how much she’d like to go and lie there with him. What for a while had been the sweet torment of holding back and waiting was now becoming an agony of longing. Though she tried to stop her mind going in directions that would only make it worse, she all too often found herself in a world where there was no Lilian, or Charlie, there was only the beauty of what they’d known, and the passion that still needed to be shared.

  Close by, Fernand gave a snore, and then a bee started to buzz noisily around the lavender bed. Her eyes drifted closed again, then she was aware of Luc getting up and going into the house.

  ‘Jessica?’ a voice beside her said.

  She turned to see Antoine looking down at her. ‘Yes?’ she answered, smiling up at him.

  ‘Can I come to the airport when you pick up Harry tomorrow?’

  ‘Of course,’ she murmured, lifting a hand to smooth his cheek. ‘Provided Maman says it’s OK.’

  ‘I’ll go and ask her,’ he said.

  When he’d gone she watched Lilian get up from her lounger and come to sit on the grass beside her.

  ‘It’s so perfect here, isn’t it?’ Lilian sighed, leaning back on her hands and gazing around.

  ‘Mm,’ Jessica responded sleepily.

  After a pause Lilian said, ‘What time are you collecting Harry tomorrow? I thought we could have lunch, or breakfast, or at least a couple of hours together before he arrives.’

  ‘Just after two, so breakfast would work, if you two lovebirds can drag yourselves out of bed.’

  Lilian laughed, but there was a ring to it that made Jessica open her eyes.

  Lilian’s face was tilted up to the sun, making her expression difficult to see.

  ‘Is everything all right?’ Jessica asked.

  Lilian seemed surprised. ‘Yes, perfectly,’ she answered. Then after a pause, ‘And with you?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ Jessica replied.

  A few more seconds went by. ‘Actually, you’ve seemed a little . . .’ Lilia
n began. ‘I’m not sure, maybe distant, since I got back.’

  Feeling a beat of alarm, Jessica said, ‘I’m fine, honestly, except my mother’s done a vanishing act again, which seems highly convenient when I now know that the paramedic didn’t carry Natalie to the sofa.’

  Lilian’s head came round. ‘You didn’t tell me that,’ she said. ‘When did you find out?’

  ‘On Friday. You’ve had other things on your mind . . .’

  ‘But that’s important,’ Lilian interrupted. She seemed genuinely upset not to have been told, and angry with herself for not asking. ‘I knew you were talking to the paramedic, of course,’ she said, ‘but I hadn’t realised . . . Actually, I should have, but I was so full of myself on Friday . . .’

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jessica said gently. ‘We’ll get to the bottom of it as soon as we speak to my mother.’

  Lilian was about to respond when Antoine returned to inform Jessica that he had permission to come to the airport. Then Daniella was calling over to Lilian, ‘When do we get to see the jewels you’ve brought from India? I’ve promised to deck myself out in them for Claude later, to try and put some rev back into his ageing little Renault.’

  Everyone laughed as Claude chuckled from under the newspaper that was folded over his face.

  ‘It’s all inside,’ Lilian said, getting to her feet. ‘Shall I bring it out? Or perhaps it’s better indoors, where it’s cooler.’

  Jessica held out a hand for Lilian to pull her up, then arm in arm they strolled across the lawn towards the house.

  As they entered the kitchen Luc turned round from where he was washing his hands. He looked at Lilian, but as she went over to the centre table where she’d set out the jewellery, his eyes moved to Jessica and their intensity caught fiercely at her heart. He looked away again quickly, but just that one glance had left her in no doubt he was spending as much time thinking about her as she was about him.